Measured criticism for Tuesday
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Beetle Bailey, 9/2/25
Now, I’m not a big shot syndicated newspaper comics artist, but I think that if you have a joke where a general tells a subordinate officer that his uniform cravat (?) isn’t regulation, and then the officer says “And that is?” because the general is wearing a ludicrous golf outfit, the general’s outfit should be a reveal in the second panel. The element of surprise seems key to making it a “joke,” in my opinion, and you’re probably saying, “But Josh, the comics are a visual medium, how are you going to have the general’s dialogue without showing him,” and sorry, that’s not my problem! You could’ve bailed on this joke at any time once you realized this! But you persevered, and here I am criticizing it on my blog, the Comics Curmudgeon. That’s just the way of the world, I guess.
Hi and Lois, 9/2/25
Speaking of surprises, I think if your garbageman tells you that he and his partner attended an awards banquet for some kind of sanitation worker professional association, and you ask how it went, and he tells you that his partner won an award, you shouldn’t look so surprised about it. This is, to be clear, a criticism of Hi, not of the writing of the strip. I’ve already accepted and embraced the fact that Hi and Lois has rejected punchlines for the most part, so I’m fine with that aspect.
B.C., 9/2/25
Ha ha, remember pop-up ads? Remember when they were an example of a new, high-tech annoyance in the world, but now here they are, being joked about as something in the past, in a comic strip where the characters are, literally, ancient cave-dwelling hominids? Does it make you feel like an ancient cave-dwelling hominid? Discuss.
154 replies to “Measured criticism for Tuesday”
I like how in panel one Hi is on board with the concept of an awards ceremony for garbagemen. Makes sense, he says! You work hard! How’d it go? It’s only in panel two, when he finds out Fitch won, that he looks shocked and confused. “That guy? Fitch? The recipient of a prestigious Garby?“
I dream of a world where not only do the garbage men win awards, but also that they wish to discuss it with me, like I’m anything to them beyond a trash-gouting annoyance, and they’re anything to me beyond, well, the garbage men. Also, one of them looks like he was heaved forward via wormhole from a cartoon produced in 1938. I’m pretty sure Joan Baez wrote at LEAST one song about this.
Fact check: Pop-up ads were invented some time around 1998. I can find B.C. comics posted to Usenet as early as 1993. So no, pop-up ads were never the most annoying thing online.
MW: Ed, as head of the household, gets to have the first use of The Fork, stabbing into the brown slab of liver-like meat on his plate while the others wait patiently for their turn to use the singular utensil.
I’m kinda with Halftrack here. Military uniform codes aside, a tacky golf outfit makes you look like an asshole until you get on the course, then you’re just “in the spirit of things.” A cravat makes you look like an asshole until you take off the cravat. And kill everyone who remembers what you looked like with it on.
B. Bailey: The General reminds the lieutenant that in Camp Swampy a John Lennon length mustache must be worn with a Nehru jacket.
BB I assumed thst the General was referring to Flap’s mustache, but after seeing how it jumps above his nose in the second panel I’m guessing that’s some kind of snake, or maybe a giant leech? Weird no no-one seems to acknowledge it.
H&L So I guess the joke is that these sanitation workers are being surveilled the entire time their on the clock, and the company likes to remind them of this fact by handing out cutesy awards. Neat!
B.C. Oh, duh, this strip is post-apocalyptic! I feel foolish.
RMMD: Jonah is going to need “special,” genetically unique blood, that’s found in one out of a million people. Hmm, I wonder who has it?
Beetle Bailey: I guess it’s not technically part of the uniform, but if you’re going to criticize an Army officer for not looking “regulation,” you might include the bizarre mustache that travels up above his nose when he talks.
Hi and Lois: Let’s be honest, Fitch is far too thin and frail-looking to be handling the enormous black trash bags that contain the heavy detritus of the Flagstons’ wasteful suburban lives. (I guess constantly throwing things out is how they keep their house looking so empty all the time — speaking of which, has anyone seen Trixie today?) Anyway, the garbage company probably keeps him on as a sort of mascot, so people think of trash collectors as fun hillbilly types rather than the sort of family organization highlighted by “The Sopranos.”
Pluggers: You’re a plugger if your local electric utility has convinced you that summer brownouts are just a temporary glitch in your neighborhood power box, and can be fixed by getting the right guy to climb up the pole.
Confusion !
– LUANN: Is that 212 as in the area code, two 12-year-olds, or 21 two-year-olds? Or is this just a strip about the need to check out all online “facts”?
– FBoFW: in Canada, are college and university two desperate things? Here in the US I think that the education is the same at undergrad, and that a university is just an amalgamation of colleges. Like a store in a mall is no better than a standalone store.
ZITS: make the best of it, Jeremy. Sarah will be impressed by your new dance moves.
FG: Strongest champions fight to the death. Is this how you he Empress gets rid of opposition?
PHANTOM: “Enemy picks off the last one, so I’ll lead” says the brave officer.
H and L:
“Fitch here got the award because his performance was ‘offal.‘ ”
Beetle Bailey: The way to play this would’ve been to show Halftrack seemingly in uniform in panel 1, and then have panel 2 reveal that he’s completely naked from the waist down.
This, this is classic mid-late period B.C.! There’s a rock with words on it! The words mean “Blatant pretext for an incredibly low-effort joke!” Then there’s an incredibly low-effort joke! The panel is filled out with a stock drawing of a disappointed caveman and… just a lot of white space! Get rid of Satan’s Color Gradient at the bottom of panel two and you’re cooking.
@Activist: FBoFW: They both mean undergrad, but I think you only use “college” for community college or a subset of a university (and then you’d probably still say you went to uni even if you had classes at a college in it). They actually are different in Quebec with its K-11 + junior college (Cegep) system, but this is supposed to be Ontario. So it makes sense to think of going to “uni” as being more rigorous than “college”
Beetle Bailey:
“After my round of golf, Lieutenant Flap, I’m off to the hospital to spearhead a volunteer coalition of thought leaders on diagnosing and remedying common communicable infections there!”
“Why would you choose to participate in that initiative, General?”
“I’ve always wanted to be the head of the ‘Joint Chiefs of ‘Staph‘ !”
BB: Lt. Flap could be shown at Miss Buxley’s desk in the first panel, with a word balloon indicating the General’s voice coming from inside his office and…God, I can’t believe I’m giving advice to “Beetle Bailey!”
BC: Remember when those annoying ad cards used to fall out of magazines when you tried to read them? The editor said pop-up ads (whatever those are?) would be more relatable to the readers.
B,C.:
Since the troglodytic denizens of this strip lived more than 2025 years ago, they don’t know that the more inclusive name that they should give to their comic strip is “B.C.E.”
Hi and Lois:
Please don’t you ask me
what I’m doing in a strip without jokes
Because if you don’t know what a Garby is
What you know is
TRASH
[C’mon pick it up]
@Bob Tice: Or B.P.E., Before Present Era
@I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV:
Andy Capp:
Please don’t ask me
What I’m doing a strip that’s got blokes
Because if you know just what “bangers” are
What you know is
MASH
Beetle Bailey: I feel like we’re on all missing the main joke here, which is the same as it is has been since 1970: there’s a Black guy, in the Army! He’s a Lieutenant! He has a mind of his own, he talks back! Well, I’ll be double-dipped.
@Bob Tice: Man, that Todd Rungren’s sure good at coming up with new lyrics, ain’t he?
Hi and Lois: In the world I live in, the garbage collectors wouldn’t even know what that gold thing on the award is. But I’m glad Fitch won it: wearing a hat that says “TRASH,” shows commitment to the craft, particularly with the backwards “S” to announce his illiteracy. And, speaking of commitment to the craft, that fly coming off of the tin can at the top of the truck: chef’s kiss!
@Activist: @CanuckDownSouth: Most Canadian colleges only offer diploma programs, not undergraduate degrees, but the good ones have associated universities where you can transfer course credits to upgrade to a degree. So kinda like a US community college as I understand it.
The quebec CEGEP system is a weird outlier, like most things in the province ;)
MW: I hope that everyone had a great (American) holiday weekend, I celebrated mine by not reading this godforsaken comic, and I’m feeling rested and healthy because of it!
Today’s strip may look pretty boring in the scheme of things but given the current attacks on museums I really appreciate anything complimentary towards them as they are a vital aspect of our understanding of real, accurate history.
Yeesh. I came out of the holiday too complimentary. Gross.
You guys! Hi just thinks Fitch is at least a co-lead!
That cave man looks non plussed in the second panel. He expected the definition of “pop-up ad” to be something more than a shitty lame joke. Given centuries of evolution, decades of reading B.C., and the set-up –dictionary on a rock– readers get about what they expected.
Also Abercrombie and Fitch own the business so this is some trade association thing.
…in other news, how has Hi and Lois Inc. avoided getting sued over this?
BB: I’ve always adhered to Mark Twain’s “good walk spoiled” philosophy so I wouldn’t know, but are “tacky golf outfits” still a thing? Even if they are, I’m thinking Halftrack’s “colorblind Scottish gamekeeper” look went out with the doctor’s head mirror.
Beetle Bailey – This could have been Lt. Fuzz in the first panel critiquing Lt. Flap, only to pull out and show General Halftrack heading out of his office in his golf gear.
Hi and Lois – Hi isn’t shocked at the idea of the Garby Awards. But like the Oscars, many awards are done based on politics and not quality. Sure, Fitch may have deserved to win in the past, but this year it should have gone to the crew that handled a gender reveal gone wrong at the local mall, not as a “make up” for Fitch being snubbed at least four times before.
B.C. – There is a fan theory that Disney’s Aladdin that suggests it takes place 10,000 years in the future after a societal collapse, hence why Genie can make pop culture references from c. 1992 when he was last out of the lamp.
There could be a similar fan theory about B.C., if there were fans of the comic.
@LTJpezcore1: Labor day is in Canada too.
@The Rambling Otter: Yeah but it’s like “Labour” or some shit like that so it doesn’t count
@pugfuggly: Normally, though, at least in Ontario, you wouldn’t transfer community college credits to a university, since their diploma in a specific career related school is all you want.
An awards banquet sounds fun up until you have to sit through the third “Maybe I should ‘refuse’ this honour” heteronym pun.
***
I remember the internet before pop-up ads, and people were on it then. You can’t tell me anything is ever more annoying than people online. I’ve had replies to jokes on social media.
Man, today’s Beetle Bailey takes a deep dive into race relations in the military. During the 60s and 70s, black soldiers and officers were always told something wasn’t regulation – usually their haircut or their facial hair. “No Afros, no matter how short! No beard, even if shaving causes skin irritation.” To have a pompous white general demean one of the most competent lieutenants in Camp Swampy – who just happens to be black! – means Beetle Bailey has finally reached the Vietnam War, and we can look forward to most of these idiots bleeding out in a rice paddy.
Hi’s day goes from bad to worse when he hears Thirsty has been nominated for a prestigious Foofram (Foofy) award.
Pop-up ads used to be the most annoying thing online, before our machine overlords rose up, forcing us to retreat into this blasted wasteland to live like frightened animals. Simpler times.
Wiley’s dictionary, of course. Wiley is a power house in scientific publishing and whether you think “BC” takes place before recorded history or after the apocalypse, it is a reminder that the production of knowledge is never separated from material interests and the profit motives and… [being passed a note] I am being informed that the strip “BC” has a recurring character named Wiley, never mind
To prevent the unionisation of garbage collectors, business has set up a system of prizes to be distributed among workers, to encourage them to perform their duties beyond what their salary commands them, put them in competition against the others and hide the reality of exploitation behind cheap glamour. Brothers, resist the reactionary propaganda of Parker-Browne! You’re garbage men, but you do not have to be treated like garbage!
BC: Shouldn’t the punchline say that pop-up ads used to be the most annoying thing online, before [something else]? I don’t know what the something else is that the cartoonist thinks is the new most annoying thing online, but probably it should be specified.
It’s not like pop-up ads are no longer considered annoying, but they have become less common and other annoyances have become more prominent.
Ahahah, it’s funny because twenty years ago the internet was at worst a mild annoyance and not an addictive system encouraging the end of in-person sociality and the dismantlement of democracy!
MW: Mary is glad she carries Beano in her purse after their meal of …pumpernickel bread.
Career advice for the Lieutenant: Mouthing off to a General, even if he deserves it, is a good way to get yourself transferred to a hellish post at which you will spend the rest of eternity frozen in your current rank and job, surrounded by other similarly damned souls. Oh, wait.
FC: The hardest part about flossin’ is finding a pubic hair long enough.
MW: “Yes, Daddy, the Met was great but let’s go back to talking about how special and unique I am…”
DT: Clearly a dilemma for Tess. She has enough charge for one more zap zap but will she have enough to take on DT and his roscoe? No time to risk another recharge.
MW: Is this now a day or two after the swimming occurence?
JP: So Randy and April vanishes for 2 months. What about the dim and dimmer sisters? Are they still in Norway? Have they been secretly looking for April?
GT: So, the football season has started but Gil is doing some sort of fund raising for the girl’s basketball team?
RMMD: Ok – at point, RMMD will appear.
Today’s B.C. sparked a memory of a time when the characters were distinct and Johnny Hart hadn’t injected his hard-core Christianity into the proceedings and it was ACTUALLY PRETTY DARN FUNNY. This is because (a) Peter was the usual reader of Wiley’s Dictionary, so this is a callback to a time when the strip featured character-based humor, and (b) Wiley used to be one of those characters, so now I’m wondering whatever happened to him.
C’shaft: Well, they don’t mean “you can’t” in the sense of being physically unable to, but in the sense of that it’s a very bad idea. Kind of like “you can’t just make a comic strip of your self-indulgent author avatar blathering pointless anecdotes of his career to a guy from the local shopper for days, nay weeks on end, for an interview that could have easily been completed in two hours tops, and expect the results to be funny or interesting in any way.”
Dustin: You should get one for Dustdad, though. Temptation bundling is a great motivator for exercise, and he’d gladly get his fat ass off the couch if it meant that he could stare into a mirror for an hour or more, contemplating the inherent superiority granted to him, the unremarkable middle-aged white male, like a fat balding Narcissus.
GT: *Googles* Huh, I didn’t know it but “popovers” is an alternate name for fry bread. Honestly, I think Leo’s got a great idea–fry bread is freakin’ awesome. Find a Hispanic kid whose relatives sell tamales out of the back of their car, and the two of them should have Milford’s funding problems solved in a week.
HotC: TIL Dana is Korean. Which means it’s only a matter of time before she and Heart are doing their rendition of “Golden” for the annual talent show.
JP: Charlotte knows that her parents are never coming back, but she knows bringing the subject up is an easy way to manipulate her grandparents. She’s had them take her out for ice cream every day for a month straight.
MW: I don’t believe Olive remembers what she saw at the museum; she was too wrapped up in the contemplation of her own specialness. Sounds more like she did a quick scan of the brochure map to fake her way though conversation with her parents.
RMMD: So if you’d just listened and left your brother in peace the way he wanted, this wouldn’t have happened.
B. Bailey: My grandmother told me that in the small village she grew up in there was an ex-sea captain who used to walk around nude because he suffered from secondary syphilis. The people tolerated him walking through their gardens and such buck naked because he didn’t know better. Just saying that if the General walks around the Camp dressed only in a ridiculous golf outfit, the Lieutenant should be more grateful for small favors.
DtM: Dennis contemplates the logistics of Mormonism.
BB: There are no regulations governing golf wear. Sure, yeah, perhaps the general shouldn’t be golfing during a work day, but at least his incompetence can’t do as much harm on the links.
HnL: I don’t even want to think what the award banquet consisted of.
BC: Twenty years from now we’ll get jokes about how the ads are AI-assisted for perfect targeting and kill your CPU to generate.
BB – I think a cravat is a perfectly fine uniform accessory….
H&L – They wanted to give me an award, but I had to refuse….
BC – Once considered the most annoying, until Johnny Hart popped up from the grave….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
Pluggers: My hero is a lineman who, without spiked boots, manages to climb up to the transformer on a utility pole that’s missing most of the pole steps.
RMMD: She is so upset about Cody’s heart attack she can’t bear to look Jonah in the eye.
MW: Please keep talking about The Met. It increases your chances of not going to The Cloisters ot the Society of Illustrator.
GT: A better way to raise funds than selling $5 bars of “coco”? Why, there can’t be.
Hi And Lois: Hi is so shocked by this information that he spontaneously teleports to the opposite side of Thirsty.
MW- ” What did you see at the museum Olive?” “I saw Greek statues, European paintings, a granite Dick, American stained glass, Asian ceramics, some marble butt cheeks, and Mary naked!”
@I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV:Yeah, but he’s a Runt.
RMMD: Lorna’s nonplussed husband reminds her that she wished for a better brother.
“That monkey’s paw really is a double-edged sword, heh, heh.”
@treetown JP: They’re still in that stupid cafe trying to get their #$%)&@ coffee.
@TheDiva JP: Not that I put it past the raspberry-haired brat to do that, but she knows her parents will come back, the next time Ces decides that he’s finally figured out how to write a cloak-and-dagger story that’s actually entertaining and coherent.*
*It won’t be entertaining or coherent.
@TheDiva:
On Crankshaft : I’m thinking it went a little like this :
People in the faculty lounge : So, what’s it like being a big-shot newspaper cartoonist?
Bat
iukTON THOMAS : Oh, basically, immediately after work, I speed over to the fast food drive through. Then, I immediately inhale the entire meal while on the drive home, so I can have the entire evening and night working on the next day’s comic.People in the faculty lounge : …Y-you can’t live like that, BATTON…
And him interpreting it as “Just because you’re a grown up and can afford to, you can’t eat ice cream and candy at every meal while going to sleep in a racecar bed” instead of “Wow, that just killed all my illusions of how that kind of minor celebrity has any kind of glamour”.
“Fun fact, sir: the Garby is actually a fully functional stielhandgranate plated with 24 karat gold! Anyway, I hope you’ll remember to tip your garbage men this year!”
Don Abundio, translated:
“Sheesh! They celebrate Armistice Day earlier every year!”
“Everywhere I look, I see reminders of The Great War”
“It’s a sign of respect…”
“Now go change your hat so people will stop staring at us”
A popup ad in the BC universe? Someone tosses a rock into your cave bearing the message “Thag’s Mastodon Burgers – 30% Off.”
Throwing my hat into the BB ring: show Fuzz in the first panel at a 3/4 view, with Halftrack’s arm (sleeve obscured) gesturing to the cravat.
@Activist: #10
“are college and university two desperate things?”
I bet you meant to write “separate,” but given the current reality of attacks against higher education institutions in *this* country, “desperate” is more on target!
@Anonymous:
Grrr…that was me, Daisy. Forgot to plug my name back in after I cleared my browsing history. Now who’s desperate??
BB:
Lt. Flap in an ascot!
Our man’s on a roll;
He thinks he’s enlisted
in the Jungle Patrol!
@TheDiva: I think Payne Stewart was the last pro golfer to dress in that garish old fashion. He died in 1999.
FC: I’d make fun of Billy, but melonheads have 84 teeth, so it is pretty difficult to keep track.
MW: “Did you know they have a Bum Boat at the museum? Wild, huh?”
Dustin: This is the moment where DustDad is supposed to say something caring, and oh, never mind…
MW-Olive, don’t you mean you “saw”?
BC-Nowadays websites are covered with nothing but ads that you can’t get rid.
Crankshaft: This level of biographical detail is fatuous, but also quite odd. Batiuk ate a hamburger every day, but had no food after 3:30. He sounds like a variant Gremlin.
What I’ve learned from this eons-long, self-masturbatory cartoonist interview in Crankshaft: Man Likes Hamburgers. There’s your title. And your lede. And your article, really.
Luann: Someone forgot to check if their font has the ‘/’ symbol loaded in. Also, I don’t want to see Bernice erupt into convulsive fits of laughter. It’s not Halloween yet!
CS: He’ll gladly pay Skip in Montoni’s for a hamburger today. Also, I think we’ve found our new HHS head.
9CL: Amos, if you’re sitting out there on the swings, English class must be over. Unless no one cares that you just wander away in the middle of class. Never mind, I think I’ve solved this one.
I’m disappointed B.C. didn’t show a rock tablet ad on a spring banging him in the face.
“Mustaches are permitted. If worn, males will keep mustaches neatly trimmed, tapered, and tidy. Mustaches will not present a chopped off or bushy appearance, and no portion of the mustache will cover the upper lip line, extend sideways beyond a vertical line drawn upward from the corners of the mouth” AR 670-1, Wear and Appearance of Army uniforms.
I think 2LT Flap would have gotten a few stern counseling sessions for that Fu Manchu looking facial hair by now.
Crankshaft: If this interview keeps going, Skip is going to make like Petey Otterloop and start gnawing off his other arm.
A few years back, I got a pop-up ad, it was a video of people screaming over something.
Except:
1- I was reading horror related stuff.
2- The ad was offscreen, causing me to scroll down to turn it off.
I never jumped so much in my life.
Beat Up Bailey: “Lt Flap, the ‘Cheetah’ look is out, The ‘peacock’ look is in. Read the bulletin board,Man! Its there for a reason!”
The Familliar Mucus: Flossing your cheeks is important when you’re a Melonhead.
@Ukulele Ike: Lt. Flap: “I quit! I’m joining The Jungle Patrol!”
BB: Most generals would go to the golf club on post, and change into their golf outfit there. Yes, most Army posts have golf courses. Of course, Camp Swampy…
DT: If Mr. Leda greets Tess LaKoyle at the door wearing the outfit Christopher Walken had on in the SNL skits about “The Continental” (complete with two glasses of champagne and smarmy pan-European accent), I will mail Costello a crisp ten-dollar bill.
Crank: “You CAN eat burgers and fries every night! As a matter of fact, I still do! — whoops, ‘scuse me, another coronary coming on, no big deal, back in a sec.”
GT: Popovers are kind of wussy, redolent of rusticators enjoying tea and peach ice cream on the Jordan Pond House lawn. Shouldn’t Lonesome Polecat here be proficient at a more stereotypical Native American foodstuff, like pemmican?
FG: Roman soldiers initiated the custom of shaved faces in the infantry, so an opponent in close combat couldn’t grab you by the beard and yank you off-balance. Flash and Bok clearly have the edge here. I can’t wait to see them dragging Ming’s “favored gladiator” around the playing field by his ponytail.
@Hibbleton: Re: MW: Hey, Mary specifically requested that dinner. You know how hard it is to find decent pumpernickel in Southern California?
Ironically, the worst pop up ad today is Comics Kingdom’s determination to play a Popeye cartoon on top of the comic you want to read.
Wasn’t B.C. once revealed to be a post-apocalyptic hellscape? That doesn’t make the joke any less terrible, but it does give options for a longer dark Sunday version where they muse over theories on what this could possibly be describing, but that’s far too intellectual of a concept for anyone involved in this comic.
HtH: I am reminded of the Western (can’t remember which one) where a cowboy is shot in a saloon fight. The doctor is called and he kneels down to examine the guy. “Quick, bring me some whiskey,” he says. Whiskey is brought; the doc takes a gulp, and says, “He’s dead, alright.” (The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance.)
@CanuckDownSouth:
Thanks, Canuck, figured a Canadian mudge would know. So up nOrth, h.s. goes only to Grade 11– new to me!
@Anonymous:
#65. I meant to write “disperate” but auto incorrect is awake. It Just fixed it again. Try writing the word with an “i”.
@White Rabbit: I once lived on a base that was – generously – one or two square miles large. Had a nine-hole course with the chopper landing field in the middle. I once played out a shot from under a Huey.
BB: If you have a beef with the way the joke was telegraphed in panel 1, look more closely at panel 2 and note that Lt. Fuzz’s mustache has jumped up his face and is growing out of … his eye? the side of his nose? What is happening in today’s military??
@Ukulele Ike:
@Hibbleton: Re: MW: Hey, Mary specifically requested that dinner. You know how hard it is to find decent pumpernickel in Southern California?
Good point. I have the same problem in No. Florida.
Mary’s Worst: “hat kind of art did you see at the Met, Olive?” “Old mummified Egyptians” “Olive! Thats no way to talk about Mary!At least not to her fractured, leathery face! Do it like a Frazzhole, behind her back.”
@Activist: Not quite!
*Quebec* has a K-11 system with 2-year “Cegep” junior college before you’re done public school (supposedly streamed by type of program and allows a student to continue studies at the 2nd year university level)
*Ontario* has K-12 – but it used to be K-13! One of my brothers was in high school with the “both grade 12 AND grade 13 are going to graduate together” cohort when they switched to K-12
Everybody else has K-12
What a Frazzhole!: “Young annoying kid loves his knees.I’m Kent Brock man!”
Come on BC, don’t leave us hanging. Some strips may give up on punchlines but there’s so many easy possibilities here. Are pop-up ads are no longer thought to be the most annoying thing online because:
a) Elon Musk lives there?
b) You installed an ad blocker and promptly forgot how annoying ads are?
c) You don’t even notice them anymore?
d) They are everywhere, not just online?
e) You escaped to a different reality without advertising?
f) Someone discovered a more annoying way to advertise stuff?
@Ettorre: Wiley’s dictionary, of course. Wiley is a power house in scientific publishing
________________________________
He’s the one legged, bad tempered guy, isn’t he? I still think he would have rigged a stone tablet ad to pop out on a spring at the reader!
@White Rabbit: Isn’t that the one where manly John Wayne is pissed off that sissy James Stewart tries to teach his girl (Vera Miles) how to read?
Christ, if there’s one thing I hate more than a western it’s a John Ford western. And worst of all is a John Ford western with John Wayne in it.
@Dennis Jimenez: BB – I think a cravat is a perfectly fine uniform accessory….
_______________________________
CNR wore one when he was sent to Vietnam.
BB: The only way I can think of to make this joke work is to zoom out panel 1 and nix panel 2. And also make the general’s outfit completely bonkers, like a clown outfit or something, but I guess that’s getting into The Far Side territory. Hell, just nix both panels and replace it with The Far Side, that would make Beetle Bailey funnier.
H&L: I sort of like the “Garby” pun. One who doesn’t care for the Gabby Awards could call them the Garbyge Awards.
BC: And now it’s…trolls? Social media? Generative AI? Self-important comics bloggers and their commentators who just don’t get your art?
@Ukulele Ike: I love that movie. It’s the most antiMAGA movie ever made. Eastern intellectual defeats rugged individualist. (and Stewart does punch Wayne in the mouth at one point).
@Hibbleton:
But Wayne actually kills Valance. Stewart gets beat up and washes a lot of dishes. Being a good movie, there was complexity here.
@GarrisonSkunk:
Right?! Has any kid, anywhere, ever, cared about looking at their knees? This kid’s parents feeding him acid, or what?
The colorists missed the obvious clue that Lieutenant Flap’s cravat should be cavalry gold. Similarly, General Halftrack has missed the clue that Flap is almost certainly about to go rogue with a squadron of air cav, raining down hell on the base’s golf course and driving off all other players until he can stand in the fairway, shirtless and wearing a Stetson and aviator sunglasses as he sneers: “Halftrack don’t putt!”
GT: “Don’t even joke about it.” “So, selling parodies of Stephen King novels is off the table?”
@Hibbleton: I saw it about 20 years ago, but I just read the Wikipedia article. Seems that Ford made everyone’s life hell during the filming: he took special joy in mocking Wayne for skipping out on doing any fighting in WWII (both Ford and Stewart served with distinction). “Hey, Johnnie, how rich did you get while Jim was risking his life?”
@CanuckDownSouth:
*Ontario* has K-12 – but it used to be K-13! One of my brothers was in high school with the “both grade 12 AND grade 13 are going to graduate together” cohort when they switched to K-12
This was a plot point in that old webcomic Avalon, wasn’t it? Like, the final year was going to (but never did, because the artist gave up on the strip) involved the cast graduating, and they’d share their graduation party the grade 12 kids?
That strip was abandoned nearly 20 years ago and it still stuck with me… (probably because a couple of years ago I found it again and reread it)@Ukulele Ike: How about Paint Your Wagon? Clint Eastwood SINGS!
We’re just going to pretend that “Fitch” isn’t being portrayed by Snuffy Smith? OK.
@Peanut Gallery: I loved the Simpsons parody of that, personally.
@Ukulele Ike:
“Of arms and the man” is affected, and droll
“The body electric” won’t make a song whole
A rollicking ballad is what we extol
And that’s why we sing of The Jungle Patrol!
@White Rabbit: There was an old computer game “Law of the West” where you’re a sheriff, you interact with (or even kill just for the heck of it) the townspeople, or fight criminals in shootouts.
One thing about this game that always stuck with me, was when talking to the town Doctor, you can give him money for a drink.
Later on if you get shot.
Townspeople: Oh no the sheriff’s been shot! Someone get the Doctor!
Doctor: (stumbling around and talking incoherently)
Townspeople: Oh no1 The Doctor’s drunk! What will we do!? (this nets a game over)
@The Rambling Otter: Lee Marvin! “He’s dreamy.”
@A Grave Mind:
And Wayne dealing with his friend Pompey’s place in a white man’s world.
@Ukulele Ike: Christ, if there’s one thing I hate more than a western it’s a John Ford western. And worst of all is a John Ford western with John Wayne in it.
Did you ever see A Big Hand For the Little Lady? You might enjoy that (non-John Ford) one, but don’t read about it before watching! That would ruin the surprise.
Five Greatest Westerns (no particular order)
The Magnificent Seven
Liberty Valance (JF)
The Searchers (JF)
Shane
High Noon
@A Grave Mind: But Wayne actually kills Valance.
You gave away the twist at the end. It’s easy to underestimate Wayne’s acting in this movie. If you think he’s playing the same character he always does, when have you seen him as full of rage as he is in the last part of the movie?
@White Rabbit: Don’t forget Blazing Saddles.
@Anonymous: As a matter of fact I have a DVD of Blazing Saddles. I must watch it sometime.
Always assumed the characters in B.C. were Homo sapiens and not some other hominin but now you’ve got me wondering if they are some specific form of anatomically modern humans, or Denisovans or even Neandertals.
“Well, son, I may wearing a hideous suit I found in an attic, and sitting across from a nerd in a sweater vest, and staring at a lamp bought with S & H Green Stamps, and trying to figure out what the hell is in those frames, but it’s 2025. Do yourself a favor and never use the phrase ‘twice married’ unless you want people to think you’re living in 1951.”
@Hibbleton: It’s the most antiMAGA movie ever made.
You could say that Liberty was the White Knight of the Far Right. He beat up a newsman, tried to kill an intellectual and worked for rich ranchers against the government.
Good luck with your 45th first day of school, Hil.
Crock Spanish to English.
The Family Circus Spanish to English.
“Then why the fuck are we having Montoni’s pizza???”
Zits Spanish to English.
Beetle Bailey-“Listen do you want that shiny nickel I’ll be paying you to be my caddy or not?”
Beetle Bailey Spanish to English.
JP: Depending how much comic strip time Ces allows, when Randy’s and April’s kid grows up, she is going to burn down the CIA and whatever arms cartels are out there.
@Ukulele Ike: #96: How do you feel about non-western John Ford movies, like “How Green Was My Valley” or “The Quiet Man”?
Pluggers: Mr. McBeavey, you are real!
10 Triskellian quatloos to whoever gets the reference.
FG: Bok, be thankful it isn’t a Dragonman’s weiner Wolfang is sporting.
Hi might looked shocked because Fitch backed a 20-ton garbage truck right up onto his lawn, almost to his house.
BB: The least believable thing here is that the nonagenarian general is carrying his own clubs. Isn’t there anyone low-ranking enough to get stuck with caddy duty?
H&L: Really drawing attention to the fact that one trashman looks like he could do the same job in Gasoline Alley or Hootin’ Holler and the other not so much.
@Peanut Gallery: For that matter how about Guys and Dolls? “Frank Sinatra ACTS! Marlon Brando SINGS!”
@Guillermo el Chiclero: Never seen them due to John Wayne contamination. I DO like The Grapes of Wrath.
Didja know that when Steinbeck got the Literature Nobel in 1962 there was such an uproar amongst the intelligentsia that the poor guy never published another thing before he died? The Nobel committee thought the shortlist was so lousy that year that they tossed it to John in a compromise vote.
The other nominated writers were Robert Graves, Lawrence Durrell, Jean Anouilh, and Isak Dinesen. Certainly NOT on the exalted level of a Pearl Buck or a Bjornstjerne Bjornson!
@Guillermo el Chiclero: Wolfang would be bent over like an old lady if he tried to wear a Dragonman wiener as a necklace. Why else would Adrane be so besotted with Bok? His sparkling wit and mischievous banter?
@Ukulele Ike: Never seen them due to John Wayne contamination.
Valley is Wayne-free. Certified by the American Mothers Association For Morality in Movies.
Little-known fact: Wayne wasn’t in the Army because he had bone spurs. I’m going to add that to Wikipedia real soon now.
C-Shaft: You know how in Airplane! everyone to whom Ted tells his story sleeps or hangs themselves or whatever? If Skip were there they couldn’t do that running gag. He’d hang on every word.
DT: Tess has never let other people tell her what she can and can’t do, craziness most definitely included.
Dustin: All a Google search for “reflective trainers” turns up are running shoes with light-reflecting patches. Either Dustin has slipped into sci fi world or the creators have reached Tom Batiuk/Lynn Johnston levels of “nobody says that.”
JP: By this point Alan really should have standard responses for when Mommy is being stupid on the international stage and Daddy is having a pout-off with the government, but I guess the old dogs/new tricks thing has something to it.
Luann: “Please stop before I have convulsive fits of laughter” is Luann’s mission statement and to be fair it has a very good record of not causing convulsive fits of laughter.
MW: It’s impossible for me to read Olive’s recitation of the museum’s contents without hearing Lucky the Leprechaun list the marshmallows in Lucky Charms. She’s even wearing green.
Phantom: “The Phantom will blow your mind.” ~ Fake but pithy old jungle saying
RMMD: Cody doesn’t know just how hard Lorna will slap him so he’s giving his own neck some support, just in case.
6C: When Bianca stopped ignoring her email she found this joke forwarded to her, but the fact that she’s putting a joke in her strip at all feels earth-shattering.
@White Rabbit: Oh, is my face red. Valley starred Donald Crisp. LOVED him beating Lillian Gish to death in Broken Blossoms!
@Voshkod: : I once lived on a base that was – generously – one or two square miles large. Had a nine-hole course with the chopper landing field in the middle.
____________________
Cool! Just like in “M*A*S*H*”!
JP: I just read the Monday and Tuesday JP and what the everloving frack, how is it even LEGAL to just skip ahead like that??!! *skims both yesterthread and todaythread looking for CC outrage* Oh. No outrage. Huh. So that’s what the cool kids (don’t) do. Welp, fine. Time to go deal with dinner. I can be indifferent too!! Just wait and see!! *stalks away*
@Anonymous: #75: At least the Army is a little looser on the mustache regulations. The USMC only tolerates toothbrush mustaches.
@Ettorre:
#40. Hear! Hear!
@treetown: MW: Is this now a day or two after the swimming occurence?
Two. In the Worthiverse, you have to wait two days after swimming before eating.
@A Grave Mind:
. I’m pretty sure Joan Baez wrote at LEAST one song about this.
“(Oh Lord Won’t You Buy Me A) Mercedes Benz Garbage Truck”
@139 Poteet:
I swear, Poteet, one of these days we’re gonna hear about you getting a heart attack just like Jonah in Rex Morgan M.D.
@Artist formerly known as Ben: “Olive’s after me Lucky Salmon Square Marshmallows!”,Mary exclaims!
But… But we still HAVE pop up ads. They’re just Javascript lightboxes now, and ad breaks in free to play mobile games. Those are the same concept as popups. They’ve just found new ways to make them unavoidable, unskippable, and most insidiously of all, normalized.
@GarrisonSkunk:
“(Oh Lord Won’t You Buy Me A) Mercedes Benz Garbage Truck”
As sung by Janis Joplin?
@Caphi: That was my first thought, too. The best are the ones where a video plays and you mute it, and then it unmutes itself one second later so the only way you don’t hear it is if you shut off the sound on your computer/phone.
@147 Hibbleton:
Yes, I’m sure that’s what he meant. It was written by Janis Joplin along with Bob Neuwirth and poet Michael McClure. As far as I know Joan Baez never recorded this song or had anything to do with writing this song.
Late Thread Cuisine: I get it; pizza and Mexican don’t go together. How about this?
@Baja Gaijin: For those days when you feel like pepperoni is *too* spicy.
@Poteet: My guess is that one of the Judge Parker writers heard the term “in media res” and decided it would be cool, but didn’t read the definition. Hence, we’re in media but not a res to be seen. I’ll further guess that in a few days (or months) they’ll start an extended flashback showing just how it ended up, uh, wherever it is.
@150 Baja Gaijin:
Well, here it is in all its glory. I notice they mention yesterday’s pizza at the tail of this woebegone saga.
In the middle. Is that The Incredible Hulk’s boogers?
BB / H&L: When you see the two strips, supposedly made by the same people, side-by-side, it’s clear which strip has actual effort put into it and which strip was cranked out as quickly as possible. Neither’s art is particularly GOOD mind you, but Beetle Bailey looks like outright garbage. The colorist is doing a LOT of heavy lifting here.