Another Tuesday, more soaps
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Dick Tracy, 10/8/24
New Dick Tracy story, everybody! It’s with a guest writer and guest artist but in keeping with the vibe of present-day Dick Tracy, it’s name-checking a beloved villain from the past, who despite being named “Arson” was a guy who used nitroglycerine to blow up safes. Anyway, I like the final panel, where Sam Catchem is grotesquely leering over Jay Scarborough’s corpse. I’m assuming we can’t see most of the vic’s face because it’s been hamburgerized by one to several bullets, and Sam is contemplating the limits of facial recognition AI.
Gasoline Alley, 10/8/24
Speaking of AI, who would’ve thought that Gasoline Alley, that most ancient and hoary of comic strips, would feature not one but multiple artificial intelligences? We’ve already met ART, the Automatic Robotic Tech-nurse, and today we encounter his (?) son (???), Arty, an AI doll, whose main purpose seems to be to compete against, and perhaps defeat in combat, evil magic dolls like Ida Noe. I say let ’em duke it out! I will be more than willing to pledge allegiance to the winner.
Gil Thorp, 10/8/24
While Gil is laid up in bed, the Mudlarks fight on, led by Assistant Coaches Martinez and Ochoa in his absence. Anyway, turns out Assistant Coaches Martinez and Ochoa suck ass! “I’m struggling out there, coach.” “Right, that’s because they know Coach Thorp isn’t here! They’re exploiting our weaknesses, especially our coaching weaknesses! Now get out there and win, or you’re personally failing Gil!”
Mary Worth, 10/8/24
Wait, did we know that Estelle was a widow? Did she murder Jimmy, because he didn’t pay close enough attention to her? I’m very much looking forward to this flashback, because I assume it’ll answer these questions, and I also assume it’ll take place in the ’90s and I want to see what the Mary Worth team thinks grunge fashion looks like.
100 replies to “Another Tuesday, more soaps”
MW:
“In what way?”
“Well, the piano-playing prowess of both! Now, Jimmy’s oeuvre was a little more, shall we say, bouncy — you know, Ozzy’s ‘Crazy Train’; the Stooges ‘Raw Power’; Danzig’s ‘Mother’….”
I really disliked the previous Gil Thorpe artwork. It was flat and awful and it hurt to look at it. The new artwork, though, is much worse. It looks like it was cut out of other artwork, poorly, like someone was going to send a hostage letter but decided to make a fun rebus out of it, but forgot the “fun” part.
Gasoline Alley:
“Ida’s schoolboy sweetheart is Chucky, from ‘Child’s Play’…I’m sure she’s going to incorporate a lot of his ideas into what we do!”
I wondered if the new artist was going to revolutionize the strip, but I think that it’s pretty clear that the new style is exactly what Gil Thorp deserves.
I guess that Gasoline Alley is going to do a big
epicshowdown between Science VS MagicI honestly hope this goes off the walls bonkers with both dolls using all kinds of manners of things, like blasting each-other with fire spells, shrink rays and the like… only to wonder how boring the actual confrontation (if there even would be one) would end up.
GA: “I remember her!” as if you need a moment to place the face of a talking, time travelling doll who dropped a bunch of children into the middle of the Civil War.
GT:
“Boys, I’m going to tell you something I’ve kept to myself for minutes…none of you have really ever known Coach Thorp the way I’ve known him. He goes back to long before your time. But you know what a tradition he is at Milford High. And the last thing he said to me today — ‘Coach,’ he said — ‘sometime, when the team is up against it, and the breaks are beating the boys, tell them to go out there with all they got and win just one for Beth the Bartendress. I don’t know where I’ll be, Coach — probably nursing a drink at her bar, schmoozing her and trying to get lucky — but I’ll know about it, and I’ll be happy!’ “
RMMD: Truck is the pleasant one in a human interaction? He’s gonna regret that.
MW: I can’t decide if Estelle is on the verge of self-awareness or if she’s going to double down on victimhood. Could go either way.
GA: The kids out-creep the dolls by a mile.
Dick Tracy : man, this artstyle is doing poor Sam Catchem’s no favor. No wonder Dick’s face is shrouded in shadow, he probably looks even worse!
***********
Gasoline Alley : You can tell that the creative team is intending for Arty to be immediately perceived as a bad guy (even though he’s doing nothing wrong) because the first thing out of his mouth is to specify by which pronouns he prefers being referred to! (Also Mee-Meow is hissing hatefully at it)
…Too far?…***********
Heart of the City : …is it just me, or is there some kinda SUBTEXT to how Heart and Dana are each other throats whenever they compete for a role, but if they get cast as Hero & Love Interest (respectively), they flawlessly play being deeply in love with each other with absolutely no problem?
***********
Hi & Lois : “The second thing on the list is that the ONE time I got to drive a Ferrari, I immediately crashed it… while drunk… and boy, was the owner PISSED a drunk 12-year old stole his car only to wreck it!”
Zits:
“The cat licked himself enthusiastically, starting from his paw and moving on to his nether regions, his tongue, evolved to lick off meat from his prey, as sharp as the old spinster Ms Carlyle, who was widely feared for her acid temper, and who was one day unsurprisingly discovered murdered, with not a clue as to the perpetrator, since the entire population of the town over the age of three could be considered a suspect; except, of course, for Hercule Poirot, who happened to be visiting, but nobody asked Hercule Poirot, because they thought he couldn’t understand colloquial spoken English, and because he had such a huge moustache that he couldn’t have seen anything past it anyway..”
“We can’t let Gil down! That’s his daughter’s and son’s job!”
Popeye:
Leave the two of them locked in together until they either kill each other or fall in love and go off to get married and have many very ugly children.
Curtis:
Dear old dad is Ed Crankshaft.
GT: New artist, same old “Gil is the best, most important person in the universe and nothing good can happen without him.”
MW: So Estelle’s previous husband was also a workaholic who made her feel neglected and second-best? No wonder she took a chance on Wilbur–he may be a LOT of things, but “workaholic” is not one of them.
“What do you think, Mary?”
“Jimmy was super-dedicated to his job, Ed spends all his time with animals, Wilbur always thought about his ex and his narcissistic self. Stell, have you considered… that the problem is that you are not very interesting?”
DT: “Real stand-up guys.” Well, no, one of them is lying down.
GA: At least the robot isn’t in uncanny valley territory.
GT: Win one for the Gilper!
MW: “Jimmy worked at the aquarium, and he had a lot of ’emergencies’ with the dolphins.”
Crankshat – A simple Pulitzer won’t be enough. Batiuk is after a Double Secret Pulitzer.
GT: “Jefferson leads Milford High, 7-14.”
GAAAAHHH, I didn’t think this strip could possibly get any more clueless, and I was so very, very wrong.
[bangs head on desk until unconscious]
Frazz: I feel like maybe CPS should get involved?
Luann: If only Tiffany lived on a college campus where she can meet a lot of different guys. Instead, she’s just locked in to the vanishingly small number of dudes(?) in the cast.
CS: And the community center is saved!
9CL: Brooke didn’t want to ruin the joke by showing them playing Scrabble. You just have to infer it from the scintillating dialogue.
Zits: I’m sure your English class would appreciate the cat erotica.
FC: “No, Jeffy. It’s probably just sausages and pickles for you.”
BROKE: AI doll without a soul
WOKE: Magic doll that will eat your soul
Luann: Are we looking at examples of hydrocephaly and microcephaly? Boy opposites do attract!
C’shaft: I notice Les hasn’t bothered to show up to the counter protest. He really is letting everyone else deal with the shitstorm he started, isn’t he?
Dustin: “Tormenting people is the only joy in my miserable life, you know that.”
JP: Man, no wonder Declan has a history of scamming his own family. His mom’s the biggest pushover this side of a Mary Worth woman.
Luann: “I’m sorry, but I’m dating a person I absolutely cannot stand and I cannot break up with them for any reason whatsoever.”
SH: Ewww, pinot noir with overtones of armpit.
GA: Magic and AI? Why, it’s Marvel’s “Wandavision Babies”, now on Disney+!
Gil Thorp: “Get out there and win one for the Giller!” “Coach Thorp fishes?”
“I’m not only smarter, but more intelligent…because, you know, those are different things!”
GT: Perhaps the player in panel 1 is struggling out there because she’s a girl? Meanwhile, Coach Cami looks like she’s having a serious hemorrhoid attack in panel 2, which has caused her to grow a moustache in panel 3. Good Lord, what a dumpster fire this strip is.
FC: “If you want to get it up you will.”
Pluggers: You’re a Plugger if you have to make your own typewriter ribbon because the general store doesn’t carry it anymore, and it’s messy as hell.
Gasoline Alley: I for one am here for giant mecha-suit battles between cursèd dolls and futuristic-adjacent action figures! (Especially if it results in the destruction of Gasoline Alley and death of all its inhabitants, that’s important to say.)
@I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV: Walt Wallet lurks in the background yelling “The End Times! The End Times! Thank the Lord God Almighty, the End Times are here!”
It’s going to be devastating when they have to break the news to Jay Scarborough’s wife, Miki Brzezinski.
***
Thanks a lot, Gasoline Alley, now the newspaper editors are going to get some angry letters from some confused Boomers about toys and pronouns.
Mary Worth Mashups: Do any of the missing final panels reflect your feeling on today’s strip?
Pluggers: I call Shenanigans. Pluggers are too poor to afford the periodic lube jobs on their manual typewriters.
Six Chix: Usually people put on makeup to look like EVILSCARYCLOWNS…
@Cleveland Mocks:
GT: Alternately, in panel 2, Coach Cami looks like she couldn’t care less about the game because she’s busy practicing for the Valley Conference Air Guitar Championships.
@Cleveland Mocks: That’s how they might write the score in the effete, degenerate soccer leagues of Europe, but this is American football–wait, what happened to the coach’s hair????
That was me, sorry.
Mary Worth: Of course Estelle was married before and widowed. Estelle is a wealthy, genteel widow of a certain age. She was married to a rich man who gave her a splendid life of travel and nothing-but-the-best. She burdened herself with Wilbur and when that mess was over, looked for love online, meeting many silverfox.com creeps.
Gotta say, I’m with the cat that’s angrily hissing at Arty. Intelligent robots are no good, we all know this.
Also new Gil Thorp looks like crap, sorry.
You’re a Plugger if you still use the term “word-processor”.
Gasoline Alley: In my headcanon, those terrifying children are wizened elves from the Feywild masquerading as kids. Their “doll” and “AI” are still more spirits who’ve come to plague Gertie. Seriously, look at, um, the kid on the left’s eyes. They’re like a doll’s eyes and she’s literally carrying a doll to help illustrate that fact!
Wait, do these kids have names? Have they stolen those memories, too? Will they leave me with nothing?!
Scary stuff and just in time for Halloween! Thanks Gasoline Alley!
Dick Tracy – They are going to somehow pull something dumb like use a mirror reflection of the other Scarborough brother to open the phone, aren’t they?
Gasoline Alley – Gasoline Alley was originally mostly an automobile-based strip, so maybe they are simultaneously getting back to their roots and moving forward by having automation and AI become the focus moving forward. I look forward to how AI can produce scrapbooks of your life with shocking intrusiveness!
Gil Thorp – With a loss to Jefferson, the corrupt justice system of Milford will release the star players from the juvenile detention system on the condition that they keep Milford in playoff contention.
Mary Worth – “Jimmy and I were living in New York in September 2001, and were about to head upstate for our anniversary vacation, but he said he just had to pop into the office at the top floor of the North Tower of the World Trade center…”
RMMD-“And I’m hoping that the problem doesn’t get bigger if you don’t accept my terms.”
MW-And cue the flashback that will bore even Mary.
FC-After the birth of you four Daddy doesn’t eat as much clams as he used to.
@Baja Gaijin: The last two options work for me.
Next on Six Chix’ production of Steven King’s “It” — Sandwich Chick kills her sandwich boyfriend and is wearing its lettuce as a bra!
MW/HC: “My late husband Jimmy was a workaholic, but it was one failed business after another. ‘No one wants to buy cologne from a frog!’ I’d tell him, and he’d just stare blankly back.”
GA: Arty wants to be referred to as “he”, I presume his foot is positioned to block the view of his anatomical correctness.
Gasoline Alley-“I brought my doll Ida Noe to offer the kittens as sacrifices to.”
@But What Do I Know?: Thanks for letting us know. *Day proceeding*
@taig: I’m sure your English class would appreciate the cat erotica.
____________________________
— Lillian McCrankshaftneighhbor to Les Moore at the grand opening ceremony of the Cat Erotica section at The Villiage Booksmith.
@Philip: @Philip:
Dick Tracy – They are going to somehow pull something dumb like use a mirror reflection of the other Scarborough brother to open the phone, aren’t they?
That would be my guess. Either from the portrait or the cadaver itself.
GT: I knew the school district was hurting for money, but they can’t afford jersey numbers? Time for another fun fund raiser!
Is it wrong of me to be happy the protesters in Crankshaft now know the next set of houses and businesses they can burn down?
Luann: THIRD BASE!!!
CS: ‘Free Read People Freely’? What the heck is that supposed to mean?
JP: Whoa, haven’t we seen that wizened scowl before? Declan Mom isn’t Diane Keaton! She’s Blythe Danner/CIApril’s Mom! Get outta there Ronnie! Save yourself! (Neddy can stay and get her neck snapped, that’s fine.)
@Cleveland Mocks: I’m pretty sure that’s supposed to be Token Native American Leo Atazhon (sp?). Not sure if that’s supposed to be Token Transgender Character Tobias behind them, though. How do you manage to make Gil Thorp characters even more generic?
CS: How many people can we get into this scene before somebody realizes they should have just called the school board about the banned book, or called the police about the angry mob or either of the two arsons?
GA: Those AI devices look way more human than those alleged children. At least they look like something a human would build or draw.
MW: The only previous discussion of Estelle’s late husband that I remember was when Mary was trying to foist off Libby on her. Estelle said she liked cats but never was able to have one when married because her husband didn’t like them. I assume he must have been a Bad Sort. Or maybe he pretended to be allergic, like Doctor Jeff.
Trust Dick Tracy to give us a scenario that pushes the very boundaries of the Fourth Amendment and attorney-client privilege by asking whether a dead man has any right to privacy, and whether a bullet-riddled body counts as an automatic crime-fraud exemption. I look forward to Tracy somehow testifying before the Supreme Court after crippling the bailiff who tried to throw him out because ‘this Court doesn’t take testimony, detective.’
“I did what had to be done. You robed bastard have no idea what it’s like on the street. In fact, in those robes, you look like the Robe Gang. Maybe it’s time for me to right-size the Court.”
A&J: A nice Kris Kristofferson tribute yesterday and today. There are enough great songs for this to go on all week.
What I learned from Gil Thorp today: Coaching doesn’t actually make any difference, except perhaps to inspire/spur/harangue the players to try harder. If they actually try harder on their own, they don’t need a coach there.
GA – Mis-pronouning a robot, huh? Not very woke of you.
MW: There isn’t any way that Estelle’s former husband died in an interesting way right?
And to be clear, when she was talking about the things they had in common it was the workaholic thing and not the late thing? That would at least explain quite a bit
GT – Is it just me or is the new artist unsuited for depicting sports action? Thoughts?
DT – “Jay Scarborough. One of the notorious Scar Brothers.” “Didn’t he used to run around with Bertha Butt? One of the Butt Sisters?”
MW – “I hardly ever saw Jimmy! He spent all his time either working at his job for the Daily Planet or palling around with Superman!”
Don Abundio, translated:
“Pfui! I’m not capturing your personality, sir”
“Would you mind a change of location?”
“No, not at all!”
“Yeah! Keep scowling just like that!”
The way the score is written is @Cleveland Mocks: Yeah, I’m not as much bothered by the fact that new Gil Thorp looks like it was created using CAD Pro, it’s how they wrote the score. This is going to ruin my day.
GT: “Guys! Where are you going? The stadium is over there! Why are they running towards the practice field? Are they going to the parking lot?”
@Baja Gaijin:
Ha haaa, #3 does it for me, Baja!
FC: Bil needed at least a dozen raw bluepoints to have any shot at an erection.
DT: The facial curtain remains drawn…is the big reveal happening tomorrow? Introducing the famous lady chief detective, Dickless Tracy.
6Cx: You can get bad infections from those nose rings. I hope kids are taking note.
@Batiuk’s Attic:
Also, halftime is one word, not two. Sheesh!
MW – “Let me tell you about my previous marraige. Jimmy was also very dedicated to his job. Why, he was out day and night, rain or shine, visiting neighborhood businesses for which his firm provided “protection.” If it wasn’t that, his boss, Guido the Undertaker (such funny nicknames those guys all had!) was calling Jimmy in the middle of the night, needing him to dash off to “fix” this or that. Yes, Jimmy was a workaholic right up until the day he vanished without a trace! Sammy the Leg told me Jimmy “went into the witness protection program,” which is strange. I wonder what it was he witnessed?”
“Well, Stella, if you’re looking for a man who will pay more attention to you, can I recommend who rarely leaves his apartment, works for a newspaper so he might be unemployed any day now, and will stand outside your window just staring up at it longingly?”
Six Chix –
Reality is so unreal
Like walking up a flight of stairs that lead nowhere
Swimming in mashed potatoes
Where’s the gravy, Baby?
If you would like to make a call
please hang up and dial again
A bunch of balloons
A funny clown
Is the circus in town?
The End
— Chicky Baby, in Pee-Wee’s Playhouse
Crankshaft-“In the end we’ll only fight to preserve the books we like and let the others burn.”
@Baja Gaijin: re mashups: It’s great to see Li’l Abner! (swoon) Did he ever go by “Jimmy?” Estelle was a lucky woman!
From the linked Wikipedia article on Boris Arson: “[Boris] had Mary call Tracy to the hideout, but Tracy came prepared with a police squad and Boris was arrested.”
This seems like… never a great plan? “I called the cop to my hideout and he showed up with cops”?
love is… having a weird relationship with a flower.
FG: Sojas is having a really weird allergic reaction to Mountain Dew.
FG: A lot of people would rather drink Ming’s blood than Mountain Dew.
MW: It’ll be interesting to see how June Brigham will depict a younger Estelle in this flashback. It’ll probably be like those flashback episodes of Bonanza, where they just died Lorne Greene’s hair jet black.
Dick Tracy: I like the fact that Dick is so shrouded in shadow that he needs to be depicted with pure-black ink, and yet his hat and billowing trenchcoat are as brightly banana-yellow as ever. And also the fact that the “notorious Scar brothers” are lawyers — the worst crooks there are, according to our heroes! — but that any privileged communications that might be on their phones are fair game as long as Face ID is working. (Also, was “Scarborough Law” an ’80s TV show about ’40s lawyers? Only David E. Kelley knows for sure, and he’s too busy writing limited-run streaming series based on best-selling novels to say anything about anything.)
Dennis the Menace Spanish to English.
@astroboy: I tried to give Merrill gentle hints on BSKY like “5 hurdlers in 2 lanes is a problem.” She blocked me. Whigham never quite got things right, but her dedication to things like 12 foot tall breakdancing on a kickoff return, no numbers on jerseys, and never learning, is a pity, because the non-sports art is kind of refreshing.
@Guillermo el chiclero: #77: I meant dyed. Stupid, lousy spell check!
@31 Baja Gaijin:
I feel somewhat ambivalent toward today’s Mary Worth but it’s good to see Li’l Abner again.
Baja, it’s best you stay out of Aunty Acid‘s office.
GA: I suppose it makes sense that the cat wouldn’t like Arty, but…it’s ok with the possessed doll that talks? I thought animals were supposed to be able to sense supernatural horrors. I guess maybe it’s just getting thrown off by how much all the humans around it look like possessed dolls that can talk too.
Bliss: A sign you have mice.
MW: If this is a nod to Airplane!, we’ll return from Estelle’s unsolicited flashback to find Mary’s feet dangling from the ceiling.
GT: The colorist is doing a lot of heavy lifting in this strip now.
Baby Blues: Uranus isn’t the eighth planet, Daryl! And unlike the planet, it’s quite gaseous.
Ripley’s:
The groundhog had pooped and peed all over the prizes.
GT: Coach Ochoa, talking to himself, says, “We can do this!” as his team is already running out onto the field. Come on! Did Knute Rockne tell his team to win one for the Gipper as an afterthought, while they were running out of the locker room? That was your best shot at getting those butterfingered pantywaists to play some football, and you muffed it!
FC – One would think that by now the Keanes would have learned to leave Jeffy at home when they go to a fancy restaurant. Not only does he say or do something stupid, he’s also an appetite killer for the other diners.
JP – “We?” You have a mouse in your pocket?
(What Mr. Jive always says)
6Chix – She forgot to take off her clown nose.
Gasoline Alley – The Devil Doll from Trilogy of Terror thinks that Ida Noe is the most terrifying thing he’s ever seen.
Bliss – Here come the protesters, demanding that Fahrenheit 451 be removed.
Ripley’s – It took more than $50 in quarters to remove the groundhog.
That Is Priceless – Scratchy, did you see this?
@Baja Gaijin: Mashups – The second one somewhat, and the third one definitely.
@89 I speak Jive: That is Priceless
Scratchy may need a link.
@Sequitur: Thank you. I can’t do links without messing up everyone’s phones.
Rex Morgan – Yeah, Lou – I wanted to check – is it OK if I do a cover of “She Got The Ring, I Got The Finger”?
DT – And real stand up guys can go down. Just look at Michael Richards….
GA – Even robots bust your chops over personal pronouns….
GT – Do it for the Giller….
MW – Jimmy was super dedicated to his meth use….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
MW: Hey, I wonder what Ian’s up to? Something totally wacky, I’m sure. Cut to Ian. Or anyone. Please.
GT: Speaking of sucking ass, I hadn’t seen the new artist’s work yet. Jesus Christ.
@I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV: @I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV:
“Gasoline Alley: I for one am here for giant mecha-suit battles between cursèd dolls and futuristic-adjacent action figures! (Especially if it results in the destruction of Gasoline Alley and death of all its inhabitants, that’s important to say.)”
The creators of Gasoline Alley binged the Skibidi Toilet web series and have decided an a new path toward relevance for readers under the age of 85
Gasoline Alley: Oh, man. That cat is really mad. It’s gonna have a kitten!
Oh, wait…
Dirk Twacy Hollistic Defective: “Say, Tracy, did you ever notice my chin looks like a butt from this angle?”
@White Rabbit: Maybe Coach “Not An Anagram” Ochoa is talking to the other coach. “We can do this! We can make all the players feel horribly guilty, especially if they lose! Gil would have wanted it that way.”
PHANTOM:. See TG for what might happen if you knock with a rock on a space capsule.
GA:. Glad Josh brought up the impending War of the Dolls. I’ve got my money on Ida Noe.
LUANN:. They both handled the missed kiss maturely. Who knew?