Spooky, soapy, etc.
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Gil Thorp, 10/31/24
Oh, huh, Gil Thorp as a vampire is gonna be a cherished annual tradition now? I’m not complaining, mind you. Far from it! I do question some of the vampire world-building here, though. Why would you bother getting into a sword fight if you were a vampire? No metal blade can harm you! You could simply knock the mortal’s weapon aside with your bare hand and begin drinking his delicious blood.
Mary Worth, 10/31/24
Hey, remember the whole plot where Mary briefly got into the wild world of competitive cake baking, with a friend who turned out to be into her, sexually? She’s put those days behind her now, but it’s nice that she’s providing free (?) services for Ed and Estelle’s bare bones wedding. It gives her an opportunity to show off her skills, and also self-aggrandize by imagining baking a single cake was just as complex an undertaking as the painstaking and annoying emotional process we’ve been subjected to throughout Ed and Estelle’s relationship. Why, she doesn’t even have to deal with a transfer!
Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/31/24
As a child growing up in Buffalo, I experienced this disappointment year after year — and only much later, as an adult, did it occur to me that I should’ve come up with costume ideas that could accommodate or possibly even integrate a heavy coat. It was then that I took to heart the lesson that Rex Morgan is trying to teach us, which is that kids are actually pretty stupid.
Gearhead Gertie, 10/31/24
Gertie, there is no part of the Halloween mythos where you make children answer questions about your special interest before you give them candy! Please, why are you doing this??? Just dress up as a NASCAR driver and call it a day!!!!!!
172 replies to “Spooky, soapy, etc.”
Mary Worth Mashup: Halloween Horror!
Dale Earnhardt, duh. I’ll have a full-size Snickers, please.
Richard Petty. Grow up, Gertie.
MW: Looking at the hefty amount of gray glop left over in that bowl, I assumed the batter was made with oatmeal. Then I re-examined that finished, hard cake with its crisp edges and realized it must be made with Bondo.
Does Gearhead Gertie actually have an audience? People who read it and enjoy it and can’t wait for the next episode? Or does Mike Smith have some really compromising info on someone in the syndicate, and they have to “indulge” him.
GT I’m not really into Dracula lore, but was he really known for swordfighting? I suppose he wasn’t really into big neon signs either, so I guess we can let it slide.
MW Now wait a minute, we were all here for the snorefest that preceded this strip, so presumably that ‘difficult road’ took place sometime in those weeks that we just flipped past? Did Estelle have to fight a tiger? Rescue hostages from a a skyscraper held by terrorists? Defeat Count Thorpula? Sadly we’ll never know.
RMMD: Sorry folks, we just dont have the budget to draw up some children’s Halloween costumes. Please feel free to imagine your own costumes in their place.
GG YEAH! 3 FOREVER! TO HELL WITH 2 AND 4! 5 CAN FUCK RIGHT OFF!!!
GG: Smart-ass tricksters yell “Ken Schrader” and run like hell.
@Charterstoned: No adhesives required when you bake it for ‘several weeks’
@Baja Gaijin: Jesus can you put a trigger warning in that???
Gearhead Gertie has discovered a way to get free toilet paper. ? ?
Gertie: Kids do not trick or treat with brown paper bags, it’s completely impractical and they would almost certainly fall apart immediately. Give the one armed ghost child some candy!
What if Gertie’s actually a die-hard Cale Yarborough fan, and her “3 Forever” shirt is in fact the Halloween costume she wears as an ironic slam on the Intimidator? That’s some eclipse-level shade, there.
MW: “Time to cart my culinary creation to the joyful joining of my faithful friends!”
DtM: Impossible to believe that Dennis doesn’t grasp the Trick or Treat paradigm. I mean, vengeful mayhem? Totally in his wheelhouse.
GT: Count Thorpula has a personality. That’s how you can tell it’s a costume.
GERTIE: This strip serves to remind me to give thanks that I have no one in my life who is relentlessly obsessed, to the exclusion of all else, with ONE LOUSY THING.
MW:
This is what it sounds like/
When doves fly
FLAP FLAP FLAP FLAP
— Prince (adapted)
GT: Last year established that Count Thorpula drinks the blood of his victims to erotically enslave them into his harem. Just saying, if Coach Van Helsing here thought the worst that could happen here was mere death in battle, he might have another thing coming. So to speak.
MW: I’m not going to dignify Mary’s delusional internal ramblings with a response, but I would like to know why she still has a large bowl of leftover
paving cementcake batter on her counter long after she has already baked, assembled, frosted, and decorated the cake. Or is that viscous cinereal glop supposed to be frosting despite Mary’s utensils being sparkling clean and said glop not being remotely the same color or texture as the frosting?DT: So, this German-word-for-Kill Organization was founded just a few years after the defeat of a certain European empire and is staffed by sinister Aryan men who make threats in broken English about “fixing” problems with troublesome people by using “xylophone,” a word that sounds awfully similar to the name of a notorious lethal hydrogen cyanide gas. You might as well just go ahead and say it, Costello. This is about as subtle as a wrecking ball wearing a hat, sunglasses, and a fake mustache.*
JP: Thank God Neddy is avoiding dealing with all these difficult and conflict-laden issues with her romantic and professional life, that might have been insufferably interesting to read. Now we can get to the story everyone really wants: Neddy lounging around indefinitely and engaging in self-aware quipping and eyerolling with her mildly annoyed sister. Now that’s storytelling!
Luann: Oh no. The tiny football player no one likes broke up with his cheerleader girlfriend no one likes. Except not really, kind of, maybe. I am beside myself with apathy over this ambiguous and noncommittal development. It’s possible this is leading in to some wacky misunderstandings that totally definitely aren’t ripping off a famous sitcom plot from nearly 30 years ago, but the more likely reason is that Kip the 5’4 college quarterback wants to be indecisively “on a break” simply because the Evanses are utterly incapable of shitting or getting off the pot.
*(Fellow 9CL veterans will note that these shush-and-wink bad guys are depicted as incompetent middle-aged men conducting a sloppy large-scale sneaky infiltration while wearing discount-rack suits. Did this become a trope at some point and I just didn’t notice?)
At first I was taken aback because I thought they’d accidentally attached Gertie’s dialogue to the witch, but no, the witch is telling the ghost to answer correctly, so I guess she’s been through this before. A search for “nascar driver 3” indicates the correct answer is probably Dale Earnhardt, which is probably the answer I would give by virtue of being the only NASCAR driver whose name I know, so this test isn’t quite as bad as it might be.
Gil Thorp:
Hey, at least they didn’t mess up something sports-themed today.
I find it hard to believe that Mary Worth is capable of doing a several-week time skip, considering how they usually spend up to several weeks on a single conversation.
Gil Thorp:
“Let’s illustrate for our readership in today’s installment the propulsive force of a rocket engine and the Commodore who helped normalize trade relations with Japan!”
“What do you mean by that, Count Thorp?”
“ ‘Thrust‘ and ‘Perry‘ !”
GG: What kind of candy do you think she has in that tiny bowl? Probably going to give each child a single piece of generic hard candy. She has no decorations of any kind, not even a pumpkin. It’s fine if you don’t want to participate in Halloween but don’t use it as a way to lure kids to your house to ask them questions about your personal obsession they don’t know or care anything about.
RMMD:
“I’ve got an idea, Johnny! — why don’t we two sullen malcontents audition for starring roles in the Glenwood Players’ forthcoming production of Rebel Without a Cause?”
RMMD — I hear you about the childhood cold weather Halloween experience, Josh, but given that it’s going to be in the eighties in Northeast Megalopolis today, I’d say the times they are a changin’. Not that any of the Morgans would notice, of course. . .
GT: Thorp moonlights as a half-assed Dracula at the local theme park for Halloween. Kids aren’t so much scared as bewildered why Dracula wears baseball spikes.
GG: “Jimmie Johnson!”, said the kid dressed up as a troll.
GT: What’s ironic is this one off Halloween gag is Merrill’s best drawn effort to date.
GT – I Sur (sic), render to no one! You want that fat off your ass – ya gotta exercise….
MW – Yes – Stelle’s marriage will be just like your cake – dry…unsatisfying…hard to swallow….
RMMD – So I guess they are what…minions? And of who…aging Carl Perkins type and Muddy Boots guy?
G-G – I’ve heard of #1 and #2…but #3? Is that where you do #1 and #2 at the same time? That probably happens a lot, just before you crash into the wall….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
MW: No cake transfer needed? So the party will be in Mary’s kitchen, maybe the wedding too! I hope Mary can get Justice Sotomayor again.
Thanks, Josh, for the memories of the cake decorating contest. One of Mary’s finest moments.
Blondie: Robots have been a common kid’s Halloween costume theme since the 1950’s with the popularity of Robbie the Robot which means it’s right on point for Dagwood to be confused by this ‘recent’ trend.
@jroggs: About the trope: Yes, when Garrison Keillor did the Guy Noir stories.
Mary Worth loves weddings but she refuses to commit to Dr Jeff, so these occasions are perfect to live vicariously, or to have your cake and eat it. Of course, this is not ideal for Dr Jeff, who will never taste Mary’s pie
@Baja Gaijin: You know you want him, Baja!
Blondie: Robots have been popular Halloween costumes for nearly a century and the ghost and pirate costumes are also still incredibly common to see every year. Maybe the robot costume is an allegory for Elmo being gay? I’m a “robot” and “proud” of it!
In this suddenly Teri Garr-less world, I demand Gil Thorp abandon its Dracula tradition and start a new one centered around Young Frankenstein! (The horses neigh every time Marty Moon’s name is mentioned.)
“Thorpula?” The face of the castle plainly says “Count Thorp.” Is this a feeble attempt at a sick burn, or did they just not have enough room for his full name?
@BeckoningChasm: Indeed. My little exposure to the strip via here has given me the impression that it is consistently annoying.
@I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV: Seconded!
@But What Do I Know?: It was sure looking that way in the Midwest on Monday, but now my kids have to face damp, breezy, refrigerator temperatures for their candy hunt. Still, previous plans for “over a sweatshirt / long sleeved something” are adjusted to “drape warm / unbuttoned coat so that people can still see your costume!
Also, I see Canadian kids were more realistic than Josh. Childhood costumes in the ‘Peg were selected oversized to fit a whole freakin’ snowsuit under if necessary. Floppy costumes like clown suits were *very* popular. One year, my sister sewed up a big orange bag with head and limb holes, sharpied a face on it, stuffed it with crumpled newspaper, and was the cosiest jackolantern trickortreater ever.
“Thorpula” sounds like a medical device.
***
Don’t worry, kids. As a Canadian who used to have to wear heavy coats and snow boots for Halloween as a child but can now get away with just going outside in a sweater during this time of year, not only is our changing climate going to help in your future costume efforts, its results are going to be scarier than any ghosts or goblins your imagination can dream up! Hooray!
***
Gertie’s in a damned cult.
Mother Goose and Grimm: America might be at the brink of a civil war with the country more divided than almost any other point in our history but I guess it’s still fine to say that French people smell like shit.
MW: SEVERAL WEEKS LATER? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? We were forced to sit through three weeks of “SOB” and Wilbur’s fishy-kissy face and THEN you jump several weeks ahead not giving us any of the emotional payoff or denouement?? Try Moy at the Hague
GT: Based on that list pic, they are fighting to see who tops who. Thorpula surrenders to no one!
Gil Thorp – While fencing might not yet be an approved high school sport outside of Hollywood’s idea of a rich private school, Gil Thorp sticks to the sports theme of his script, even in non-canonical Halloween specials. That’s a commitment you won’t see from Rex Morgan.
Mary Worth – I hope this isn’t a case where the storyline wraps by Saturday and a new one is introduced on Monday. I want a 1980/90s comedy hijinks sort of wedding, where children are trying to get their divorced parents back together (without help from Mary), a man works up the courage to confess his feelings to a longtime crush (a poorly written one-dimensional woman), and Wilbur eats the cake before the cutting ceremony like a poorly behaved St. Bernard.
Rex Morgan, MD – By the time the Morgan kids grow up climate change will ensure October is second summer even in the far northern reach of the continental US. There kids will be fine, unless they need to wear a full body UV blocking suit because of an ozone layer mishap caused by Elon Musk’s Starlink satellite mishaps
Gearhead Gertie – Gertie only gives candy to children making a counter-clockwise circuit around her neighborhood.
HtH: It’s Hagar’s 20th different trial for pillage and rape. He’s soooo bored.
Frazz: Apparently Mrs. Olsen knows what the little shit is referring to, so she’s not so stupid after all, is she, little shit?
MW: “. . . if I do say so myself.”
GT: Hooooookay.
Ed and Estelle are delighted with their wedding cake until they cut into it and discover it’s actually a large pile of blueberry muffins underneath a lot of white fondant.
NEWS FLASH!
The Pulitzer Prize committee has just announced that this year’s Prize for Literature goes to the creators of the comic strip “Hi and Lois.”
In revealing the honor, the committee wrote, “This tour de force rips the veneer off the myth of idyllic suburban family life and exposes the ugly underbelly of angst and despair that permeates the totality of every resident’s existence, and it does so honestly and without the histrionics and self-satisfied sanctimony that infects the work of so many contemporaries.”
Reached for comment, rival cartoonist Thomas Batiuk said, “D’OH!”
MW: Folks, this is just a sneak preview rehearsal of the exuberant routine the Doves o’ Love are plannin’ for the Main Event! Actually, they heard that there might be some rejected cake layers on the ground under Mary’s window and were hoping for some crumbs. Fortunately Mr. Al(l)ora cleaned them up ahead of time, so we don’t have to worry about any Avian intestinal distress to spoil the day. Let the festivities begin!!
Gearhead Gertie should be wearing #43 instead – Petty has more than twice the wins of Earnhardt.
@9 pugfuggly: What part of “horror” do you not understand? It’s right there in the comment!
// Since it doesn’t come through these electrons on screen, I have to state I’m just kiddng with you.
@MAC089: Only if Madeline Kahn can play Mimi!
Damn, now we’ll never get to see a “silver fox” Stell in satin short shorts and thigh high leather boots.
RMMD-Cold outside? Where do you live?
MW-It took Mary several weeks to make that cake. She is such a perfectionist.
Tonio in a Superman T-shirt: “Who is the Man of Steel’s one true pairing?”
Trick-or-treater: “Uh, Wonder Woman?”
Tonio: “Wrong! You still get candy, but unfortunately for you, it’s month-old Ghost Peeps.”
GG – Do we get partial credit if we guess Babe Ruth?
MW-I’m waiting for Wilbur to drunkenly pass out face first into the cake.
@Charterstoned: Only the icing is Bondo, actually. Although for some reason pastry chefs refer to it in this context as ‘fondant’.
@Tabby Lavalamp: “Thorpula” sounds like a medical device.
Or a body part. “Patient has a dislocation of the third lower thorpula, which is causing thorpular spasms.”
MT: Truth is, I’ve felt the same way as Smalls after navigating NOAA’s convoluted website.
Hagar: “The defense and accused rests, your honor.”
I guess they had to make sure readers didn’t assume Hagar was the defense lawyer.
@Banana Jr. 6000: Or perhaps a grilling utensil used for flipping particularly smug meat.
Yesterday the comic daring to venture into heady enemies-to-lovers eroticism was Six Chix, with hot interspecies tortoise-hare negging action. Today we have Dracula/Van Helsing swordfighting roleplay in Gil Thorp. What’s it going to be tomorrow? Personally, my money’s on Rex Morgan (Truck and Mud share a charged moment at the merch table before absconding to the green room for a hatefuck).
FC: I find PJ running away in terror hilarious. I don’t know if that’s a guy thing or a me thing.
There’s a shallow grave out back for the smartass who answered ‘Max Verstappen.’
S4th: Now in the “This Awesome Small Town with the Great College and Store Really Sucks” Phase.
Parnelli Jones or GTFO.
MW: “Estelle had a difficult road getting to the altar!” Almost all of which was caused by you, Mary.
MT: Hint: Campaigning in your home state to get elected to the US Senate gets more votes. This is the electoral equivalent of “Sir, this is an Arby’s”.
Rex Morgan –
I prefer to think that the creators Rex Morgan cleverly dodged a lawsuit from Star Wars, Disney, Marvel, DC, Nintendo, et al. There’s no way those kids aren’t dressed as Spider Man and Wario under those coats.
GT – Count Thorpula, the Thorp-flavored cereal with little marshmallow Thorp bits! It’s fairly disgusting, but still not as bad as Franken Coach or Marty Moon Berry.
DT: So it looks like the “Totten Organization” is a charity riding stables for poverty-stricken little girls. See the horsie peeking through the window?
I’ve always wanted employment at a business where I could answer the telephone with “Yes, that drunk is ours….”
GG – And if you answer incorrectly, she’ll pit-roast you.
Greatest NASCAR driver of all time? *ahem* #24, obviously!!
Don Abundio, translated:
“Abundio’s dancing with Sally”
“He’ll be staring at her navel the whole time, right?”
“Not necessarily”
“He also has a step I call the ‘leg drag'”
MW–OK, we’re jumping to the wedding? I’m still holding out for the new vet being young and pretty (for MW, that is). Are we just going to marry them off, or will we now have to endure weepy Wilbur pouting for a week? I suppose sniper fire is too much to hope for.
GG: This has got to be the lamest comic strip concept ever. Can you please stop wasting space on it?
@Hibbleton: GG: “DICK TRICKLE!!!” (Runs away snickering but Snickersless)
@UncleJeff: Of course! He used to race at the Minnesota State Fair every year.
In a couple of my dead pools, we have specialty rounds with the Dick Round being a biggie.
One year I picked Dick Trickle. And he died!
The next year I picked Dick Assman, the gas station guy from Saskatchewan who was on Letterman. And he died!
On Sportscenter, Keith Olbermann would always mention Trickle. He’d read off who finished first, second, and third, etc. and always add, “And Dick Trickle finished 28th.”
So Dick Trickle is the GOAT.
@pugfuggly:#6: re-GT: Assuming that Dracula is supposed to be 15th Century Romanian warlord Vlad the Impaler, a veteran of many battles, the answer is yes, Dracula was very skilled at swordplay.
Snuffy – Why yes, it “wuz purty obvious.” We all figured it out on Sunday. But as long as you’re spelling out the joke, maybe you should spell out the fact that this character’s name is Li’l Tater, just in case?
Tiger – Your English teacher.
Tell Gertie that Jeff Gordon was the greatest driver ever, and have your friends take all the candy as she maniacally chases you down with a chainsaw a la Leatherhead
Forget it Gil, you’ll never outdo Mary Worth in vampirism.
Gil Thorp: Geez, Gil, it’s a giant haunted house at the top of a hill — do you really need the giant sign? To paraphrase “The Simpsons,” “Disco Dracula does not advertise!”
Rex Morgan: C’mon, dummy, just put on a kerchief and say you’re the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man from Ghostbusters. It’s right there!
Gearhead Gertie: I like the kid who just bought a huge, grotesque monster mask and didn’t care enough to add any other costume — he’s just wearing it with his everyday clothes. Especially since it came with huge, leering eyes, which means he can’t actually see anything as he traverses his neighborhood streets at night. In fact, Gertie thinks he’s so cool that she’s giving him extra candy from her dog-food bowl of loose M&Ms!
Mary Worth: “Let’s see… wheat bran, whole wheat, applesauce, raisins, honey, eggs, and salt. How is that weird? It’s my recipe for everything!”
Gearhead Gert – Uh, James Bond?
What is child #3 supposed to be? Bored goblin? Sarcastic witch? Person with skin condition who is so totally done with your shit? Whatever it is it’s perfect and I love it
@Anonymous: God knows I’m not defending Gearhead Gertie, but how is it worse than Marmaduke? Or Dennis the Menace, for that matter. Discuss.
Gil Thorp, 10/31/24: “You could simply knocke the mortal’s weapon aside…” ‘knocke’ ? As in Knocke Arabian horses? He could simply ‘Arabian horse’ the mortal’s weapon aside? https://www.knockearabians.com/
GT: This is what Gil imagines when he’s having sword fights in the locker room showers.
Off the top of my head, I can only name two Nascar drivers: Don Prudhomme and Cha-cha Muldowney.
GG: Gertie’s shirt is a hint that the answer is Dale Earnhardt, which is probably what both the kids and I would have guessed without the hint. Honestly Halloween is probably the one night of the year that everyone—or at least trick or treaters—is glad that Gertie is a fanatic about NASCAR and not the more-difficult-for-Americans Formula 1.
GT: You know, I’m pretty sure I’ve seen graffiti on the Milford walls that says “Coach Thorp sucks” but this isn’t how I interpreted it.
MW: So will the Glorious Founder with Spatula statue in Santa Royale town square be made from granite, bronze, or will they actually spring for marble?
RMMD: Preview of Johnny(?) as an adult. “You kids are still trick-or-treating on Samhain, like suckers? Midsummer is where it’s at!”
Mary Worth – “Several weeks later” – just think. We could have spent those several weeks on a Mary victory lap, with everyone praising her for her meddling. Maybe that will be part of the wedding ceremony. I have an advance copy of the wedding program – let me check. Oh, here it is, right before the vows. “Homage and praise for Meddler.”
6Chix – Lawton should skip Halloween. Her witches are no uglier than her usual women.
Gearhead Gertie – It’s hard to believe that such a fanatic would have a lame knockoff T-shirt. Surely she would shell out big bucks for a shirt with a stylized, tilted 3. She would also have the version with the 3 with angel wings, which is a low point of brainless fanaticism.
I seriously loathe this one note strip.
Ripley’s – Vlad’s diet wasn’t the factor that made him an inspiration for Dracula. It was the “The Impaler” thing.
Mary Worth – I think the bowl holds leftover frosting. I notice that she puts it on the cake with a trowel. I’m surprised that she frosted it with roses and not figures of animals. Or The Beauty of Nature.
I’m thankful that Josh linked to those cake competition strips, especially the one in which she and John moved the cake, which everyone knows is the hardest and most suspenseful part of the competition. I love the heckler.
@Baja Gaijin: GAAAH! “Horror” doesn’t begin to describe that.
@I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV: I agree with that!
@Sid, Agent to the Animal Stars!: Great job with the Praying Mantises in Non Sequitur today. That was quite edgy.
That IS a prop, I’m sure.
@Hibbleton: Re FC – I unironically smiled at this today. That’s how a toddler would react. I’m a mom, and I felt sympathy for him.
Blondie – Blondie’s “Elmo again?” is pretty funny. “My husband is baffled and sad. The intellectual feats of that little grade-school kid he hangs around with must have confused him again.”
C-Shaft: Jessica, you do realize that the only people who know or care who the Pulp is are in the room with you, don’t you?
DT: Ooh, the Totten CEO has an original Sarah Morgan horsey picture in his office. Very nice!
Dustin: Vampires? Assuming Fitch isn’t just being an idiot—big if, I know—Dustin’s world is more interesting than what we see of it. Of course it would pretty much have to be.
JP: “Neddy, it’s great to see you, sometimes. But not particularly right now.”
Luann: I have to wonder why Tiff stood around like a dope watching that whole thing. Then again, one could ask why I came back today to read it.
MG&G: Today in Comics That Might Start International Incidents if They Had a Significant Overseas Readership…
@Artist formerly known as Ben: Granite’s a bitch and a half to carve. There aren’t really that many granite monuments out there. One of my favorites is Lorado Taft’s “The Crusader,” in Graceland Cemetery, Chicago.
@Ukulele Ike: #85: I think because it’s such a one trick pony that should’ve never been greenlighted by the syndicate. There was a time when a strip about a huge voracious dog that eats it’s owners out of house and home and is a bull in the china shop, and a strip about a bratty, wisecracking kid would’ve been considered an inexaustable supply of humor.
@I speak Jive: re: 6Chx: I’ll give Lawton credit….this is the first cartoon witch I’ve ever seen wearing pants.
MW: I look forward to seeing that cake again at the wedding, when a drunken Wilbur face-plants into it.
@Johnny Q: #88: I thought Shirley (She hated the nickname Cha-cha) Muldowney was mostly a drag racer.
Grew up in Edmonton, here. Halloween costumes always needed to fit over a snowsuit.
I grew up in the South. We always had to make sure we didn’t overdo our costumes so we wouldn’t sweat to death.
How come Gertie doesn’t have a racecar shaped house?
@Guillermo el chiclero:
Yes, both Muldowney and Prudhomme were NHRA drag racers.
Why doesn’t #3’s ghost haunt Gertie and tell her what an @$$ she’s making of herself?
GG- Come on, you know one of those kids want to say “Dick Trickle” just for the laugh
GG: The kid in front slowly points to himself.
@Anonymous: Spooky!
Josh, congrats on the World Series Victory!
BLONDIE:. Like the little Spiderman. Last night at work, Wolverine visited with silent “Spidey” in tow.
BF:. Easier being ditched than ditching.
FRAZZ:. I haven’t read this book, has anyone here?
JUMP START:. That Carla! Not only can she disguise herself as anything, she also knows how to break a suspect. (Hope she never switched sides,)
PHANTOM:. Ah, Kit sees an in. Feed Roboman false info that this hallucinatory world won’t survive unless he shuts himself down. Interesting how Ian Mollusk’s Utopia is populated exclusively by beings exactly like himself.
6 CHIX:. Used these guys every week at my local Farmers market. Sometimes they sell jam, other times a ball.
Happy Halloween! Anyone hear Marie La Vieux yet this year?
Not nice, Gertie, trying to trick the kids into saying Earnhardt with your shirt when longtime Mike Smith comic readers know you are a David Pearson stan.
@UncleJeff:
Dick Trickle is a good choice if we’re going with greatest NASCAR driver name of all time, though I have to put in a plug for Trickle’s fellow Wisconsinite and partner in rhyme Rich Bickle, whose post-racing career notably involved owning a gentlemen’s club…
RRMD:. But those coats too are a surprise! Covered as innocent little children, the fearsome monsters reveal themselves as vicious raccoons, throwing off their covers and grabbing the candy dish as soon as the door is open.
Gearhead Gertie-Answer wrong and Gertie is going to tie you to her bumper and drag you up and down the street.
RMMD: My sibs and I, having grown up in an old Detroit suburb, remember cold driving rain on Halloween, year after year. And my grandma was a seamstress who made gorgeous costumes out of on-sale pieces of silk, satin, etc. Having to wear raincoats over those costumes was sad.
@Baja Gaijin: #1
Doggone it…I was kind of expecting to see Wilbur’s bloody head on a pike or stuffed inside a jack o lantern…or is that too dark for this conservative blog??? Maybe it is a little too dark. How about Halloween cookies decorated with a Wilbur-faced bat or Wilbur with Dracula fangs? Something fun for the kids!!!
GG: Cole Trickle, because he was played by Tom Cruise!!
GEARHEAD GERTIE: She probably doesn’t even HAVE candy, just little pieces of NASCAR tires coated with paint.
@Dennis Jimenez:
I can go #1 without going #2 but never have I gone #2 without also going #1.
@Bob Tice: #19
Touché !!!!!
Dick Trickle should have become a urologist, like his mother wanted. She had better luck with his brother, the cardiologist — Venn Trickle.
GT: I thought that traditional vampire lore was dead and that vampire culture now consists of whatever anyone wants vampires to be. I can’t remember when I read, possibly here on CC, that the vampires in some book were “sparkly,” but surely that marked the beginning of the end.
@Anonymous: That’s the point of the blog though, I remember Josh saying years back that he could review GOOD comics, but that’s not as fun, he used “Get Fuzzy” as an example.
@Anonymous:
Opinion noted. Whose space is being wasted exactly?
@Poteet: Vampire lore has been fluctuating for thousands of years, even the original Dracula novel is still a far cry from the original legends.
Although I did like that one ancient lore, to spill a big bag of rice/grain etc… outside of your door, and if a vampire shows up, he’ll be instantly compelled to count every single piece, until the sun comes up and fries him.
I honestly do not know of the “Counting Vampire” thing, inspired The Count’s gimmick from Sesame Street or if the writers were just coincidentally doing a pun on the title “The Count”, and got very very lucky.
@The Rambling Otter: Ooh, interesting! If the vampire would kindly step around the corner of my house, he’d find the birdfeeder setup and would fry for certain. I do like that counting lore much more than the “sparkly” bit, and that Sesame Street connection is great.
GG: I know the answer (for Gertie, anyway) is Petty. But given that it is FREAKIN’ OCTOBER 31st (and the Dodgers are on parade tomorrow), the only #3 I’ll recognize is the Steelers’ Russell Wilson. LET RUSS COOK!
BF: Maeve, this solves all your problems! Well, at least the immediate one of telling Steve he’s being dumped. Don’t blow it with a jealous rant.
@Ukulele Ike: Good point. Granite seems to be used mostly for monuments that will be seen from far away and for grave markers where the important thing is to stand up to the elements.
@Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol: s/Petty/Earnhardt. What was I thinking?
@113 Daisy: Sorry, I’ve had more exposure to that image than ordinary people should have.
@I speak Jive: Re MW: The question is, did she leave room for the cake toppers? Especially since the little groom figure has to be holding up a dead dog.
Speaking of Get Fuzzy, the New York Yankees, and spooky coincidences, today’s GoComics reprint is scarily date-appropriate. Put that in your Chrono-Synclastic Infundibulum and smoke it.
The Phantom: Resistance is futile. Prepare to be assimilated.
@Poteet: Also, I believe that’s why Zombies have been so popular in stories lately, unlike Vampires and Werewolves, they weren’t utterly destroyed by crappy novel depictions.
Blondie: “I am Avarice.”
Gil Thorp’s “researchers” watched “Zorro,the Gay Blade” instead of “Love At First Bite” for their vampire lore and knowledge.AI told them “Watch the 70’s George Hamilton spoof movie.”
Sally Forth: Nice headlights.
@Ukulele Ike: If I remember correctly, Rob is die hard Red Sox fan.
@Activist: Oh, yeah — it’s a classic of childrens’ literature. I read it when it was new. The second volume in Sendak’s Where the Wild Things Are trilogy, in between the titular book and 1981’s Outside Over There.
It was controversial in 1970 because the protagonist lost his jammies early in the narrative and carried on pantsless. His little wiener was on full display throughout. Here’s the Wiki link.
@Lord FlatulenceBlondie: “I am Avarice.”
______________________
I am the Bumstead, I am the bumstead, I am the Blondie, boob boob ba chew.
Bible thumping heavyweights/alive and looking for some kind of news/Hey diddle, diddle, the cat and the fiddle /Blondie in the middle,boob boob ba chew, boob boob ba chew – Nasty/MacQuigley “Blondie In The Middle” ©1965 Absolute Filth Songs. All Right Reserved. All Wrongs are up for grabs.
@The Rambling Otter: Although I did like that one ancient lore, to spill a big bag of rice/grain etc… outside of your door, and if a vampire shows up, he’ll be instantly compelled to count every single piece, until the sun comes up and fries him.
_______________
OCD-
obsessive compulsive Dracula.
You have to be a real shmucker to buy that Monster Jam™.
DT: So I guess Sprengstoff is the fare dodger, who spouted some half-overheard Totten jargon (hence “xylophone” instead of .. yeah) in the belief this would magically get him released. But there’s nothing in the strip to indicate that the fare dodger isn’t “that drunk”, because Costello knows what he means, and therefore we should too.
GG: Sure, everyone talks about Tom Batiuk tackling the “big issues” — if only to mock him — but day in, day out, Mike Smith (who I assume isn’t the late British DJ — although he was also a racing driver!) is chronicling the tragedy of a woman suffering complete monomania, unable to communicate normally, unable even to engage in the rituals that bind our society together without her obsession getting in the way. And yet does this get even half the attention of “burning books is bad because it’s bad to burn books”?
Phantom: Now that we’re back in whatever passes for reality in this strip, I think it’s worth reiterating, one last time, that this entire bizarre sequence almost certainly exists because DePaul skimmed an article about AI that said one of the drawbacks was that it had “hallucinations”, and decided finding out what that actually meant was more research than he was prepared for.
Pluggers: Okay, I didn’t do Hallowe’en this year myself, because nobody came round last year, and it was an office day and a late finish, and I just don’t have the energy. But I didn’t set up for Hallowe’en and then decide to eat all the candy, go to bed, and leave the jack o’lantern out to confuse kids. That’s Ed Crankshaft levels of jerkitude.
@The Rambling Otter: @Poteet: Also, I believe that’s why Zombies have been so popular in stories lately, unlike Vampires and Werewolves, they weren’t utterly destroyed by crappy novel depictions
________________________________
Where the werevixens at? (Insert “Vixen Park” plug here)
@The Rambling Otter: Sure, but there’s interesting bad and … less interesting bad. “Gil Thorp is randomly a vampire” – interesting. “Mary Worth is thinking about how great she is” – probably more interesting to Josh than me if I’m honest, but I can see it. “Gearhead Gertie is using something unrelated to NASCAR as an excuse to talk about NASCAR” – yes, of course she is. She always is.
Now, I think Josh features it sparingly enough that I haven’t become sick of it yet, but I can understand why someone might disagree.
Dick Twacy Hollistic Defective: The head of the Hottentot Organization says a bit too much when he asks, “Think this Stroganoff guy would go well with noodles, mushrooms, and a cream sauce?”
It’s just baffling that Gil Thorp and Gearhead Gertie are commercial enterprises that are somehow profitable.
@Jeffmcm: I maintain my theory that certain comics are numbers stations run by shadowy cabals or exist only to transmit trigger phrases to various Manchurian candidates (probably also on behalf of shadow cabals).
Ah yes, Halloween being cold. That was a problem like 20 years ago, but not in 2024. Thanks climate change! These legacy comic strips sure are stuck in the past.
Al Unser, and/or his brother Bobby. Just out of loyalty to childhood heroes.
@Ukulele Ike: Yes. Got there before I did. How dare Frazz drag Sendak into Caulfield’s arrogance!
When you sort of think about it, “thorp” kinda sounds like the noise a blade makes when it slices into an organ.
Swordsman: “Ha-ha! Take that, fiend!”
Sound effect: “THORP!”
Bad Guy: “My spleen!”
“Why would you bother getting into a sword fight if you were a vampire?” … Have you ever heard of a thing called “Style”!
@Artist formerly known as Ben: I completely forgot about cake toppers. That is perfect.
Revisiting a conversation from last week: Yesterday afternoon Mr. Jive and I made a short visit to Lancaster County, and one of the places we went to was Shady Maple Smorgasbord. There are signs throughout the restaurant saying that people should eat as much as they want, but that taking food out of the restaurant “is considered shoplifting.” I don’t remember them using the word shoplifting before.
As buffets go, it’s not bad. There’s a large variety of different foods, and the desserts are good. There’s the usual buffet problem of food becoming overdone because of sitting in heated trays, although this restaurant has pretty good turnover.
Instead of having sugar and sweetener packets and creamer on the tables, there are centralized dispensers for both sugar and creamer. Push a button for the amount of sugar you want in your tea. It looks like they don’t want anyone to walk out with even sugar packets.
I don’t pig out at buffets, so I’m not a plugger.
Dale Earnhardt Jr is retired – how would those children stand a chance of knowing who his dad was? He was dead long before they were born.
This is like me expecting my nephews to know who Chris Evert or Arthur Ashe was. There’s no way, they’re too little.
REX MORGAN M.D.:
50 year old midgetAdorable Morgan moppet: “Do we really have to wear coats over our costumes?”June: “When you’re drawn by a person that isn’t creative or talented enough to conceptualize what a child would wear for Halloween, then yes, you do.”
REX MORGAN M.D. (2): One of
The Bobsey Twinsthe Morgan kids: “Aww man! There goes our “Sexy Diner Waitress” costumes!”@Philip:
FG: I’m surprised nobody’s mentioned A J Foyt, probably the best all around driver. Indy cars, NASCAR, Formula One, you name it, he kicked ass.
@I speak Jive: Mmmmm, LOVE Lancaster county, just a few hours from Brooklyn, hope you enjoyed some Lancaster county ice cream, squirted out fresh from Amish cows.
Best smorgasbord food I ever had was at Charlotte Jenkins’s Gullah Kitchen, just north of Charleston, SC, in 2010. First pass at the trough was black-eyed peas, turnip greens, pork BBQ, and a piece of fried chicken. Next two passes were more fried chicken. That fried chicken was SO GOOD (we had done a long passage through the south and Little Banjo and I had tasted a LOT of fried chicken) that I shook Charlotte’s hand, purchased her cookbook at retail price, and made her autograph it.
Sadly, the Gullah Kitchen closed down several years back, and Charlotte devoted herself to catering.
I’m sure the Rex Morgan team had to make that comic a while ago, but I found it ironic since this is the hottest Halloween we’ve had here in Virginia in a while, and the hottest day of the whole month this year. 82 today.
GIL THORP: To be fair, this Dracula strip could also be another erotically-charged Halloween fantasy as well. So when Gil and Coach Gothisasskicked are “crossing swords” in a figurative display, it means they’re actually….
@Little Guy: I thought he was the greatest Extenze spokesman of all times?
@Mathmannix: Hottest Halloween here, as well. I was hoping the Sexy Brooklyn Halloween Parade would be a lot nakeder, but I guess the costumes were planned too early for the weather forecast.
@GarrisonSkunk: Looks like you’ve been in the gummies again.
MW: Another bizarre age disparity matchup from Moy.
Gearhead Gertie is a tedious monomaniac, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t and won’t hope and pray that the kid responds, dismissively and not without a reasonable factual basis, “Dick Trickle, DUH.”
The first two panels of Dustin read like song lyrics that would cause even Pat Boone to shout, “Who the fuck wrote this shit?”
I hope tomorrow the Pizza Monster meets the 2500 Degree Oven.
@Dr. Pill:
One, two! One, two! And through and through
The thorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He did not yield, and left the field
For ice cream at Shake Shack.
@158 Ukulele Ike: You were in Charleston? Did you stop by for an iced tea with Liam?
@GarrisonSkunk: You, sir, must be, as they say, drunk as a skunk.
Luann Stef has nothing to worry about. Creatures with their eyebrows in their hair helmets do not breed with creatures with eyebrows on their faces.
Oh, who am I kiddin?. This is Luann, no one breeds. The only one who’s getting any is the Jizz towel.
@Truckosaurus: I was going to say it’s just 1 single giant muffin.