The battle of the generations is OVER
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The Lockhorns, 7/26/25
The random, silent bystanders who show up in The Lockhorns represent one of the strip’s great mysteries. Like, who is this lady, who we’ve never seen before and never will again, but who apparently thought she might get some quality time in with Loretta, only to discover that she was about to take her unconscious husband to a matinee showing of the latest superhero movie? Honestly, I enjoy speculating, but I’m also glad we’ll never find out. Anyway, this, and not some geek-savvy discourse, is the only way I want to think about the box office performance of franchise films. Are Superman’s ticket numbers being artificially inflated by women physically carrying their comatose husbands into the theater, an action that represents the latest aggression in a long-running conflict in a way that even they can’t explain? I’d be happy to read 2,000 words in Variety on the subject.
The Phantom, 7/26/25
Speaking of superhero franchises, The Phantom has been running for 89 years now, and I’m pleased to see that it’s taking the steps necessary to stay up to date. “Don’t share too much personal information online, or you might end up enslaved by warlords in a mine in Africa” is a timely message that today’s comics readers need to hear.
Dustin, 7/26/25
Ha ha, look at Dustin’s expression in that last panel! He’s definitely going to leave his father to die in that hammock, and you know what? Good for him.
127 replies to “The battle of the generations is OVER”
Phantom:
“The wealth of personal information they volunteered is what holds them captive. But before I ruminate on that further, why are they even speaking English in a developing, far-away foreign country like this, anyway???”
MW: At Central Park, Mary lets everyone she meets know that she has taken a NAP.
Dustin-“You can stay in that hammock and die!”
MW-“Central Park isn’t far it’s just several long blocks away.”
RMMD-“I need a wedding singer.”
How does the Phantom keep wearing that skin-tight full-body outfit in tropical Africa, where it gets kind of hot? I bet that thing reeks after a mere hour out in the heat. I bet he has dozens of changes back at the Skull Cave. (I bet he has to run a generator so he can have a washing machine, because otherwise what, pound ’em on a rock?) I bet the baddies can smell him coming, even so. NOT to mention the HOURS in the gym (does the Skull Cave have a gym?) to keep all the muscle definition that the lavender leotard shows off. I mean, one smidge of love handles or man boobs and the world will know it! This whole leotard thing is like a full-time job.
The only time I ever genuinely laughed at Dustin.
Dustin: No jury alive could ever convince Dustin of patricide. The last thing Ed is going to see is Dustin smothering him with a throw pillow.
LH: The rotation of bystanders is because every single one of them just tells Loretta to either stop bitching or get a divorce. Loretta would rather kiss her husband than stop bitching.
MW: While I question how close in proximity Central Park is to this apartment that the Taylors can’t afford, I’m more concerned about how I can’t see Mary and Olive’s hands.
Dustin:
There must be some kind of weird temperature inversion or other meteorological phenomenon going on in their backyard, because Dustin is bare-chested, whereas his father is reclining in a hammock wearing a sweater.
Lockhorns:
“I think your hubby might be suffering from sleep apnea.”
“Great Seizure’s Ghost!”
BB – And for the first time in his golfing career Amos Halftrack showed up at the nineteenth hole with no fewer balls than he had at the first.
Lockhorns: The woman is a carpenter come to fix Leroy’s latest DIY project. He installed the door-lock one foot off the ground.
RMMD:
“Snif — okay by me.”
“Say, who took the second ‘f’ out of ‘Sniff’ just now, son?”
“That dad-blasted Rene Belluso fellow!”
He’s definitely going to leave his father to die in that hammock, and you know what? Good for him.
That’ll be one down and three to go so we can finally have done with this execrable strip about these execrable people.
On a brief side note of things, I just realized that the story about the Morgans getting a new son from June’s conveniently dying friend is like when Homer became a Bigger Brother and saw a heartwarming orphan that made him cry while asking the agency “Do you have him in blond?”
LHns: Oh, you mean ‘still’ like ‘moonshine distiller’? Yeah that scans…
Dustin You know, you live your life, you do your best, things can be tough, but you tell yourself “At least I’ve never had to look at Dustin’s nipple.” And then one morning…
MW:
“Saturday,
In the park,
I think it was the 26th of July.”
— Chicago
No, wait a minute. That’s not quite it. And it isn’t Sunday Quote Box time yet, anyway.
MW: Just let me freshen up. Did you ever try to change an adult diaper in a plane bathroom? By the way, where do your folks keep the air freshener?
Lockhorns – Man of still. Leroy is unconscious after many bourbons and will awake mid-matinee, confused, surly, and ready to complain loudly that that isn’t HIS Superman
“Don’t share too much personal information online, or you might end up enslaved by warlords in a mine in Africa” is a timely message that today’s comics readers need to hear.
That’s not even a joke these days!
MW: Ooooo, Central Park. Is Shove Shovington still in “business” lo these many years later?
Crankshaft : Mom makes it all better for having had to throw your favorite sweater away because she damaged it in the wash by buying you tickets to an even HALFWAY ACROSS THE CONTINENT, IN A DIFFERENT COUNTRY.
I note she’s only holding up TWO tickets. I wonder : is the massively hyped “Crankshaft meets the Winnipeg Blue Bombers” arc WON’T INVOLVE CRANKSHAFT AT ALL, or is Mom staying behind because she can’t understand men’s passions and hobbies?
************
Dustin : this is payback for when Dustin had a depressive episode and couldn’t even get out of bed and Ed just berated him about it.
************
Frazz : When is the Olsen/Frazz race taking place? Does Frazz intend to run a race while he’s STILL ON CRUTCHES?
************
Lockhorn : “…Stalin?” “No, Superman. Why did you think the ‘Man of Steel’ meant Joseph Sta- OH! Now I understand something about ‘Superman : Red Son’ that I didn’t before! …Mark Millar probably thought he was being pretty clever and sneaky, huh?”
***********
Phantom and Flash Gordon : Two of the Defenders of the Earth are having concurrent storylines about the hero having to infiltrate (and probably eventually destroy) a prison labor camp. The third one would be joining them as well, but… Mandrake’s being stuck in a crudely-drawn timeloops of incoherent, constantly rerunning storylines for… I wanna say almost two decades now?
@Needless Exposition: Yeah, Dustin is a walking school shooting. His whole family abuses him constantly, and he just doesn’t care.
FC: While Billy pulls the cone to his left and stares down Barfy, Sammy on the other side grabs the whole scoop in his mouth.
CS: I compared Jeff to Rain Man earlier in the week, and I’ll ask again: is Jeff neurodivergent? Because they’re treating his Blue Bombers t-shirt like it’s his comfort object.
MW:
“Let’s go to Central Park!”
“Let’s. Do you think your parents would like to come?”
“Nah, they’re fucking.”
Today we learned that The Lockhorns doesn’t take place in Pittsburgh, where “still” and “steel” are pronounced the same and the joke wouldn’t make sense. I mean we already knew The Lockhorns doesn’t take place in Pittsburgh, and the joke doesn’t make sense anyway, but still. Steel. Whatever.
Mary Worth is making very sure that Olive’s family knows she had a nap on the plane. Ed’s work as a doctor may be paying off with the kind of Upper East Side domicile that means he’s laundering money, or doing extensive Medicare fraud, or that all the ads in the subway for his Botox practice paid off, but can they nap on a plane? I doubt it!
@Bob Tice: That’s simply explained. They just took standard clip art of the dad and laid it horizontal. It was either the sweater, the suit, or the wife-beater from the ‘at the doctor’ strips.
@Anonymous: She specifically says the tickets are ‘for you and Dad’ and Cranky is pumping is fist and declaring ‘road trip!’ so she won’t be going to the game, but she will be dropping the kids off so she can go shopping in the meantime. Wimmen, amirite?
While blowing up The Lockhorns to clip it so the writer’s signature looks like “Hoes,” I noticed that Leroy has fallen asleep holding his glasses. Have we ever seen him wear them?
Dustin, this is a great time to get out the hose.
L’horns: Leroy removed the legs from the sofa just to add a few inches to his dramatic couch-swoon. Now that’s commitment to the bit.
I’m still a bit confused about Phantom’s labour camp setup – it now sounds like the town was completely abandoned and repopulated with people tricked to coming for jobs. But I thought the town was on a downturn from the mines playing out, the buildings weren’t dilapidated, so was there a local population that was literally rounded up and enslaved? Contrast that with Flash, which set up Edda’s job trafficking quite clearly in a few strips interspersed with wild robot fighting and part of a Sunday recaps. One of these two strips I read for fun not to keep up with the snark, guess which?
Crankshaft There is of course an online store, many authourized dealers, and I am sure knockoffs. But I actually appreciate the idea that they understood how much the shirt meant to Jeff and so it’s not just about replacing it, it’s about doing something to make up for it.
Now if only they understood as much about laundry stain removal. Soooo many colour fast treatment options (I have kids who would shower in ketchup given the chance, but the bleach in the house is for disinfecting the sink and such and isn’t even in the laundry room)
Preparing to snark on the strip mangling Winnipeg landmarks in 3… 2… 1…
Dustin: No wonder this kid never gets anywhere in life. Cutting the rope holding the hammock by his father’s head was right there. “You asked me to get you out!”
@Banana Jr. 6000: It’s like watching someone’s villain arc unfolding but in such a way that their actions are fully justified due to the victims deserving every single thing that happens to them.
One of my all-time favorite comments on our site was someone writing that when you get mugged, you should always mime eating a Subway sandwich.
GT: “I should have been a better character.”
“Its not too late to do better.”
“Yes it is. Look at this. Do you even know what is happening in panel 1. Is this a dance? A Bob Hope USO show?”
“I love you Ker. (sigh). No one else does though.”
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX:
Hah! Or, the universal blow-job sign!
And when doing the mugging, one should always wear a suit and dress shoes with a mock turtleneck like a Brooklyn hipster. Ol’ Shovey was one well-dressed mugger. Just needed a haircut.
Mary Worth Mashup: What I hope is happening.
@4 Twinkles the Elf: In sub-Saharan Africa, everyone sweats. BO won’t be unique to Stripey Butt. And Spandex that’s sewn to “create” abs and other muscles like those worn by actors in superhero movies.
Cranky: I checked, and Winnipeg, Manitoba, is a mere 18 hours away from Ohio. That’s some road trip.
@7 Bob Tice: DustinDad’s ashamed of his manboobs that makes a Plugger look like he has Arnold Schwarzenegger’s pecs in 1978.
@19 Astroboy: Take a peek at comment #37.
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: One of my all-time favorite comments on our site was someone writing that when you get mugged, you should always mime eating a Subway sandwich.
I don’t remember that one. lease explain.
Phantom: “Like that guy there? He’s into this depraved porn by a married couple who hate each other. The impotent husband lies on his recliner, while the dissatisfied wife forces him to watch her find satisfaction with her priapic lover. And sickest of all, she cracks puns connecting her husband’s erectile dysfunction to popular superhero movies. Perverted stuff.”
“I’m taking the Man of Still to see the Man of Steel. Stupidman is going to go to Superman. Clark Can’t to Clark Kent. This sleeping man to see a woke movie. Or is wack man to woke movie better? I’m still workshopping that one.”
Dustin: “Well gee Dad, I’d love to help you, but it’s like you keep telling me every chance you get, I’m just to lazy and unmotivated to do anything about it. Maybe you should pull yourself up by your bootstraps and get yourself out…oh, what’s that? You’re unable to get out on your own thanks to circumstances beyond your control, and not from any lack of will or moral failing? Well then, I don’t know what to tell you. Maybe Mom will help; you haven’t insulted the food you insist on making her prepare when she gets home from her full-time job while you loaf on the couch watching Family Feud reruns lately…oh, you have? Well then, you’d better pray the stench of your decaying body pulls Meg away from her phone long enough to determine the source.”
Phantom: Because the real danger is militant rebels in the Global South, not oligarchical authoritarian governments in bed with Big Tech.
JP: Well, that’s not very gentlemanly.
MW: Generally, you don’t need to specify WHICH park you want to go to, New Yorkers will assume you mean the nearest one, so you just say “the park.”
Olive: “Let’s go to Central Park!”
Mary: “Nah, I want to go to VAN CORTLANDT Park. We can see Yonkers from there.”
Olive: “It’s a little….far.”
Mary: “How about the Adirondacks Nature Preserve? It’s only six hours north. I’ll call an Uber.”
@Tabby Lavalamp: How about “I’m taking the man from the crypt to see the man from Krypton.”
@Lord Flatulence: Look at the strip from that day (it’s linked in my post). She has one cupped hand out, like she would be holding a sub. Unfortunately, the comments are no longer on there, but that’s what the commenter said. Of course, as Astroboy cogently pointed out, she could have been miming a blow job. That’s what I’d like to think it really was.
@Baja Gaijin: That’s what immediately came to mind.
@Lord Flatulence: Par for the course in the midwest(:
The Lockhorns: Leeroy is totally dead on the couch.
Dustin: Dustin’s Dad is middle-aged at most and has not shown any signs of disability even once. He can absolutely get out of a fucking hammock on his own and any claim to the contrary is simply him engaging in his usual pathetic attention-seeking. So kudos to Dustin for recognizing that and instead giving the bastard a taste of his own medicine by responding to a request for help with unprompted verbal abuse.
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: Thanks. I guess I should do my research first.
@CanuckDownSouth: Too right (as Thel would say down under).
It’s all relative. For us in Minneapolis, 400 miles is a day trip, not a big deal. We might think of 600 miles as a helluva haul, but those in Montana would differ.
East Coasters have everything so close together that a couple hundred miles seems like a big deal. A few of us drove from NY on a Saturday to visit Hall of Fame graves, with the farthest point being Newark, Delaware, where we arranged to see a mutual friend, who said he first thought we were nucking futs to drive that far. But then he thought about it and realized it wasn’t that dang far (130 miles – I just looked it up). But with Philadelphia in between and Baltimore just beyond, it seemed like a big deal to him.
That said, 1,800 miles is quite a jaunt, esp. if you have Ed in the car with you.
Loretta missed a chance to mix that in with news of a trip to see the Dred Scott memorial.
So is The Lockhorns recycling a joke from when Henry Cavill debuted as Superman? Right deduction, wrong date. The comic has been running for 57 years, so my supersenses detect versions of the gag at the time of the first Reeve movie and the Routh movie. And knowing the paucity of imagination at the Lockhorns Industrial Complex, they probably dust it off for every TV incarnation as well.
Loretta’s true intention behind the Still-versus-Steel pun is to ridicule Leroy’s impotence.
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: You’re in Minneapolis? I’m near St Cloud – we’re practically neighbours!
Yeah, before I had kids I would drive to Winnipeg for weekend events like a nibling’s birthday by leaving from Friday work mid-afternoon, and then I would drive back Sunday after lunch. And that’s with expecting a half-hour delay at the border crossing due to weekend backups.
C’shaft: This was a long way to go to get her dad and husband out of the house for a few days so she can have some peace, but I can’t blame Pam for putting in the effort.
DT: No, I’m sorry, I don’t care if it’s the genus name for hammerheads, “Sphryna” is not an appropriate handle for a fat, cigar-chomping, whiskey-belting loan shark who calls women “dollface.” That’s a name that should belong to an elegant contract killer, or perhaps an alien princess if you want to do one of your Moon Men stories.
… and for 1800ish miles, that’s when you start searching for mini stops like “looks like dying birds” regional airport sculpture via a site like RoadsideAmerica. At least get Crankshaft out of the car and malapropping about something else once in a while.
Dustin: If Dustin does help he should just give that hammock a quick flip, dumping Dustdad’s fat ass to the ground.
Pluggers: Andrew Bear, are you drinking mayo out of the jar again?
@CanuckDownSouth: My friend Roger the Perv (can’t call him Roger the Dirty Old Man because he’s sensitive about his age) is a CFL fan. We drove to a Blue Bombers game one year and flew to Ottawa for the Grey Cup the next year. For the Winnipeg trip, Roger outlined the itinerary. He’d pick me up at 7 a.m. and we’d get to Fargo by 11, when the Hooters opened, for lunch. Then to Winnipeg, where we’d meet up with others and go to the game and then to the adjacent Hooters after the game.
My first time in Winnipeg was when I was in college and went with a couple guys to a broomball tournament hosted by our Manitoba fraternity chapter. We got strip-searched at the Pembina crossing.
We should try to organize a Minnesota Mudge meet and greet. I think we have a Mudge in Duluth and several in the Twin Cities. Maybe we could do Tobie’s in Hinckley.
JP: An experienced spy? April should know to keep her back to the wall and eye on the door.
JUMP START: Is the speaker the mother who drives like an idiot? If not, I don’t get it he strip today.
FRAZZ: As a Plugger, i gotta agree. Young people need the energy, idealism, health for all the mountains they’ve got to climb. We Pluggers just need the energy to get to the Early Bird Special.
PHANTOM: so Kit finds and burns the paper files and erases the private info on the hard drives. But the Cloud! Can he destroy copies saved in the Cloud?
MANDRAKE: I’m still hoping Blanche is Mays long lost mom. Blanche deserves it as much as Truck
@CanuckDownSouth:
#59. CS: be sue they stop at Missouri’s Road Kill Cafe
Don Abundio, translated:
“Hilda! Look at that sunrise!”
“Isn’t that worth getting up early for?”
“Yes, boss!”
“And if you didn’t drink so much, you’d know that’s the sunset!”
DUSTIN: Getting out of a hammock is easy. It’s hitting the ground that’s tricky.
PHANTOM: Meanwhile, miles away, Trump puts Colonel Wombu on his contact list. (In America, today’s “joke” becomes tomorrow’s executive order! That’s what makes our country the greatest!)
PHANTOM (2): Colonel Wombu: “It’s odd how many prisoners “volunteer” their personal information when you threaten to waterboard them. Real odd how coincidentally the timing seems to work out on that huh?”
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: I am pretty ordinary to the border guards – nothing like your frat-era experience, worst we ever got was nasal test *plus* being interviewed to the side about quarantine plans in Pandemic Summer #2. But I always expect a delay just from traffic.
Minnesota Mudge Meetup could be a bunch of fun…
Beetle Bailey: “Silvermine Country Club”? Years of physical labor on a golf course made completely of mine tailings explains a lot about Zero.
H&L: Hi’s not smart enough to stop serving Thirsty beers after the seventh inning. In a sheer coincidence, Thirsty hasn’t brrn to ab actual ballpark since 1995.
CS: Strange how man-baby/eunuch Jeff berates his wife more over that stupid shirt than he did his father in law for ruining his comic book collection.
The other day the Schlockhornes identified the woman as “Helen”. Not much,but its something.
Slylick Fox and Comix For Kinx: How to draw The Wizard Of Id’s Wolfaroo. Don’t reach into her pouch!
The Old Krazy Glue™ in the Hammock Trick! Maybe Dustbin should see if there are any openings in KAOS.
CS: As a Canadian who is, in fact, a fan of the Winnipeg Blue Bombers, I have no idea what is going on here. This makes no sense. Why is Jeff the Eunuch a Bombers fan? I seems frightfully random.
MW- “Freshen Up” = “Drop a Duece”
GT: OK, so that’s Dorothy now. A few days ago I assumed it was horse girl Britney, then I thought it was Mimi when they referred to Britney in the third person, but now it’s Dorothy. What happened to Berlin? BTW, is every chick in Milford now LBGQT?
REX MORGAN M.D.: Ok, these two just had sex right? And that’s why they’re sharing a tearful, tender embrace? (“We’ll keep that to ourselves” indeed!) I understand guys. I’ve seen Brokeback Mountain. I know that the sheer intimacy two men on the throes of hot writhing passion can share can really hit them in the “feels.” Boy those orgasms must have been really powerful to produce the kind of waves of overwhelming ecstasy that can bring you to tears, huh?
JP: Making a special guest appearance from Mary Worth, Shovy McShovington!
Pluggers: Andrew Bear! Did you spill bleach on my Winnipeg Blue Bombers jersey?
Pluggers: Shouldn’t Andy Bear’s formal name be Andrew Bruin Ursadae?
@Left Nut: I always assumed that Mary’s constantly saying “NAP” was her euphemism for dropping a deuce.
MW: Hmmmm. Upper east side, walking distance from Central Park, Will Mary run into 3 very fashionable women, one of whom is a writer who discovers Mary is “Ask Wendy.” “Oh I steal from you all the time!” Tarrie gushes to Mary.
Curtis: Billingsley has remembered both that he was doing a storyline before he got bored, and that the storyline had featured a slow-burn “this woman may have psychic powers” bit for two strips until he got bored of that even faster. Tomorrow’s Sunday, so that’s always completely unrelated, but let’s see what happens on Monday. Maybe Curtis will have finally made friends with that stray dog!
FG: Okay, if randomised spatial discs can send people into Mongovian orbit, Flash is incredibly lucky he happened to be sent to the part of Mongovian orbit that had a factory station in it.
S4th: If only Ces had realised he wanted to stretch this out for some reason early enough to have ever mentioned a wine stain on the painting before!
Oh, BTW, yesterday TheDiva was asking if the Pardon My Planet characters were actual recurring characters or Far Side style repeated faces, and I got way too invested in researching this. I posted my results, but between it being CoTW day and the moderation bot having some kind of problem with posts that contain nine seperate links, one of which includes the word “underwear”, I assume nobody’s seen it. It’s out of jail now, so if anyone cares, here’s what I found.
@CanuckDownSouth:
#31. CS: I used to sell tshirts and hoodies, many shoppers put them aside until I started including laundry instructions. “COLD water, only COLD water. As soon as you spill catsup, mustard, coke on it rinse the spot ASAP with COLD water. Maybe use a bit of soap or squirt of Shout, and then rinse again with COLD water.
“. It works.
@Guillermo el Chiclero: Well, all the guys have the sex appeal and emotional IQ of Gil Thorp sooooooo….
(They might switch teams again once they can get their driver’s license and access to other towns)
FG: What a lucky break! Just jump out the window, you’ll be back on Mongo in no time.
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: Winnipeg’s most famous export to Minnesota was a former Golden Gopher athlete who earned his coaching spurs leading the Blue Bombers to the Grey Cup championship.
The Minnesota Vikings asked him to interview for their head coaching job.
A team employee was sent to meet him at the airport.
He asked the general manager what Bud Grant looked like.
The GM said: “Just look for the guy who looks like the town marshal”.
And just for Daisy… The Argyle Sweater: Big pun!
@Activist: Oh yes, absolutely, treat as fast as you can is a big part – I do use an oxi-thing treatment I started buying when diaper and baby food messes were an issue, works a treat on ketchup, spaghetti sauce, and curry and never given me colourfastness issues. Bleach would be a desperation measure for me.
At first, Wanda was cool about all this. By now I’m wondering if she’s starting to think that Truck is spending a little too much time in this hotel with Cody. Here she is slinging SOS all day while her so called fiance has a good cry with another guy? And the dishes are piling up in the kitchen? Time to get back to work Truck! At least if Cody comes to the wedding she’ll be able to keep an eye on them. If there is still a wedding.
@Ukulele Ike: The trouble is that space isn’t far, space is fast, e.g. https://what-if.xkcd.com/58/
This of course leads to “just how do those Kiran disks work” questions. Is it tied to another object? Because tied to a “place” that is zipping around is… something.
@Horace Broon:
#80 PMP: thanks for the research! At various times I’ve seen Jesse and Norris married, engaged, or just cohabiting
CURTIS: and to return the favor, several of us think Grammy and the hurt dog are the same spirit.
@80 Horace Broon:
Your explanation was way more interesting than Pardon My Planet ever is.
Mary’s gonna go roll a join er..uh..ahem..”freshen up”.
@CanuckDownSouth: Wizards, baby.
Or, in the case of Kira, a hot half-naked witch queen.
Dustin: How sharper than a serpent’s tooth it is to have exactly the child you deserve.
Lockhorns: “Oh, so we can’t hang out? Darn, what a shame.”
Phantom: I guess the implication here is that since the miners provided things like their mother’s maiden name on the applications their loved ones are now vulnerable to attack. Really having a job of it putting that together from what Stripey has overheard, though.
Lio: Why Baja Gaijin will not watch clown shows.
9CL: We’re pretty far from “show, don’t tell” here. The only thing Brooke is showing is a guy who wouldn’t be allowed within 500 feet of Jonny’s school.
C-Shaft: The next Blue Bombers game takes place in Toronto. Oh joy, we get to hear how Crankshaft mangles the word “poutine.”
DT: Tess needs to shut her phone now before she’s unable to suppress the Belle Batsfrey “heh-heh” building up in her.
GA: That famous definition of insanity—probably not an Einstein quote—as “doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result”? Unsurprisingly, no one in Gasoline Alley seems to have heard of it.
GT: It must be love if Dorothy doesn’t mind getting the unflattering nickname “Dorth.”
JP: Hey, looks like Butterbeard actually did get April. Probably when she was jetlagged and sleep deprived, but he won’t be telling anyone that part.
MW: And then something else will need freshening up. The Taylors had almost forgotten Mary the Bathroom Wrecker.
@95 Artist formerly known as Ben:
And we get to see how Jeff ruins his new tee shirt by getting poutine all over it.
@Anonymous: Mom’s staying behind, because she knows she must sacrifice her own desires to properly seek the child’s forgiveness. Which is sick. DEAL WITH YOUR MOMMY ISSUES, “BATTON.”
Since he likes an early warning, I’m warning Baja Gaijin not to read tomorrow’s Bizarro.
@Horace Broon:
FG: Except it was indicated in Dale’s story that the disks weren’t actually random; a week ago Dale said “The spatial disk was their way to bring [Lingan] back to Kira.”
@Artist formerly known as Ben:
I notice many of you are commenting on Mary dropping a deuce and befouling a bathroom. With good reason. I tip my toilet seat to Mary. She is an ace when it comes to a deuce.
Also tor those who have inquired, I am no relation to that baseball player named the Big Dumper.
@Activist: Interesting! I certainly hope this story is more coherent than it appears.
@Anne: Oops, that’s right, the disks had set co-ordinates but it was just that Team Flash had no idea what they were. My mistake.
I love Dustins like this, they make me muse what the world would be like if we were all as insufferably passive aggressive as this wretched family.
Like, perhaps, Frederick the Great, saying Maria Theresa “COULD have the throne, if you’re into that kind of thing.”
Abraham Lincoln telling the Confederacy that “we worked pretty hard on this country, but I guess that doesn’t matter to you.”
Reagan telling the Soviets “hey, your wall is great, but you probably could’ve said more about it, first.”
A world of Dustin. It’s not quite as bad as Frazz.
The Family Circus Spanish to English.
Zits Spanish to English.
DT: Man, Lou Grant has really come down since that TV station in Minneapolis fired him.
@Bob Tice: To be fair to the creators, this is something they got right. Teenagers are routinely seen in shorts in the winter – and I live in a northern four season part of the USA. See kids come in in shorts and tees while there is snow on the ground.
Six Chex and A Cat Named O.G. Readmore In Search Of A Punchline: admittedly, I’m not up on trendy stuff, but shouldn’t the Chix be taking EU readers and E-chips to the beach instead of physical books and bags of chips? What is this? 1969?!?
Six Chex and A Cat Named O.G. Readmore In Search Of A Punchline: admittedly, I’m not up on trendy stuff, but shouldn’t the Chix be taking E-readers and E-chips to the beach instead of physical books and bags of chips? What is this? 1969?!?
@107 GarrisonSkunk:
@108 GarrisonSkunk:
Uh oh. Double trouble.
@Guillermo el Chiclero: I believe the Lou Grant resemblance is coincidental, but you know how much Curtis loves crossovers, and if nothing else I’m sure Costello knows it too.
Dustin:
“Help? You want my help? Shouldn’t you just pick yourself up by the bootstraps and get yourself out? It’s what you tell me every day.”
@Sequitur: I was looking up Bizarro “Waldo” comics.
I never realized how much of a comedic goldmine Waldo is, because Bizarro has done a TON of them.
@JamesBont: You have a POINT
Dustdad constantly chides Dustin for not doing things for himself (getting a job, his own place etc..)
But when it’s his turn to be independent he’s all “Help me!!!” in the most Slippy Toad-est voice I can imagine.
@Sequitur:
@Artist formerly known as Ben:
Crankshaft: “No use pout-ing about it”
@112 The Rambling Otter:
Did you get a chance to see the “otter with pancakes” clip I posted last night?
@Y159 Sequitur:
Baja has not shown up yet so in his absence I present late thread cuisine.
Yes, those are fish heads. They say the Brits love this.
@Sequitur: Awwww :3 yeah!
It’s very sweet and cute, thank you :)
And I deeply apologize, I must have missed it somehow, I don’t know how in the world I did. But I appreciate it! :3
@117 The Rambling Otter:
Glad you liked it. Keep going with fine pancakes. Mark Trail and Rip Haywire will appreciate it.
@1169 Sequitur: That’s so fake! Those fish have zero green olive slice eyes!
Late Thread Cuisine: The burgers look OK until you see the recipe.
@120 Baja Gaijin:
Those onion rings look like the gaskets they use in the caps of laundry detergent. And they’re plastic.
@Sequitur: I was considering making a Mark Trail reference when I first presented them, but I couldn’t get the wording quite right ^^;
@119 Baja Gaijin:
To tell you the truth I’m not sure that wasn’t AI generated.
@122 The Rambling Otter:
Go with Rip Hauwire. He makes Mark Trail’s pancake jones look pathetic.
@80 Horace Broon: OH.MY.GOD. You have far too much time on your hands to research and write up such a thorough treatise about Pardon My Planet. Have a vegan haggis on me.
@94 Sequitur: You got that right, pardner!
@98 Sequitur: Thanks!
@121 Sequitur: Who knows, the onion rings may in fact have been laundry detergent cap gaskets. It’s not like anyone was planning to eat them. At least there were no whole shrimps with extremely long antennae involved in the garnishes.
@126 Baja Gaijin:
Oh, now you did it. You evoked the Shrimp Duet.