No one will be seated during the thrilling “Parker sits” sequence, except of course Truck
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Gearhead Gertie, 9/12/24
Those are legit NASCAR car‑and‑driver number flags. Of course they are; this is Gearhead Gertie. But if Gertie is a fan of more than a third of the field, can she really claim to be a fan at of any individual team? (Tip: don’t ever tell a NASCAR fan it’s not a team sport.) Does she even care who wins, or is she just there for the noise, fumes, and camaraderie? I also wonder about Gertie’s relationship with dashed‑pride‑guy there. Will they bond over their shared admiration of Josh Berry and Chase Elliott, or squabble over the merits of Kyle Busch and Harrison Burton?
Six Chix, 9/12/24
Use emojis to immunize yourself against the spontaneous laughter-induced buttockectomy that put this poor lady in the hospital. Or just read Six Chix every day and nip the problem in its bud.
Take It from the Tinkersons, 9/12/24
Once a year or so, this mostly joke‑a‑day strip veers wildly into over‑the‑top workplace dramedy. Ellen here is the new sales manager at Ed‑N‑Son Light Bulbs. She claims to be the twin of former sales manager and suspected serial killer Helen who, like many of her colleagues, disappeared under mysterious circumstances. But everybody assumes she’s really Helen and fears the worst.
Ted, facing an empty future hawking knockoff light bulbs in a shrinking market dominated by Big LED, embraces the risk. All things considered, suicide by proxy looks like the easy way out.
Blondie, 9/12/24
Dag, when you’re counting on Social Security and a pension from the J.C. Dithers Company for steady income, it just might be time to check out Powerball.
Rex Morgan, 9/12/24
Parker sits beside the seated Truck, who muses, “if only I had worn one of those newfangled finger helmets, I wouldn’t be sitting here today! And yet today here I sit!”
—Uncle Lumpy
138 replies to “No one will be seated during the thrilling “Parker sits” sequence, except of course Truck”
RMMD:
“Fell off your bike?”
“Nah. Kept ramming my head against the installment panels trying to make sense of the story arc involving you!”
RMMD:
“Son, why wouldn’t that helmet squish in that mop top of yours?”
“My nickname is ‘Jiffy Pop’! — blasted coiffure keeps expanding, no matter what!”
MW:
“Now, can we top the cake with figurines of dogs playing cards?”
RMMD-“I’ve been punched out a few times myself. You should see what hookers charge for that.”
MW-Don’t forget you also have to plan your bachelorette party, Estelle.
Crankshaft-“No. The store was burned down for the insurance money.”
Uncle Lumpy, many thanks for starting Comments prior to 4am so we early readers can post before we forget.
LUANN:. Now if Les just changes his morning Froot Loops to something with fiber topped by fruit, I’d say he’s got a pretty good meal plan! For a young man, that is.(for youth and nutrition, see BETTY and ZITS)
CS:. A book unwanted by school board that is rumored to be reason for fire? That’s going to be one hot ticket for teens! And who said Lillian wasn’t a good marketer.
FBOFW:. I call foul 1: Out of character for April. Thought she was more like I was–running to get into a new adventure!
BF:. Yeah, Beloit’s expression yesterday in last panel was puzzling. Was it a smirk because she wasn’t going to rendezvous with a lover those two weeks, or was it a grin that she was free to be with another, him, those two weeks?
GA:. Ok, they’ll find Mee-Meow in a box. Will she have fouled it up like Libby or does she have kittens?
MANDRAKE:. Explore a steamy hole in an isolated setting by blindly jumping in? How do you spell “Stoopid”?
PHANTOM:. I call foul 2:. Showing obeisance in a dog fight is a learned behavior, and Robo Rover never learned it from Devil. Besides, Devil’s claws and bites wouldn’t hurt a metal monster.
6c:. Thanks, Uncle L, I’d forgotten what LMAO stood for until you explained it.
SF:. Tread gently, Jackie. Do nothing until talking with former owner. If she’s a worthess employee but beloved member of the community, you gotta keep her.
RMMD:
“Don’t point that finger at me, Mister! — you don’t know where it’s been!”
“See, it ain’t been anywhere! — that’s the whole medical point of the evolution of this here narrative path!”
I guess we can assume that Gertie loves all of the players (and thus all of Nascar) equally.
Listen up people, Gertie is the new Messiah and will lead us to discovering world peace!
Wait… Nascar was actually about racing, and rooting for a winner?
I thought it was just waiting to see if the cars will crash and explode.
RMMD — Parker has already internalized the strictures of the nanny state and bought into the ideology that the government makes rules because they will benefit him. Truck knows he needs to drop a lot of Truth bombs on the boy if he’s ever going to red pill him!
GG — All those flags but not a single “Don’t Tread on Me” or blue striper?
Daggy — What? No crypto or Gamestop? And you call yourself Roaring Elmo. . .
Blondie : Didn’t we have a “Kids these days think recording themselves playing video games is a job” strip last week?… And, contrary to what we have today, instead of being skeptical, Dagwood was all “OMG THAT’S WHERE THE *REAL* MONEY IS!” ?
*************
Crankshaft : …why can’t Les distribute the books himself? As a matter of fact, WHY would the books be in Les’ possession, and not of his students or of the store?
I do WHY The Village Booksmith wasn’t simply just the store Les was getting his book from in the first place; because the story needed a ‘redshirt’ to be the victim of the threat of the week, so as to establish that the danger is real.
(But then, why have it all happen OFF-PANEL?)************
Flash Gordon : “And by that, I mean that BOTH the people who wanted me to be a purehearted do-gooder AND the people who wanted me to be just as despotic as Ming are disappointed!”
***********
Gearhead Gertie : those flags aren’t to signal who Gertie roots for; those flags are TROPHIES, and represent on-track fatalities Gertie
causedwas present for.***********
Take it from the Tinkersons : it’s always wild to me that this crudely-drawn comic that’s sub-Hi&Lois stuff half the time, is INSANELY CONVOLUTED PLOT ABOUT HOW ONE OF DAD’S COWORKER IS A SECRET SERIAL KILLER BUT HE DOESN’T KNOW WHICH ONE (and it’s switched SEVERAL times) the other half.
Like, “I don’t know if I can trust you, since last I heard, YOU’re the serial killer, and how can I believe you’re sincere when you’re already lying to everyone by pretending to be your own identical twin sister?” doesn’t feel like it should be a line said in a gag-a-day strip that looks like THAT.
Josh’s PayPal Panel: I was in the real world all day yesterday and didn’t notice I was looking at today’s post.
I first thought that this was some screwed-up Mary Worth strip observing the anniversary of 9/11.
My second thought was still that Brigman and Moy have lost it.
Blondie: We all know that kids will be kids but will Elmo ever take off that stupid hat?
GG: I don’t care how many flags the old bag has if she’s riding my bumper during the rush hour traffic.
MW: I think the saddest thing about all this is the realization that Estelle has no friends at all.
GG What s great about this strip is that it’s really for everyone: for those that like NASCAR there’s all sorts of inside baseball stuff, and for the rest of us we don’t really need to worry about not getting the joke because there is none.
GG: Meanwhile, the local golf course is missing all its greens flags.
GG: You got it right. NASCAR = noise, fumes, and camaraderie. Plus, we’re allowed to bring coolers into the stands and drink whatever we want.
FC: Bil’s gets the celery and baguette ready for him and Thel to recreate their favorite Gil Elvgren poster.
GG: For a comic about NASCAR, you’d think the artist would be better at drawing cars.
RMMD: “By the way, I’m a non-binary.”
“Ah don’t know what-all that means, but Ah’m pretty dang sure we didn’t have none of them either-wise.”
RMMD: The sheer banality of this comic is incredible, and I hope it never ends. Who knows what other amazingly mundane things Truck might have to say about bicycle history?
Luann: So much of this comic is dedicated to nothing more than setting one of the characters up to be booed and hissed at, with little-to-no other storytelling purpose. It’s like Goofus and Gallant for “adults,” with only a fraction of the self-awareness and none of the good intentions.
JP: Well, we can finally put the “Declan and Glen
and Lucashave the same parents” theory to rest (even though there’s a strong chance it was initially correct and Marciuliano just changed his mind later). So yeah, mixing the Declan stuff early in theLucasGlen plot served nothing but to make this leg of the story more confusing because critical exposition took place months ago, though honestly from what I recall it was a pretty thin gruel anyway. At any rate, Neddy is finally talking directly to Declan’s mom, paying off several months of build-up to this climactic moment, and they’re using this opportunity to… immediately break off the conversation to instead schedule it for a later date, and likely off-page. You’re the best, Marciuliano.MW: Poor Estelle! She has an unlimited budget and timetable to plan her dream wedding completely on her own terms with no other significant life responsibilities to distract her, and there are so many choices she has to make while delegating all the responsibilities! Isn’t that awful? Just look at her, anguishing over touring scenic venues and sampling delicious cakes while her lazy oaf of a fiancé is off pulling 60+ hour work weeks to keep sick and injured animals alive. Don’t you just feel terrible for Estelle?
DT: For crying out loud, and I still have Crankshaft to get through. Is it too much to ask that these cartoonist hacks limit themselves to single-digit numbers of plot holes per day? Why does every single one of these comics have to be the dumbest fucking thing I’ve ever read?
Shoe: Looks like they had to sub in the Sopwith Camel Bird aujourd’hui because even The Perfesser balked at delivering such a dumb punch line.
GT: Marty Moon ignores the fact that Gordon also just got his innards scrambled.
MW: “GAAAAAAH, now I gotta decide which flavor of cake to have?! This is too much! I can’t do this alone! That bastard Harding is going to pay for dumping all this on me, and I swear to God, he’s gonna pay dearly! Pastry Chef, for a wedding cake, I’ll have one of each.”
6C: The use of the word “regret” leads me to believe she’s not in the hospital, she’s on her deathbed.
GG: I grew up near Darlington and am currently not too far from Dover, so I know well enough that those flags would be Confederate as well as the right-wing dog whistle du jour.
RMMD: Truck’s next hit will be about bullying.
RMMD – Two guys sitting on a park bench. The only way Beatty can make storyline interesting is if he goes all Zoo Story on it.
Six Chix: Oh great, in addition to “Patient/family feel supported through dying process” and “Patient/family address and overcome denial of death” I gotta use “Patient reconciled to unfinished business (emoji pack)” in my clinical goals?!
Rex Morgan, M.D.: Calling it right now: by this time next week, these two will be wearing bowler hats and discussing existential futility.
@I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV: Rex Morgan, M.D.: Calling it right now: by this time next week, these two will be wearing bowler hats and
have come up with a better vaudeville comedy duo routine than “Beanpole and Shorty”.
GG: Only one thing left for that dude to do: suicide by Nascar driver. Pick one you want to get bad publicity, though.
6C: You’d think they would have used a cast on that poor woman’s fractured right arm, but I guess the hospice really didn’t care.
TIT: Dexter really went off the rails in its final seasons.
Blondie: “How much do you think people will pay me to play Pac-Man all day?”
RMMD: Parker panicked because he didn’t want to look like a sissy to the rugged roots-country dude by wearing a helmet every time he rode his bike, so he opted to go for the “concussed by a bully” line. Listen, concussions can have long-term effects.
@Anonymous: The two thoughts are not irreconcilable!
MW: “I had that at my first wedding…which reminds me, I gotta clean out my freezer.”
CS: After much confusion and screaming, I think I’ve pieced together what is supposed to be happening here, or at least something that vaguely fits this mess: Les Moore is a 300 IQ galaxy brain genius and he has shrewdly exploited a perfect loophole technicality regarding books prohibited by his school district. By arranging the purchase and distribution of these prohibited books but not being the specific person who is handing the books over, Les has guaranteed himself professional immunity, and everyone from the school to the protestors can do nothing but bask in silent awe at Les’s brilliant masterstroke, offering him no trouble for his role in this situation. Therefore, most of the protestors have turned their anger against book distribution locations in general, but some 400 IQ genius realized he could thwart Les by setting fire to the store Les was using as his catspaw, ruining civil order and imperiling lives, but far more importantly inconveniencing Les’s plan because not all the books had been picked up by the students yet. Despite knowing none of this, Lillian now knows all of this, having instantaneously figured Les’s whole scheme out because she’s a 500 IQ genius herself. Now Lillian’s injecting herself into this mess so she can risk getting her own store and home destroyed for the principle of teachers using their positions of institutional trust to push children to favorably read Dianetics or Heredity in Relation to Eugenics or The Protocols of the Elders of Zion or whatever else they want, because all restriction is oppression or something.
For your daily reminder that Les Moore is the biggest asshole in fiction history, it turns out Les is indeed aware that the store he used was targeted and burned down, and so he tracked down the owner, who was likely found sobbing in front the literal smoldering ruins of their life’s work, so he could demand that they dig through the wreckage to find his remaining books and give them to him, almost definitely insisting on receiving refunds and apologies for the handful of damaged copies. And if he agrees to Lillian’s plan, he’ll not only be pressuring his students to make their way to a local bookstore on their own time but insisting they travel to an entirely different town to pick up their copies, not caring whose lives are ruined in his quest to get a couple dozen teenagers to boredly flip through a second-rate dystopia story.
CS: “I’m sorry, Lillian, but I can’t do that. This is MY moment in the sanctimony spotlight, and I’m not letting anyone else horn in on it. Good night, madam.”
Pluggers: Andy Bear laments that wearing the teared-off scalps of hirsute humans just isn’t the same.
Frazz: “One day, I’ll be as good at complaining as that Caulfield feller.”
Luann: If there’s anyone who would know about “tiresome,” it would be Gunther.
CS: “A local business died, and a few people are going to lose their livelihoods, but I dodged a bullet. Whew!”
So…The Burnings, as depicted at the end of Funky Winkerbean, was an apocalyptic event. We’re going to find out that it impacted a total of one store in Westview, aren’t we?
MW: Lemon cake at a wedding?!? What a monster!
Zits: “On the Pringles.”
FC: And, now, thanks to Jeffy, it’s inedible.
@jroggs:
Comics Curmudgeon mission statement, in bronze above the door.
Yesterday I cracked wise about Parker hitting on Truck brought about a mix of completely forgetting who Parker was and the inability of the artist to consistently draw teenagers who look like teenagers. Granted, on Monday he looked like a pre-teen (I had to go back to see what he looked like each day), but yesterday you can’t tell me he didn’t look like he was in his thirties, and oh my gods a story about Truck sitting on a bench is not going to find any sort of home in my memory.
Anyway, I’m sorry if you were offended.
***
Speaking of memory holes, Gearhead Gertie, maybe you shouldn’t remind people about NASCAR fans and flags, considering what flag they recently had to ban…
FG: “Considering I just finished breakfast a half hour ago and I’m already into my second bottle of Mongolian Mad Dog, it’s not going very well at all.”
Crank: “Go pick up the books and drive them the fifty miles to your shop? Great idea! Of course, I could just drive to school and let the kids pick them up when they come to class, but where’s the fun in that?”
DT: ”You won’t be sorry, Mister Cosanostra. Namaste.”
Two thoughts about Gearhead Gertie:
1. Wouldn’t the flags flying from infield vehicles at NASCAR tracks include plenty of Trump ones?
2. “Josh Berry and Chase Elliott, or squabble over the merits of Kyle Busch and Harrison Burton” – I recognize only one of those names. Having attended a couple of races in my youth, my first attempt at such a sentence would have mentioned Richard Petty, David Pearson, Cale Yarborough and Darrell Waltrip. Which of course, means that I’m approaching Pluggers age.
“Nah, I fell off a bully I was riding.”
Gearhead Gertie – The cartoonist would love nothing more than to make Gertie a marketable icon for all of NASCAR, and collect money like Jim Davis, agnostic of which driver, team, or item Gertie’s face is splashed on.
Blondie – Now, you may be wondering, didn’t Dagwood attempt to get his son Alex (who he spends less time with than Elmo, who is not his son or relative) to get into being a video game influencer?
Yes, and he realized that his son is a real dud (which is why you don’t see him as much in this strip). Even Elmo only works as a foil to Dagwood, so branching out into his own thing is a risky proposition.
Rex Morgan – We’re already being signaled that aspiring entertainer Parker is going to be an apprentice of Truck, but instead of Truck’s mid-20th century sideburns and western shirts, his schtick will be wearing a bike helmet.
Slylick Fox And Comix For Kinx: “Dad’s Bogarting the turkey smell!”
@taig: TIT:
__________________
Has Josh changed the CC bylaws so Playboy comics are fair game now for Commudgeoning?
@Uncle Lumpy: Also, “Cur omnes et singuli ex his comicis res mutissimas esse debent quas semper legi?”
RMMD “None of my business, son, but you look to be, what, 35 years old? Isn’t that a little old to be dealin’ with bullies?”
@Uncle Lumpy: And how.
@Little Guy: Neo-Chicago delenda est.
@Anonymous:
I do WHY The Village Booksmith wasn’t simply just the store Les was getting his book from in the first place; because the story needed a ‘redshirt’ to be the victim of the threat of the week, so as to establish that the danger is real.
And the story de-escalates the danger at every turn. Today we learn that Lillian’s heroic act is to hand out some non-banned, uncontroversial books Les bought from someone else. The entire stakes of this story is to circumvent a school board’s “suggested” reading list, in defiance of unseen and ridiculous “protestors”, who lit a fire which, according to Sunday’s strip, may have been unrelated. Can the stakes get any smaller?
Also, why doesn’t the police just arrest the damned protestors? You’re not allowed to set businesses on fire just because you don’t agree with the products they sell. Not even if you *are* on the school board!
MW: Estelle, Estelle, can we get on with this? We’ve got wedding merch to order! Outfits for Libby, Pierre, and Odin are already being designed and constructed by old world craftspersons, but we need details for the other commemorative items! How are we gonna offer a commemorative plate without the wedding date or not knowing the “theme”??
I do hope she’s reconsidering that cockamamie idea of a zoo theme… We’d have to bring in live models for all those masks and that would be a logistic nightmare. And I’m sure The Ladies wouldn’t wanna foot the bill.
But we gotta have our petty little “drama” here before the Big Event can take place… yawn. Our clients are at least getting a nice break from all this contrived conflict, which is putting both Estelle and Ed in a bad light. I tell ya, it’s making the audience reconsider whether those two should even have pets…
@taig: Lemon cake with coconut frosting. In Estelle’s diabolical plan, every wedding guest will skip dessert and she’ll have leftover cake for WEEKS.
This reminds me of one of my top ten In Security strips:
Roy: “Why’d you marry my weird cousin, anyway?”
Sam: “Well, she wanted a husband, and I wanted a big cake.”
Roy: “…..was the cake worth it?”
Sam (dreamy-eyed): “Oh yeah.”
@Banana Jr. 6000:
This is like the “Wit” vs. “Spamalot” school-play story back in ’09: guy with reasonable objections to putting on a two-person Cancer Drama instead of an ensemble musical is the villain, because the author said so.
Uncle Lumpy, I am loving your play-by-play on all the action in Rex Morgan this week. As they say, “You’ll pay for the whole seat, and you will be sure to get your money’s worth.”
Gearhead Gertie: “SHIT! IT’S THE FLAG-STEALING OLD LADY! HELP ME HIDE MY FLAGS QUICK!”
Six Chix: I’ll be honest if a relative of mine said something like this while on their death bed, I’d probably reach for the life support plug.
The Tinkersons: The contrast between this David Cronenberg-esque psychological horror premise of a woman being accused of being a serial killer and her probably-dead sister in disguise by everyone around her and the incredibly white-bread, inoffensive, and safe-playing newspaper comic vibe is something else.
Blondie: The writer of Blondie decides to show that he’s totally not out of touch with modern society by referencing the concept of video game let’s plays and streaming as if it’s this newfangled passing fad and not something that’s been around for nearly thirty years now.
Rex Morgan: Oh, man, this story was already so intense when it was just Truck sitting on the bench, but now he’s engaging in aimless conversation with this random kid! Slow the fuck down, Beatty, you’re gonna give your readers heart attacks if you keep up at this pace!
@Philip: In a lopsided vote, the NASCAR executive board declined Gearhead Gertie as their iconic symbol (symbolic icon?) in favor of 1980-era Catherine Bach.
CS: Oh great, the kids can just drive 50 miles to get their books. I thought Lillian “We’ve had the internet for how long now?” Mackenzie would tell Les that Farenheit 451 can be easily read for free online. Then maybe we could get back to Crankshaft burning leaves in his gutters or whatever.
@Ukulele Ike: That’s very funny.
Your unsettling thought for the day: Somewhere out there, at least one person finds Gearhead Gertie amusing in a non-ironic manner.
@ectojazzmage: Also not to mention he already made a game-streaming joke just a few days ago… I would say he’ll end up beating a dead horse, but that horse had rotted away 50 years ago.
@Bob Tice: When I was a kid, I saw a freaky Little Lulu cartoon (the 90’s show, not the old old show)
Where Lulu invented a hair-growth tonic for her bald father, it caused his hair to grow at an alarming rate, hair filling the entire house, almost bursting out the windows onto the street, while all the father could do was sit in his chair while the mother is cutting the hair with scissors as fast as possible, while Lulu had to make an antidote.
Me as a kid: Wow, this is disturbing and creepy….
Me as an adult: Wow, this is still disturbing and creepy… and this is probably a kink to someone out there, who probably only got it from watching this as a kid.
FC: GOOD HEAVENS – don’t let Bianca Xunise see this comic!!!!! =:0
“Ted, this is Alice from H.R. Did you call Helen a serial killer? Uh huh. Uh huh. I see. OK, there’s some mandatory sensitivity training we need to take before we put you on unpaid leave. Now, Ted, you know they prefer to be called homicidal-Americans.”
Six Chix – If only there had been more funny comic strips in her life.
Don Abundio, translated:
“No! Don’t look so bored!”
“We have a lot more matting to scuff!”
Tinkersons: Along with Marvin and Baby Blues I’ll NEVER understand why men have such gigantic noses in comic strips.
It’s not even part of the joke, they’re just drawn that way… badly.
@The Rambling Otter: Adult men I mean, thankfully the kids in those strips didn’t inherit such a thing.
RMMD: “Nope, punched out by a bully.”
“Yeah, I can believe that.”
CS: I wonder why Les didn’t force them to read “Lisa’s Story” instead. That was also banned by school management.
Archive – Mark Trail has random talking foreground animals; Archie has random talking passers-by in the hall.
RMMD-“We also didn’t associate with people who had the Devil’s Red Hair either. Now move along.”
@Tabby Lavalamp:
You are right about the inconsistency of Parker. Tomorrow he’ll be older than Truck.
FC – Is a giant baguette just called a bague?
Between Friends – I’m pretty sure phones still have “off” buttons. FOR NOW.
@Peanut Gallery:They also have a”sleep” setting.
I expect better from Mike Smith and Gearhead Gertie. No one is a fan of Denny Hamlin AND other drivers.
@Needless Exposition: Blondie: Elmo is wearing the same kind of felt beanie as Jughead (from Archie, not Snuffy Smith), right? Briefly faddish among boys in the 1950s, I think.
Awwww, couldn’t at least one of those flags have said ‘ham’? I’d pay good money to see Heathcliff and his team of vulpine lawyers from Tinker, Evers and Chance do to Gertie what they did to Chix Cat yesterday.
@Inspector Gotcha: Now that you mention it, I’m astonished that Batiuk didn’t choose Lisa’s Story as his strawman book. It seems like the sort of thing he’d love to do.
@Peanut Gallery:
Miren que enojado se pone Don Abundio, cuando Mimosa ni siquiera intentó pisar la tapete . No está bien, hombre.
@Tom T.:
Headgear for poor boys repurposed from worn-out fedoras; date from the ’20’s or even earlier. They show up in vintage movies like Our Gang.
Can you imagine wearing a hat so often it wears out?
@Inspector Gotcha: I imagine Lisa’s Story is the Ruhnama of this world: a book that must be learned at an early age, studied at extensive length, and recited on cue if you ever want a job.
@taig: I’m astonished that Batiuk didn’t choose Lisa’s Story as his strawman book.
In Soviet Westview, Lisa’s Story burns you!
@The Rambling Otter: It’s not even part of the joke, they’re just drawn that way… badly
___________________________________
I think you inadvertently gave yourself your answer, Rambling,its the opposite of Roger Rabbit — those strips can only do a thing when its UNfunny.
@Violet: Mientras tanto, Mimosa es como “Lo que sea.”
Six Chix: There have been times when I, a grown-ass woman, have made the snooty reply “Oh, did that really make you laugh? I rather doubt it. I don’t believe you.” Usually in YouTube comments, usually in response to “lmfao” with the “laugh till I cry” emoji. So this has gotta be the comic for me. Why, if you can’t beat them, join them. You actually thought “Mulholland Drvive” wasn’t disturbing? I am laughing very hard indeed, take my word for it, you young plebians. Feast on my laughter tears.
Blondie-Elmo has a stable of women he pimps out.
@made of wince: *Dr Vive? Now that’s a title.
@Banana Jr. 6000: Yeah, it would be legitimately unimaginable for anyone to want to ban it, it is the very corner stone of life, more important than bread.
@Uncle Lumpy: Headgear for poor boys repurposed from worn-out fedoras; date from the ’20’s or even earlier. They show up in vintage movies like Our Gang.
Jeff Goldblum can be seen wearing such a hat in Death Wish (1974), in his breakout role as Freak 1.
@Tom T.: I think Elmo’s hat is supposed to be a ball cap, but it’s so stylized you can hardly tell.
@jroggs: RE: RMMD: Um..hel-LO? How else would they get this seamless (aka awkward and clumsy) non-sequitur to the previous storyline? (Tommorow’s strip: Truck. “I like you shirt too.” Parker: “Thanks. The color is unisex which is important because I’m non-binary. Did I forget to mention that? I’ll be sure to remind you seven more times to make up for my lapse.”)
MW – Freudian slip department: “I’m looking for something different this time. Maybe lemon… my fiance is a lemon…”
@Rube: And Les Moore absolutely would have built this.
The Family Circus Spanish to English.
Dogs of C-Kennel: Fart joke.
Blondie – The Far Side did it better.
Frazz – You have complaining down pretty well. Now let’s move on to mocking people behind their backs.
Mary Worth – I’m confused. Didn’t Dr. Ed want to get married soon? That should involve a trip to a Justice of the Peace or maybe an appointment with a minister. Estelle is checking out venues and cakes, and the wedding plans are becoming more elaborate. It will be several months before she can schedule the wedding. It pains me to say this, but she needs some intense meddling to get this wedding under control.
@Uncle Lumpy: The “Wit v Spamalot” story also had the problem that Spamalot would have been prohibitively expensive for a high school to put on. So both suggestion are unviable. But the important thing is that readers see it was wrong to criticize Tom Batiuk for turning his once-good comic strip into a pushy, badly-written, award-baiting cancer drama.
@Uncle Lumpy: This is like the “Wit” vs. “Spamalot” school-play story back in ’09: guy with reasonable objections to putting on a two-person Cancer Drama instead of an ensemble musical is the villain, because the author said so.
To Tom Batuik, history’s greatest villains would be people who wanted something funny.
Gearhead Gertie – I never see this unless it’s featured here. I never look for it, because I loathe this strip. It’s one note crap. In her own way, Gertie is as loathsome as Loathsome Lillian. The difference is that Gertie Is vacuous and brainless, while Lillian’s lizard brain is functional.
9CL – How could we forget that Edda is Mother of the Century? She acquired the title when she popped in to the neonatal ICU to do ballet poses while she peeked at the twins in their incubators, making sure that everyone saw her meticulously drawn and shaded legs. Shouldn’t she be making deviled eggs?
They’re all in a void as usual, and it’s perfectly normal and appropriate for a grown woman and her underage fiancee to be making out in front of their mothers.
@The Rambling Otter: There’s an M.R. James story with a similar theme: “The Diary of Mr. Poynter.” Being written by M.R. James, it’s a horror story. Gotta love M.R. James.
@Die Rosenkavalieren: Really interesting dude. The ghost stories were basically a Christmas diversion in the life of a genuinely first rate scholar.
@Liam: Is one of the Cookie?
Curtis: I honestly thought Heart-Throb was about to break into the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme in the second panel.
JP: So, Declan’s mom seems nice. Ten will get you twenty that a) all this FAMILY DRAMA he’s been going on about is his own fault somehow, and b) his supposed ne’er-do-well brother is actually really nice as well. And then goodbye, Declan, hello [I refuse to look up the brother’s name for this bit]!
Phantom: Oh, good, as if the shaky grasp of how AI works wasn’t enough bad science for one story, now we learn that Stripey still believes in “alpha wolves”.
Pluggers: Now, a bad fur day, that they understand!
SH: “But Holbrook,” came the cry from readers, apparently, “Is there any way that Palmtop’s cat form being the mascot of the very office she works at in human form could make less sense?” And Holbrook has provided!
S4th: Okay, this is no dafter than my guess of it being the previous owner — in fact, I’ll admit it’s slightly less so — but now that it’s actually happened, I feel like maybe this is something Jackie would have been told during all the logistical stuff that I assumed happened but Ces didn’t show us because it would have been dull. Now I’m starting to suspect there was no logistical stuff and Jackie has no idea how this shop works. (Remember, her previous shop was magic, so she didn’t need to know how it worked.) It’s probably lucky Kerri is there, to explain things like “ordering stock”.
TIFTT: What If… Francesco Marciuliano didn’t get that Judge Parker gig, but still came up with overblown melodramatic soap plots that he felt compelled to shoehorn into Sally Forth?
(Yes, I know Sally Forth really does veer into melodrama sometimes, but so far nobody’s been murdered. So far.)
“A serial killer posing as a twin sister” is incredibly awkward dialogue. Anyone’s twin sister in particular, dude?
@95 I speak Jive: on Mary Worth: I think the storyline’s going to play out like this: Estelle will get more and more overwhelmed by all the decisions so many bridezillas live for. Just after she’s flummoxed more than Toby Cameron in a grocery store that doesn’t sell Splak!, Mary meddles in to remind her that What’s-his-face with the bow tie and What’s-her-name with the bandana got married in a small wedding at the picturesque Santa Royale City Hall building which in no way is a tracing of Santa Barbara’s picturesque City Hall. Reusing of artwork ensues.
@102 Horace Broon: on S4th
Tomorrow you will see you hit the nail right on the head. Congrats!
@Baja Gaijin: re MW: Can Mary get Justce Sotomayor to officiate again? Since they’ll be reusing artwork.
love is… not having to worry about getting boob prints on your laptop.
@105 Arabella: She comes with the artwork!
@106 Sequitur: You can’t use this comment on a strip portraying a male Plugger.
Phantom: How could you tell that Devil is an alpha wolf when he’s never been a member of a pack that he can lord it over? Hasn’t he lived with Stripey his whole life?
CS: Weird thing though, Lillian. When the arson inspectors were going through the burnt ruins of the bookstore, they found one of your next door neighbor’s charcoal grills.
@107 Baja Gaijin:
At least it’s a (flat) female using the laptop.
FC: Jeffy is getting too chummy with that loaf of bread.
FC: Odds are that loaf will be covered in Jeffy slobber before it reaches the table.
RMMD: Back in my day, kid, bicycles had one really big wheel you sat on top of and a tiny wheel in the back.
@109 Sequitur: And plugger males have huge manboobs. My brain is sad newspapers have published multiple male pluggers shirtless.
I’ve never heard of Take It From the Tinkersons but it looks like it sucks. Also bad: this kid Parker in Rex Morgan.
Mary Worth: Is Sheila See moonlighting as a pastry chef?
@Cleveland Mocks:
RMMD: “By the way, I’m a non-binary.”
“Ah don’t know what-all that means, but Ah’m pretty dang sure we didn’t have none of them either-wise.”
WHAT I SHOULDA SAID REWRITE:
“Ah don’t know what-all that means, boy, but Ah’m pretty dang sure we didn’t have none of them either-wise.”
Why do I keep reading Alley Oop? Lately he’s put in fewer appearances than Crankshaft, and when he does, he’s no longer carrying his stone axe. Good Lord, have pity on me!
@Rube: Imagine how cool it would have been to be invited to one of his Eton Christmas gatherings, and hear him read this year’s story aloud, by the fireplace, glass of oloroso in hand. Especially if it was the “Count Magnus” year.
@White Rabbit: I love the rebooted Oop, but as I’ve mentioned once already, NOT ENJOYING the “Soooper Ooola” plot line.
Wow, that’s a lotta “o’s.” Have a balloon.
SF: . Not crazy bout Kerri, either. Should be more busty and manic, like the new Blondie hire.
@Sequitur: She’s not even that popular on Zoom meetings.
LUANN: So Les provides all his own meals. That means Gunther is making the chef salad just for Gunther. So why should he tell Les exactly why he needs carrots, since Les has no reason to care? For that matter, it would appear that Les has no reason to ever swipe Gunther’s ingredients. Has Gunther never noticed before that Les never cooks? It’s not that I would ordinarily be a huge fan of Les. It’s just that Gunther is so fundamentally unpleasant that he makes Les look good by comparison. Also I get the impression that Les cares about his cat and takes reasonably-good care of him. For me, today’s score is Les 1, Gunther 0. In fact, that is pretty much the constant score.
GA: Just once more, like I posted yesterday, I do NOT want the Dork Duo finding Mee-Meow’s kittens down there. When a cat starts living in a house, responsible humans in the house get the cat neutered or spayed and also medically checked and vaccinated. I do not need any more reasons to mutter things about the humans in GA.
Dustin: Ed Kudlick is a fat, gluttonous pig # 4856.
FG: The reviews are mixed. Right now I’m polling below both Trump and Harris.
@Ukulele Ike: I love the rebooted Oop, but as I’ve mentioned once already, NOT ENJOYING the “Soooper Ooola” plot line.
Really? Well, I respect your opinion, so I’ll keep trying. It just seems to me that Oop is a feather-brained chucklehead without an axe, instead of the level-headed dinosaur jockey he used to be.
Are more and more people going to join Truck as he sits on benches all around the country a la Forest Gump’s cross-country run?
@Anonymous: Re, Tinkersons as soap/action/drama. That would actually be awesomely surreal. I’d read that. Other Strips like Marvin or Hagar or Beetle be so much better if they were dramatic, serious plots but the same shitty illustrations.
“Bad news, Sarge. Rocky’s dead—he stepped on a land mine and blew him to bits. And Beetle may have to lose the arm.”
@jroggs: I could not help but read your comment in Donald Trump’s voice and I’m now sitting in my kitchen laughing hysterically at myself.
GG: Is this supposed to be a joke or is it just a test of whether the readers can count?
RMMD: “Ha! Hilarious. Yeah, you seem like the type, kid.”
6C: Is there actually an emoji of someone laughing until their tuchus flies off? Can’t say I’ve ever seen it.
C-Shaft: Again, whatever message Batiuk wants to get across is undermined by giving the burnededed down store an idiotic name like “Booksmellers.” Obviously not just by that, or even primarily, but it’s a measurable thing within his control.
DT: “Operation Raylene”? I’m no sinister moon guy but my first question would be why the project sounds like it should be a fan favorite Lucinda Williams song.
FC: Never thought Lil Jeffy would start down the same road Bianca Xunise is on but here we are.
HtH: It’s always weird when comic strips rub your nose in the fact that their characters don’t have the standard number of fingers. Hagar would be (even more) out of luck if he wanted a nine iron.
JP: Mrs. Whelan is a witch. That’s not an insult or hyperbole. Only dark sorcery could explain the midcentury modern armchair being supported by those toothpick legs.
Luann: Can two divorced men share an apartment without driving each other crazy?
MW: We’re at the “there are a lot of kinds of wedding cake” stage of Intense Drama. A friend of the bride suggests that she just order a giant blueberry muffin.
Phantom: There’s no better writing in an adventure serial than “…and just when it looks like the hero might have to do something…”
@Artist formerly known as Ben:
Luann: Can two divorced men share an apartment without driving each other crazy?
That brings me to something that’s been bugging me this week; why does this strip so consistently portray Gunther&Les’ storage shed in their parents’ backyard as being the most spacious and well-furnished home?
…Okay, the obvious answer would be “because it’s not a storage shed, it’s an actual full-blown house”, but that just changes the question to : who would build an entire second home in their backyard for their kids to live in?
@Anonymous: No answer forthcoming as Gunthmom and Mr. Gray seem to have fallen off the face of the Earth.
@Anonymous: The exterior is a Tiny House, but it’s Snoopy’s doghouse inside.
FC: Jeffy’s going to put some of Mommy’s cologne on that loaf and take it to bed.
Dennis the Menace: Yes, the second language is Cursive.
@131 Guillermo el chiclero:
The loaf will leave Jeffy for Billy.
@128 Anonymous: “…who would build an entire second home in their backyard for their kids to live in?” Weird creepy controlling perverts?
@133 Sequitur: Oooh, burn!
@Peanut Gallery:
I know it’s supposed to be Jughead asking but I sort of wish your line were literally true, and that Emo Chick was just tossing in a random question so she could pretend to be interested.
@White Rabbit: “Really? Well, I respect your opinion, so I’ll keep trying….”
Aw, Sweetums! (I respect your opinion, too)
I have a couple of bound volumes of the old V.T. Hamlin strip covering 1938-41, when Alley first got ZANGED by Doc Wonmug and his Time Machine. They’re fun, especially because Wonmug and Oscar Boom and the other 1940 scientists are such snappy dressers — double-breasted suits, three-piece suits, pleated trousers, smoking pipes and cigars, great period stuff.
And I admit the new Alley Oop is Wacky. Oop is a bit of a goofus, but so is Doc Wonmug, who gets off some great self-deprecating zingers. I like Wacky Oop as much as 1938 Serious Oop.
I say bring back Buck Rogers and Wilma Deering and Doctor Huer and “Killer” Kane and Ardala Evilgal too, and make THEM Wacky. It would be a fun contrast with the new non-Wacky Flash Gordon.
@136 Ukulele Ike:
Oh, wait. You said wacky not wanky.
@Sequitur: Lots of comic strips are Wacky. Only 9CL is Wanky.