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Beetle Bailey, 6/20/15

Let’s ignore for the moment the chaplain’s little joke that he, as a clergyman, has a special right to God’s attentions and support in even the most trivial matters. Let’s instead focus on General Halftrack’s apparently entirely straight-faced question in panel two: “Then what is God interested in?” It’s as if he took a moment to sincerely contemplate what the omnipotent, omniscient creator of all time and space might deem important about one of His creations, a being whom He loves deeply despite the fact that He is as vastly more powerful and wise as we are to the tiniest bacterium, and he thought: yep, golf, definitely golf, I think about golf all the time so probably God does too.

Funky Winkerbean, 6/20/15

“What you should do with your next book is write about how you met and fell in love with Cayla, your current wife, and how that new relationship helped you move forhahahahaha obviously I’m kidding, write about Lisa, always Lisa, write about meeting Lisa and it will seem exciting and romantic at first but a miasma of despair will always be floating over it, always, because Lisa is dead and Lisa is always dead and you’re going to write about Lisa’s death forever and ever.”

Rex Morgan, M.D., 6/20/15

“Oh, good,” thinks Mrs. P., “it seems the bonding transference has occurred more quickly than anticipated! The parents aren’t necessary at all anymore. I’ll have them eliminated.”