True romance
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Rex Morgan, M.D., 5/2/25
OK, call me a hopeless romantic, or maybe a drama queen, but I found myself simply unable to give two hoots about Summer’s romance/stalker storyline where she gets romanced and stalked and then the stalker gets murdered right outside her house and she may or may not get a free truck out of it. But Kelly shows up with a tall, polite boyfriend with broccoli hair??? I am IMMEDIATELY EXTREMELY ENGAGED. What happened with her star-crossed romance with Niki, who she left at home when she went off to college? Does Niki even know he’s been replaced? Will he abandon his solid blue-collar job in rage and return to being the feral, starfish-headed teen he once was? I know I said in the title to that old post that I didn’t care about the Niki/Kelly relationship but now that it’s been shattered I recant, I can see how wrong I was, gimmie more of this drama pleeez.
The Lockhorns, 5/2/25
I really enjoy the facial expressions on Leroy and this sommelier here. They’ve made a real emotional connection and sorry, Loretta, but I think it’s sweet!
Family Circus, 5/2/25
I was going to decry this as a Dennis the Menace-ism, but then I caught Billy’s little thumbs-up, which places it back into his own vibe wheelhouse. He thinks he’s helping!
123 replies to “True romance”
You can tell this romance is real because Kelly literally forgets about her boyfriend’s existence while talking to other people and when reminded of it says dully, “Oh, yeah. Him.” Romeo and Juliet, move over! There’s a new standard for pure, eternal love in town!
RMMD:
“Hi, Ms. Knight! I’m from the planet Vulcan — although, as you can see, I don’t have the hand salute down quite right just yet!”
Alas, poor Jeffy. Standing on tiptoes, desperate to be acknowledged, only for his taller, slightly less socially awkward brother to hog the attention.
Sorry, third-born child! It will always be this way.
RMMD:
“Oh, yeah. Him. That’s Travis. He drives Bill Belichick and me around.”
“Bill Belichick?!? — how did you guys meet?”
“We’re not talking about that.”
Jeffy, stop looking up your sister’s skirt, you little perv.
FC:
“Mom says you have a ‘stache like Harry Reems!”
GT: Has Marty shrunk? He’s shorter than Beth.
Lockhorns: All of us old-timers (Which probably accounts for 95% of all newspaper comic readers) will recognize the joke as a takeoff of the old Miller High Life slogan, “the champagne of bottled beers”.
Lots of odd details in today’s FC. Were the husband and wife wearing matching overcoats? Was that a thing in the 1970s flared-pants era in which this is set? Weren’t pillbox hats long since passe by that point? Has Thel won a medal of some sort?
Jeffy, meanwhile, tries to get attention by standing en pointe.
RMMD – Travis has had his eye on that boss pickup and n the driveway with the quick lime, tarp and rope in the box….
Schlockhorns – Andre’ cold duck! Look for the trademark poly stopper….
FC – I knew you were coming – daddy stowed away all the Hustlers and Swanks….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
RMMD: Summer: “Huh? But what about Niki? He’s always been your boyfriend!”
Kelly: “Yeah, so he keeps telling me. I try to tell him that we’re through, but he just won’t accept it. He’s become a real pest. So that’s why I brought Travis here – I want him to pick up some pointers on how to murder a stalker and get away with it!”
MW: Wilbur looks so befogged; Dawn should have begun with two brisk face slaps.
RMMD: Kelly just shows up unexpectedly. Summer didn’t even know her daughter has a boyfriend. Do these people not have phones?
FC: Look at Ma Keane’s disapproving glance down at Billy. Someone’s going to be in the dog crate for a week when company goes home.
Lockhorns: Leroy’s got a boyfriend~
MW: Let’s hear what Wilbur’s excuse is this time to try and keep Dawn in the condo long enough that he can sacrifice her to Belle for the insurance payment and the wedding orgy in Vegas.
GA: …said the cartoonist that spent a week having a penny-ante fliver about the issue.
MW: Wilbur still has that stupid “Got-Sex-Don’t-Care” look on his dopey mug. It’s going to take the sudden discovery of that picture of Dawn that Batts defaced like a villain in a slasher flick to shake him out of his stupor.
Ah, who’m I kiddin’. Wilbur would happily stand by and watch Dawnie get disemboweled if it means he’s getting Little Wilbur wet.
L’horns: I wasn’t expecting a guest appearance by Kevin Spacey. Man, the roles have really dried up for him since that scandal.
MW: He called her Dawnie again. I’m pretty sure that, by law, Dawn can now kill the both of them and feel no repercussions.
FLASH! AHHHHHHHHHH!!!! “NO! Not Mopey Pete! I’m in the Battyverse!”
@Lauralot: FACE no repercussions, although she should also feel no guilt.
GT: Get a load of the left-handed handshake in panel three. Guys, don’t you know those are your ass-wiping hands? You’re not going to win any friends in the Middle East.
FC: Mr. Holmes, is it true you have a 14 inch weiner?
Too bad today’s DtM didn’t complete the reversal with FC and have Dennis offering a vomitously cute homily.
Nice hat, Keane Aunt. I immediately thirst for a Hi and Lois-style spinoff featuring Redheaded Aunt and Mustache Uncle.
CS: You wrote them down, Lillian?! You wrote them down??!! Seriously?! Are you this committed to insulting your fans, or are you so dull you actually need this kind of help?
Luann: You idiot, Bernice is trying to get out of your way so you can have a date with Phil. Stop insulting her, and let her fall on the grenade already. “Gee, Bernice, you don’t have a boyfriend or a friend. I can’t let you go the movies by yourself. I know! Let’s make your plus-one that pathetic old lady who’s near death! She could use some company! That’ll help us get rid of that 16% too much lasagna!”
Also: I hate it when comic strips try to tell jokes that don’t work in the characters’ world. Luann starts to say “Phil” and corrects it to “friend”, but Bernice wouldn’t notice this because they sound identical. The joke only works because we can see the spelling in the word balloon.
Pluggers: Pluggers have been trained to repress their emotions their entire lives, so it takes more effort to explain their problem than to just “fix it.”
Continuing my run of nice comments,* I like the joke in The Lockhorns! The wordplay isn’t absolutely brilliant but it’s fine and it fits well with the characters’ dynamic! Last time I checked in with the strip they had a bunch of good jokes, so thumbs up to the writers if you’re reading, which I hope you aren’t!
*OK the last one was passive aggressive
FC:
“Snuffy Smith has a picture in his living room with a similar theme. It’s a painting of a moonshite apparatus that Snuffy hides from the revenuers!”
“No. Don’t say it, Jeffy.”
“Yep. It’s a still life!”
RMMD: Looks like Rick Moranis is earning some extra money in retirement by licensing out his likeness rights.
Luann: All this drama, when lasagna freezes and reheats exceptionally well.
Rex Morgan, M.D.: [Teenage voice cracking] “Hi, Ms. Knight. Did you know all the animals come out at night? Dopers, stalkers, retirees, sick, venal. Some day a real rain will come and wash all this scum off the streets.” [Summer nods] “He’ll do.”
RMMD: “Oh, that’s my boyfriend. He’s not allowed indoors.”
FC: Meanwhile, Jeffy shows off what he learned in ballet school.
JP: Wow, on the cusp seeing each other for the first time since Christmas to celebrate a happy milestone, the Spencer-Driver foursome has been at maximum pissy-face this week. Pretty impressive showing.
MW: “Belle has got to go??? Listen here, missy, do you know how hard it is for me to get laid? So unless you want to hook me up with some of your friends, Belle isn’t going anywhere!”
@Guillermo el chiclero: They shortened that to “The Champagne of Beers” in 1969, at which point this joke would have been timely. Not funny, but timely.
@matt w: Mustache Uncle was my alt-country-perv band.
Family Circlejerk – In the black-and-white version in our local dead tree, I thought the picture was of Washington crossing the Delaware. Good to see I can get a full-color version on Komics Kondom and realize it’s a bowl of flowers crossing the Delaware.
RMMD-NERD!
MW-“Belle has got to go or I’m going to Mary Worth.”
FC-“I knew you were comin’ to visit cause we had to get rid of all the bottles of liquor.”
The Lockhorns: Meanwhile, the French are fuming: “Mais non! C’est la <<bière des champagnes,>> une appellation contrôlée, uh huh huh!”
FG: We know it’s going to be a knockoff-Flash-copy, right? But what would be more interesting, maybe some reanimated character we’re supposed to have dealt with permanently – Aura’s oopsie-wrong-target assassinated brother? Frigia’s dead husband she’s basically going to war over?
H&L: Because if you don’t you’ll end up like the college students I’ve seen who appear to try to “solve” a problem by tossing numbers any which way into an equation and having a weak foundation of what mathematical operations *mean* then make addition the same as subtraction, multiply the same as divide… and thus get the computer/calculator to say something like it taking millions of seconds for someone to fall two meters to the floor…
Phantom: Complaint retracted about Savarna not leaving when she should have, remains to be seen how ridiculous her reason was for ending up *back* in town
FC: I am intrigued by the unnamed gentleman featured today. Is he a painter? Dolly sure seems delighted to get a giant pick-me-up hug from him, so is he close to the family? Is he Bil’s brother, also an artist, more serious about his work but less successful? I hope the little spat over the painting flowers into a bitter and jealous sibling quarrel that we get to see in detail all next week.
Meanwhile, enjoy these warm fuzzy scenes from recent baseball games:
Tommy Pham says hello to a fan
Drunk in Pittsburgh plummets like Wilbur Weston off a cruise ship
Rex Morgan, M.D.:
GT: What with receiving a gigantic bouquet of flowers and meeting an old acquaintance, Gil can’t be bothered to pay attention to the game he’s supposed to be managing.
Shoe: If he doesn’t know why the Amish live without electricity, how does he even know the Amish exist? Crappy set-up line here, writer. Do better.
I probably sound like a broken record but this whole ordeal with Belle would never have happened if Wilbur wasn’t operating with his genitals. He gave his full address to a woman he barely knows, claiming that she was just a fling and allowed her to fully invade his condo while not so subtly gaslighting Dawn into accepting this. When Belle and Dawn started to clash, Wilbur doesn’t do the reasonable thing to separate them because he loves having the attention of being fought over. And of course he’s not feeling anything except satisfaction for his own lust.
RMMD: “But who’s that hanging around in the doorway?”
“That’s Shorty and the Beanpole, after an accident with the transporter merged them into one person.”
Curly pompadour? Thick, square hipster glasses? You’re going to fit in juuuuussst right in this strip, Travis. Nobody’s going to be strangling you in a car.
***
Poor Dolly thinks she’s being rescued and deprogrammed.
RMMD: What an odd way to ask that question! “It’s nice to see you, but why is there a hawk diving for the door?”
LH: “Ooooh, it comes from the Beer region of France!”
FC: I think Billy is “helpfully” pointing out the picture that Mr. Pornstache gave them.
Don Abundio, translated:
“You can still do this one for free!”
“But I own all the intellectual property rights on the Figure Eight!”
Rex Morgan: Kelly had better be pissed at Travis for some recent off-camera shenanigans. “Oh yeah. Him.” isn’t the introduction I’d give my landlord, much less my boyfriend.
MW: To Wilbur, this is just going to look like unhinged jealousy on Dawn’s part. Sure, he won’t think that’s weird or anything, so Dawn will have to try a little harder.
Dustin: The following day: “Why don’t we have any water?”
Rex Morgan, MD – Being introduced to his girlfriend’s Mom and boyfriend after a stalker was murdered out front is not the weirdest parent meeting for Travis. When he picked up his prom date, a meth lab had exploded across the street earlier that day
The Lockhorns – It’s only the beer of champagnes if it’s made in the blue collar vineyards in the Champagne region of France.
The Family Circus – Thel is mad at that little shit Jeffy. Now the woman guest will know Thel only wore that gaudy necklace she gave Thel as a birthday gift to appease her.
MW: Dawn and Wilbur here proving once again that it’s a fine line between exasperation, cluelessness and making out…
RMMD:
(about Travis) Bro’s built like Jack Doherty if he was 5 inches taller, wore glasses and had black hair
@taig:
Dustin: The following day: “Why don’t we have any water?”
“Oh look, our statement shows that we paid $9,000 for last month’s water bill. I wonder how that happened.”
RMMD: “Oh, yeah. Him” has got to be ones of the funniest ways to introduce a boyfriend. Treating him like a new haricut you forgot your parents hadn’t seen yet really sets the tone in a new relationship
Luann: I’m not sure why the Evanses wanted to shine a spotlight on how few friends and acquaintances these two have. It’s kinda sad.
CS: Next week, we get to spend time with the Wonder Twins teaching Lillian how to use ChatGPT. It’ll be full or hilarity. Or full of something.
9CL: I see Alistair has learned well how to play piano. It reminds me of that scene in Amadeus where Mozart was playing the piano while having a grand mal seizure.
MW-“If you don’t get rid of Belle then I’m calling in Mary Worth. She’ll make it look like Belle choked on a muffin.”
RMMD-“Ms. Knight, you’re trying to seduce me.”
MW: Yes! It’s the long-awaited return of the Doves o’ Love in a brand-new routine! Now you’re probably wondering, why today? Well, here’s the dope – their contract calls for a specified number of performances within a time frame, and The Ladies said “this week” or face penalties. We, of course, have been steering clear of this story, since there’s obviously no “romance” … and we’d just as soon not be associated with this crapola.
But the DOL showed they are true professionals and worked up some new choreography which is eloquent in its simplicity! They are high-tailing it outta there! Yes, if you could see the scene straight on – they are already past the window and as close to the edge of the panel as possible for complete framing! A masterpiece of passive resistance…
DT: rewarding the readers who have stuck with this arc – going back and grilling the lesser 3rd nephew.
GT: I guess Gil and his squeeze forgot there was an actual baseball game going on.
RMMD: please make it a twist that this new guy isn’t just a segue into another arc but the final twist. He is McStalker estranged son who hunted him down and got revenge for himself and his mom.
MW: Inner primitive Dawn which has a sense of self preservation is screaming but little Wilbur is in charge and as long as he is getting sexy time Dawn is doomed.
@taig: The Keane kids may soon be asking if a grandma seizure is an elderly person’s malady like Old-Timer’s Disease or Crone’s Disease.
9CL: Damn, whoever is pictured in the first panel looks like they’re about to rip the piano apart with their teeth.
@Needless Exposition: To be fair, we don’t know that Wilbur gave her their address. Maybe she’s a stalker, and Wilbur’s too dumb to know he should be concerned about this.
@taig: Yeah, Dawn’s failing to state what the actual problem is. Wilbur might take her more seriously if she said “I think Belle is trying to kill me.” Better yet, she could find some of the evidence Belle left all over the house.
@Dennis Jimenez: Poly stopper? I’m surprised that The Beer of Champagnes doesn’t have a screw cap.
GT: Maybe if I held my hands half a foot apart like the batter maybe I’d have more home runs as a schoolboy. Okay, more singles.
The ensloppification of AI hits Crankshaft. Will anyone notice?
FC: Bil and Thel told the real parents of Dolly and Jeffy to come take them back. And they can take that crappy picture too.
“Mommy says Marc Chagall does degener’t art and it despo’ls our walls!”
@Cleveland Mocks: “Why does this bill say we have 24 properties with water hookup?”
Little Wilbur Wilbur won’t stay home
No you can’t make Wilbur ’cause Wilbur won’t go
Tried killing little Dawnie but – woah no
Little Wilbur Wilbur won’t (thump thump) stay home!
RMMD: does panel 2 represent the first time Summer has been portrayed with an expression? Is her botox wearing off?
RMMD: Oh Josh, my sweet summer child. the only reason Travis is interesting now is novelty, and the bizarre situation of him just hanging around outside the door while everyone discusses the recent murder. But this is Rex Morgan, where drama goes to (quite literally, in the case of Goatee McStalker) die, and before too long he will seem as dull and tiresome as every other character in the strip.
@taig:
On Luann : Mrs Horner isn’t even a MUTUAL friend. Bernice has NEVER met her, IIRC, and is pulling this “her life at the old folks home must be miserable” out of thin air
(okay, she’s on constant off-panel life support, but on panel the place seems nice!).Bernice picked the ONE* acquaintance Luann has that wouldn’t make her (Bernice) feel jealous over her being Luann’s only “friend” (because Mrs Horner is old, and you can’t be “friends” with someone outside your age range, in Bernice’s (and probably Luann’s as well) view).
*(well, there’s also Puddles, but “let’s feed all the leftovers to the dog” is apparenty not an option).
*************
Crankshaft : I’m liking this more nuanced take on unsollicited submissions, where they’re portrayed as being unhelpful, unneeded advice that just places a burden on the author. Usually, the Batiukverse’s take on unsollicited submissions was “IT WAS JUST AN EXCUSE DC AND MARVEL USED TO REJECT ME FOR NO REASON!”
(except for that time it was “Alan Foster stole artwork”).FC-“I knew you were comin’ cause these walls are paper thin and I could hear Daddy screaming.”
RMMD: I am curious how far away Kelly’s college is, and how long she drove just for the chance to burst theatrically through the door. An hour? Three hours? Eight hours? Has an answer been established within the story? The presence of Travis implies that the drive was long enough that she needed company/a second driver, but do you really make a drive that long without sending mom a quick message to say ‘I heard about the murder! I’m coming right home!’
RMMD: Travis looks like if Shorty and Beanpole (can’t remember their actual names) merged together into one being.
Momma-‘Psycho’ reference. Nice to see a comic do it.
C’shaft: And that was how Lilian started “writing” via ChatGPT.
Dustin: “Actually we wouldn’t, because the hacker would then have access to personal and financial information which could prove very damaging to us, but hey, you’re only a lawyer, why would you need to know about the importance of keeping proprietary information out of the wrong hands?”
GT: Is Clambake actively shrinking?
JP: I don’t get it. Was Neddy expecting Alaska Boyfriend to keep pestering her to talk?
@Anonymous: (Luann) I thought Bernice was also in the
CreativeWriting for Dum Dums class with Luann. I haven’t the willpower to check.Congratulations on your new position as background character in Rex Morgan M.D., Travis. We’re not sure what you did to deserve this sort of treatment, but it looks like you’re already regretting your life choices, so Rex Morgan M.D. is doing its job.
RMMD: If Kelly is living away from home that means the college must be in another town because if the college was in town she’d most likely be living at home. How would she find out about some random stiff found in a car in another town so quickly and why would it be reported by the local newsies in her town? If a dead body was found in a car in Dallas, unless it was somebody famous, it wouldn’t even make news in Houston or Austin. Hell, here in Houston we have a homicide a day. Why would we care about some dead nobody turning up in another town unless there was a strong local connection?
DT: Okay, back up: an employee at the morgue has the same last name as the bumbling comic duo? I mean yeah, the name “Horrocks,” while not on the level of “Smith” or “Thompson,” isn’t unusual enough that it’s improbable two unrelated people in the same large metropolis might share it, but still, isn’t that one of those things you would look in to right away?
Luann: Ladies, lasagna keeps and reheats pretty well. You can even freeze some of it and save it for Luann’s parents when they get home. There’s no need to spin it into tepid relationship drama. (Also, wouldn’t Mrs. Horner likely have diet needs/restrictions that they’d need to know about before inviting her over for leftovers?)
MW: Gaaah, Belle’s crazy eyes are contagious!
Rex Morgan: Only in Rex Morgan could a plotline about a serial killing stalker and the vigilante hunting him be nothing more than setup for a plot about a woman being mildly surprised her daughter has a new boyfriend.
Family Circus: Looks like someone’s just earned himself a few weeks in The Box.
9CL – Three-year-old Alistair is such a piano prodigy that he forces his sisters to spend hours crouched down under the piano working the floor pedals so he can get the piece just right.
This isn’t a concert. Its a child playing the piano. But pretention demands that the children work the pedals in perfect tune lest this performance fail to meet expectations.
FC: Gotta disagree there, guy. That could be a thumb of disdainful direction. Like “getta loada dis awful shit over here, ya mug!”
The Lockhorns: It’s bad enough that Leroy thinks he’s being fancy when he buys 8-dollar sparkling wine from the supermarket’s liquor aisle. Did he really need to drag over the produce manager to explain the subtle differences between Cook’s and Korbel?
Rex Morgan: “Who’s that tragic rock star hanging out in my doorway?” “Oh, yeah, him. That’s Buddy Holly, my boyfriend.” “Well, all right, Ms. Knight. I came back knockin’, but now I think I’ll fade away, oh boy!”
@Guillermo el chiclero: Rushed right into the comments to say this! I knew one of my fellow Olde Fartes would pick up on it!
@TheDiva: I thought “Horrocks” were in those pipes smoked by women of easy virtue?
Speaking of Luann’s leftovers: in the April 30 strip, Bernice said they needed to “cut the recipe by a sixth.” If that’s true, then they made enough lasagna to feed two people, plus one sixth of that amount. Or, enough to feed 2 1/3 people total. Now they’re having a dinner party to get rid of the excess. But this amount isn’t enough to feed one person, much less four. It comes out to 1/12 of a serving per person, relative to the average amount Luann and Bernice ate. I wonder how impressed Phil is going to be when he comes over for dinner and his lasagna is about the size of a quarter.
@BigTed: “Who’s that tragic rock star hanging out in my doorway?” “Oh, yeah, him. That’s Buddy Holly, my boyfriend.” “Well, all right, Ms. Knight. I came back knockin’, but now I think I’ll fade away, oh boy!”
What’s with these homies dissin’ my girl? Why do they gotta front?
@Banana Jr. 6000: The Evanses have enough trouble getting the details of the lives of college-age women right, and now you expect them to handle fractions correctly? You demand too much!
FC: Who does that lady on the left think she is anyway, trying to out-jut Thel?
(I’m starting to believe Bil Keane was a perv.)
Blondie-“Let’s talk about my troubles,” Lou says, “Here have a big slice of meatloaf made from my biggest problem being that health inspector.”
Beetle Bailey-Sorry, Beetle, but even the doctor won’t protect you from one of Sarge’s beatings.
I just heard that Ruth Buzzi passed away. R.I.P. She was 88.
She was in one of my all time favorite skits, the one with Arte Johnson asking her if she believed in the hereafter.
JP – Ye gods, it looks like Hank drew those sideburns on with a Sharpie. If that isn’t against the law, it should be.
9CL – I didn’t realize at first that the pianist is Alistair, between the hellmaw and the ballet slippers he’s wearing.
Crankshaft – I can’t suspend disbelief enough to accept that this woman is a writer. She’s a loathsome hag, and she’s also a loathsome fumfering idiot.
@TheDiva: #76: re- Luann: I was thinking the same thing. Shouldn’t they have to get the nursing home’s dietician’s approval before they started shoveling day old lasagna made off-site by amateurs into a ninety something year old person?
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: We have been following the story about the guy at the Pittsburgh game. The video I saw before wasn’t clear, and I wondered if he leaned too far over the railing. However, in the video you posted, he jumped over the railing. Alcohol was surely involved.
On a much tamer note, last night I cracked up when John Kruk commented on how tight one of the Phillies player’s pants were.
GT: “‘Clambake’ is the name. I’m one of the Clambake boys.”
There are two romances in today’s strips. Leroy’s boggle-faced delight as he looks at the alcohol, and Kelly’s new boyfriend, who she describes as “oh, him.” Travis, I don’t know you or your broccoli hair, but you can do better man.
@I speak Jive: It wasn’t REALLY jumping over…it was right in a play he jumped up aggressively to cheer and got himself tangled and went over the edge (and for good measure kind of caught his foot going over which caused the pinwheeling action). There’s anecdotal evidence of the guy being very drunk yes.
Edited to say that there’s at least two points in the video where you can see he’s not trying to propel himself over, where his arms buckle the opposite direction of the railing, and at the end where he’s clearly trying to hold onto it
RMMD: Travis’s soft hands will not compete with Nikki’s calloused hands
@LTJpezcore1: Thanks for the explanation. It’s bad enough that it was an accident, but it would be worse if he’d jumped like I thought he did.
@I speak Jive: Yeah the initial thought that night was that he had done it intentionally, but the surrounding fans interviewed after the game and visible circumstances kind of put that to rest. And you’re right, it really doesn’t make it any less awful.
DT: “The Horrocks brothers are in on this. And we might get more info from Horrocks at the Morgue. Man, I have a sudden craving for a big glass of Ovaltine.”
Luann: Mrs. Horner’s dieticians would look askance at feeding her spicy Italian sausage and loads of cheese.
9CL: Howcum all these world-class serious professional musicians attack the keyboard like Jerry Lee Lewis?
@Voshkod: Oh, as if Bil and Thel would hang paintings by Jewish artists in their home.
@Peanut Gallery:
Quédate en la escuela, niños.
@Bull City: Alas, poor Jeffy.
___________
Now I’m picturing Hamlet with a Mellonhead sized skull in his hands.
MW:
“See these hands, Dad? — wouldn’t you like to form your own hands into this shape and shake some sense into her???”
“Nope. Not wringing a Belle!”
@Banana Jr. 6000: While we don’t know for certain if Wilbur did give Belle his full address, it wouldn’t surprise me if he did since Wilbur has proven time and time again that he learns absolutely nothing from his many, many mistakes. Most of the time he thinks that he’s the one who was wronged and it’s everyone else’s fault for not accepting his “endearing quirks.” Dawn had to take time away from him because she was treating Jared the same way that Wilbur treated Estelle but then she came back and was like “Oh, Dad, you’re the best and Mom was such a horrible bitch” and their relationship instantly changed from father-daughter to an almost husband-wife situation with how they enable each other.
@I speak Jive: We wondered if he jumped up excitedly, got his feet caught on something and went over.
Good ol’ Krukster. When a woman asked him how such an out-of-shape person could be an athlete, he replied, “I’m not athlete, lady. I’m a baseball player.” And some version of that was used for his autobiography.
Hope you also enjoyed Tommy Pham’s greeting. I use that all the time. I’m trying to get an animated emoji of it.
@Banana Jr. 6000, Luann: Recipe feeds 12, but they need to cook for two. Evansii think this is what “cut the recipe by a sixth” means.
G. @#$)(*!! Thorp – Is Clambake going to bang Beth? Hope so. Right in front of Gil.
Lockhorns: Brewing beer with champagne yeasts is a thing. I wonder if any sparkling wines, whether from champagne or not, are brewed with yeast strains more typically used for brewing beer?
@Sid, Agent to the Animal Stars!:
#54. MW: But Sid! Please update us on Willa’s where abouts as Bela the Butcher looks deadly with that knife. As much as we want to see her performance, now is not the time and flipping in a sizzling frying pan is not the place
RMMD: does poor ignored Travis have just three fingers, or is that a skinny mitten over the last three?
Phantom: Yes, but evidently you then came back, because you’re here, so that doesn’t really have anything to do with Dorje’s point.
RMMD: “Travis”, you say?
When I first read this, I was cold,
The strip’s action just won’t unfold.
Nothing is shown but only told,
A bore, for sure, and yet I seem to keep on reading more.
Wow, look at him now, broccoli in the doorway,
Such a boring strip,
And he seems a total drip.
‘Cos to blend into the crowd,
Of Rex Morgan nonentities,
Is the way to go,
So let’s watch the story blow.
@Banana Jr. 6000: Luann starts to say “Phil” and corrects it to “friend”, but Bernice wouldn’t notice this because they sound identical.
I’m more annoyed by the fact that before her last-second word swap, the sentence was originally going to be (emphasis added) “and she could bring a Phil.” Look at that last panel again if you think I’m wrong.
@Activist: re Willa: Well, she’s still officially “missing” …. but we have assurances from reliable sources – including Ms. Daisy – that our fabulous Fish Star is safe in protective custody. Word in the comics underworld was that The Ladies might rev up the horror factor and have Belle go after Willa with evil intent, so a special task force was activated to ensure Willa’s well-being, or so I’m told.
We’re getting occasional messages from her saying she’s “fine” and not to worry. The last note even looked like it had been under water at some point, so I *think* they’re legit…. Just exactly WHO is Ms. Daisy, anyway? I know a lotta folks on here have secret, undercover lives, but I think we can trust her…
@taig: I thought Bernice was also in the Creative Writing for Dum Dums class with Luann. I haven’t the willpower to check.
She’s not. Bernice attends a separate school than Luann. It’s also worth noting that the characters have been in college for over a decade now and we’ve never once seen Bernice inside of a classroom. Though with this character that’s nothing unusual, since we’ve also never seen her home or her parents (except for the back of their heads at her high school graduation.). She’s been in the strip for 40 years and she still hasn’t been given any sort of background.
@Bryan: It’s almost like the creators of this strip don’t give a fuck.
@Little Guy: You’re probably right, but sheesh, that’s like 4th Grade math. Or at least it was when I was a kid.
@Bryan: I noticed that when I first read it. “Bring a Phil” was a writing crutch to make the PH/F thing work. But I gave it a pass, because it felt like something Luann would say. It was a double Freudian slip. Her brain is so distracted because BOYS BOYS BOYS BOYS BOYS that she insulted her friend, and also dehumanized her date by characterizing him as an accessory you bring to a social occasion.
Lockhorns: The joke is, of course, a reversal on Miller High-Life’s old ad slogan. But what I want to know is, what the hell could the Lockhorns be celebrating?
RMMD: No, no, Clark Kent isn’t supposed to be dating Lois yet. This is messing up the timeline!
C-Shaft: And then Lillian laughs to herself as she remembers that she can just do what she’s done with all the books so far and simply copy the text from the 1963 classic Betty Crocker’s Cooky Book.
Crock: Amusing enough, in a way, that Maggot’s phone looks like the handset from an old landline telephone with an antenna attached. But then consider where Maggot—naked from the waist up—has been keeping the thing, and you’ll never stop shuddering.
DT: It’s a rare day when Dick offers “a free ride to the morgue” to someone he isn’t about to shoot.
Dustin: Dustmom generally comes across as the more intelligent of the Kudlick parents—not the highest bar to clear, it must be said—but in the last panel here looks genuinely worried about water bill hackers.
GT: “By the way, folks call me ‘Clambake.’ Have I mentioned that yet?”
Luann: As unlikely as it seems, Bernice might actually pick up that that “f” sounds was made by a “ph.” Even more improbably, she might actually care.
MW: Hey look, Glinda the Good Witch is arriving on the scene! She’ll probably side with Dawn, although where Wilbur is concerned I doubt it’ll help.
Luann: “She could bring a….FILBERT!”
Those old ladies really love their mixed nuts, and the girls have nothing to offer for dessert.
@Violet: Don Abundio subscribed to the Chip Flagston theory of education.
@Ukulele Ike:
Are you thinking of Horlicks? I wonder if it’s a dusty road on the way to the morgue.
@Peanut Gallery: Yeah, I made the Horrocks = Horlicks joke a couple weeks back. Good to see you’re on your toes.
mmmmm….malted milk powder over vanilla frozen custard (aka French Vanilla ice cream)? Yes, please.
DT: Um, Dick. Don’t you thing when you dragged the dentist and Johnny Dollar to the morgue last week to look at the corpse you could’ve interrogated the third Horrocks nephew while you were there?