Mary is about to enter her shut-in era and I’m here for it
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Six Chix, 12/1/24
Often after reading the daily Six Chix comic strip, I use this weblog to express opinions along the lines “I have no idea what the fuck is going on here and I hate it, this enrages me,” so in the interest of fairness I must also let you know when my reaction is “I have no idea what the fuck is going on here and I love it, this delights me to no end.” Today is one of those days! My favorite thing about the Santa Clams is that there are five of them.
Panel from Slylock Fox, 12/1/24
Not going to comment on the pathetically easy “mystery” here, but just want to point that Slylock was able to wrap up this entire adventure and capture the raccoon thief while Max was busy running around the hotel like an idiot. It would be hard to come up with a more damning demonstration of how superfluous Max is to this whole operation if you tried!
Mary Worth, 12/1/24
Mary is feeling better but still remaining home in strict isolation, on the safe assumption that any virus that could break through her hard exterior is so powerful that it would kill lesser humans instantly. I guess we’re supposed to think she has Zoom configured on her laptop so that you only see whoever’s talking and they take up the full screen when they do, which would be pretty disorienting honestly, but I’d like to imagine that she has three laptops set up and she’s having three one-on-one Zoom calls simultaneously, which would be much, much more disorienting.
Rex Morgan, M.D., 12/1/24
LOOK, REX MORGAN, M.D., IS TIRED OF YOUR COMPLAINTS ABOUT HOW MOST OF ITS STORIES ARE BORING NON-MEDICAL DRAMA AND EVEN THE MEDICAL ONES ARE ALSO BORING. HOW ABOUT SEEING AN OLD MAN STABBED IN THE GUT, HUH? IS THAT EXCITING ENOUGH FOR YOU? YOU WANNA SEE HIM BLEED OUT ON THE SIDEWALK? ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED, MEDICALLY?
166 replies to “Mary is about to enter her shut-in era and I’m here for it”
I AM ENTERTAINED, MEDICALLY! THIS IS BETTER THAN A COLONOSCOPY!
SF:
I’ve got it! — Max is a mouse; and, as a rodent, he lacks the cognition to know which floor is which.
RMMD:
“You’re lucky this isn’t Judge Parker, old man! — the violence would be even more gratuitous, and there’d be blood spurting all over!”
RMMD:
Hey, that’s not Buster! That’s McGruff — he just took a bite out of crime!
MW:
“Hello, Dahlia. Well, hello, Dahlia — it’s so nice to have food back where food belongs!”
RMMD: If you can yell out “Help! I’ve been stabbed!” you could have yelled out “Help! I’m about to be stabbed!”
MW-“No man is a failure except for Wilbur.”
MW:
I’ve picked up forks now for six decades. I don’t think I’ve ever picked one up using only the tips of my thumb and index finger.
SlyF: Who texts a photo of a three-digit number? Max owes Slylock a punch in the kidney for that alone.
MW: You know, Doctor, it’s really not charmingly humble to say you did the least you could do when that’s actually the case.
RMMD: This may be the fastest Rex’s medical advice has gotten someone killed since he instructed Justin to clear his throat blockages with a hunting revolver.
MW: ” It was the least we could do – literally! Now, we’ll need to see a doctor’s note before we’ll come within 50 feet of you again. Love you, Mary!”
RMMD: Downside: Merle will never want to take another walk, and the bad dudes will never get enough money to get their faces surgically un-scrunched.
On the upside, Merle knows EXACTLY what’s wrong with him this time.
SF: No, Ronan, it is NOT possible to do one @!!#% normal thing with these idiots. Does that answer your unspoken question?
Slylock Fox-Wrong floor number. Sure. Right. We all know that Max was there paying a special visit to a lady.
CS: Ed, you’re 105 years old. It’s a Biblical miracle that you can stand and dress yourself, much less garden, drive, work, start fires, hang from awnings, and everything else you get to. Dare I suggest that whatever you’re moping about isn’t that important?
Chix (sic): Lawton passes a Santa sign where the handwritten ‘u’ looks like an ‘m’
“OMG, it’s Santa Clams!“
MW: Dr. Jeff notices Mary eating her dessert with a canapé fork and immediately calls 911 after disconnecting.
Hurry! She’s nuts I tell ya.
DT: We interrupt this thrilling tale of electrical system repairs to bring you… a very Mike Curtis Minit Mystery from six years ago. This is extremely unfortunate, and not just because we have to endure two dull weeks of Mike Curtis ejaculating about his favorite forgotten comic characters from yesteryesteryesteryear. The only worthwhile part of Dick Tracy is ripping the absurd plots apart, and not only are we stuck waiting half a month for the story to resume, there’s a strong chance it will just get dropped entirely. The funny thing is, by remaining unfinished this is probably the strongest DT story in decades on a technical level: some weird European guy gets himself killed, everyone shrugs and goes back to their day jobs, the end.
JP: When will I ever learn my own lessons? Of course the tedious recap wasn’t going to end with Alan opening the door to a sight unseen. Alan and Randy didn’t even make it off the couch!
(Unironic good job to Mike Manley for a pretty decent throwaway still life of Thanksgiving leftovers. Better than anything we’ve seen from food-obsessed artists like Terry Beatty, June Brigman, and the Blondie clip-art assembly team.)
RMMD: Next Sunday’s big reveal shows Rex pulling the sheet over a just dead patient —the crook who dies of rabies caught from Merle’s dog bite. Rex, Lana, June, and Merle stand around the bed chuckling as Rex announces “Crime doesn’t pay” as the sheet falls.
For me, the best detail of Six Chix is “4 – 6 P.M.”. Yeah, I guess the best time to meet a bunch of clams in cute Santa hats is just before dinner, because after that they’ll be eaten!
RMMD: Naturally, I’m hearing blonde thug as sounding like Graham Chapman in the last panel.
RMMD: Another example of “Dogs are great!” they protect their owners from certain harm.
Except the dog didn’t and he gets stabbed anyway, but it’s the thought that counts. Still a good boy.
Six Chix: Well, I guess clams can be considered Christmas-y in their own way.
I mean with the Christmas shopping and deities aside.
You never heard Lewis Carroll’s poem “The Wal-Mart and the Carpenter”?
MW:
True to form, Toby pushes past Ian to hog the screen.
RMMD: why would this anorexic mugger in mom jeans attempt to mug a man with a dog? And this looks like a job for The Street Sweeper.
Six Chix, 12/1/24: MORE WORMY TURDS FROM SICK STUPID €UNTS!
6-C – I thought I’d heard of bearded clams somewhere….
SFx – Slylock is evidencing symptoms of adult onset dementia….
MW – Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
Dean Wormer
Adios Amigos, DJ.
MW – Add Zoom to the long, long list of Things That Karen Moy Does Not Understand How They Work
She needs to be reported to college management.
@BORED2DEATH: Sounds like you could use a knife in the gut.
Apparently, the Charterstone HOA bylaws were amended in April 2020 to require that all residents adopt flat pastel Zoom backgrounds. Wilbur is going to get cited and fined for that gradient fill.
Wow, what kind of inbred maniac mugs people in broad daylight in the suburbs? A grandma called the cops on those meth goblins ten minutes ago just for looking shady.
REX MORGAN M.D.: No Josh, I am not entertained medically. I will be entertained, however if Mr Lawton is wheeled in bleeding from the abdomen to Rex at the ER and Rex’s advice is still “just walk it off.”
MW – Dr. Jeff is channeling his inner Jeffrey Toobin.
Dustin – So Dustin’s dad never told him not to eat paint chips. That explains a lot.
So close. Slylock should have gone into the 6-9 room next door.
Slylock Fox:
“Hey, our armed hotel security just got tricked into swatting some innocent raccoon in room 806.”
“Sell it to that animal comic strip. Tell ’em it’s ripped from the headlines“.
MW top quote: “Do you realize what this means? It means bankruptcy and scandal and prison! That’s what it means! One of us is going to jail; well, it’s not gonna be me!”
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX:
MW – Dr. Jeff is channeling his inner Jeffrey Toobin.
Got the reference!
SLYLOCK FOX You’re also wrong about the mystery, Josh. The “pathetically easy mystery” is that Slylock did go to the wrong room and now the innocent raccoon is going to suffer so the vulpine sleuth can save face. The avian extras are right to look horrified at the unspeakable rights-violations that are about to take place.
RMMD — When you psych yourself up for an armed robbery by watching Monty Python and the Holy Grail. . . Can Rex tell the old guy “Tis but a flesh wound.”?
MW: “You’re very welcome, Mary. Enjoy your leftover takeout, and never let it be said that we didn’t do the least we could do.”
(Stolen and adapted from Hawkeye speaking to Hot Lips on the TV version of M*A*S*H.)
RMMD – That dog is going to be tweaking so hard with all that meth-tained blood in its system. I am not entertained medically, but I might be if the dog decides to hook up with a chemistry teacher and have wacky adventures in an RV while making its own stash.
Wary Morth:
In a far distant place, two viruses are talking.
Virus 1 (Rexovirus): “How come you’re back? Weren’t you going to infect some old biddy and kill her?”
Virus 2 (Junovirus): “God, don’t remind me.” [shudders hard enough to shed a few capsule proteins] “I thought it would be easy. I got into her, made her feel miserable, and then ate *started meddling me*. She began asking me about why I didn’t have any virus-spouse, what my life was life, and then began to organise my whole future for me, including which cells I should infect next!” [Shudders some more.] “I got out of there just in time.”
Rexovirus: “Poor thing, you need some rest and recreation. Let’s go infect that mugger who just got bitten when he stabbed an old man in the tummy. It’ll be fun!”
Edited:
@Ukranazi Stepan:
Wary Morth:
In a far distant place, two viruses are talking.
Virus 1 (Rexovirus): “How come you’re back? Weren’t you going to infect some old biddy and kill her?”
Virus 2 (Junovirus): “God, don’t remind me.” [shudders hard enough to shed a few capsule proteins] “I thought it would be easy. I got into her, made her feel miserable, and then she *started meddling me*. She began asking me about why I didn’t have any virus-spouse, what my life was like, and then began to organise my whole future for me, including which cells I should infect next!” [Shudders some more.] “I got out of there just in time.”
Rexovirus: “Poor thing, you need some rest and recreation. Let’s go infect that mugger who just got bitten when he stabbed an old man in the tummy. It’ll be fun!”
Flylock Socks:
The chickens in 609 were interrupted in the middle of 69.
Six Chix: Well, of course there are five clams in Santa hats! Good God, man, don’t you ever read the Bible?
Slylock Fox: Who cares about the “about-to-be” robbery in 608? We want to know.what those guilty looking chickens were up to in 609 (or, as dumbass would text it “in uncharacteristic haste” upside down, “609”).
RMMD: The schmuck yelling “RUN AWAY!” is the most hilarious thing in the comics today or on any other day! I love it!
@jroggs: It makes perfect sense. Slylock has to text a picture of the number to Max because Max can’t read.
(walks away, hands in pockets, whistling)
RMMD: Floppy-haired semi-sleeveless T-shirt dude looks so sad about the proceedings. Turn that frown upside down! You haven’t yet been stabbed or bitten!
MW: I guess we are lucky that Mary’s crippling illness lasted two weeks less than Wilbur mourning a fish.
Was hoping she’d host Thanksgiving anyway and get everyone else sick. Typhoid Mary Worth.
RMMD: I’m wondering what purpose the black haired guy doing nothing has. Did the blond guy bring him just for moral support?
Mary Worth: I haven’t read 1984 lately, but isn’t that how Big Brother got his start?
@Hibbleton:
#13. 6CX:. I’ve seen that sign a dozen times!
@nescio: You mean, immoral?
But they were, all of them, deceived, for another Santa Clam was made.
MW: I’m used to Mary getting praised even when she does absolutely nothing, but this is a whole new level.
RMMD: We’re about to get a repeat of the Kitty Genovese story, aren’t we?
SFx: “Accidentally,” riiiiiight. Slylock saw a way to keep his idiot partner from getting underfoot for a change and dammit he was going to use it.
REX MORGAN M.D.: Finally, I think everyone is wrong about the dog trying to save his owner. More like the dog is actually the ringleader and the “brains” behind this whole crime. After all, if the mutt didn’t bite Stabby Uglyface as a “wake-up call”, he would have just stood there like a dope at the scene of the crime with the bloodstained weapon instead of sensibly running away.
REX MORGAN M.D. (2): I also love how shocked Knifecrime’s partner is. Wait, he’s thinking, did something actually HAPPEN here?! That’s not the way it’s supposed to go down in the REXverse! I was told we were going to SCARE the old guy off until he bored us out of it with stories from his Korean soap operas, or how his undercooked meatloaf tasted at the local retro diner or something. (Somewhat) interesting turns of events is NOT what I signed up for!
RMMD-THÉNARDIER said it better than “run away!” ahem:
Don’t wait around
Make for the sewers
Go underground!
RMMD: I was hoping one of these strips would be livened up with some knifework, but I was really pulling for it to be Crankshaft.
SFx – Clearly Slylock is messing with Max. Next, he’s going to send him up to the thirteenth floor and wait for further instructions.
Family Circus: Is this going to be like the David Fincher movie “Seven”? Is there a decapitated head in that bag?
Zits: Jeremy we already know you have an oedipus complex, you don’t need this elaborate setup just to show your mom your junk
Curtis: “My mom undercooked the turkey, I have salmonella poisoning and explosive diarrhea”
Hi and Lois: HaHa, she’s had a psychotic break
Beetle Bailey: Cookie worked really hard on that grey sludge
RMMD: Panel 3 reveals that Grimacing Thug can extend his neck like a periscope, the better to hunt for prey and avoid police. Impressive!
6-C: As a former teacher, I think I know exactly where this came from. One of the Chix saw some bad hand-printing, in which a lower-case “u” was written so sloppily that it started to look like an “m.” And she thought, “Huh. Putting that down in the notebook where I keep oddball ideas and observations so that I can select the best one and turn it into a comic.”
As a current reader of Six Chix, I think I know exactly where this came from. One of the Chix took out her notebook of random ideas, intending to select the best one to turn into a comic strip, and then thought, “Ah, fuck it. Let’s just go with Santa Clams.”
6Chx – WTF? Santa Clams that aren’t even bearded?!?!
SlyF – Looking at that solution, I think “you need to tighten up your prose, buddy, ‘Max is an idiot’ is only three words and requires no suspension of disbelief.”
RMMD – And the moral of the story is that fresh air and exercise will kill you even faster than watching TV. Gotcha!
Dustin: Dustdad wants his son to die of lead poisoning.
Luann: Luann puts a lot of thought into being thoughtless.
Pluggers have severe aphasia.
RMMD: In spite of this strip’s reputation as being one in which nothing related to medicine actually happens, now we have a double medical crisis! Will the mugger and the muggee both wind up being treated in the ER simultaneously? How will Rex do the triage to decide which one needs the prostate exam first?
RMMD – Dog bites man is not news. Man stabs man is…yeah, I guess that’s news.
JP: Judge Parker has no reflection in that mirror. Along with that malevolent expression and his Bride-of-Frankenstein hair coloring, I’m beginning to think his admonition to Randy “not to scream” means Randy is about to see something undead in the basement, or they’re going down to the basement freezer for some ice cream.
Pluggers It’s funny because grandpa is having a stroke.
Rex Morgan: I accidentally read the last panel first, and in my head, I heard Graham Chapman yelling “Run away!” in exactly the voice he used in Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
SFx: Say what you will about the mystery, but that is one hell of a nicely rendered elevator panel there.
MW: So, it’s clear from this Zoom call that Ed and Stell, Zak and Iris, and Keith and his ex had not been invited to Mary’s Thanksgiving dinner party. She clearly severs relationships immediately after the parties involved reach a state of happiness, cultivating only the dysfunctional ones as friends. It’s like a sourdough starter mix!
Slylock Fox: Like in George Orwell’s 1984, a major aspect of the animal dystopia is that you never actually know when you’re being watched or by who or even what sort of activity is deemed to be proof of guilt, creating a sense of paranoia that helps the surveillance apparatus keep people in line. In this case, this random raccoon who probably wasn’t even doing anything is dragged out of his room and beaten by the police on the spurious accusation of some power-tripping informant in the hotel, probably that duck doorman. Ducks are always snitches.
Mary Worth: Those are totally just chatbots that Mary is pretending are her social group.
Rex Morgan: Beavis and Butthead commit their gang-initiation murder.
Six Chix: Santa Claus : Filtering out naughty kids :: Sandy Clams : Filtering…the waters of that tiny, not-sandy container? I guess? Congratulations, Six Chix! You have once again broken the boundaries of logic!
Six Chix: “Santa Clams” is some sorta typoed version of “Santa Claus,” except they’re nowhere near each other on a keyboard. I dunno, maybe cursive was involved? And maybe the sign had magic powers, like Silent E?
Slylock Fox and Comics for Kids: Great job, kids! Now solve the mystery of why — and how — the elevator and rooms are at an oblique angle!
@seismic-2: That’s exactly what I expect to happen. Cousin Merle shows up at the ER and inbetween grimaces and gurgles from his evisercated intestines chokes out that the dog bit the knifer. Rex (who of course is pulling ER duty at that exact moment) strokes his chin, puts on his best pissyface, and says ‘Dog Bite?? Why, I just treated this young man with a dog bite!’
Cue Rex, Cousin Merle (who is still bleeding out) and a conveniently placed cop bursting into the exam room where Stabby McStabber is getting his arm bandaged.
‘That’s him! That’s him!’
‘Yer under arrest, young man!’
‘Curses, foiled by the power of love a dog has for his master!’
There, I just saved all of us several weeks of reading.
*Bonus points if Stabby leads everyone on on a merry chase through the hospital and hides in the room where Rene Belluso’s decaying corpse is still inside his full-body cast.
JP: Did the syndicate get the strips out of order or something? Tomorrow are we going to see everyone back at the table stuffing their faces like a Mayonnaise of Wilburs? Maybe on Tuesday we’ll finally see Ann’s alleged murder victim chained up in the basement.
SFx – Whatever those two chickens were doing in symbolically-numbered Room 609, it involves an egg, does not belong in a family comic strip, and might possibly interest the vice squad.
Rex Morgan, M.D.: I love the bored-looking guy in the A-shirt. He’s got better things to do, like working on his 1978 Le Baron before his shift at Baskin-Robbins. But eh, what’re you going to do? When your buddy needs money for a better haircut, you go along.
6C: The theory posited by @Hibbleton and others that Lawton saw “Claus” as “Clams” when written in cursive sounds very plausible, and looking at her signature, it was probably her own cursive.
SFx: @ectojazzmage: That duck is a cop, not a doorman. He’s been staking out room 608 all day, ready to catch the trash bandit red-handed with some stolen loot. Thanks to the town vigilante, though, he can only book him for the much lesser charge of trespassing.
@The Quiet Man: @seismic-2: I’m trying to decide if it’s better or not to be surprised by a Rex Morgan plot. On the whole, I think not. But then, it’s been so long since we’ve had the alternative, it’s hard to say.
@74 The Quiet Man: A Mayonnaise of Wilburs. The scariest phrase I’ve seen on this site. The existence of this collective noun implies multiple Wilburs exist. Multiple. More than one. Wilbur. [shudder]
Don Abundio, translated:
“We’re facing a difficult problem! We want to speak to the boss right away!”
“I’m sorry. He’s golfing”
“We need his advice! Can’t you get him?”
“I’ll try”
“This is only a par 3, just play it down the left side of the conference table”
RM: “OW”? That’s all we get for the stab wound? I think “YOUCH!” with several more exclamation points would really punch up this episode. I’m not even going to address the “BARK BARK”.
A mayonnaise of Wilburs
A meddle of Marys
A Mope of Dawns
A Binge of Tobys
A Harrumph of Ians
A Blueball of Jeffs
A Gram of Madis
A Teenth of Tommys
A Gravy of Zaks
A Handcart of Mr. Alloras
Oops, hand truck not hand cart
@Bob Tice: heh heh heh “Bite outta crime!” Good one, BT – hope you don’t mind if I use that sometime…
Wow, would ya look at that heroic performance by Buster! And he got all his lines perfect and on cue! I’m tellin’ ya, this guy is going places! Maybe after the ne’er-do-well ruffians? Notice how he builds suspense here – seeming to hesitate in the moment. Should he give chase, or go get help for his beloved master, or stand vigil over Merle’s bleeding body? Decisions, decisions!
Oh, don’t worry – the Bad Guy’s arm was thoroughly disinfected before the scene, and while it looks like Buster really chomped down, he really only scratched the surface. That’s ACTING for ya. Plus we’ll cover him with antibiotics just in case..
@But What Do I Know?: Thank you, that needed to be said!
PV: Decades ago, I would have been on Team Val, mentally roaring approval with tankard in hand. Now I’m on Team Arn, mentally thumping my cane and knowing these two drunken louts are going to cause disaster. It’s the Great Cantankerous Circle of Life.
@astroboy: Oooh, nice!
@astroboy: There is actually a Zoom setting to automatically switch the full screen to whoever’s talking. I’ve seen it used in big meetings, and it is every bit as terrible as you would imagine.
Those two (let’s face it, this is Terry Beatty’s art here) teen delinquents are in trouble now!
DT: Seriously, what is going on at Dick Tracy HQ? This is the second time they’ve had to interrupt a guest story for a rerun of another guest story. Remember when J. Straightedge Trustworthy went into reruns, and everyone in-universe instantly assumed correctly that Vera Alldid had been kidnapped? In the real world, I assume it’s something less dramatic, like Costello suddenly realising that he needs some idea how the Nazi building company, the explosives expert who specifically wasn’t working for the Nazi building company, and the mysterious clock tower all fit together before he can write the next bit.
FC: Billy is an idiot who doesn’t understand common terms of phrase, sure. But interesting how he’s especially that when it gives him an excuse to push his sister over and steal from her. Dennis should be taking notes.
FG: “For most of my life the only other lion I saw was in the mirror.” TIL that Lion Men fail the mirror test.
Heath: I’m glad we had that discussion about Christmas ham earlier in the week, so I know exactly how horrific I should find this.
PV: Ah, flyting, aka Actual Epic Rap Battles of History.
@FrivYeti: Wow. My experience with Zoom has been limited, but I’m certain the use of that setting would shut me up like a clam. Maybe it’s employed as a strategic weapon against those of us who tend to overshare:-).
Rex Morgan, MILF Diver – Busterhymen the dog bit Grimace McGrimacy in the forearm. So why is he holding his shoulder? This would be a good one for Slylock.
@bartorama: I’m imagining they are using the Metal Slug voice clips for this.
SLYLOCK: The universe created by the animals is no Utopia, but it is impressive in some ways. Species that didn’t get along before are now co-existing in relative harmony. The chickens, for example, seem to feel okay staying in a hotel with a raccoon next door and a fox-based law-enforcement system.
RMMD: It’s not that I enjoy the sight of blood, but blood does help to convey the concept of lacerated skin. I don’t need that for a stab wound, but it would make the dog bite more convincing.
Why is Estelle not on this call? Well, she’s microwaving turkey in the veterinarian office, while Ed is operating on some animals.
JP: Randy, avoiding moments like this is what estrangement is for.
Mara Llave: Keister of Time: Mara is up to her old time-twistin’ shenanigans again, only providing a new episode every TWO weeks. ML:KOT — so much action and excitement, it’s as if time were standing still.
@Baja Gaijin: I know I’m pushing back against CCC cannon, but I’ve always seen Wilbur as more of a Miracle Whip kinda guy….
6Cx: Yeah, those are our Clams… and it’s all because of a big misunderstanding. They told my Intern they needed a Clam quintet for a Christmas gig. So he naturally figured it was gonna be a whimsical scene with the Musical Mollusks singing “Silent Night” …. “all is Clam, all is bright..”
But as you see, it was a different word mix-up, and our clients did not get to perform their signature number, and to top it off, they had to wear silly Santa hats! At least it wasn’t Christmas Chowder…
@Bob Tice: Work it like a claw.
PV; First, mysterious beings, then a magical sword rescue, then rocking out a celebration and now, a fire dance.
It didn’t take long for ‘Prince Valiant’ to go from “In the days of King Arthur” to the Burning Man Festival.
Meanwhile, back at Court:
Were Knights of the Round Table
We dance when’ere we’re able
We do routines & chorus scenes
With footwork im-pecc-ay-ble
We dine well here in Camelot
We eat ham & jam & Spam-a-lot
@Poteet: Harrumph! Harrumph!
(Thump Thump Thump)
@Cleveland Mocks: Wow, Jeffrey Toobin. When he’s not whacking off on Zoom calls between The New Yorker and WNYC radio or siring out-of-wedlock children with much younger ladies, he’s busy being re-hired by CNN as their top legal an@lyst and getting forgiven by his actual wife.
There’s only one dumbfuck in creation luckier and less deserving than he is, and THAT guy moves back into the White House next month.
“Remember, no man is a failure who has friends!”
“What about people bad at socialising?”
“Let them rip!”
You know who else besides Merle should get more exercise? Merle’s dog! Do something about your reflexes and speed and maybe bite the arm BEFORE the thug has time to stab and extract the knife!
The full-sized pie slice in panel 3 is virtually identical to the tiny pie bite perching on Mary’s micro-fork in panel 4, and the drawings are almost the same sizes as well. Taken in context panel 4 is a surrealist masterpiece of scale and dimension. Good work, Mary Worth copy-paste artist!
More on those fabulous new Comics Kingdom comic strips: Y’know, I don’t mind so much the gormless dialogue/monologues in Willy Black, but why are all his characters so damn UGLY? The title character is some sort of subnormal noseless monsterman in overalls, fine, but his wife is stone cold UGLY and his teenage daughter is stone cold UGLY and today we learn that she attends a school packed with teenaged girls who are stone cold UGLY.
I’m gonna pitch this one down the rotten nut chute along with Candorville and Frazz and Tina’s Groove and Veruca Salt.
RMMD: Soon Rex works on the case with Hawkeye Pierce: “Are you sure you found everything, Rex? I’m getting a whiff of bowel here.”
PV: Looks like Arn is going to inherit the Singing Sword sooner than he thought.
Sunday Phantom: Well, I’m back this week, dahlings, but they’ve given the spotlight to the guest-starring Barb Horses of Morocco. Actually they’re a pretty decent group, a good work ethic, and generally well-tempered. And I’ll just remain in the background, in the flattering low light of the moon and the fire. It really takes less make-up this way.
I had some hope of moving out of this blazing desert and into the “river country” where there’s more shade, but you just know that Stripey II will want to help the Songhai captain rescue his kidnapped child! He’s got a real hero complex.. so I guess we’ll be riding back through the desert to Morocco. But I signed up for what I hope will be a long-term gig of Adventure, so I can’t complain.
And they seen to have forgotten about Horses back in Medieval Times with Prince Valiant. It’s just as well the Equines don’t have to witness that drunken frat boy fire nonsense. “Here, hold my mead”…
Mary has the world’s smallest slice of pumpkin pie on her fork.That must have been Dr Jeffy’s contribution to her feast.
@Guillermo el chiclero: I thought Eddie Valiant inherited the Singing Sword.
”But it’s Witchcraft….wicked Witchcraft….and although….I know….it’s strictly taboooooooo….”
@White Rabbit: Got the reference! That episode of MASH when Hawkeye was temporarily blinded by an explosion by a wood stove (Wizard did it!) And said, “Morgan! I swear I’m a better surgeon blind then you are with both your beady little eyes working!” and Ferret Face said, “Well, at least I didn’t fart on the Nurses’ stove and made it blow up!”, before going back to rigging baseball games to win bets.
To learn more about the Korean War consult your local Me-TV station. They’ll help you watch more about it.
I used to think the cape and deerstalker cap was part of Sherlock Holmes cosplay, but now that we know that Slylock Fox’s idea of sending a text message is to write the message down on paper and then send a photograph of the paper, I’m starting to wonder of Slylock just thinks the cap and cape are still in style.
@108 Ukulele Ike:
Also, they haven’t had a new episode of Mara Llave since November 17.
Fifty years ago today an “energy-environment simulator” predicted the end of the world in 200 years and newspaper readers learned the equally shocking news that Elmer Fudd is a regular customer at a restaurant run by Bugs Bunny.
Suddenly, out of nowhere when you least expect it, comes JUNGLE JIM!
It seems Jim will be cleaning up the blood.
RMMD – Man…sad to see the depths that Jughead Jones has sunk to….
Each of these strips today is terrible:
Six Chix typically looks like somebody did a rough sketch of the first idea they had and decided that an hour of work that week was good enough, and today is a particularly nonsensical version of that.
In Slylock Fox, how does one text an upside-down photo accidentally? The whole thing is painfully contrived.
Mary Worth is just bizarrely pointless and sentimental, I cannot fathom who the audience for it is.
And Rex Morgan, like all of the melodrama soaps, is incomprehensible if you don’t know who any of the characters are, and why would you?
@120 Jeffmcm: Don’t edit yourself, Jeff. Tell us what you really feel.
@Sequitur: I think this is the same Mara Llave that ran last Sunday, and the previous one ran for two weeks also. I was initially confused because both those strips feature the same four characters, standing in the same positions, saying pretty much the same stuff.
’Scuse me while I go light a candle for Dan Schkrade’s continued health and well-being and ability to keep writing/drawing Flash Gordon, in which people do and say different interesting things every day*. Maybe this week Dale and Dova will go skinny-dipping together, or try on fascinating lingerie.
*Yeah, okay, today was a rehash of last week. Maybe ol’ Dan was too full of turkey and stuffing to come up with something new. He’ll get better tomorrow.
RMMD. Sucks to be Merle but at least dying on the street is better than living through another mandatory roots country concert.
@122 Ukulele Ike:
According to Comics Kingdom, the last time a new Mara Llave came out was November 17.
@Ukulele Ike: This.
@Sequitur: Who you gonna believe, me or those fuckers at Comics Kingdom?
(Upon further an@lysis, the Nov. 10 strip ran two weeks straight, the Nov. 17 strip showed up last week, and is repeated today. Masters of the Chrono-Synclastic Infundibulum, indeed)
@Where’s Rocky?: “Sucks to be Merle but at least dying on the street is better than living through another mandatory
roots country concert.Rex Morgan strip.”@Ukulele Ike: Sunday Flash Gordon is always a recap of the previous week; this was the case with the previous artist’s run (Jim Keefe, from 1996-2003), as well.
At least Dan Schkade keeps these recaps interesting by framing them in the specific POV of a different character, each week.
Stabbing people before you even give them a chance to give you their money, is very counterproductive to mugging.
To quote a line from a courtroom drama, in which a man (who just happened to be deep in debt with a loan-shark) was murdered and his wife was the prime suspect.
“Maybe the loan-shark was the murderer?”
“Loan-sharks don’t kill you, they wouldn’t be able to collect if they did.”
@Garrison Skunk: “That episode of MASH when Hawkeye was temporarily blinded by an explosion by a wood stove”
He also went hysterically blind once, but was cured by Dr. Sidney Freedman, who could fix up any mental problem in about five minutes, possibly the world’s greatest psychiatrist. Also I think Ferret Face’s name was Frank J. Burns. He once signed a letter to his wife, “Yours truly, your husband, Frank J. Burns, Jr., Major, U.S.Army Medical Corps.”
PV: This reminds me of those news stories you always hear when two drunken oafs come to a bad end. The mayhem is usually preceded by the words “drinking with friends” and “Hey, watch this!”
Run away!
@The Mighty Captain E:
My men don’t know the meaning of the word ‘retreat’!
@White Rabbit: Or capitulation….
@The Rambling Otter: I blame Merle. He was restraining the dog from attacking Derrick and Onion for some reason, and only once he was stabbed was the dog free to attack. At least the dog was able to protect Merle’s wallet which contains Merle’s insurance card without which Rex would leave him for dead, so yes, Good Boy!
Baja may not want to do anything with this but I know some of you want to see Wilbur again.
Fred Basset Spanish to English.
AAGGGHHHH: New Yorkers. Am I right?
RMMD: Correction: That’s not a knife, but a letter opener. I have one that looks exactly like it. It has fine sawtooth edges and would probably be a dangerous weapon. The blade isn’t very strong, though, and could be bent or broken barehanded.
@136 Sequitur: We’re onto a new storyline. My mashup interest has been renewed. I already finished one mashup and have an idea for another.
@141 Baja Gaijin:
Good! Lookin’ forward to seeing ’em.
WUMO: It’s the red one… no, wait, the blue one! Oh, just ask Colonel Klink and do the opposite.
mw its the least we can do after all you’ve done mary and we didn’t drug the food either. all knowing that next thanksgiving mary will be back hosting and ruling again.rmmd if nothing else he got some excitement and looks like he may be getting that treadmill after all
Slylock Fox makes a mistake! What is the world coming to?
I thought Mary was talking to framed photos of the people because she was hallucinating. Zoom has taken the fun out of everything.
The strip B.C. uses clams as cash. The Walrus and the Carpenter sang to ’em, then ate ’em. Being a Santa Clam is a short-term gig is what I’m saying.
Is the dog in Rex Morgan the type that won’t let anyone near his wounded master, who will bleed out before anyone can get to him? That’s one way to close a storyline.
Oysters.
The Walrus and the Carpenter ate the oysters. With pepper and vinegar.
Come to think of it, I haven’t eaten a raw clam in years….only baked, stuffed Rhode Island-style, Casino, Posillipo. Now I want some.
More pie than she’s ever offered him.
Mr Webber did a good job in picking out an interesting hallway corridor wallpaper design for the (literal) Chicken Ranch. Where’s Chicken Dolly Parton as the Madam?
@White Rabbit: RMMD: Correction: That’s not a knife,
____________________
…..”THAT’S a knife…”, Paul Hogan
@Ettorre: On one hand, I definitely see your point. On the other hand, if the dog had been a little faster, the dog might have been the one who got stabbed, and I prefer Merle as the victim. (Good doggy! Smart doggy!) Of course the biggest schmuck in the scene is the blond perp, who, after stabbing someone for no good reason, appears to have dropped his knife in the last panel, the knife that has his fingerprints. Way to go!
Six Rankin Bass Chix present “Santa Clams Are Coming To Town” as narrated by the head of Milton Bearle
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.
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The Six Chix would like to thank The Head Museum for their kindness in loaning Mr Bearle’s head to the completion of this program.Without their help this iconic holiday special would ultimately be nothing more then just a weird post on a comic blogger’s blog. The Head Museum, preserving history since 2069!
@Sequitur: Better Tampa than here. Enjoy, Tampanians! Just kidding, deep sympathies, folks.
@Poteet: (Good doggy! Smart doggy!)
______________
…..little ball of fur…
@151 Poteet:
I have a nephew who lives in Tampa. I quess I should warn him.
@149 Poteet:
The only eas the dog could react was his leash was dropped after the stabbing.
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: More pie than she’s ever offered him.
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Santa Royale Clam is coming……to town……..
“HEY EVERYONE! CLAMS GOT SANTA HATS!” “Now I must kill him.”, Classic ” B.C.” (adapted)
FC – Billy! That bag contains all the world’s troubles, ills, and evils!
Scratchy’s Scratch It Or Not! :On December 1st 2024, Scrappy Comedy (formally DECADES Network) aired an episode of “Make Room For Daddy” that co-starred noted nasal comedians Danny Thomas and Jimmy Durante which featured no big nose jokes at ether of their expenses …Scratch It Or Not……….!
@Peanut Gallery: FC – Billy! That bag contains all the world’s troubles, ills, and evils!
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…and Dolly’s missing nostril!
@157 Peanut Gallery: That bag seems to small to contain the cast of Judge Parker and Crankshaft.
Hagar: “What’s That Smell?” was Goodson /Todman’s biggest bomb since “The Match Game /Hollywood Squares Hour”.
@161 Garrison Skunk:
But the home version of “What’s That Smell?” was very popular.
@162 Sequitur: I wouldn’t play that with Marvin Miller.
MW: I know it’s really a matter of Brigman not wanting to draw everyone in those tiny squares like they’d be on a Zoom call, but the way it is it looks like Mary has surrounded herself with 3-4 laptops like a madwoman.
RMMD: The deformed blond guy has to run away empty-handed, with a dog bite on his arm, because he stabbed a guy in broad daylight. Glenwood’s criminal class is irredeemably stupid. Rene needs to come back and do some Fagining.
SFx: Luckily for Slylock, the note came from the burglar, who wanted to be punished. Sicko.
9CL: If Sylvester McCoy’s version of the Doctor ever talked about rectums Amos would be…Well, he might be fixated on something other than Edda, so maybe?
Curtis: Happy December, Gunther! Hope you’re up for hearing about the Wilkins family’s experience with salmonella and/or e. coli.
DT: They’re not calling this break from the Totten storyline a “Minit Mystery” because there’s no way to wrap it up in two weeks and have it make sense. Dick Tracy goes to visit the Ajax Man at Archie Bunker’s house and meets a dead member of his rogue’s gallery. It already makes no sense.
JP: Uh-oh. Alan and Randy are in a time loop. And it’s not just them. The Thanksgiving turkey looks like it might be coming back to life.
Shoe: Seems like Treetops should have enough carrion birds in its population to keep this one afloat.
@Ukulele Ike: Yup, got my shellfish mixed up. If the oysters had been clams W&C probably would have eaten them anyway. Still, the poem says oysters, so oysters it’s got to be.