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Judge Parker, 9/14/08

Is an attractive, large-breasted young woman answering the door wearing next to nothing for no good reason? Why, it must be Judger Parker then! Thank goodness Sam is on the case, since he’s repeatedly proven himself to be immune to sex appeal of any form and will continue grimly towards the goal of his mission: informing the inhabitants of Dewey Cheatem’s house that the man who is probably their friend or loved one or a member of their family has been killed. Sam would like you to believe that he’s doing this because he, and only he, and not the corrupt, incompetent Phoenix law enforcement apparatus, will be able to solve this mysterious crime, but I suspect that he mostly just likes being a dick.

Apartment 3-G, 9/14/08

Though the Alan Is A Drug Addict storyline in Apartment 3-G has given us all many joys, I believe that today is in fact the Big Payoff, as we learn that, for the true addict, Getting High Is All He Or She Cares About. As we have seen, this can damage your relationships with others, cause you problems on the job, and, once the only drug dealer in all of New York heads to the Hamptons for his annual vacation, will leave you incredibly bored, since you won’t have any hobbies left other than ingesting that wonderful dope.