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Archie, 7/21/12

Whenever a pretty girl walks by, Archie is so consumed by lust that he can’t even feel, say, a weed-whacker cable tearing into the flesh of his shin.

Spider-Man, 7/21/12

Haha, Spider-Man is super-worried that Clown-9 is bent on revenge against MJ’s dumb unwatchable play, when really he just wants to steal money and get drunk like a normal person.

Ziggy, 7/21/12

Ziggy’s plan to shame-binge on fun meals has been foiled.

Apartment 3-G, 7/21/12

“Gasp!! They know my real name! I’m going to have to kill all of them!”

Rex Morgan, M.D., 7/21/12

Oh, the Morgans have more than $10,000 in “bug-out money” just lying around the house, by the way.