Bench II: Return to the Bench
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Beetle Bailey, 11/3/24
Every once in a while, you do have to wonder how much anyone at Walker-Browne Amalgamated Humor Industries LLC knows about the actual U.S. military and how it works. Like, do you think that they’re vaguely aware that’s there’s a football team called “Army,” but don’t know that it’s the college team fielded by the U.S. Military Academy and assume instead that its players are just, like, enlisted men chosen at random? Anyway, today our Camp Swampy heroes are playing against a team [squints at helmets] comprised of literal pirates, or maybe representing Death itself.
Family Circus, 11/3/24
Say what you will about today’s Tiktok-addled children, but they would not get distracted from a wholesome family game by some dumb hobo clown on TV and then sit there watching him enraptured for a full minute. Kids simply don’t have that kind of attention span anymore.
Rex Morgan, M.D., 11/3/24
Noooo, Wanda, be careful, Truck is trying to pull you into his bench sitting based lifestyle, don’t fall for it
126 replies to “Bench II: Return to the Bench”
Beetle Bailey-That MASH unit packed their team with ringers.
RMMD-“And so three months later fall comes to ‘Rex Morgan’…”
MW-“So, Mary, where is this open bar because there is no reason why I should be here,” Wilbur says.
RMMD:
“What’s up with you?”
“I don’t want to come off as callous
Or filled with a troublesome malice —
My good female doc
Will help our world rock:
I think that I need to ‘see Alice‘ !”
Beetle Bailey: Someone must have known that Beetle’s team would quit within the first 10 minutes of each game, because they decided on snow-white uniforms without worrying that they’d get dirty.
Rex Morgan: “What inspired this walk through the park, Truck?” “You’re prettier than the fall colors. And also, I’m incredibly cheap. Now, sit down on this bench and we can share a couple of Tic Tacs I found in my pocket.”
Family Circus: Mommy looks a little annoyed that the kids lost interest in their game, but she’s also mad because she just noticed that Daddy sold the TV stand to buy rum again.
RMMD: If you recently consumed something dangerous and are in desperate need of an emergency emetic, here’s Truck Tyler setting up a marriage proposal by bragging about his experience at manipulating other women.
CS: Batiuk has spent the past half century writing generational and social commentary, which is fairly impressive given that he completely stopped paying attention to what America’s youth was up to after 1982.
JP: This conversation is so far detached from reality and its own plot and characters that I no longer understand anything about anything that is happening anymore. Sam could crash through the wall tomorrow and blame Reena for the fall of communism before Sophie grabs his tail and throws him through the Gateway Arch to score the winning goal for the 100m dash, and it would follow just as well as any of this while being a refreshing break from Neddy’s bullshit.
RMMD — Rule 3 of sweettalking a woman–don’t admit that you’ve had a lot of practice at it. . .
BB — I’ve seen this movie. Let the biggest defensive lineman come through unabated. . .
BB: They’re playing the team from the Office of Consultation Discussions — or OCD, which explains why they’re lined up in numerical order.
RMMD: Boy, does Truck think he’s all that, or what? He’s smarmy.
MW: You have no cards, Wilbur. You dropped your cards. Your cards blew away.
DtM: ” Time Out” isn’t a disciplinary tool so much as a temporay removing of Dennis from harm’s way, as his mother has no desire to go to prison. Mr Wilson serves the same purpose.
BG&SS: Today’s strip shows young readers the fun and excitement of exploring deep, underground caves without the accompaniment of troublesome adults.
Beetle Bailey: Those guys are defensive tackles left behind when the Raiders moved to Vegas. No wonder they’re mad.
BB: I’m wondering if this is actually a dream? Besides the nonsense of army football games and the fact that the field seems to be sitting at the edge of a blue void, that appears to be Sarge as a referee, watching himself fail as a coach. I don’t think we need to dig too deep into the Freud to figure out what that one means…
FC: I like how heavy-lidded Jeffy looks in that third panel. He’s already forgotten where he going and why he’s going there, well before getting distracted by television.
RMMD: I appreciate the art here, I really do. It’s just that when Bill Watterson would do his gorgeous autumn montages, he would still depict, you know, something happening?
MW: Wilbur blames the stars and not himself for his failed romance. Enabler Mary goes blame free.
FC: Gather ‘round the fatscreen tv, everybody.
RMMD: This is like Renoir except uninteresting.
BB – Our national security is…um…well…where do you keep the liquor?
FC – Ah – future voters undergoing shiny object conditioning. American democracy is safe for the foreseeable future….
RMMD – The artwork today is really amazing. I won’t bring things down with my sense that this is leading up to Truck taking the big dirt nap….
Adios Amigos l, DJ.
Blondie – Also, Dagwood, it’s Sunday. You don’t have to go to work.
BB: I think having just that one bar on the front of the helmets right in front of the persons nose is going to cause more injuries than it will prevent. If the opposing team is made of morbidly obese middle age men as Sarge appears to be than I don’t think Beetle has much to be concerned about. These are the kind of people who can’t even go grocery shopping without an electric scooter, there’s no chance they have the physical ability to run around a field for over an hour. I do appreciate that their motivational chants are “we got this! Win! Win!”
FC: The kids gather around to watch the flatscreen TV placed directly on the floor with four little children running around before it gets broken …again.
@jroggs: JP: This conversation is so far detached from reality and its own plot and characters that I no longer understand anything about anything that is happening anymore. Sam could crash through the wall tomorrow and blame Reena for the fall of communism before Sophie grabs his tail and throws him through the Gateway Arch to score the winning goal for the 100m dash, and it would follow just as well as any of this while being a refreshing break from Neddy’s bullshit.
He’s the biggest hack on the comics page, bar none. Batuik and Moy were always lame but Marciuliano used to be funny on Sally Forth (not so much anymore) and Medium Large. Now he just spews up the first thought that pops into his head, ignores his own story continuity, cashes the check, counting on poorMike Manley to make it at least look sort of decent. The very definition of a hack.
Now we can exactly date the animal uprising against humans, as Josh has noted many times being documented in Shylock Fox. The cruel and unjust murder of Peanut and his partner Fred by the Human death squads was the last straw.
Is it too much to hope that whats-his-face has brought whats-her-face to the bench to propose, and he tries to put the ring on her finger and SHE HAS TRIGGER FINGER TOO? I’d say I have my fingers crossed but I don’t want to flaunt my privilege.
Mara Llave: Keister of Time: This is so cute. The writer thinks he’s accumulated a backstory.
In the most feckless introduction of a new comic strip in the history of comic strips — four-strip hiccup, silence for a year — three-strip hiccup, silence for two years — we’ve been given a secondary character who is clearly supposed to be of some great significance, as in whenever he appears Mara Llave is all “Gordin!” “It’s Gordin!!!” “Jumpin’ Jehosaphat, looky here! GORDIN!” And we have no idea why she’s getting her panties in a twist. Today hints at a past romantic entanglement, even though he looks like her grandfather, and a bit like Mitt Romney in a Roman collar.
Not that we have any idea who Mara is either, or what a “Keeper of Time” is. Looking forward to the big reveal in a few months when we see Mara and Gordin with stopwatches at a local high school track event, judging the foot races.
Hide-and-seek, like many games played by humans and other animals, is meant to teach young ones basic skills of hunting and hiding from predators. What I mean to say is, the Keane kids should have already be Darwined out of existence!
RMMD: “You did, Terry, you have drawn a Sunday strip that is full of details and colour shades, a pleasure for the eyes to see and a treat for all the Sunday readers! I guess I have done enough and can half-ass the writing part”
6Chx: Hey, Piro. If you’ve been waiting to read that for “ages,” do the author a favor and BUY A DAMN COPY AT A BOOKSHOP. Taking it out of the library doesn’t put any bread and butter on the man’s table.
Marvin: If you are so fragile that a toddler tossing a small toy ball can severely injure you than you really should not be consuming alcohol.
Zits: Jeremy expects to be used as a human sacrifice as he is put into a tank of giant sharks at some kind of stadium show while he dances with his cordless electric guitar. The school counselor isn’t helping him with career opportunities, she is trying to determine how psychologically impaired he is and it looks like he will be spending a lot of time in a mental health facility.
Garfield: Garfield is horny! And I honestly didn’t need to see what he considers foreplay.
MW: I know
everyonea lot of youa few have been concerned about possible “tensions” on the set between the Terrific Trio. And I’m afraid it’s out in the open today… Odin refused to sit with Libby and Pierre, saying he’d rather be with Dogs than with them! So they had to set it up like he was the “groom’s side” along with patients Max and Greta. So that gets us through today…We’ll just have to see how things go with the merged family storyline when everyone moves into Ed’s place, and Odin’s territory is threatened! Will fur fly? I’m sure it will be kept behind the curtain if there’s any conflict. The Ladies don’t wanna spoil the fantasy of the Perfect Pets, which our Stars have so brilliantly portrayed.
We still have plenty of Pet wedding attire in stock! Get ready for next Halloween now! Cat ensembles come in size Large, and we have Dog duds in Short, Tall, and Chubby. Let’s clean out the storeroom! Christmas merch is arriving daily….
CS: “Hi, I’m a younger voter. I saw your Smiley Face Wearing a Funny Hat logo and it made me want to vote. How do I do that?”
“Well, first, are you registered?”
“Registered for what?”
“To vote.”
“To vote what?”
“Well, never mind that right now. I’ll give you a provisional ballot.”
“What’s a ballot?”
“It’s a piece of paper that has the names of all the candidates and all the issues, and you choose which ones you prefer.”
“Oh, like on ‘American Idol.’ How do I know which ones I prefer?”
“Um, you educate yourself.”
“You mean study? I thought this was supposed to be fun.”
“Hey, maybe you could come by next week when we’re not as busy.”
“What do I win if I guess right?”
[long pause]
“You win all the Smiley Face Wearing a Funny Hat logos. . . . You know what? You’ve already won! Here take all the logos. They’re yours. This one and this one and grab that one over there and take them home.”
“Gee, thanks! Voting is fun!”
RMMD: It’s obvious that Truck is going to propose to Wanda. The only question is: what overblown crisis will overshadow their happiness? I’m personally hoping for a return of Rene Belluso, peddling his latest scam of love languages or compatibility quizzes or whatever.
It’s OK, Beetle! Those guys have numbers in the 80s! They’re just oversized tight ends playing out of position!
MW:
“You may kiss the bride!”
“May I kiss Dr. See? — I mean, she was a bride once, when she forsook me for her current relationship partner!”
[A donnybrook redolent of Game of Thrones‘ Red Wedding ensues.]
Frazz: Take that, you loathsome professional hockey players with your indoor rinks!
MW: Wilbur meets Sheila at the bar. Their small talk involves how they know the happy couple. Wilbur knocks back a shot and pours himself another while explaining how he used to date Estelle. Sheila remarks on the coincidence, pours herself another, and reveals that she used to date Ed. Their talk becomes intertwining tales of regret over how each of them was denied the happiness that Estelle and Ed have given to each other instead of to them. They pour more drinks.
The next morning, an extremely hungover Sheila wakes up in Wilbur’s bed. “Oh my God, what have I done?”
@Ukulele Ike: Was going to speculate on the effect of time travel on problematic age gaps, but that’s what The Time Traveler’s Wife was about I guess.
MW:
“Dearest Stell and gathered friends, I’m inspired to verse, with a nod to Sheila here and to the indomitable Joyce Kilmer:
“I think that I shall never flee
A poem as lovely as Doc See
“A See whose yummy mouth is prest
Against the earth’s sweet flowing chest
“A See that looks at dogs all day
And lifts their beefy legs to spay
“A See that may in Summer bear
A tressed-up noggin in her hair
“Upon whose choosin’ woe has lain
Who infinitely lives with strain
“Poems are made by tools like me
But octopods can take Doc See!
“Stell! Wait a minute! Where are you going?”
Don Abundio, translated:
“That woman must be researching the inscriptions people carve on trees”
“Not exactly. She’s compiling the stats on my romance strategy”
“All failures so far!”
[On trees: DON ABUNDIO LOVES ANA, DON ABUNDIO LOVES MARIA, etc.]
RMMD:
“I have been around awhile — had some practice. It’s this ‘900’ number I call all the time. I have to pay for it, and the person on the other end of the line almost always does most of the talkin’ — but from what I hear her tellin’ me, I think she really likes me!”
C’shaft: This makes sense when you realize they consider “younger voters” to be people in their 40s and 50s.
DT: See, that’s the danger of fare-jumping–you end up getting killed in the bathroom by a paid hitman!
Dustin: Ha-ha, pumpkin spice amirite? It’s been a thing for almost the entire lives of Dustin and Dustfriend, and was well entrenched in seasonal culture by the time Random Neighbor Kid was born, but it’s still something new and weird!
JP: Come on, Neddy, you can rely on Hank to be a dumping ground for whatever craziness you’ve gotten yourself into, what more does a Parker-Spencer-Driver marriage need?
HotC: Heart, dude was at a Mamma Mia double feature by himself. If he tells on you he’s as good as admitting he’s using your mom as a beard.
Luann: Is “directionless undeclared major” really that much of a thing these days? I would have thought the prohibitive expense of higher education would discourage most people going into college without at least knowing what field they want a degree in. I feel like a 21st-century Luann would be on her third straight “gap year,” alternating between crashing at her parents’ house and going on road trips to “find herself.”
MW: Nothing is in the cards for you, Wilbur. Your Tarot deck is made up entirely of the Five of Coins. Maybe a Tower or Ten of Swords mixed in for your effect on others.
BB – The artists at Walker-Browne etc. spent less than a second deciding on a letter to put on the helmets and just used the first letter of the alphabet. If they had spent maybe fifteen seconds, they could have landed on “S” for Swampy. But I guess that’s asking too much.
RMMD: Kudos to the colorists. Seriously nice job today.
FC: Kudos to Thel. She birthed four melon heads and has managed keep her figure. That had to require a real commitment.
Marvin: I got stuck on the second panel far too long trying to decipher what kind of cellphone has a trumpet-like mouthpiece.
FC: Why did the hobo clown jump over the (squints) oil lamp?
MW: Since this wedding needs some serious livening-up, here’s hoping Wilbur gets into the Purple Drank, takes over the deejay’s mic and starts playing bitter break-up songs while ranting incoherently.
I know, there’s no deejay. I can dream.
BB: Accidentally kinda timely, as Army wore a skull and crossbones decal on its helmets vs. Air Force yesterday.
RMMD – Where’s the Cialis logo??
Hi & Lois – If you are the artist of a legacy comic strip, and you choose an Easter Egg from an obscure 1960s TV show to hide on the truck license plate (BR549) which 95% of your audience will not or could never recognize — you must be a Plugger!
P.S. – If you are an occasional contributor to a web forum dedicated to good naturedly pissing on said legacy comics and is old enough to have instantly recognized “BR549” as a rural telephone number in a running joke on said obscure TV show “Hee Haw,” no ifs, and, or buts, you ARE a frickin’ Plugger.
RMMD:
“Well, now, just look at the size of your face in that fifth panel, Mr. Tyler! — it’s bigger than the visages on Mt. Rushmore!”
RMMD: I am both too young for this strip yet picky enough to be wonder why neither Truck nor Wanda are at least humming the 90-year-old song Pettin’ in the Park.
MW:
“What are you doing fiddling with that dinner biscuit shaper while the vows are being exchanged, anyway, Wilbur?”
“I figured I needed a roll model!”
Beetle Bailey: I like how the throwaway panels don’t feed into the rest in anyway whatsoever, so Beetle seems to go from being prone on the ground to abruptly standing like a video game character glitching out.
Rex Morgan: Holy hell look at this. Dynamic shadows. Actual facial expressions. Interesting angles with real variation. Why did the artist randomly decide to be actually good after years of getting by with slightly turned images of the characters placidly frowning in response to every event?
Rex Morgan: Wait, oh God, we’re about to get a Truck-Wanda sex scene oh my God holy mother of Christ, get me the fuck out of this!!!!
@Bob Tice: Are you pitching a crossover with BG&SS? Because the punnin’ guffaws have that Hootin’ Holler vibe.
FC: While the undeniably outdated-looking show about the antics of an unhoused clown is almost certainly being watched by the Keane Kids on some sort of obscure cable channel, it would be funny if they were actually watching it via a streaming service, giving a very unusual preferred set of shows to the analysts in charge of content for the service. There are some weeeeiiirrddd old TV specials on Amazon Prime, and the Keanes are responsible for half of them still being available, watching them on repeat on their old TV that’s somehow hooked up to a streaming box.
FC – Yes, Jef Keane made the half assed effort of whiting out the console TV and drawing a flat screen TV on the floor. We need to cut him some slack. Yes, he should have drawn the flat screen on a stand or hanging on the wall. However, the melonheads wouldn’t be looking at the screen. He would have to adjust the angles of all four kids’ heads. Do you realize how long that would take? Those golf balls won’t hit themselves.
Frazz – Mallett has always ripped off Bill Watterson’s drawing style, and now he’s ripping off Bil Keane.
Frazz is doing a good job of instilling smugness in the kid.
Mary Worth – Not even the adorable animals (Woof!) can dispel the impending sense of doom – the next story is going to be about Wilbur.
Rex Morgan – I seriously liked the artwork in the first panels. The colorist did a great job.
6Chix – The library I use tends to fail to pull the holds off the shelf in a timely manner. Several times when I checked out, the staff person told me to bring the book back quickly because someone had a hold on it. (“Well, it was on the shelf.”) The last time it happened, I told them to take the book for the person who requested the hold, because I would hope that someone would do the same for me. I ended up buying the book later. I’m glad I did, because I ended up keeping the book instead of donating it.
FC – Seriously, they’re mesmerized by clowns? Where in the world did they find a show with clowns that wasn’t a horror movie? The last kids’ show that I’m aware of is Paw Patrol, but I’m sure that there’s something more recent that kids watch.
@McManx: Impressive catch! You must be Junior Samples’ biggest fan.
BR549 was also an alt-country band from the 1990s — they released six albums with Arista and got nominated for several Grammys. Their multi-instrumentalist left in 2011 to tour with Dylan, and they were the opening act for Old Crow Medicine Show in Nashville in 2012. They seem to be defunct now.
Maybe the Walkers were weeding out their CD collection.
PV: Those mermaids hate Greg the magic spear but they love Lucky Eddie. Go figure.
@ValdVin:
Certain sure!
FC-Oh I’m sure Mommy was it for lots of “hide and seek” games.
MW: whenever a wedding took place inside someone’s house on a sitcom it was usually because they didn’t want to go through the trouble and expense of building another set (see: Different Strokes)
I have no idea what the excuse here is.
Regardless, Wilbur is sad and that makes me happy so everything worked out fine in the end.
Sunday Phantom: Only a couple of sideline panels today, as Phanty and I “witness history”…or that’s what they say. Just a generic battle scene, with additional Longhorn Cattle. The Management is aware of my chorographical skills, so they asked if I’d like to work with that Herd to coordinate their action. Well, knowing how thick-headed and stubborn those Cattle are, I declined. There’s a reason they say “stubborn as a Bull”… Anyway, they just let them run amok which worked out okay for the scene.
Thank heavens my delivery of Mane ‘n Tail products arrived yesterday. This desert air is so drying that I was actually getting frizzy! But as you see, the conditioners worked their magic and I’m back to my usual well-groomed self… I’ll be working on my hooves later – they fortunately aren’t in view today. The sand is really hell on my pedicure.
See you next week – unless the Cattle get too far off course…
I know very little about football, and even less about college football (except that as a non-American, it’s weird how many institutes of higher education emphasize the sport over actual education, and that in many states the highest paid state employee is a college football coach), but isn’t this the annual Army vs. Acute Toxicity game?
***
Phew! It’s a good thing the television distracted them because Jeffy and PJ were clearly just about to throw hands as the four children were running to a group hiding spot.
***
I’ve cracked wise at the inability of Rex Morgan M.D. artist Terry Beatty to draw children and teens who don’t look like adults, but as long as he’s only drawing adults, I’ll be damned if he’s not one of the best artists in this business today. Those are some beautiful panels, and kudos whoever coloured it too.
PV: That’s one wicked leer on Val’s mug in panel four. These must be the topless sort of mermaids.
@TheDiva: “Luann: Is “directionless undeclared major” really that much of a thing these days? I would have thought the prohibitive expense of higher education would discourage most people going into college without at least knowing what field they want a degree in.”
One of my favorite moments of watching college football was (many) years ago when ABC would present a “Chevrolet Scholar-Athlete of the Game” award.
Late in a game between Florida and Florida State, they gave the honors to a defensive linemen from each school.
They were both “5th year seniors” and their shared majors were: “Undecided”.
Phantom: The Writer of the Chronicles recognized the historic nature of the cattle stampede.
He wrote: “This was the stupidest battle strategy I have ever seen.”
Prince Valiant: An earlier Writer of the Chronicles cleaned up what the mermaid really said to Val: “Take this junk and get your ass out of here”.
If this Backup Comics Blogger gig ever dries up, I’m gonna go for a career as an Arquebusier.
Beetle Bailey – They’ve had football games before, against other companies (just obviously we almost never *see* those other companies existing outside of those). For a brief period they were usually led by Sgt. Fang, Sarge’s occasional rival now long lost to the mists. I think it was B Company, and Beetle’s is officially Company A (again seldom mentioned nowadays), thus the helmets.
So for once, Team Walker didn’t get that wrong.
@UncleJeff: If only Marshal Joseph Joffre had had the inspiration to stampede all the milk cows of Normandy directly into the invading Boche Army in 1915, the overly-dramatic twentieth century might have been much calmer.
@Ukulele Ike: I can just see that charge now: “Moo. LeMoo. LeMoo.”
@Uncle Lumpy: “Arquebusier”?
Is that anything like being a “Cock Teaser for Rooster-rama”?
The Familiar Mucus: “Kids! Stop watching “Biden My Time” this instant! Since when do we get Comedy Central on our floor model flat screen????”
GA:. 1) wow, “Pastor Present” is such an obvious pun but I never heard it before.
2) as they admit they’re on a trip of the imagination, I hope the girls’ assigned report is for a literature rather than a science class.
3) didn’t we get an EXTRA hour of sleep last night?
RMMD:. With all that sweet talk, Truck is either getting ready to propose or to die on that bench.
JUMP START:. Isn’t that the truth! Jobs, especially the jobs we dreamed of as kids, never turn out to be as fun or glamorous as we imagined.
@UncleJeff:
#64. I’m guessing our good Uncle meant to type “arque-bustier”
Six Chex and A Cat Named O.G. Readmore In Search Of A Punchline: “Ah……the last surviving copy of ” Les’ Story”, time to see if all the Burnings were worth it. People really freaked out when that Moore fellow said he was bigger than Jesus!”
FG: Actually, Prince Thun did have an agenda. He heard Earth people are really good at cleaning cat boxes.
RMMD: “Nice trees. Wanna fuck?”
FC: “Here I cum, ready or not! Good, they’re watching TV, they’ll never notice.”
RMMD: “Oh, my! You’re really turning on the charm today! What’s up with you?” ~~~~
Wanda’s heart sank as Truck steered her toward the bench to “sit for a minute”… the light-hearted banter looked like it was gonna get serious. All she had wanted to do was to get outside for a while, enjoy the fall color and the fresh air. Truck definitely smelled better out here. Could hardly detect the old man odor in the light breeze.
I guess it’s gonna hit the fan now – I know guys and these “sit down and be honest” talks. I’ve had a little experience myself. He’s either gonna propose marriage, or he’ll tell me he doesn’t need to be dependent on me anymore since his career is doin’ so great again. Which will it be? Please God, let him try to “let me down easy” ha ha He thinks it’ll break my heart or something if he wants to take a break. The conceited old coot. If only…
No, if I read the signs, he thinks he needs to make an honest woman outta me – he’s gotten too comfortable living in my house, eating at my diner, and gettin’ an occasional poke and tickle when he’s up for it. Luckily not too often. I just don’t know if I can do it for keeps. Marriage is a serious business… Of course it might make sense economically now that he’ll be making some cash with his new deal with Fergus….. Fergus.
I guess they’ll be spending a lot of time together now, probably practicing at the diner. So I’ll be seeing Fergus more… Lordy, what that man does to me! I just get tingly all over. And those little looks he gives me? Is that just an act for him… or is there something else?
Well, looks like I need to stick with Truck, one way or the other, if I want to maintain any contact with Fergus.. Sometimes you do what you gotta do….
BB: The other team’s gonna run a train on Beetle after the game, aren’t they?
Mary’s Worst: They really should fix the window crack Stale caused hitting the high note in “Muskrat Love” during the ceremony.
@Maude R. Fawker: RMMD: “Nice trees. Wanna fuck?”
________________________
What are ya, some kind of tree hugger?
FC: I was hoping the joke would be that Thel would let them go hide and she’d keep doing whatever she was doing in the kitchen, glad to have them out of her hair for a few minutes.
FC: Years later they find the kids skeletal remains in the crawlspace.
RMMD-“Let’s sit here and watch the leaves until the last one falls.”
MW: For a successful veterinarian you’d think Dr. Ed could afford a nicer house than that tiny crackerbox with a one car garage.
@GarrisonSkunk: What are ya, some kind of tree hugger?
On a first date, maybe. Pines and spruces can be a bit shy. Those maples and oaks are sluts though, and drop their leaves on any pretext.
FC- A great hide and seek player is hard to find.
@Nobody: FC- A great hide and seek player is hard to find.
Good point, although we can think of two different ways that can be interpreted.
So I’ve finally got round to skimming Comics Kingdom’s new strips, rather than seeing them purely as a disruption to where the comics I read are on the big list. I think the one about the toddler seems kind of fun (more Ivy the Terrible from the Beano than Marvin), but all the rest I’ve decided I can’t be bothered with. Including, surprisingly, the sci-fi action one, since I’m unconvinced it’s worth the effort clearly required to follow. And that’s coming from a Doctor Who fan.
BB: So is the second guy on the Skulltown Skulls defensive line meant to be some kind of person of colour (this is how comics used to portray the skin tone of Native Americans and sometimes Latinos), or just a white dude with sunburn? That’s going to be bugging me for minutes.
DT: Today in “Why Is Every Crook In Neo-Chicago A Moron?” Totten Jr decides that personally murdering a guy in police custody for daring to use their name is more important than continuing to be an organisation so free of suspicion that using their name has some sway with the cops in the first place. And in “Because The Cops Are Just As Dumb Themselves”, said police custody is too busy checking Twitter to notice. I guess he figured if Sprengstoff escaped, that would just save him some paperwork. Now he’s going to have lots of paperwork!
Garfield: “How do cats show affection? I mean, you’d think we’d know that, being cats and all, but…”
PV: So an actual mermaid clearly emerges from the water, throws the spear at him (to miss!) and says not to let it fall into their domain again, and Val thinks “the waves seem to take an almost human shape”? I know I’ve said this before, but Val, nice guy though he is, isn’t too bright, is he?
Pluggers: Pluggers live in off-the-grid compounds that are entirely self-sufficient, at least until they’ve eaten the cow, and they don’t need to know what time the government thinks it is.
SFx: Oh, I know! Did he ask the nurse which bed she was in according to the clipboard, and decide the escapee was the one in the other bed? (twists head sideways) Eh, that works too, I guess.
@The Breathtaking Bonehead Brothers:
Good point, although we can think of two different ways that can be interpreted.
Yeah, we can. Funny that.
Luann: So I thought at one point Luann worked with kids because she wanted to study education. Maybe art education. I guess that’s off the table. It was all so we could meet the kooky art teacher and kooky little kids, and of course now that Luann saved Mrs Kooky Old Lady writing is off the table. And drama? That too. Long gone. Apparently, the Evanseses think Luann won’t remain a relatable young adult if she has a major. It’s just making everything weird instead. But that’s what every character, plotline, and interaction already is–weird. Every year it gets weirder and weirder. And the fans just love it. I think…I think I might have to take a break.
I’m pretty sure sitting is not what Truck is looking to do on that bench.
@I speak Jive: @I speak Jive: FC – Seriously, they’re mesmerized by clowns? Where in the world did they find a show with clowns that wasn’t a horror movie? The last kids’ show that I’m aware of is Paw Patrol, but I’m sure that there’s something more recent that kids watch.
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Today on “It’s Howdy Baja Time!”……. Baja has a little surprise in store for Clarabelle when he introduces him to his little friend!
@Ukulele Ike: Yeah, I’d like Mara Llava to get going, too. The art’s good, mostly, but not enough is happening to make a good judgment. Someone’s being chased seems to be the story, but that’s default of nearly everything nowadays.
@made of wince: I finally gave up on Luann a few months ago, it had gotten too painful to even snark. With both it and Dustin, you would think that, just by randomness, there would occasionally be something that is actually relatable to the lives of contemporary young people, but, nope.
@Brian Merchant: I know. He wants to “feed the pidgeon” if you know what I mean.
@Hibbleton: “This’d be a great place t’git stuck or hopelessly lost an’ starve t’death!”
@86 GarrisonSkunk: Is this what you were expecting?
I’m disappointed that you’re all too adult to mention RMMD’s Tufted Titmouse teehee
Curtis: Several things bothering me about today’s strip. In the first panel the doorknob is on the lower half of the door which is just bizarre. Then when Curtis opens the bathroom door it opens inwards towards the bathtub which is possible but I don’t believe anyone would want this. Then there’s the design of the shower curtain. I am guessing those orange things are abstract fish of some sort. I shower pretty quickly myself but I don’t believe someone as financially conservative as Curtis’s father would take 5 entire minutes to shower. I also don’t think that the system of giving kids paper permission slips that need to be signed and returned for field trips is a thing anymore. Parents today get daily emails from teachers. Lastly the paper would not still be dripping water by the time Curtis got to school. Paper dries quickly and even if it was wet it wouldn’t be dripping.
@FoxyJ: That Tufted Titmouse is in the throwaway panels. I’m sure many here who read RMMD would not be able to see it.
The sucker is cute though.
BB: My favorite high school football team ended their season by forfeiting their final 2 games due to “lack of participation”.
They finished the Omaha, NB school season season with an 0-9 record, losing games by scores including 77-0, 66-0 and 63-0 (they lost last season’s opener 93-0). They score 17 total points in their 7 games and are on a 17-game losing streak.
C’mon Gil Thorp’s Mudlarks. Let’s see you top the Benson Mighty Bunnies.
What a dumb Family Circus! Thel is reading the newspaper. Who gets actual printed newspapers? Other than the new The Onion I mean.
This is a completely repurposed Family Circus from sometime in the late 60s/early 70s. All they did was update Thel’s hair, and substitute an LED TV for the ol’ CRT Magnavox they drew back then.
The TV is *sitting on the floor*. Nobody except college students does that. Also, Thel doesn’t have the magnificent rack the artists have gifted her with in recent years. Dead giveaway.
FC: And so the Keene kids encountered the Entertainment, as released by leg less Quebec separatists. (1)
(1) This is a reference to David Foster Wallace’s Infinite Jest. (2)
(2) So is the footnote.
@Sid, Agent to the Animal Stars!:
Sid, in addition to the seating arrangements, we all noticed that only Libby and Pierre had speaking parts today, and that Odin, Max, and Greta merely looked on without comment.
Is this a stipulation of Libby and Pierre’s contracts? Or is it some kind of union seniority thing? Or is it some facet of show biz that we civilians wouldn’t even think of?
Thanks for all you do.
@Doc Wonmug:
My money is on a Zenith.
@UncleJeff:
Is your favorite HS team your HS team? How many other HS teams do you like if that one is your favorite?
@Nobody: Or maybe a Curtis Mathes. And darn well worth it.
@Tabby Lavalamp:
I know very little about football, and even less about college football (except that as a non-American, it’s weird how many institutes of higher education emphasize the sport over actual education, and that in many states the highest paid state employee is a college football coach), but isn’t this the annual Army vs. Acute Toxicity game?
Nice burn. We deserve that.
@Baseball Biff: @Baseball Biff:
I like the cut of your jib, Biff
@99 Nobody: I don’t know if they can afford a Magnavox. I’ll bet it’s a Magnetbox or Sorny.
No comments about “It’s Howdy Baja Time” in comment #91? I know someone’s viewing it.
Beetle Bailey – There are football games for regular enlisted people that is part of athletics and morale programs the US military runs. Back in 2013 the NCAA tried to ban a Marine from playing collegiate football because he took part in those leagues during his service, but smartly backtracked on it before they received a John McCain sized foot up their ass.
Family Circus – Given that Mommy is reading the newspaper and the kids are watching a older model flatscreen TV that’s set on the ground, I doubt smartphones and Tik-Tok play a huge role in their lives.
Rex Morgan, MD – “Truck, be honest with me. Are you just in this relationship for the free stale bread from the diner so you can feed the birds?”
@Baja Gaijin:
Ha haaaa! Baja, I think we all might have missed the link on that one. Or at least I did. But anyway, I love it. Count me among the Death to Clowns Posse!
@Baja Gaijin: That clown had one bodacious fart!
@Philip: The diners of Glenwood give away their stale bread for free? Here in Brooklyn, we pay through the nose for stale diner bread.
@Nobody: With Halo Light.
@Baja Gaijin: I looked at your mashup. I’m trying to figure out why you subjected yourself to including a clown.
@107 Baseball Biff: Uh, no. The final panel scene is post-TNT suppository insertion.
BB: Why does the Camp Swampy team have an A on their helmets? Are they nicknamed the Adulterers?
FC: Think about what it means when you’re raising kids in a household with a 1950s level of technology and they wind up with smartphone era attention spans anyway.
RMMD: Looks like Truck is about to go on bended knee and ask for Wanda’s hand. So of course he reminds her that he’s a practiced bullshit artist, should such a reminder be needed.
Blondie: People whose sleep sounds indicate a dangerous level of apnea are—sad to say—not one of a kind.
C-Shaft: Younger voters? Looks more like it was made to attract people of all ages who permanently smell like weed.
DT: The one good thing about getting fired by Totten is that you don’t have to worry about how it looks on your résumé.
Dustin: It’s because the temperature drops, MENSA. Gawd I hope whatever Dustin and Fitch have doesn’t spread or else Hayden’s grades will crater.
JP: Is it better to be the ex-boyfriend Neddy dropped like a hot potato because
the writer got bored with youyou abused her trust or the one she drunk dials in the middle of the night? One to ponder.Luann: Fair to say they’re both right. No one will actually want to be counseled by Bernice.
MW: Can’t imagine accepting an invitation to my ex’s wedding. Especially when the event is so intimate that all the guests will be able to see my every reaction and there are no bridesmaids to hit on. Then again I’m not Wilbur, something I’ll have to remember a couple of Thursdays from now when I need something to be thankful for.
To get to the other side of the oil lamp.
Good joke. Everybody laugh. Roll on snare drum. Curtains.
@113 Artist formerly known as Ben: Why did the hobo clown jump over the (squints) oil lamp? To ignite the fuse on the TNT shoved up its ass.
@Baja Gaijin: We will also accept this answer.
Also want to take this opportunity to assert that I was responding to #39 astroboy but forgot to hit the button.
@TheDiva: Luann is at a community college. California higher education has shot up in cost but the community colleges are relatively low cost compared to the Cal State and University of California systems.
@Ukulele Ike:
Equally impressive catch. I was not aware of the band — that’s pretty neat. But since you nailed both the band and Junior Samples, I guess you’ve earned intergenerational plugger status!
@Baja Gaijin: Nothing says, “explosive diarrhea” like post-TNT suppository insertion.
@118 Baseball Biff: With EVILSCARYCLOWNS, I only care about the “explosive” part.
@Baja Gaijin: I hope you keep your distance. There could be great shit fallout.
@McManx: Yikes! Not sure as I like that. Anyway, the band kind of sucked, the Sha Na Na of Alt-country.
@Tabby Lavalamp: #56:
“in many states the highest paid state employee is a football coach”
Which must piss off the red flag waving, Internationale singing Bolsheviks that make up the rest of the university faculty and administrators to no end.
Calling it now, Truck is going to either actually die or almost die on that bench.
They’re setting up pathos by showing how in love him and Wanda are, it being Fall is a visual metaphor for life ending, all the color contrasts his snow-white beard, there’s dialogue emphasizing how old he is, and going on a nature walk with somebody you care about is CLEARLY some “you’re going to die soon so start enjoying the little things while you still have them” activity.
This Truck’s engine is going to stall on that bench. Write down that I called it, because it’s coming.
@BigTed: @Guillermo el chiclero: PV: Those mermaids hate Greg the magic spear but they love Lucky Eddie. Go figure.
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Its the funnel hat, fish chicks dig the funnel hat.
JP: Hank is now realizing, with dread, that Alaska is not nearly remote enough, and that he possibly needs to go camp on one of the Kerguelen Islands.
BB: Looking at the letter and vent on Beatle’s helmet are we left to assume they are the A-Holes?