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Between Friends, 8/15/25
Way back during the dot-com boom I joined a startup with a business model only slightly less speculative than the espresso-martini distillery Susan’s so pumped about. It ended in the predictable way. But at least my decision wasn’t based on the prospect of lounging at home getting hammered on the product (semiconductor futures contracts, how would that even work?).
Flash Gordon, 8/15/25
I am mildly claustrophobic, and if somebody came along and freed me from days of imprisonment in a tight steel helmet I would probably react pretty much the way enslaved factory worker Edda does here. Don’t judge me!
Breaking Cat News, 8/15/25
I read Breaking Cat News every day. In my defense, sometimes a fella just needs a break between Luann and Crankshaft, you know? Usually it’s just cats reporting on news of significance to cats: Lupin is stuck in a drawer, There’s a cricket somewhere in the apartment, Breakfast is MISSING, that sort of thing.
But boy, things have sure taken a dark turn. The Woman is fostering bunny Miss Elizabeth while the Quinn Animal Shelter rebuilds after storm damage. Elizabeth may or may not (rabbit genealogies are complex) be descended from a colony of rabbits freed from Grimtech Labs in a daring rescue a while back. The experimental history of those now-feral rabbits left them with glowing red eyes, lunar cycle entrainment, and other signs of metamorphosis; the cats’ consensus is zombification. The Zombie Bunnies returned at full moon, claimed not to know Miss Elizabeth (but then rabbit genealogies are complex), gnomically announced “time is running out,” and disappeared. In other news, “zombie” is apparently an acceptable term, but “witch” is not. Supernatural etiquette is hard!
Pajama Diaries, 8/15/25
OK look I realize now that’s a trademark symbol but it sure looked like an apostrophe at first and I thought this strip was heading in an entirely different direction, GPS or no. Apologies!
Herb and Jamaal, 8/15/25
Reverend Croom apparently thinks Jeffrey Epstein should have been released and his files published so an angry mob would tear him limb from limb. New Testament words; Old Testament justice.
Mary Worth, 8/15/25
Olive’s Mean Girl classmates shun and bully her because of her oh-so-special precognitive gifts. So her saving a drowning classmate precisely because of those gifts would make for a taut, satisfying resolution to their conflict. But this is Mary Worth, so the special gifts in play here are “looks at stuff” and “took swimming lessons.”
Just a reminder that there are no Comments of the Week on my watch, so Tabby Lavalamp’s tart Neddy Spencer put-down gets to ride up there another week. Hooray!
—Uncle Lumpy
69 replies to “Full disclosure”
Phantom:
Resourceful young Kai’s racing off on her bike
A trip to the brush will be quite the long hike
The dust she kicks up’s simply out of control:
Why don’t they do paving at Jungle Patrol?
Now, meanwhile, the bad guys discuss things and fret
They haven’t deciphered what happened here yet
The Phantom’s flung fists have just taken their toll:
Two less for dispatching by Jungle Patrol
Forgive me, but checking things out at the fore
I see there’s this placard: “C 1 – 6 – 6 – 4”
This sign at the gate must serve some kind of role:
I’ll bet it’s a code word for Jungle Patrol!
Flash Gordon:
Cornered mice pop open? — that’s a new one to me!
MW-“Oh no! The girl I want to schtup might drown.”
FC-How long will it take them to offend somebody?
Pajama Diaries:
“Immediate right turn to observe pulmonary tuberculosis patients in public.”
“What feature of that would make it something you’d find in the suburbs, Siri — or whoever you are?”
“Conspicuous consumption!”
MW:
“I know that Olive told me that she was a devotee of ‘New Wave,’ but this is taking things a bit too far!”
Flash Gordon:
His escape and his safety secure, Flash phones his mom Norah to tell her about his harrowing adventure. “And on top of all that, Ma, this really attractive young lady that I saved shares my fondness for snacking on steamed soybeans.”
“Really? — what’s her name, Flash?”
“ ‘Edda,’ Mommy !”
Between Friends: They say never have your picture taken from underneath… and it really does seem unfair to show this lady from a ghastly-looking chin-first perspective just as she throws her head back, thus ruining her moment of greatest happiness. Luckily, her new job will give her access to plenty of forget-about-it-juice.
Flash Gordon: “Flesh Gordon,” am-I-right? (People who snuck into R-rated midnight movies when they were teenagers will know what I’m talking about.)
Mary Worth: If I’m remembering yesterday’s strip correctly, Olive is 15 feet from a professional lifeguard. I guess you can be a real psychic and have delusions of grandeur, since all she really needed to do to save her classmate was say, “Hey, drowning person over there!” in a slightly raised voice.
Hi and Lois: Look, Chip has a KISS poster on his wall, just as they’re about to receive this year’s Kennedy Center Honors! Who knew that a 70-year-old comic referencing a 50-year-old band could still be on the cutting edge of popular culture?
Flash Gordon:
Now, is that hurtling, bullet-shaped capsule depicted in the first panel supposed to be kind of like the train with Cary Grant’s Roger Thornhill and Eva Marie Saint’s Eve Kendall in it, going into the tunnel at the end of North by Northwest?
Breaking Cat News: Did you know a group of rabbits is now known as a fluffle?
I don’t understand the fuss. The most powerful man in the world blatantly overreaches his jurisdiction to hide evidence of his depraved child abuse, and his subordinates collaborate in a desperate bid to hold on to their share of power while the eyes of the world look on and demand truth and accountability. Why do people fight over this? Why is it a conflict? What is a conflict?
The Family Circus: Yes, Jeffy, your wish is my command.
Mary Worth: As we saw in yesterday’s strip, the life guard is right there, looking out to sea in the same direction and a higher vantage point. If the swimmer could be seen with normal eyes, he’d have seen it already. Thus, our only conclusion is that Olive saw a swimmer drowning in the future, and immediately swam out to rescue her, not realizing that the idiotic riptide swimmer she foretells is *herself*.
Mary knows, of course. But she won’t stop it.
I spent five minutes looking for the trademark symbol in Pajama Diaries, went to do laundry and finally spotted when I came back. Better than Shylock Fox!
MW: With her unfortunate gift of seeing wave action of the future, Olive was turned down for the role eventually ceded to Deborah Kerr in “From Here to Eternity.”
MW: “Oh no! What if she doesn’t give ME any credit when she gets the key to the city?”
RMMD: All this time, I was picturing him looking like Mr Potato Head.
Barbie’s cooter
@Tunicate:
A Night Gallery or Twilight Zone episode! Presented for your entertainment. A seer that sees tragedy not realizing it is her own demise. Sometimes when the bell tolls it tolls for thee.
Barbie’s Cooter is a good band name.
I trust that the horny Flash Gordon woman is named Edda as a coincidence, and not a sign that Chickweedification has begun to infect other strips.
Hope this is an okay place for a scrotal interlude:
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
Hibbleton
August 9th, 2025 at 4:37 am Reply
Marvin’s dad didn’t forget to turn off the hose. He’s just diluting the inevitable.
Liam
August 9th, 2025 at 3:46 am Reply
Blondie-“And by hose I mean my…”
ValdVin
August 9th, 2025 at 7:16 am Reply
Arlo & Janis: Jimmy Johnson depicts exactly what it’s like to be a cat staffer. Nobody actually “owns” a cat.
…”In a small cabin aboard the supply rocket, a key clicks into place. The stiff lock squeaks like a cornered mouse” really is how 9CL would convey something I’d rather not know, isn’t it. Dammit.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
MKay
August 9th, 2025 at 4:41 am Reply
MW: Olive has quickly learned that the price of a meal with Mary Worth is obsequious ass-kissing.
RMMD: Lorna’s attitude makes me think that this is not the first time she’s welcomed one of Daddy’s by-blows.
Hibbleton
August 10th, 2025 at 4:51 am Reply
Dustin: Today’s depiction of a bar scene with men and women happily interacting serves to assure the readers that the actual number of involuntary celibate males in society has not reached the dangerous levels the comic sometimes implies.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
Needless Exposition
August 10th, 2025 at 4:09 am Reply
MW: Olive is bullied by her classmates, ignored by her parents, thinks she has “unique gifts,” and her best friend is a creepy old woman who refers to them as “kindred spirits.” She’s going to make a therapist very, very rich one day.
Uncle Lumpy on Luann: “Ha, ha, the DA pushed for “intent to defraud” and Brad didn’t plead out. Saved seventy-eight cents; got five years. So I ask: is a year of Brad’s life really worth sixteen cents? Let’s have a reader poll!”
taig
August 10th, 2025 at 6:42 am Reply
Luann: In response to the poll: no. As far as the strip goes, I’m unhappy we’re going to find out what the Evanses think about “conjugal visits.”
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
pugfuggly
August 10th, 2025 at 4:53 am Reply
CSh: Non-Canadian readers might assume that it’s the Royal Canadian Mounted Police that is escorting Ed off the field, but check the uniforms: more purple than scarlet. No, that’s the infamous Matheson Marauders, a paramilitary outfit established by the Blue Bombers to deal with ageing American interlopers.
Lord Flatulence
August 11th, 2025 at 4:35 am Reply
Mary Worth: Olive is a very gifted and talented girl. Just ask her!
astroboy
August 11th, 2025 at 4:57 am Reply
MW: There’s no way Olive and Mary brought swimsuits with them to a steakhouse, so that means they went back to Olive’s house to get them. How did that work, Mary shouted through Ed-n-Evy’s bedroom door that she was taking their 14-year old daughter to the beach and they stopped making the sign of the 2-humped whale long enough to yell back “Yeah, sure, OK, whatever?”
Also, it’s easy to see why Olive’s schoolmates and even her own parents detest her, what with the endless, ENDLESS “I’m so different, I’m so special, I’m so gifted, nobody understands me” routine. Put a pimento in it, Olive.
Maltmash3r
August 11th, 2025 at 4:59 am Reply
MW- could she possibly be unpopular because she can’t shut up about being so special?
2+2=7
August 11th, 2025 at 7:37 am Reply
MARY WORTH: Now to be fair, Olive, I’m pretty sure your parents don’t wish you were a “normal” kid. After all a normal kid would ask intrusive questions like, “Why do you keep leaving me alone with this old unrelated busybody I barely know?” or “Dad, why do you keep playing ‘Hide the Salami’ with mother? Just keep it in the fridge like a normal person, sheesh!”
Tits Taylor
August 11th, 2025 at 6:37 am Reply
Mary: “Let’s take off our tops and compare nipples.”
GarrisonSkunk
August 11th, 2025 at 6:45 am Reply
@Tits Taylor: Mary: “Let’s take off our tops and compare nipples.”
____________________________________________
“Mary, I’m not Wilber Weston for corn’s sake!”, Olive whines, Fred Mertz-ily.
BigTed
August 11th, 2025 at 2:23 am Reply
Mary Worth: “They accept me. They have no choice. Not only because they’re my parents, but because if anyone isn’t nice to me, I’ll ‘send them to the cornfield.’ Ha, just kidding! No, but really, Mary, you should cool it with the meddling if you know what’s good for you.”
Pluggers: I understand the wordplay here, but it’s pretty much impossible to sell live worms in cans. I mean, Chef Boyardee Spaghetti & Meatballs comes close, but only in terms of texture.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
brendancalling
August 11th, 2025 at 5:13 am Reply
Luann: So Tiffany goes back to work still wearing a lei she got on vacation and carrying her luggage?
Sure, that’s something that happens. At least we don’t have to watch Luann and Phil
mime a blowjobeat hot dogs.ValdVin
August 11th, 2025 at 8:04 am Reply
FC: Dolly’s getting a leg up on the other students by reading her Texas textbooks before the first day of school.
Daisy
August 11th, 2025 at 8:51 am Reply
FC: Unbelievable as it sounds, little Dolly went on to become the head of her history class in fifteen years.
Daisy
August 11th, 2025 at 9:00 am Reply
@Daisy:
…in Texas. (tip of the hat to ValdVin!)
I speak Jive
August 11th, 2025 at 9:26 am Reply
FC – Are they going on vacation again? Weren’t they just at the beach? Anything to get away from holier than thou Grandma.
taig
August 11th, 2025 at 6:53 am Reply
FC: Bil and Thel are all, “Thanks, Dolly! That’s going to be another dumb fucking thing Jeffy repeats to everyone, making us look like bad parents.”
CS:
Filthy comments.Richard Morningwood
August 11th, 2025 at 7:21 am Reply
@taig:
CS: Filthy comments.
—
Could have been worse. Ed could have transposed the words to say “Lap! I dumped poutine on my nuts.”
taig
August 11th, 2025 at 7:40 am Reply
@Richard Morningwood: Good point! Luckily(?), Batiuk isn’t that competent.
Lord Flatulence
August 11th, 2025 at 8:00 am Reply
@Richard Morningwood: CS: Oops! I just poutined in my pants.
TheDiva
August 11th, 2025 at 7:37 am Reply
C’shaft: Oh please, that is the least soiled Crankshaft’s pants have been in ages.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
pugfuggly
August 12th, 2025 at 4:45 am Reply
JP Judging from her hand gestures, this woman knows April because of Dat Ass.
I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV
August 12th, 2025 at 5:28 am Reply
Hi and Lois: That there? That there is the expression of a Dawg who realizes he is going to have to explain puppy mills to an infant. “Trixie, you know how your mother was always barefoot and pregnant before she became a real estate agent…?”
Tabby Lavalamp
August 12th, 2025 at 5:47 am Reply
Trixie can only attempt to communicate through her inner monologue, so I can only assume that expression on Dawg’s face is him finally noticing how messed up the baby’s hair is.
ValdVin
August 12th, 2025 at 7:20 am Reply
H&L: ” ‘Another family’? I’ve been licking the spot where my balls used to be since Chip was an only child. Thanks for reminding me about The Snip, you little twerp.”
Needless Exposition
August 12th, 2025 at 6:00 am Reply
MW: You know, Olive, being a delusional weirdo with “special gifts” isn’t why your parents and peers don’t like you. The reason why they don’t like you is because you literally can’t have a conversation without it being about how you’re a delusional weirdo with “special gifts” that no one wants to be around. People would rather deal with an actual delusional weirdo instead of a self centered narcissist like you.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
I speak Jive
August 13th, 2025 at 9:52 am Reply
FC – I was right! Dolly is dragging around a San Francisco pennant. That is a common sight in tourist areas – hordes of tourists waving pennants with the name of the city on them. I know that the first thing I look for when I shop for souvenirs is a plain pennant (no fancy-shmancy pictures of notable scenes) with the location’s name on it.
On another note, why isn’t Dolly telling Jeffy he’ll go to prison if he throws the ball in the water? Alcatraz is right there.
Liam
August 13th, 2025 at 2:15 am Reply
FC-“If we leave them on that island do you think they could get off,” Bil asks Thel.
MW-“Use your gifts, Olive. Let the hate flow through you.”
Needless Exposition
August 13th, 2025 at 4:21 am Reply
MW: The only way those girls would be there is if they knew about this trip ahead of time. Which only confirms my theory that Mary paid a group of college students to heckle Olive into believing that only Mary will understand her and comfort her.
lynn
August 13th, 2025 at 3:18 am Reply
MW: These are random bullies on the beach, or everyone in the NY Metro region knows Olive? (Or are they talking about Mary?)
DT: Holy cow, they have the Epstein list!
T Campbell
August 13th, 2025 at 5:12 am Reply
“Lot of names here, Sam.”
“I counted 211 names, Tracy.”
“Correction, Sam, 211 persons of interest.”
“YOU said ‘names’ first, Tracy.”
“Correction, Sam, I *vocalized* ‘names’ first.”
I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV
August 13th, 2025 at 5:15 am Reply
Dick Tracy: “Wait. Did you say ‘Dick’ or ‘dick’?”
[Wordless chewing]
Little Guy
August 13th, 2025 at 5:36 am Reply
DT: Dick gives a look at the ledger that’s usually reserved for a young teen going through his father’s hidden stash of Playboys.
Ken
August 13th, 2025 at 5:42 am Reply
@Little Guy: Yeah, I thought it notable that the only time Tracy opens his eyes (well, one eye) is when there are “persons of interest” to be
beaten and shot“interviewed”.Lord Flatulence
August 13th, 2025 at 5:56 am Reply
Dick Tracy: Dick’s got a hard-on.
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
Bob Tice
August 13th, 2025 at 3:55 am Reply
Slylock Fox:
This one’s a piece of cake — I’ve got it!
1. Proplyd 133-353
2. 2M0535-05A
3. KPNO-Tau-4
4. Cha J1110-7633
5. G-Q Lupi b
6. 2M 1207
7. HD100546 b
8. OTS 44
Oh. They meant our solar system, not exoplanets. Darn it all!
Treetown
August 13th, 2025 at 4:23 am Reply
RMMD: Yes a stranger barging into a family situation always make things better.
MKay
August 13th, 2025 at 4:34 am Reply
RMMD: Having found his half-siblings, Cody will not rest until they ALL welcome him. Refusal is not an option.
Hibbleton
August 13th, 2025 at 5:50 am Reply
B. Bailey: The General gets erect when two women approach his desk. O-o-o-kay
GarrisonSkunk
August 13th, 2025 at 7:41 am Reply
Beat Up Bailey: Isnt that more a “boing!” then a “bwang!”?
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
taig
August 13th, 2025 at 6:44 am Reply
CS: About time they enforced Canada’s infamous indecency laws! They’re going to have a difficult time determining how Ed shat the front of his pants, though.
TheDiva
August 13th, 2025 at 7:02 am Reply
C’shaft: Crankshaft lives for decades in Ohio, setting fires, turning kettle grills into ballistic missiles, endangering children, and inflicting terrible malapropisms on everyone within hearing distance, and nobody does anything about him. He goes to Winnipeg, and he can’t even soil his pants without getting arrested. This is why Canada keeps beating us on the World Happiness Index.
GarrisonSkunk
August 14th, 2025 at 2:39 am Reply
Mary’s Worst: A red flag means Biddy on the Beach – everyone immediately into the water!
Bob Tice
August 14th, 2025 at 1:59 am Reply
MW:
Red flag at morning
Meddlers take warning
— old nautical saw
Little Guy
August 14th, 2025 at 4:48 am Reply
MW: “See, Olive will rescue the bullies from the undertow and they will love her! Just like Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer!”
Narrator: “That’s not how real life works. The bullies will drown themselves rather than be rescued by her.”
LTJpezcore1
August 14th, 2025 at 5:34 am Reply
MW: Olive definitely knows that someone is going to be drowning (perhaps she will CAUSE it??) and is doing nothing to help. The lesson is going to be that….uhhh…well, obviously it’s going to be about…you know…uhhh….
Voshkod
August 14th, 2025 at 6:04 am Reply
“They’ve raised the Red Flag! The traditional symbol of Communism but also the sign that no quarter will be given in battle. Rise, comrade, let’s deal with those bullies.”
The Rambling Otter
August 14th, 2025 at 6:20 am Reply
Some have theorized about the bullies drowning and Olive saving them, but really, I think that’s too “exciting” for Mary Worth. Most likely, Mary will probably just meddle/force them into being Olive’s friend.
Rube
August 14th, 2025 at 6:25 am Reply
After decades in South California, Mary Worth has no idea about basic beach information. I know exposition is difficult, but Karen Moy is amazingly bad at it.
astroboy
August 14th, 2025 at 6:39 am Reply
MW: Olive’s going to stop speaking like AI wrote her lines long enough to save Curly McFreckles from drowning, thereby winning the admiration of Hatchetface Blonde bully and Spicy Latina bully.
Karen Moy is the worst writer in the history of writing. Anyone who can’t see this coming must have the IQ of pond scum..
Charterstoned
August 14th, 2025 at 7:01 am Reply
MW:
“I shut out all the noise…here by the water, as the ocean breeze calms me.”
Either Olive is trying to talk in haikus, or the diazepam is starting to kick in.
Maude R. Fawker
August 14th, 2025 at 12:25 pm Reply
Mary Worth: C’mON, June. You missed giving us the cameltoe we’ve all been praying for, by that much!
pugfuggly
August 14th, 2025 at 4:43 am Reply
MW “Either that or it’s a warning to beach goers that someone is blathering nonstop in the vicinity and it might be wise to move down the… heyyyy….”
Zits “…at the first sign of trouble we can all shit ourselves!”
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
Hibbleton
August 14th, 2025 at 4:41 am Reply
FC: Thel finally understands the crisis in suicides from people jumping off the Golden Gate.
“Can’t you kids shut the fuck up for ten minutes;” she thinks.
CanuckDownSouth
August 14th, 2025 at 4:51 am Reply
FC “Actually, pretty much yes – it’s a suspension bridge, the supports hold up the upper “strings” which then hold up the “strings” that go down to the road surface. The strings are very strong cables, just far away. Should I draw the free-body diagram with forces at various points to…” (kids run off screaming before they have to learn something)
I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV
August 14th, 2025 at 5:13 am Reply
The Family Circus: Well, Dolly, each of those “strings,” as you call them, is actually a mega-cable made up of 27,572 thinner cables, any one of which, if it broke, could slice your head clean off. Let’s go in for a closer look!
Your Favorite Foghat Cover Band
August 14th, 2025 at 12:42 pm Reply
FC: Yes, yes it is, you absolute tool.
Voshkod
August 14th, 2025 at 6:31 am Reply
The Golden Gate Bridge stood empty, the traffic of old just a memory of gridlock, the galvanized steel wires humming tunelessly in the unceasing wind. The mother had brought the children here, the end of a long journey, hoping that maybe someone had survived in San Francisco. The mother cried, the wind cried, for there was no one left.
What will we do now, mother?
She took their hands and led them out on to the span over the dark blue below.
We’ll go home now, children. Hold tight.
The fall. The cold.
– Cormac McCarthy, The Melonhead Road
The Quiet Man
August 14th, 2025 at 5:16 am Reply
JP: Psst, Ces… the CIA has a budget of millions, if not billions, of dollars. They can BUY a safehouse wherever they operate and don’t need to rent space like they’re some kind of mom-and-pop startup.
Ukulele Ike
August 14th, 2025 at 6:00 am Reply
RMMD: “Yeah, roots country drumming doesn’t pay much, so he had a day job as an undertaker.”
Scratchy’s Scrotums of the Week
ValdVin
August 14th, 2025 at 6:53 am Reply
Pluggers can remember when AM radio stations weren’t all warning them about vaccines’ links to autism, or the New World Order. But they listen to only AM anyway.
Arabella
August 14th, 2025 at 1:49 pm Reply
Pluggers: “Hello,this is Swap Shop. You’re on the air”
Caller: “I’m lookin’ to swap my 500 piece deluxe Craftsman tool set for a nice portable TV. A good one like they used to make.”
Carl Rhinowski: “Dang!”
Peanut Gallery
August 14th, 2025 at 1:10 pm Reply
Pluggers – Bo-ring. HIPSTER pluggers listen to shortwave.
Special Scrotal Awards to the Best No. 69 and Beyond of the Week
69. Poteet
August 9th, 2025 at 10:39 am Reply
MW: I am desperately wishing that these two would talk about something more interesting and specific than the repetitive kindred-spirit mutual admiration they’ve been spouting so far. Ordinarily, as an out-of-it Boomer, I might be nervous about a young teen in 2025 bursting into a monologue full of current slang and pop-culture references that I don’t understand at all. But this is MW, so no danger. I mostly just want to find out if Olive is a devoted fan of quilting or Gilbert and Sullivan or baking Victoria sponge cake or maybe all of the above.
69. ectojazzmage
August 12th, 2025 at 7:25 am Reply
Hi And Lois: Uh oh! Looks like Dawg’s secret – that he’s actually just one branch of an incomprehensible eldritch entity that manifests in our puny mortal world as copies of a dog, working to bring about humanity’s doom – is about to be exposed! Too bad for this infant that she’s in perfect range for a witness-disposing bite to the skull.
69. Banana Jr. 6000
August 13th, 2025 at 7:11 am Reply
MEAN GIRLS: “Uh-oh, there’s a weirdo over there! We’d better move away! It might be contagious!”
MARY: “Pay them no mind.”
OLIVE: “Oh, I wasn’t. They weren’t talking about me.”
Special Scrotal Awards to the Best No. 69 and Beyond of the Week
69. TheDiva
August 14th, 2025 at 7:01 am Reply
FC: Yes, Dolly, that’s why it’s called a “suspension bridge.” The faith-based charter school your parents enrolled you in doesn’t put much focus on girls in STEM, does it?
GG: I’m starting to think the Gearhead Gertie team don’t know all that much about auto racing. Even if you limit the field to NASCAR, there’s more movies out there on the subject than Days of Thunder–from the Burt Reynolds/Hal Needham collaboration Stroker Ace to tons of documentaries to friggin’ Cars, which not only has racing great Richard Petty voicing a secondary character but draws on his crash in the 1976 Daytona 500 for a significant plot point. This would certainly explain why they never seem to come up with a “punchline” beyond “Wow, that old lady sure loves to watch cars go fast!”
MW: Foregoing her usual deft and subtle plotting, Karen Moy literally waves a flag to indicate an important plot point.
The scroll is exhausting.
Swerve around Barbie’s cooter….Turn right at Forth’s willy-wang….Crisco party ahead
GPS for swingers
DT: The List of Names
General Trelane – Johnny Tremaine? Need money for a silver smith?
Emmett Brown – needed funding for his flux capacitor? What happened to that yellow cake uranium money?
Danny Boyd – would be crooner and song writer, hoping to make it big as an Irish tenor?.
LaKoyle Labs – Sherlock Fox and Max clearly sees this is the only business. Why not Tess the angry redhead?
Sam Malone: needed money for a new bar?
Vincent Gogh: struggling artist – needed cash for a otoplasty.
JP: Aksel has wandered back to his job, gotten fired, picked by the Norwegian police, spilled the beans that there is a CIA safe house in the area, and so there are now Norwegian security people surrounding the embassy place. Nice going Red!
MW: premonitions of her own death? Can MW save her again?!
RMMD: does Cody have Spud’s ears?
@Amelie Wikström: Who among hasn’t done something similar? Well, me for starters and probably everyone else here…
@Sequitur: I don’t read FC on the daily, so I figured that they were in Philly, BIL’s old stomping grounds. The “Bush” sign threw me off, and I had to search it out: I forgot San Francisco had a Chinatown.
GT: I had an interview yesterday for a new teaching job I desperately want, and even I wasn’t this much of a kiss-ass.
RMMD: I’m old enough to remember when this strip was about a doctor doing doctor things. They should change the name of the strip to “Truck Tyler and Pals.”
MW: At least they’re not going on and on about being soul mates? Anyway, wake me up when Olive uses her magic powers to wreak revenge on her enemies (which, knowing teenagers as I do, is way more likely than this “I’ll save my bullies” bullshit).
A&J: I kind of didn’t get this one. Any explanation?
@Treetown, DT: General Trelane, also known as the Squire of Gothos, who, due to the literary talents of the late Peter David (RIP), was inferred to be part of the Q Continuum in the Star Trek Universe.
So it would be interesting to see Dick face off against the Q.
(Side note: there have been so many actors in Trek who have appeared on Cheers, there is speculation that the bar is a holodeck simulation.)
Herb and Jamaal: Rev. Croom has a sudden change of heart between panels three and four as he realizes he might be in that “bunch of old files.”
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX:
Thank you, Scratchy, and props to all the mentionees!
FLASH! AAAAAAAAA!!! “Whew! Glad I have a quasi-girlfriend. Even back in the day, I wouldn’t have slept with a rich cosplaying cheerleader who needed a shower or bad breath!”
@I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV: (Rev. Croom may also want to remember that the discourse around “the truth shall set you free” ends with Jesus’ debate partners grabbing for stones to pelt him with.)
Flash Gordon: Yup, that’s definitely Maggie from Love and Rockets, behaviors and all
Breaking Cat News: You know, zombie bunnies are one thing. Rabbits with tentacles are quite another (even I am afraid to look at the Rule 34 violations this brings up in the images search on Duck Duck Go).
MW: Curly McFreckles raises her hideously deformed claw-hand in distress.
Mary Wormtounge: Is anyone ever gradually startled with realization? Since the lifeguard is busy putting out red flags Olive snaps into action! Her tummy brain notifies General Franco to send the Condor Legion.
MW: OK so I was wrong yesterday, Olive isn’t going to drown the bully or bullies, she’s going to save them in an equally insane plotline — Olive learned to swim LAST SUMMER but now is completely equipped to swim into ocean water with a bad undertow?? Unless this is how we get Mary her kudos and she AGAIN saves Olive from drowning, although now that I’ve typed that out, that’s no less insane…
Thanks, Scratchy!
Nice picture of Dick Tracy beside the flag.
MW: Rip currents are serious. I hope Mary will educate on swimming parallel to the shoreline until free of the current, but since she didn’t know about warning flags, I doubt it. Maybe all three will be carried out to be picked up by a passing cruiseliner.
Crankshaft makes no sense.
Phantom: Why is she wearing her uniform? Shouldn’t she be traveling under cover?
@Stacker: Dr. Jeff will pick them up shortly.
No doubt that GPS just starts issuing dire warnings if the driver accidentally finds themselves heading towards the city. “Homeless people! Dirty public transportation! Youths popping wheelies on ATVs!”
Thanks, Scratchy!
Meanwhile Blondie has finally realized technology has made the “oops – didn’t realize we needed something until after the one shopping has left” joke obsolete. Here’s a tip: merely pointing out you could call her cell phone doesn’t make it funny again.
In Disgaea, one character was an over-the-top space hero parody “CAPTAIN GORDON! DEFENDER OF EARTH!!”
It wasn’t until yesterday that I realized that he was a parody of Flash Gordon. (I mean obviously)
MW: Looks like Darwinism is at work. Little Orphan Knockoff’s constant side eye wasn’t because she didn’t agree with Spicy Latina and Hatchetface Blonde. She was waiting for the right moment to use Nature’s Toilet to flush herself permanently due to (insert teenage problem here).
And attention seeking Olive, who constantly brags about how she’s such an outcast because she’s so special, can’t stand not being the center of attention so she’s got to make a spectacle of herself.
Then the OG narcissist Mary Worth will get all the attention by weeping and crying to the cameras about how she tried so hard to save those girls. And casually extort the Taylors to pay her first class ticket back to Santa Royale.
Pajama Diaries – I am reminded of the punchline of an old joke: “Help me find my keys and I’ll drive us out of here.”
The call of the gulls, the crashing of the waves, and Olive’s mind drifted, away from the warm sand and Mary and the bullies and down, down past the seafoam and weeds, down past the sand and the mud, down past the continental shelf, down past the abyssal plains, down into the very hadal cracks in the skin of the world, where the dark and the pressure would not bother her, and there she saw faint glimmers of a city, the one that had haunted her dreams, deep Y’ha-nthlei, and for the first time in her young life she knew the comfort of seeing home after a long journey. She stood, her neck rippling with newfound gills, and stretched her hands toward the sun a final time, looking at that hated light filtered through the webbing between her fingers. And Olive ran, her gait shifting toward a hobbling hopping grotesqueness until she hit the water, and her true grace could be seen. Down she dove into the cold and dark, heeding a call she’d been ignoring too long.
Back on the land, Mary began to pack their things. Another young one brought to her proper destiny in the service of old things. Her trip had been worth the time.
@Stacker: The way she asked about the red flag, it was like she was thinking about one of the 83 different French revolutions from the early 1800s…
Flash Gordon: Edda is not a very common name at all, I had thought for a brief terrifying minute that this was some weird crossover with 9 Chickweeed Lane.
MW: It shouldn’t be said because it’s so obvious but if someone is drowning in a situation like this, do NOT go into the water. Thankfully Karen Moy is not a role model but rather an imitator so no sane person would ever follow her example.
If you do, well, maybe people will think your mother was missing a chromosome.
MW The only way Olive running off instead of getting the lifeguard’s attention makes sense is if she’s precognitively seeing the drowning before the girl is actually in any trouble. But we are talking about a teen here, it’s not like they’re known for always acting reasonably – so Moy has stumbled onto an “even broken clocks are right twice a day” event.
@Needless Exposition: Yeah, typically non-tragic results of bystanders intervening are when a boogie boarder or surfer rushes out with a nice floating item to get the victim to grab. Drowning victim flailing can easily get the rescuer killed as well.
@The Rambling Otter: This is the Prose Edda, not the Porn Edda. Not sure where the Poetic Edda is.
MW- someone drowning in the sea that is going to be saved by Olive/Mary. I was wondering how they were going to get Wilbur into the story.
@CanuckDownSouth: In lifeguard training, we were taught various ways to break holds, including the simple resort of just sinking. The drowning victim will tend to let go. They also told us that German lifeguards were trained to swim behind the victim, stun them with a blow to the back of the head, and them pull them it.
Sadly, all my rescues were in five feet of water or less, so I could stand the whole time. Never got to try the German method.
MW: The emissary visits Olive in a vision and tells her the bullies, including the drowning girl, are a corporeal matter and to leave them be. Her fate is to battle the last of the Pah-Raiths, AKA, Mary.
@Voshkod: And, as a further side note, open water rescues are the worse, even in training. Swim ten feet, dive, swim along the bottom back to where you started, wondering if that thing you just grabbed was a tree branch or a human hand, surface with it (tree branch), swim twenty feet, dive, swim back ten, rinse, repeat.