Some gross stuff today, not gonna lie
Post Content
Crock, 2/3/25
Look, man: if you’re going to do a comic about a restaurant where they serve flies instead of fries, I think you can get away with just having the customer indignantly pointing at his plate, which is swarming with flies, and saying “I thought I get fries with this.” That could be it! That could be the whole comic. If you’re still not sure that people are getting it, I guess you could have a waiter saying “Oh, that’s a misprint on the menu.” A little on the nose, but sure. What you don’t need is an entire second panel where you spell out the joke in very literal detail. And look, probably the smart cynics will say, “Oh, you’ll never go broke underestimating the intelligence of Crock readers,” but as a daily Crock reader myself, I am telling you, we are capable of getting jokes! You don’t need to be so condescending. Reading Crock every day is punishment enough, the least you could do is treat us with common decency.
Blondie, 2/3/25
You know Blondie spent several minutes outside the door, gathering herself and preparing herself emotionally to see Dagwood sitting in a bathtub full of hearty soup, slurping it up with a big ladle or maybe just his hands. Honestly what she’s seeing in panel three is a best-case scenario, Dagwood-wise.
Six Chix, 2/3/25
Here’s some snowpeople engaging in straight-up cannibalism! Pretty messed up, in my opinion.
122 replies to “Some gross stuff today, not gonna lie”
Did Crock get an artist? Someone who actually draws things? I see a facial expression. I see hands that are forming discernible positions and not just loopy squiggles. I see — well, not exactly a detailed background, but recognizable features. I mean, that’s a three-dimensional round table! Someone put more than three seconds of attention into this art, and it shows. What crazy times we live in.
MW: That was abrupt. What, between yesterday’s strip and today’s, did Mary just say “Eh, whatever. Not touching that one.” and kick Dawn out of her condo?
Crock Panel 1: Not going to lie, I thought that he was turning into some sort of bird. It was surreal.
Chix (sic): Bannerman’s been reading Ozymandias, I see.
The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed:
Or in this case…hip?
@Noel: I would call it plot whiplash, but everything about Mary Worth is whiplash.
CROCK: An old joke of my dad’s: Customer asks for raisin pie. Waitress, waving hands over pie: “That’s not raisin, it’s custard.”
MW: Oh, spare me. Jared WANTS a repeat of that double date dumpster fire? Jess didn’t lay down the law to him? Is EVERYONE in this abusive relationship?
Do flies live in the desert? I have no idea. The only desert fauna I know is the Sandworm and the Muad’Dib
Zits: I had to look it up but apparently Dill flavored Pringles were discontinued in 2022 but are now available again.
Mother Goose: I was worried for a second that this was going to be a joke about urinary incontinence
Hi and Lois: She is clearly suffering from some kind of psychological problem, possibly dementia, maybe get her some help instead of making wisecracks
Slylock Fox: At some point you have to think that if these woodland citizens are this gullible that they deserve to be ripped off. Sorry but they aren’t going to learn any other way.
Remember when Mary Worth was tolerable?
I mean, years back it was still bad but in a fun way, not in a “makes me want to vomit with rage” way.
I think it was around when Joe Geilla left that Wilbur started becoming a slobby obnoxious caricature of himself and it went downhill from there.
Blondie: The boss: “OMG, you were finally able to sell those horrible soup scented candles!. Quick. Go get those lasagna ones out of the dumpster.”
BF:. I was going to emote about lazy people not putting in a little effort to make a new pot of coffee. Then remembered it’s afternoon. Which is ruder, drinking the last cup and not making a new pot or making a new pot when you’re the only one who will take a cup?
GA:. Got it! Predicted he’d be grandfathered in two weeks ago. But now for solving problem of over reaching HOA….
MW:. Second time we’ve seen Dirk with a beer. Guess that means he’s an alcoholic. Will he soon meet Tommy at AA?
TG:. As a friend surmised at a potluck, “it either goes to waste or to waist.”
SNOW:. Good heavens, all the comic today have snow in them. Must they remind us Phil saw his shadow yesterday?
@UncleJeffers: “Wow, Mr. Reeky you sure have a trustworthy name. Take all of my money, also here’s my credit card with pin number and my social security number.”
9 Snatchweed Lane – Does Lollly’s foul-smelling frigate mean what I think it means?
MART WORTH: And here’s Dawn voluntarily spending time with both Dirk and Jared. Gross!
6C: Call it a deli because they’re serving cold cuts.
@Activist: In southern Canada where I live, our Groundhog (named Wairton Willie) didn’t see his shadow.
PARADOX!!!!
@MKay: “abusive heteronormative polycule” sounds like something that would exist in Charterstone, and be supported (though not participated in) by Mary.
FC: Billy’s clenched fist tells us exactly who made mommy so tired. One more word and Jeffy’s about to get another of his many fat lips.
@UncleJeffers: Mother Goose and Grimm: Marvin’s associates came to Mike Peter’s door, words were exchanged, clubs were brandished in a threatening manner. It will never happen again.
ANIMAL ACTORS ARE BACK!
Glad to see the flies in Crock and dog in Rw/O today. Hope writers are how much they add to the script…and increase clicks. Again, I’m hoping for a couple bears in JP.
LUANN: Since you’re about to get fired anyway, Tiff, offer to “seal the deal” by doing Kip right there on top of the tables. That way he wouldn’t miss Stef at all.
Curtis: Isn’t Barry supposed to be in kindergarten? I don’t know if there’s ever been a point in history where a child of this age has ever used the phrase “dolling up” like a 1920s gangster
Dustin: I thought the reason why Dustin is an incel and repugnant to women was because of his behavior and personality. Apparently he is also physically unattractive as well. At least there’s a pretty funny “Hair Force” pun to distract us from just how pathetic Dustin’s life is.
MW: Dawn has become Gollum. Luckily for Dirk’s fingers, instead of holding the one ring, he only wields the most anemic can of beer ever.
MW – This strip just continues to lurch along from day to day like an undead zombie. Last we saw Dirk he was grabbing Dawn’s arm and calling her something in grawlix bad enough to make her gasp out loud. Now she’s sitting in his lap and making with the “babe” crap again. Mary showed up with muffins and a brief, half-hearted meddle that Moy seems to have lost interest in completing. No flow, no attempt at coherence, no point to any of it.
Blondie: Why would Dagwood say “not exactly” rather than no? Is he eating the candles? Was he eating them? In the latter case, did he stop because gumbo-scented wax doesn’t have the taste and texture of true gumbo, or because of mouth and throat burns?
Crock: Finally found an apt image to go with Thurber’s quote of Nat Wills:
“…ate some burnt hoss flesh…”
Okay fine, Crock readers have enough intelligence to get the joke without needing it to be explained to them. But what about people who think Crock is funny?
@Hibbleton: “Maybe you can pawn them off on this Arbuckle guy with the cat.”
@MKay: I truly hate to give Jared (or Moy) any credit at all, but if you have a friend in an abusive relationship, it is advised that you keep up the friendship so the victim has somewhere to turn when they realize they need help.
Crock: Look on the bright side – at least the burger means this isn’t the usual kind of “fries”/”flies” joke that’s racist towards the Chinese. My standards for Crock are sufficiently low that I’ll class this as a win (and not think too deeply about the waiter’s hooded eyes and Fu Manchu mustache).
6C: “In recent years, we at Six Chix have showcased new young artists who’ve enlivened the strip with their fresh, youth-led takes on the female millennial experience. For you, our loyal readers, this was a change too far. We hear you, and we’re returning the strip to its roots. Pervert snowmen! Enjoy these sick frozen freaks and their vore games, piss-play, unsafe BDSM, dick measuring, consensual humiliation, snuff watching, and just plain brutal death! Forever and ever and ever!
Baby Blues: By the time Hammie is old enough for employment with the Postal Service all of the letter carrier jobs will be replaced with AI robots that can do the work much more efficiently.
Pearls Before Swine: It’s a nitpick but if a car has 4 flat tires it shouldn’t be able to roll.
@Chance: I for one enjoy the soldier’s magnificent black tail feathers.
That Crock comic strip has a copyright date of 2012.
@The Rambling Otter: Wilbur had one normal arc after Brigman took over the art. His newspaper had asked him to travel the world interviewing disaster survivors. He asked Iris to accompany him, but this was right after Tommy’s Vicodin addiction arc, so she said no. They amicably parted ways and agreed to take a break.
Then Wilbur’s next plot was getting grifted by Fabiana, coming home early, and peeping on Iris and Zak from the bushes. The rest is history. I can’t decide if Moy deciding to make Wilbur terrible was a coincidence, or if she realized that Wilbur looked like a big manbaby in Brigman’s art style and leaned into it.
Blondie: If I were better at Photoshop, I could draw in Dagwood’s throbbing, tumescent candle-scent approval. Fortunately I’m not, but I think we can all agree that’s the direction this is headed. (North, so to speak.)
Six Chix: Just be glad that the frozen treat wasn’t a rocket popsicle and two snowballs.
Crock: Those are some big eyes that the flies are making in that second panel. Clearly they were not aware of this arrangement either, and are shocked at the betrayal.
Blondie: Daisy, loyal as ever, is keeping a watch on Dagwood in the all-too-likely chance that he OD’s on soup fumes and starts drowning in the bathtub.
6Cx: Anyone else spend way too long trying to figure out what a ‘Bannerman’ might have to do with a pack of cannibalistic snowmen? Is the writer so proud of this one that she had to sign it three times, and that large?
Even older joke:
Guys hang out at this store because the young woman behind the counter is shapely and stupid. When she wears a short dress, the guys take turns asking for a loaf of raisin bread, because it’s on the top shelf and she has to climb the ladder to get it.
They do it one at a time so she has to keep going up and down the ladder. Finally, when she’s at the top and getting another loaf of raisin bread, she asks the final guy in the group, “Is yours raisin, too?”
He replies, “No, just twitching a little.”
Even older joke:
Guy goes into the general store and asks the woman, “Do you keep stationary?”
She says, “I do until the final few seconds, and then I just go wild.”
I’m not doubting there are people who would buy soup scented candles but I think that grilled cheese would have to be an entirely different one from the tomato. I also think that Dagwood would also be very aware of the existence of candles that smell like different foods, and he would have many of the ones that smell like KFC.
What is amazing of this candle selection is how drab and unadventurous these foods are! We know that Dagwood is a big eater but he only eats the same stuff, never tries something new. He is a kid of the 1930s, probably pizza is still exotic to him!
Also Blondie: It’s initially a bit of a shock to see Daisy laying there on the bathroom floor while Dagwood luxuriates in the tub. Then you realize that she’s also in it to eat the candles, and it makes sense. That’s when it hits you: you’ve been reading daily comic strips for far too long. What are you doing with your life, and why? Damn you Blondie for forcing me to confront existential philosophy on Monday morning!
@Lauralot: You have a point. The counterpoint is Jared appears to be incapable of actually helping, just thinking about helping.
Six Chix: Aw, the one snowperson was kind enough to lobotomize the other before carving up his flesh! If only they would have the same courtesy for their readers.
RMMD: Does Beatty write scripts for streaming services? This is exactly how you pad out a ninety-minute movie into a twelve part series.
I have no sympathy for Figowitz (?), he’s a soldier of the République and he ordered a hamburger! This is a bigger betrayal of France than his involvement in the May 1958 crisis!
This snowman gag is a blatant ripoff of a much better Calvin and Hobbes comic from over 30 years ago. Pretty certain that it’s been redone by at least a dozen other cartoonists since then.
Soylent White is (snow) people!!!
@Anonymous: To certain degree, comics and comic books are like Jazz. No one invents anything new, they just put their spin on the classics
I’ve never seen Dagwood set himself up to instinctually drink his own bathwater before, and I’ll tear my own eyes out before I ever see it again.
JP If you’re looking for a drone in the woods buried in snow that’s been there over a year, using a metal detector during the daytime would work better than stumbling about with a flashlight at night.
It’s not like Ann is on death row (yet) waiting for a reprieve.
(Appropriately named) Crock – And it’s great as a left over – tomorrow, at the Chinese restaurant – hey…this rice is white…I thought you said it was….
Blondie – And throw in a fried catfish and a liver ‘n’ onions….
6-C – I like the coal-black eyes….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
Blondie:”And want to know the perfect place to light them?”
“Sure, where?”
“Up your ass! So long, Kandle Korner, Myrtle is out of here!”
Crock: What’s dripping down the wall in that restaurant?
Who would have a bathroom door with a large glass insert? Even if the glass is tinted I don’t think this is acceptable.
At this point Dagwood is basically Kramer from the show Seinfeld. Surprised there hasn’t been a storyline where he decides to use sticks of butter as suntan lotion.
@astroboy: Says you! Of course there was a point to Mary’s meddlefest! She has now intervened just enough to take the credit when Jared inevitably uses his dweebish charms to break up Dirk and Dawn on her behalf (Jared: Toxic Relationships Done the Right Way!)
Yep, our girl is going to be so pleased and impressed by her Good Deed that she’s going to go all out and order a double portion of beige oblong foodstuff on her Bum Boat victory lap!
Crock: On a second glance, that’s a stereotypical condescending French waiter, not a stereotypical Chinese waiter. I thought this was an “Engrish” joke and I was trying to calibrate my disgust.
Crock, committed to ethnic stereotypes but not overt racism since 2025. I guess it’s progress.
Slylick Fox And Comix For Kinx: Answer(Printed Upside down) The fish are drunk off their fins! The starfish hugging the bottle pleads to Sly “Don’t Bogart our last bottle, dude!”
@Anonymous: Yeah, this must have been one of the final Crock strips after Bill Rechin died and his son Kevin took over completely for a little bit. Per Chance@1, I looked at Kevin’s site a few months ago and he’s actually a pretty good artist. Unfortunately Kevin’s website is down right now.
(Joke still isn’t funny though. Why the syndicate keeps Crock in reruns is one of life’s eternal mysteries.)
Mary Worth: I’m a guy, and I’d still rather be called “Nerdgirl” than “Babe.” I cringe just writing it.
Know what would be funny? Blondie opens the door saying “Are you eating gumbo in here?” and Dagwood is sitting on the toilet.
Frazz: For a genius, this little shit is remarkably stupid.
CS: Don’t worry, Harry. Crankshaft is your bus driver. Nothing can go wrong.
RMMD: “So you haven’t walked out on me yet. That must mean you like me, right. You do like me, right? I like you. Say you like me.”
JP: Gloria’s not happy. “It’s cold out here, Sam. I think I’m getting frostbite. And my feet hurt. Don’t walk so fast. Are you sure we’re in the right place? I don’t see anything. I don’t know why you care about that woman anyway. I can tell she doesn’t like me. Can we go yet? And why are we carrying flashlights in the middle of the day? Are you gonna keep us out here all night too? My feet hurt. And I’m hungry. And what if I have to go to the bathroom? I think my eyelashes are frozen. Why did you . . . “
Daggy — On the plus side, it appears there is no COVID in the Bumstead household. . .
Crocked — Alternate riposte (2003 version) “Those are Freedom Flies!”
Blondie-“Why does it smell like Gwyneth Paltrow in here?”
6Cx: There’s snow everywhere — you didn’t have to hamstring your husband to get it. Even if you can’t bend as far as the ground level, I’m sure there must be a drift or hillside around somewhere.
Six Chex and A Cat Named Frosty In Search Of A Punchline present tonight’s The Hallmark Hall of Fame presentation of Shel Silverstein’s ” The Giving Snowman” with limited commercials featuring Kraft™ food like “cheeze” product,recipes printed in TV GUIDE.
MW: “Ha haaaa, yeah, I AM a great bowler, and I’m going to crush that little worm. But you better start upping your game, Klutzgirl. You pretty much suck at bowling, and I’m not going to be associated with a loser, capice? Now go get me another beer and then strip down for sex. Speaking of which, you’re pretty bad at that too. Watch some movies or something, will ya?”
SFx: Actually, Reeky has it backward. He should be charging twice as much for the paper since a pound of it takes up more room in his truck than a pound of metal does. You didn’t think of that, did you Fox? Hah, and you call yourself a detective.
My God, what am I doing?
@Anonymous: I thought that at first but my generous interpretation is that it’s a mirror, so that after dagwood gets out of the bath he can admire himself in his full, nude glory.
@Handsome Harry Backstayge, Idol of a Million Other Women: Dagwood is sitting on the toilet.
____________
The Bumsteads only have a toilet when they need a plumber joke-like substance to tell. At all other times it retracts into the wall.
Blondie: Quick Google search reveals that not only are soup-scented candles a thing, but Campbell’s released a line of scented candles in late October last year. I guess we now know what the turnaround time for Blondie is.
I thought that snowmen might not feel pain, so it is no great harm to remove a piece of their body, but if they don’t feel pain, they should also not feel pleasure and then what’s the point of ice-cream?
@Ettorre:
The fact that they have kids kinda negates that hypothesis.
@Anonymous: a major food company just introduced “soup-flavored” hard candies.
C’shaft: Harry’s retired, but at least he has the memories of running gags to look back on.
GT: “It’s not your fault, Daddy. You’re just my legal guardian and also the head of the athletics department at my school; it’s not like you were in any position to take action…”
JP: “Unless it’s buried under all this fresh snow. Or someone else took it. Or it was never left behind by the owner at all. Or…”
Luann: Clearly “Tiffany desperately tries to become Kip’s rebound girl while TJ angrily yells at her to get back to work” was such fertile comic ground that it couldn’t be explored in a single week.
MW: Moy has written herself into an odd Catch-22 here. Mary cannot be involved in the story unless she gives advice which must be heeded. However, Dawn cannot heed Mary’s advice, because that would enable her to save herself from her predicament and rather than be rescued like a proper lady.
Pluggers lead lives of very loud and vocal desperation.
@Anonymous: oh.
And last winter, my store sold firewood that supposedly smelled like KFC.
Hopefully, the 11 herbs and spices and not the dumpster behind the store.
Slylock Fox-Slylock Fox once again steps on the small businessman.
RMMD-“I could never get a chance to make it all about me.”
FC-Because Mommy doesn’t want you out when she has friends over.
Blondie – When Dagwood leaves the shop, the saleswoman smiles wickedly to herself and turns the “Kandle Korner” sign around to reveal the store’s real name: “Kannibal Korner.” Boiling the customers in a big pot and eating them may not be legal yet, but they can still sell the fantasy!
Don Abundio, translated:
“That’s the most action either one of us will get all night!”
FC – The melonheads go to bed especially early when Mommy goes into the closet to find the last bottle she stashed there.
Crankshaft – It’s Massive Ego Dinkle and “I ruined my sister’s life” McKenzie together in one place. Loathsomeness has reached critical mass.
Frazz – The insufferable little genius might be in a good mood, but the minute he appears everyone else’s good mood goes in the crapper.
Lockhorns – It’s obvious that Leroy is not a professional. No butt crack.
Luann: Ukulele Ike called it a few days ago. Stef and Kip had been dating since 9th grade. (Ok, Ike guessed 8th grade but we’ll cut him some slack over one lousy year.)
@Lauralot: Absolutely true, but I’d definitely avoid the Dirk portion of the socializing.
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX:
You and my dad would’ve gotten along well.
Six Chix: Calvin & Hobbes did the same joke…30 years ago.
Hågär Thé Hørrïblê:
#DragonLivesMatter
Luann:
TJ
Get ze Tiffanywerfer
@Lauralot:
Weelbur has always been terrible.
He’s just even terribler now.
MW: The shallowness of this whole story offends me. Dirk and Dawn are a spot-on depiction of an abusive partner, and how abuse victims justify remaining with them. And Mary not only does nothing about it, she apparently failed to detect any of Dawn’s obvious clues.
My reaction has crossed over from “this isn’t funny” to “this is sick” and has now entered “this is appalling, and it’s doing a disservice to real abuse victims.”
@UncleJeffers:
#23. CURTIS, As I recall, budding genius Barry was promoted to a grade ahead of Curtis last year. He only acts as a baby when he wants something from Mama.
@Lauralot: Although Wilbur hiding in the bushes, planning to jump out at Iris with a bouquet of flowers as she and Zak are walking past, but then sees how happy she is, he just lays the flowers on the ground and sadly walks home.
For Mary Worth standards that is PEAK storytelling.
@The Rambling Otter: Also if Mary Worth was “real”
Half of Charterstone would have a restraining order against Wilbur.
@The Rambling Otter: No, not really. Mary Worth has always been awful at presenting heteornormative relationships (despite it’s not-very-subtle eagerness as rallying them as the “proper” method of romance). It’s just that it used to just happen to one-off guest stars so we didn’t really have to spend much time on the fallout.
MW: Dawn forgot to mention she’s been double dating with an ex-boyfriend. That’s enough to make Mary drop her muffin.
Blondie – If you’re not cooking Gumbo, what’s with the tiny shrimp in the bathwater? Ohhhh, never mind!
@Hibbleton: Are Snowbabies created by Mommy and Daddy Snowmen? Or are they created by humans, like other Snowmen? Without sexual reproduction, there is the evolutionary need for sexual pleasure
Luann: I gotta give the Evansi credit, they are making Tiffany do something that is actually sort of bad here by ignoring her entry-level part-time fast food job duties.
G-rated non-sexual romance that’s never going to happen and Tiff about to get in trouble, the Trufans have gotta be eating this up.
love is... putting your shield up because you peed your armor.
Jeffy Keane is the Featured Creator on Komics Kondom this week.
@Human-eared Dragon: Tiffany, the designated tramp/whore/slut for so long, has never been banged.
Remindful of the “I’m from a small town.”
“How small is it?”
“It’s so small that the local hooker is a virgin.”
@MKay: I’m guessing your dad and my dad would also have gotten along well.
REX MORGAN M.D.: “I’m glad I can finally have a decent conversation with a man…about how shitty my previous dates were. God, don’t you just hate it when people are so self-absorbed they just talk about themselves all the time?”
(The funny thing is that she could easily have this “decent conversation” with her female co-workers if they weren’t oblivious self-centered assholes.)
Bah, I had a Mary Worth two-fingered bowling ball joke geared up for #69 and missed it. Back in the vault you go.
MW: We know Dawn is sponging off her father’s oh so lucrative career as a newspaper columnist (which is why she’s taken decades to try and get that liberal arts degree) but what exactly does Dirk do for a living? Is he also a codependent leech despite his sob story about his pharmaceutical parents? Does Moy actually care about giving their characters lives outside of their shallow heteronormative relationships?
Only one question has an actual answer here…
@Needless Exposition:
It has been established that Dirk is a car salesman while waiting to break into corporate public relations.
It has not been explicitly established that he’s probably not very good at the former and likely has no shot at the latter. He better stick to hustling bowlers.
What is the ultimate challenge for the ultimate glutton? To slow boil oneself in a spicy broth until tender, until the meat falls off the bone, to dine on your own flesh, to make stock from your own bones, to know both devouring and being devoured. Dagwood is up for the ultimate challenge.
MW: the uber-competitive thing is another WILDLY unfun facet of Dirk’s personality. Probably not the worst thing all things being equal, but still really exhausting.
MW-Mary apparently quickly gave up on Dawn. “Eh she’s a Weston. They’re made to suffer.”
@Cleveland Mocks: Ah, gotcha. I don’t know a single car salesman who doesn’t spend at least five days a week working and considering Dirk can’t even fake a Bitch in Sheep’s Clothing act, he doesn’t exactly present himself as being good at PR. Maybe he should just take the L and scrub bedpans with Jared.
Blondie: Maybe that’s a 2-way mirror on the bathroom door. I don’t think it’s wrong for them to have their kinks but I am concerned about what it might be doing to the mental health of their children. Also if Elmo’s parents knew what kind of person was there is no chance they’d be letting him hang out at this house.
Blondie: Dagwood would definitely be sucking on Progresso Soup Drops chicken noodle-flavored hard candies in the tub, which were all over the “lighter side of the news” last month. His obsession with food revolves around consuming it! I’m pretty sure when he reads food-porn magazines in bed at night, he licks the pages.
Six Chix: On “The Office,” Dwight claimed to have invented a device called “Burger on the Go,” which allows you to “obtain six regular-sized hamburgers (or twelve sliders)” from a living horse. (“George Foreman is still considering it. Sharper Image is still considering it. Sky Mall’s considering it. Hammacher Schlemmer is still considering it. Sears said no.”) It’s a hilariously awful idea, but not that much worse than what will happen when someone puts a magic hat on this snowman, and he can suddenly feel pain.
Crock: I figured the restaurant had a gaping hole in the roof and the waiter was standing beneath a shower of rain, and of course a place like that would also have flies.
Blondie: If you want your house to smell like soup, wouldn’t it be easier and cheaper to, I dunno, heat up a can of soup instead of buying fancy trick candles?
Luann: Tiffany is not only a virgin, but as far as I can remember has never been on a date. I’m not sure what she imagines she and Kip are going to do when they’re alone together, unless Crystal let her in on it back in high school.
Brewster Rockit: The major function of human intelligence is to prevent you from doing all the dumb shit you think of. The major function of artificial intelligence appears to be answering all the dumb shit questions you get assigned for school papers or whatever. Does anyone ever ask it actual questions like “Should I invest $15,000,000 in remaking Psycho shot for shot?” And would anyone believe the answers?
@The Quiet Man: That is an extremely valid counterpoint.
Crock – The flies represent what readers get instead of jokes.
Blondie – If the entire run of Blondie were sent translated to a isolated cannibal tribe without any context of the modern world, they would read it in horror and drop their man-eating ways for fear that one day their tradition of eating the dead to gain their powers could backfire if they eat the demon Dagwood and become insatiable feeding monsters that will one day consume the world.
Six Chix – Unfortunately Isabella Bannerman has created a comic that is going to be used in Men’s Rights groups to represent how women and children take from men and how men should go their own way, but with other men, in a non-homoerotic way!!! [Emphasis theirs] and hone their manliness in a course based on bad readings of Norse theology and costing $15,000.
@Stacker: Yeah, that kind of shoots down Dawn’s entire “he insists on doing everything his way” argument.
It would be reasonable of Dirk to not want Dawn’s ex-boyfriend hanging around. Especially now that Jared has shown himself to be a self-appointed Niceguy who is likely to stick his nose into Dirk’s relationship with Dawn. But the double date happened, and apparently the four are still hanging out. So i guess Dirk’s not THAT controlling?
I think this reveals that Dirk’s not nearly as much of a player as Dawn thinks he is. A player would have nipped the threat of Jared in the bud by now. He’s going to lose Dawn because of Jared (some way or another) and it’s going to be entirely his own fault.
@Lauralot: MW: Dawn has become Gollum.
___________________________________
Now that I think about it…why HASNT Mary Worth been turned into a religious based claymation™ show before now?
Today on “Dawny and Gollum-ith”, hear Gollum-ith moan, ” Gee, Dawny, are you sure its a good idea to forsake eating meat by-products like the Lord commanded us to do?” ” Hey, Nerd Clay girl, listen to your talking dog and eat some meat, not wear it!” ” Ok, Dirk,whatever you say.”
MW: I am done feeling any sympathy for Jared and Jess. Suffer through a double-date with Dirk once, shame on Dirk, suffer through a double-date with Dirk twice, you must have the IQ of a sheet of drywall.
Zip:
Eelbar Hellbender; not actually a golden age of Hollywood character actor, but he probably should have been.
Felix Bressart? Felix Bressart! Felix Bressart! Felix Bressart!
JP: I’d like to know how many acres of woodland they are trying to cover, what the wind-chill temperature is, and how much Gloria is being paid.
BLONDIE: I nervously congratulate the commenters who have succeeded in making BLONDIE really creepy. You know who you are.
“A Crockmess Story”
The Old Man: “I can’t eat this giant fly…its….its looking at me! ( CHOP! )
Narrator: ” ….And that’s the first time we had teriyaki fly for Crockmess dinner.
Ethnic stereotype Waiters: “Wreck the ralls with ralls of rally, Ra ra ra ra…”
JP: We’ve been given to understand that this clan is not hurting for cash, and teenagers could recognize a drone. So why…oh, never mind.
LUANN: If this scene is supposed to convince us that Tiffany is slacking, Evansii, take the time and trouble to draw more customers, with bonus points if we’ve never seen them before. No? No. Of course not. I call (the usual) lazy bullshit.
Crank: Well, congratulations, Batty, you finally did it. I started to read today’s strip and my first thought was “Oh, thank goodness, it’s Harry Dinkle and Lillian,” before I heard myself and was horrified. Batton Thomas has completely broken me.
Crock: I think the joke might actually be mildly improved if it went the other way; if in the first panel we just thought there were flies buzzing around because this restaraunt is that kind of dive, and then panel 2 is “haha, that’s what you ordered!” Still isn’t funny, but it’s got something of a punch to it. But no, the flies are clearly piled on the side of the plate so it’s very obvious that that’s what he’s been served.
DT: You’d think that “If I can’t use the world’s most powerful explosive to kill thousands of people, at least I can use it to kill the guy less than six feet away from me” might be the point where Totten saw the flaw in his plan, but I guess not.
FG: I genuinely like that the strip’s resident Professor Science is all “Yeah, not only do I accept that magic exists here, but I’ve calculated just how much magic it would take to hack a data stone, and this guy doesn’t have enough.” I hope he measures it in zarkovs, because he’s the first scientist to analyse it properly and that means he can.