Mild Saturday enjoyment
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Shoe, 10/19/24
To be sure, the human heart is a mystery, and nobody can say why anyone does anything, really, but that hasn’t stopped me from wondering why exactly Shoe brought back Muffy Hollandaise, a beloved (?) character from the ’80s or maybe the ’90s, couldn’t really tell you for sure but it’s been a long time, trust me. Anyway, since like 60% of Shoe strips are just characters saying generic gags to one another that don’t really pertain to them as distinct individuals, maybe the team decided they needed one more recurring character shape to be one of the gag-sayers, just to mix things up further. And, if that gag-saying character shape was a sexy bird-woman with a big juicy ass (as amply demonstrated in panel two), who’s going to complain? Certainly not all you perverts who read my website, that’s for sure.
Gasoline Alley, 10/19/24
Man, I kind of love how Ida Noe is losing it as she gets eclipsed by this fuckin’ robot. Arty’s all like, “Let’s go to space! I’m going to help you cheat in school,” and Ida Noe, who is literally a doll animated by some kind of evil spirit from the depths of hell, has to say “Uh, uh, let’s not be hasty! Have you talked to your parents? You don’t want them to worry!”
Family Circus, 10/19/24
I really enjoy how Billy is physically restraining Jeffy here. “No, you don’t understand, he’s grilling. It’s … too dangerous.”
68 replies to “Mild Saturday enjoyment”
Mary Worth Mashups: Which dream is Estelle’s worst nightmare?
FC:
“Billy, why is Daddy usin’ that spatula to toss prosperous members of the German bourgeoisie?”
“He’s flippin’ burghers!”
RMMD:
“Folks, we’d like to start our set out with a contemplative little sumpin’ that lauds the intellectual satisfaction that comes with bein’ inquisitive. ‘And I’m proud to be an aska from Nebraska….’ “
FC:
“I know why Dad’s outside with that silly chef’s hat of his. He’s toquing up!”
“Dad is not a real cook, he’s just pretending to be one and everyone is too polite to tell him the truth. Mama says that’s exactly the same deal with him and fatherhood”
GA:
The “plot arc” here makes that of the late Robin Williams’ 1998 bomb What Dreams May Come seem rational by comparison.
Shoe: Yes but people stopped throwing rice at weddings… because of birds! Dried rice supposedly expanded in birds’ stomachs after they ate it and killed them. Which, oh yeah, turned out to be a myth (although it could explain why this bird lunch counter doesn’t seem to serve food). It is true that sometimes wedding guests slipped on the rice and hurt themselves. So, heck, do what you want. Dane and Cheyenne are jerks anyhow.
Family Circus: Daddy’s “cook’s costume” is actually just an apron and the hat from the Pillsbury Doughboy outfit he wore one Halloween, and then kept around because it made Thel hot for some reason. But he still finds it humiliating to do the laugh, no matter how many belly pokes she gives him.
Pluggers: We’re supposed to find it funny that this plugger keeps having to resubmit his medical history — but, really, who would want to enter a 236-page document on their phone?
Family Circus : since when is Bil Keane an Ed Crankshaft/Ted Forth-grade menace when he grills?
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Gasoline Alley : I like the very clumsily added-in number sign in that speech bubble, to indicate Arty isn’t saying A.I. twice, but that his rocket is called A-1.
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Gil Thorp : “Flying Nimbus. Then, if THAT works, we go with a Kamehameha. But if the first play fails, we go with a Spirit Bomb.”
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Six Chix : …there’s something tragic about pining for someone your entire life, and only ending up together when you’re decrepit and dying and rotting and there’s barely any time left for a relationship…
and hopefully Bianca Xunise doesn’t separate them yet again by taking one away to wear as a hat!@Baja Gaijin:
These are always riotously funny, but on this one in particular, Edgar Allan Poe would be proud of you.
FC-Oh no! Daddy will be engulfed by the cliche of the exploding grill.
MW-Saving the big dream sequence for Monday.
RMMD-“And I assume you’ll finish. I’ve had many groupies who did the same thing,” Mud says.
Crankshaft-“I probably shouldn’t have also set fire to your steps.”
GA: When Alice went to Wonderland, it all turned out to be a dream, but she didn’t have the evil A.I. to contend with, so, Ida noe…
FC: Wait til the kids go to visit Great-Uncle Crankshaft.
GA: Well, the Gasoline Alley team have got at least one aspect of AI spot-on – those are some totally fucked-up fingers.
Shoe: I relate to today’s Shoe on a meta level. I write quizzes and sometimes when I hit really bad writer’s block, I go through my kitchen cupboards to see if some random food packet sparks an idea. I like to think I’m better at hiding my creative process than this though.
I don’t even know the characters’ names since it’s Gasoline Alley, and I was born after prohibition, but good lord, look at the blonde girl’s face in panel 1. That is 10000% the face of someone who has just plunged their knife into one more victim.
That face says: “This one thought they were going to get away. But oh, they didn’t. Ohhhhhh, they didn’t.”
MW:
“I have to say, this extremely comfortable mattress has somehow succeeded against all odds in transporting me to the Fifth Dimension.”
“No. Don’t say it, Dream Self.”
“Yep. I’ve got the ‘Bedding Well‘ Blues!”
JP: Well, Ronnie has a difficult conversation ahead. Neddy, YOU were going to pull out Declan’s tongue the minute you see him, remember?
Luann: Bad Evansii, bad! Puddles is supposed to be the one character we like unconditionally!
MW: Geez, the bee grinding. I was hoping for some sort of preview of Eshtelle’s dream today. My money is still on some unholy combination of all the Wilbur dreams/fantasies we’ve had up until now. Eshtelle won’t get a word in edgewise!
RMMD: Shorty and Beanpole, the Roots County Years.
Shoe – The rice expanded in their stomachs and they exploded. Will be wild…boy, I guess….
GA – Artificial…yes. Intelligence…that would be a no….
FC – The dreaded Kiss the Cock apron. Thel’s gonna have a hard time keeping anything down….
Adios Amigos, DJ,
GA: Not every sci fi spaceship can have an iconic name like the Millennium Falcon or USS Enterprise or Serenity, but the “A-1, A#-1” is lacking in effort even by Gasoline Alley standards. What, did the ship registry office require special characters like an internet log-in?
CS: Good thing Batiuk didn’t just do a story about Lillian being terrorized by people destroying her home, or this would be in extremely bad taste.
DT: No idea why Mirrorboy took off his coat after escaping while wearing it. Hopefully this is the end of this, and we’re not about to see a week of Dick slogging his way past several articles of Mirrorhead’s discarded clothing until finding him in his secret sewer hideout, stretched out on a bed of filth wearing nothing but his mask and a smile. Though at least Dick would be able to look into the eyes of his favorite person in the world while fucking Mirrorface.
RMMD: I apologize for my mistake yesterday. See, when I’m not reading stuff like this, I often read good comics where exposition and dialogue and composition and character body language and actions have meaning. But this is Rex Morgan, where the things that characters say and do exist only to fill the space inside the panel boxes and serve absolutely no other purpose whatsoever. Mud’s fine! Nothing was wrong at all! And today the panel boxes got filled again! And Terry Beatty will be able to cash another paycheck for this! Hooray!
@Baja Gaijin:
Ha haaa, excellent candidates, Baja, but Wilpierre’s lolling tongue puts #2 over the top.
MW: “Ah, Ed, what a dream you are. Yes, you repeatedly dismissed and ignored me, but it was in such a noble way.”
CS: It’s hard to gauge Ed’s asshole-to-moron ratio today. A good case could be made for either 60/40 or 40/60.
FC: When did the Keanes move to rural Idaho?
GA – “You got an A# flying saucer? Bummer, man, my electric zither is a B-natural and it’s a major pain in the ass to retune it.”
Don Abundio, translated:
“My tree is awful sick”
“Who cares, Don Abundio!”
[On tree: PROPERTY OF DON ABUNDIO]
“You hired a surgeon for that stupid tree, but you won’t even give your staff a measly cost-of-living increase”
“Yeah?”
“That reminds me, I brought some peanuts for the squirrels!”
@Peanut Gallery: Thank you.
Shoe – ♪ Little ditty ’bout Dane and Cheyenne
Two party-loving birds grab the gusto while they can
Cheyenne gon’ be a life-list star
Dane’s poopin’ all over somebody’s car
@Peanut Gallery: Huh. Sometimes you can’t improve upon the original. Today’s Don Abundio comes to teach us that Abundio gives his tree a better health plan than he gives his butler, who never merited the two aspirin.
@richardf8: I can just imagine Abundio’s reaction to the butler asking for time off because he has a broken arm. “You still got the other arm, don’t you?”
FC: From where is Bil walking? My normal grilling routine is to make about two dozen trips between the kitchen and the grill, but Bil is shown coming from the fence. What’s over there? Maybe he had to answer the call of nature, or more likely, he’s talking to that neighbor lady again.
Shoe: “Dane and Cheyenne”, huh? Is that a man and a woman? Or two women? It could even be two men. I guess the names Pat and Chris are a little too common in the bird world.
JP: Good grief, do something, strip. We’re back to endless talking heads. One person posted that in this strip we get a day or two of minor plot advancement, then about seven days of talking about it. They may have been generous in the plot/talk ratio.
GA: All aboard! It’s A#1 to Portland on number 19.
Shoe: “And they didn’t invite me? I’m unfriending them ASAP!”
I kind of love how in Gasoline Alley we’ve got a demon-possessed talking doll and a small sentient robot yet the scariest things currently in the strip are the young school girls’ faces. Those eyes paired with those smiles are like if there was a Kenneth Copeland nightmare paralysis demon.
GT: Why is the opposing player in panel two wearing a baseball umpire’s chest protector? Why is the Milford player wearing Jennifer Beal’s leggings from “Flashdance”?
RMMD:
“How’s ‘Two Sons from Tucson’ sound?”
“I’d rather start with our adaptation of the Dave Mason classic, later released by Delaney & Bonnie as well, ‘Only Juneau and I Know’ !”
RMMD: I’m ready to see how Rene Belluso is doing in the hoosegaw.
@Cleveland Mocks:
Rural Idaho is redundant
MW: I am so goddamn sick of the fucking deeply unfunny, uncompelling dream sequences in every goddamn storyline in this strip. I know it hasn’t started yet but this is an obvious segue to one.
GA: Oh, it’s just like “The Nightingale,” only instead of natural simplicity being overshadowed by flashy but transient artifice it’s a magical abomination versus a technical abomination.
Gasoline Alley: “Well, my daddy lets me drive his UFO.” [blank stares] “He picks me up wherever he goes.” [confused looks] “I was the Cramps’ drummer between Pam Balam and Nick Knox, work with me, goddammit.”
Shoe: Not a joke, but an incredible simulation.
Gasoline Alley: Y’know what? Sure. Fine. Let’s throw in a fucking robot that will take these kids off to space. Why the fuck not. It’s not anymore baffling than the kidnapper bear or the time travel doll or whatever the shit else this dumbass comic has done in it’s centuries long run. Whatever.
Family Circus: “That means a new blood sacrifice is required to shield the Kompound from government interlopers and their evil machines! Not it!”
RMMD: So Mud played an electric guitar on his first set (Despite being depicted playing an acoustic guitar in all of his previous strip appearances) and now he’s switched back to acoustic.
FC: Wait a second. Don’t the Keane’s canonically live in Arizona somewhere near Phoenix? I’ve been to Phoenix. It’s an effin’ desert. There’s no landscape that verdant there unless they live in a well-maintained public park kept that way through wasteful use of precious water resources.
C’shaft: Now that we’ve gotten over the very serious property damage done by strawman censors, we can get back to the comical property damage done by the resident hateful old man.
Dustin: Oh, if only the restaurant had a list of the wines that they serve, complete with pricing for both a single glass and the entire bottle. Alas, such things do not exist in this crazy modern world.
GT: “No, I mean are you sure about giving our play names Harry Potter references? You KNOW what Rowling would say about Tobias, right?”
JP: Kat is wisely staying out of this drama.
Phantom: “Gee, kid, I’d love to, but Mr. Mollusk just dropped a ton of money into my re-election campaign so…”
@Guillermo el chiclero: It’s pretty normal for artists to switch instruments (I once saw Bill Bragg waste at least an hour of a three-hour-show going back and forth between acoustic and electric guitars), but playing without strings is a new one.
JP: “Yes, it will be a tough conversation with Kat when you finally ask her how she knows my fiancé Declan and what’s his backstory and why he was invited to your wedding. What?? Your conversation won’t be all about ME? What else can you two have to talk about?”
FC: “Hide, Jeffy! You remember what happened to PJ the last time!”
Billy knows Jeffy goes apeshit on their father when he attempts to grill so he’s going to try to hold his brother back to keep his tiny fists of rage from bruising dad’s aging Millennial thighs.
Gasoline Alley – Ye gods, those children are horrifying. I’m thankful when Josh features this strip, because seeing it reminds me why I don’t follow it.
6Chix – Rotting pumpkins are a Tuesday Chick thing.
Frazz – Caulfield’s pretentious blathering brings up the usual question: why doesn’t the school come up with a Individual Education Plan that puts the insufferable little asshole in AP classes? Then he wouldn’t be “bored” ( the ongoing excuse for his disruptive behavior), and the rest of the class could learn without him disrupting every class.
Pluggers – I call BS. They get paper forms that they laboriously fill out.
FC- we’re not hearing Bil call out, ” Boys? Come out here, I need your help! I promise it won’t hurt”
@popomatic:
Rex Morgan M.D.: “Hold my beer.”
Never thought I’d see Gasoline Alley make a storyline about how it’s wrong to use ChatGPT to cheat on your homework
@Guillermo el chiclero: I’m glad Beatty remembered to draw a damn amplifier on the stage during the first set. That was gonna be a VERY quiet performance if Mud didn’t have anything to plug the electric into. And Truck insisted he switch to acoustic — back at the 1965 Newport Folk Festival when Pete Seeger tried to take an axe to Dylan’s electrical cords, Truck took another axe and ran straight at Mike Bloomfield.
@ectojazzmage: re: GA: Now just calm down. Every day we focus on these kids is another day that Joel and Rufus and Chef Meowrice are well offstage.
A Plugger entering information to send on his phone? Get real. If he’s actually sending it electronically, he’d be using a huge console desktop computer like Mary Worth used to have. More likely he’s “submitting” it into a mailbox in an envelope. Phones are only used to call someone if you have car trouble, or to answer spam calls.
@7 BigTed: on Pluggers: You’re deluded if you think pluggers even remember their entire health history. All that’s going in their MyChart pre-visit questionnaires is “Fuck you, I already told you a bajillion times you stupid fuckwad of a computer.” Then they go to clear out a Golden Corral dessert bar.
@15 The Quiet Man: The mashups in comment #1 are some previews of Estelle’s dreams, in my opinion.
SHOEL Muffy: “You mean those two party animals”
Roz: “Well, yeah. They’re birds dear, remember.”
(Besides, the actual party animal of this strip is whoever’s drawing pictures of full-bottomed “sexy” bird-women wearing the Miss Buxley collection.)
@I speak Jive: re Pluggers: “They get paper forms that they laboriously fill out.”
And then complain about how small the lines and spacing are. I see we had the same idea about Pluggers and their medical forms. You would think they would have enough practice by now.
FC:
“Dad stole that spatula from our next door neighbor Bo Donaldson. I’m going to try to make him give it back, Jeffy.”
“Billy, don’t be a hero!”
@Bob Tice: Don’t say it
Word.
“Those two crazy party animals”
Now I want a comic like Pluggers, except instead of Pluggers the cast are wild drunken fratboys.
Or really any other type of personality… nerds, goths… we could use something else that isn’t “Pluggers are fat” for the 1000th time.
Billy is going about this all wrong…he should be telling Jeffy that the grill is a flying saucer and that Jeffy should board it before Daddy pours on the fuel. Remember when Mr Crankshaft down the street launched HIS saucer into orbit?
Family Circus: “And Mommy’s wearin’ the sailor suit! Wow, our parents have lame kinks.”
FC: This just happened to be the warm October day that Neighbor-lady decided to sunbathe in her back yard. A distracted Bil forgot that he put the grill near the only tree in their yard, the one with the dried, falling leaves. A sudden autumn breeze kicked up the flames from the blazing burgers he had neglected to turn…
It was a day that Billy and Jeffy, miraculously safe on the porch, would never forget.
@The Rambling Otter: “Those two crazy party animals”
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And with those words sparked the landmark lawsuit Martin & Aykroyd v. “Shoe”
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Now you know the REST of the story…..
@Anonymous: When I was a kid, my Dad used to grill steak a lot.
It was always tough and chewy, so I grew to hate steak.
Then I try one at a restaurant, it’s soft and tender, and delicious!
Realizing that I’ve been eating steak wrong all of these years. But in the end, despite knowing how good it can taste I still can’t stand steak.
Also, last steak restaurant I went to, had a “Blue Meat” steak, it was advertised as cold and seared as little as possible.
I wanted to try it just to see, but my entire family talked me out of it, saying that it was borderline raw and could make me sick.
Then why have it on the menu…?
Even more annoying than Ted saying “sweetie”? Try “we good”.
Arrrrgh.
DOLLY: And grandma is wearing her dead-drunk old lady in a housecoat stooped against a dumpster in a Bayonne, New Jersey alleyway costume!
@The Rambling Otter: It’s a great North American tradition: the father, who otherwise never cooks, grills. Add how difficult it is to grill foods properly, and you get “fun” meals of meat that’s burnt on the outside and raw on the inside.
@Bob Tice: @The Rambling Otter:
Speaking of both comments…
If Pluggers shifted to another stereotype, such as goths.
How about:
“You know you’re a Goth, when if being called raven mad has an entirely different meaning”
@Peanut Gallery: Are you sure the punchline Isnt “Boss, please stop feeding the tree my Viagra™, Can’t you see my balls are already drooping to my knees!”
@Rube: Yeah, my Dad rarely cooks, only because he wasn’t exactly allowed to. When he cooked non-grill meals, he makes a TON of portions. He once made Shrimp Fettucine Alfredo, so much of it we had leftovers for almost two weeks. And another time with cabbage rolls, again a million of them.
@The Rambling Otter: Then why have it on the menu…?
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Remember the guy at the next table with the weird hair and wearing the tuxedo with one large button?
@The Rambling Otter: “You know you’re a Goth,
_________________
When you’re A Goth, you’re a Goth all the way/from your first funny cigarette to your last dying day.
Phantom: Oh no! There might be consequences to sabotaging your employer, even if he’s a designated villain!