Saturday is for death
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Beetle Bailey, 9/6/25
Hmm, Sarge managed to knock himself unconscious after landing on his tailbone, presumably from some shockwave that went up his spine, and now he’s got X’s for eyes? He’s dead, dude. He’s super duper dead!
Marvin, 9/6/25
Hmm, a jellyfish that’s not in the water, and is all brown and stiff? Mr. Squishy (name now inaccurate) is also super duper dead, kid, I regret to inform you!
Rex Morgan, M.D., 9/6/25
Cody’s newly discovered rageoholic half brother is not super duper dead, but thanks to his recent massive heart attack, he’s not what you’d call super duper alive either. Anyway, what is super duper dead is probably Cody’s chance of forming a bond with this part of his newfound family. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news! I’m telling tough truths to everyone in the funnies today!
144 replies to “Saturday is for death”
Mary Worth Mashups: A few missing final panels as food for thought.
RMMD:
“Doctor, before we chat about my brother, though, has anyone ever told you that you look like a midlife John Cale?”
RMMD:
“Can I see the leafblower? — is it okay?”
I think the joke is supposed to be “Sarge is fat,” but the water was about an inch deep. Killer and Beetle committed a convoluted fragging.
Rex Morgan, MILF Diver – Unfortunately, Jonah will now feel indebted to Cory and want to be his friend. If they want to follow a lame Gomer Pyle plot (which was previously done on the Andy Griffith Show), they could have Jonah devote his life to serving Cory to the point that it’s a pain in the ass and Cory has to rig up something so that Jonah will save his life and then they’ll be even.
RMMD:
“I don’t think he’ll want to see me.”
“Precisely! — so go in there and finish the job!”
Marvin: That jellyfish is both dead and lucky that it no longer gets to be a Marvin character.
MW: Mary knew that it was a good idea to take Toby’s stash of quaaludes and put them in Ed and Evy’s food.
RMMD: It’s a shame that Cody’s not on Mary Worth because she would give him the tasteful advice of considering the possibility of suicide.
All week Cody’s brother-in-law has been standing around looking grave and all I can think is “Why are you wearing a short-sleeved turtleneck?”
Phantom:
“WHAM!!!’
“Unh…losing consciousness…apropos of which — and speaking of ‘Wham’ — wake me up before you go-go, okay?”
Marvin: “Kiddie Corral”? No wonder we can’t see who’s watching this — it isn’t other children, but aliens who are disgusted by seeing two different types of Earth creatures interact in this human zoo.
Beetle Bailey: Sarge doesn’t even look all that overweight with his shirt off — are we really supposed to believe he could empty an entire pond just by jumping into it? I’d say this was just a gag in which Beetle knew there was only half an inch of water over solid ground — but that would be a heinous (and court-martial-worthy) offense, and still wouldn’t explain the fish.
Hi and Lois: Thirsty’s only sober pleasure in life is a weekend morning playing golf — and it turns out he hates that too! Whelp, back to the booze.
BB: when I went through a law enforcement academy, many moons ago, one of my classmates who was similar in build to Sarge fell off a rope obstacle, landed similarly to how Sarge did here, and I think he broke his hip–at any rate, he wasn’t in my class anymore.
Anyway, Beetle and Killer are going to be in a lot of trouble when it’s discovered that they abandoned a badly injured Sarge to his fate.
MW: Olive and Mary plead their cause while the entire family changes seats in their nightly dinner game of Musical Chairs.
RMMD: “What is super duper dead is Cody’s chance of forming a band with this part of his newfound family”
That’s how I first read it which is also true, I guess.
Marvin:
So Marvin has brought a Cnidaria
Into his school’s show-and-tell area
It’s nothing but squish:
This gross, spineless fish
Will no doubt produce mass hysteria!
You are in no position to talk Luann.
JP Well folks, it’s official, avocado toast is so over — as both a culinary trend and a wasreful-expense signifier — that it’s made it to the comics page.
FG So the Tournament of Mongo is an all-out melee where you’re not out until you’re at least so badly injured that there’s about a 90% death rate… and we’re still doing it with Ming out so it’s not some Hunger Games forced sacrifice… is there a Mongo version of the Star Wars “the Empire had a point” memes?
**wasteful-expense
MW: California!!!
The Golden Gate bridge! Giants! 49ers! Skiing at Lake Tahoe! Venice Beach! Hollywood! Rodeo Drive! Disneyland! Yosemite! Sequoias! Burning Man! Red Rock! The Getty museum! Surfing at Big Sur! Napa Valley! Palm Springs! FUN!
@18 Stacker: Yeah, like Mary’s bringing Olive to any of those places. Olive will see the interiors of the Old Lady Underewear Store, the Bland Food Restaurants, and the hideaways for those sexy sexy nights.
@Stacker: And watch as they do nothing but hang around in Charterstone with the stench of mayonnaise, Ben-Gay, and death licking at Olive’s nostrils. Mary’s certainly not going to pay to entertain her “kindred spirit” outside of her salmon-scented home.
Marvin: Plus, a jellyfish could probably kill a kid that age, so it’s just as well it’s dead.
RMMD: “Can I see my bother?”
“Briefly. It might help for him to see a familiar face. If my theories are correct, peek-a-boo therapy just might cure him!”
Marvin: The boy’s dismay turns to glee as Mr Squishy starts walking across the floor on the tips of its tentacles towards the shit talking kids.
Gil Thorpe- Size 11 feet? Yeah, they call me Big Dogs, so move it on over…..
MW: One problem with subscribing to the NY Times daily but not the magazine is that I missed the newest trend of kids taking a gap year between 9th and 10th grades.
@Unca Bob: “My sweet Babu has size 11 feet?”
“I am not your sweet Babu!”
@Baja Gaijin: “Olive, this is my favorite restaurant, the Bum Boat! And here’s Dr. Jeff!”
“Hello Dr. Jeff! Have you ordered your surf and turf yet?”
“It’s uncanny!”
MW: Quite the dilemma Ed’s facing. Forbid his young daughter from flying across the country with a creepy old groomer, or have weeks of uninterrupted sexy time. Ah, Who’m I kiddin’. Ed’s choosing sexy time.
@matt w: He’s got an onion on his belt too!
Well, Mary Worth, thanks for immediately addressing the question of whether the teenager would be sleeping in your bed. Not that anyone asked. . . .
@Charterstoned: I was thinking of the tea party in Alice in Wonderland where they just randomly rearrange the seating.
I can’t remember if that was in the book (been ages since I read it) but I do recall that being in the Disney adaptation.
RMMD: Mr Lorna is totally stoned and just chillin’ in the background.
“Hey Doc!! You know what’s good for the heart? Beans!!! Hah, hah, hah“
@Handsome Harry Backstayge, Idol of a Million Other Women: Of course Mary has a spare bedroom, in case her relatives visit. Let’s see, according to wikipedia we last saw her son and grandson in… 1963. And her cousin in… 1970. Might want to air out the room and change the sheets.
RMMD: I’ve come to find Cody extremely slappable, so it irks the crap out of me that of course, Jonah will want to see him, so that he can feebly whisper, ” You…saved…my…life. My…brother.”
BB: Time for some Weekend at Sargey’s hijinks.
Marvin: It checks out that in this world, parents would give their children possibly lethal pets.
RMMD: Now Cody is going to have to prove his love further by donating his heart to Jonah.
@The Rambling Otter: The lack of visual continuity in this strip is often disturbing, sometimes on a subliminal level. But I love the absurd scenarios that spring to mind from seeing the disjointed images. Yesterday’s strip, with everyone’s hands under the table, reminded me of a family we knew growing up. The kids would surreptitiously hold hands under the table and then the last one would touch the dad as the kid at the other end would jam his fork into the electrical outlet.
FC: Watch out for werewolves!
MW: She’s going back to Cali. She’s going back to Cali. I don’t think so.
Dustin: Surprisingly, Kelley knows a thing or two about Axe Body Spray.
Luann: Is there supposed to be something inherently funny in the notion of a creator hating on their title character? I don’t get it.
CS: “That’s right. I didn’t even go out to mow the grass. The neighborhood kids thought my place was haunted.”
9CL: I’ve got to imagine durians are sweeter than this strip.
@Baja Gaijin: Nice, the look on Olive’s dad face – a wistful daydreamy look to his upper left is perfect for these musings!
@Stacker: Burning Man is in Nevada, but is spiritually closer to 1970’s California, so close enough!
@Baja Gaijin: Oh, you know it’s going to be “party time” in that brownstone.
BB: Yes, sadly this is one of the few times BB is actually correct – too many young people dive into shallow pools each year and sustain horrible life altering injuries. Sarge is gone.
DT: OK so Tess is going to zap zap Leda for his untoward behavior but it doesn’t change the reality that his company and/or heirs will still have 1/3rd share of the project.
RMMD: Since RMMD and Dexter Morgan share a last name, please let Cody burst in on Jonah and yell “Suprise MF!” like James Doakes did in Dexter Resurrection.
MW: Dad can only dream of weeks without Olive and all of the fun he and his wife can get up to, into and around.
JP: Glad to see how much every one has moved on from Randy and April going missing. Have the girls learned some Norwegian?
S4th: Nice to see the Pedro Pascal is expanding out and now appearing in comic strips.
“Please don’t let me drown,” Sarge prays quietly to himself, shortly before his prayer is answered in the most ironic way possible.
RMMD – “Can I SEE my brother?” “How should I know, lady, I’m not an optometrist.”
Marvin – That’s not Marvin, so the “Bitsy” they refer to is not Marvin’s dog. It’s this kid’s pet leech, Bitsy. Still better than the jellyfish.
Don Abundio, translated:
“I got your message, Don Abundio! When should I report for work as your new secretary?”
“Let me check my calendar”
“Okay, honey. We’ll start out with drinks and dancing Saturday night”
“Then my other secretaries, Eva and Ana, will show you the ropes”
Marvin: Wait…isn’t Bitsy Marvin’s dog? Is this supposed to be Marvin himself at an earlier age? Did Marvin’s parents have another kid? Why would they do such a thing after spawning Marvin?
RMMD: As I recall Jonah doesn’t care much for his sister either, so maybe she should stay out of the room too. In fact, his entire family should just leave him alone the way he obviously wanted in the first place. (“But then there would be no conflict!” you might say, to which I would respond that this is Rex Morgan we’re talking about.)
Is that Beetle Bailey a rerun? I thought I remembered it, and I thought I remembered Josh’s remarks about it.
Beetle Bailey: The fat guy jumped in the water? And the splash was so big that there was no pond afterwards? Well, I never! What a delightful comedic innovation, fellas!
The fish in the third panel is great, though. Aquatic wildlife usually has trouble with the “What is this? A cartoon?” look, but the art assembly team nailed it!
Lockhorns: Is the wedding picture part of their meta joke that both Leroy and Loretta appeared to be fifty years old when they each graduated high school?
Pluggers: Is this part of the meta joke that Pluggers are the stubbornest bongos on the face of the earth, and unhearingly wreck their cars twenty years after they should have surrendered their keys?
Gasoline Alley: This is where every marriage in town began, isn’t it?
Dustin: The running joke of our protagonist’s non-appeal to women is typically based on nothing real, but Axe body spray? I can actually blame Dustin for this one.
MW- It’ll be like “Olive-a-Beth Taylor as Cleopatra. Richard Wilbur- ton as Marc Antony.” All of this nonsense (MW and RMMD) has made me think of two great comics I followed as a kid….Mike Nomad and Steve Roper and the unforgettable Rip Kirby. Exquisitely drawn, tight, fast paced story lines that went on for maybe a month or so. Clever writing that made the reader anxious to see what was gonna happen next. Ah well…you can’t go back again…unless it’s to Santa Royale.
@Victor Von: I think that’s due to Sid’s tireless efforts.
GT – Wow, easy crowd.
C’shaft: Yeah, I’m sure you were a regular George Hamilton before that.
DT: “You’re the one with the electro-gun, right? Just so you know, I’m going to step out on my lunch break and there’s nobody else in the office, so any sounds of struggle or zappy noises will be completely unheard. Oh, and my memory’s been pretty terrible lately; I’ll probably forget ever seeing you the moment I walk out that door. Good luck, sister.”
FG: “And also to distract you from the horrors of our rule–oops, I wasn’t supposed to say that part out loud, was I?”
GT: “Ha-ha, no but seriously, I am deeply gender-critical. I make JK Rowling look like Laverne Cox. That’s not going to be a problem with any of your students or even your own kids, is it?”
MW: What are you all looking at? Is Olive opening a portal to the neither regions on the ceiling, or is everyone in this room just severely autistic?
Pluggers need both, and refuse to admit it.
@ValdVin: There’s not a whole lot Axe can do to salvage its reputation, but suing Dustin into oblivion for using their product name without permission would be a big step in the right direction.
That fish looks happy that its hellish existence of living in inch deep water at its size is finally over. Sometimes death is a blessing.
***
That jellyfish is almost as big as the bowl. Not having brains, I don’t know how much awareness they have or if they can scream internally. They can survive long enough out of water that if this one thought its hell was finally over, once its put back into the bowl its sanity will finally be broken.
***
I like to read that second panel with Cody saying “I don’t think he’ll want to see me” sounding like a pouting eight-year-old.
@Anonymous: On the other hand, Prince Valiant stories take forever, but no one cares because it’s gorgeous.
@TheDiva: Speaking from an autistic perspective, I actually try to look in the direction of the person I’m speaking to instead of whatever this dinner mess is where they might as well just be in different rooms. There are Zoom meetings with people half asleep in their pajamas that have more emotional connections than this.
Beetle Bailey: Are overweight people even allowed in the Military? Especially with drill sergeants?
There was an episode of J.A.G where an accountant working for the Navy was being court-martialed because he was overweight. His argument was that, he wasn’t a soldier, he literally sat in a basement all day crunching numbers on the computer, so it really wouldn’t make an difference if he weighted 120 pounds or 1200 pounds.
How true that would be to real-life though, I really don’t know.
@TheDiva:
@Peanut Gallery:
Umm… has anyone ever done Show and Tell at a young age?
The kids take turns showing off their various toys/pets/stuff
It’s stating that Marvin had shown Bitzy earlier before Jellyfish kid’s turn.
GT: Very sad that Rachel Merrill didn’t draw the tongues lolling out of everyone’s mouth, like in the final panels of BGSS.
JP: I can think of very few characters in all of comicdom who would be worse at nannying than Neddy. Maybe Andy Capp, and hot Witch-Queen Azura of Kira.
DT: Mr. Leda tries a smooth move to grab Tess LaKoyle’s flat ass and mistakenly takes hold of her death ray, firing it wildly in all directions.
MW: “I enjoy California a great deal. I’m looking forward to visiting the old Paramount Pictures movie lot, ordering the Hangtown Fry at the Pacific Dining Car, driving Sunset Boulevard to Malibu, dining on sand dabs and Dungeness crab at the Tadich Grill, seeing the Jerry Garcia shrine in Golden Gate Park, shopping at City Lights Books, visiting the alley where Bridgid O’Shaughnessy shot Miles Archer in The Maltese Falcon….”
”Yeah, we won’t be doing any of those things.”
BB – A lifetime of paraplegia is a fair payback…amirite….
Marvin – Bring back
@CanuckDownSouth:
To clarify – when JP does it, it is passe.
The execs and advertisers at MongoSports (all sports all the time, all Mongo) pointed out it is their highest rated event and to take baby steps. Today death tourney a few days later free and open elections.
@The Rambling Otter: You’re right, I didn’t think of that. In fact, now that I’ve checked, I see that Marvin and Bitsy were on this entire past week. But to know that, I would have had to be a regular reader of Marvin, and it ain’t worth it!
FC-Uh, Thel, a word of advice. If you want to make any money ditch the kid.
RMMD-I mean after all Cody did was to call the paramedics after Jonah had a heart attack.
MW-“Well. Two weeks with this lonely old woman with no parent supervision around. I don’t see any problems with this.”
@TheDiva:
I can only assume there’s a little fly buzzing round and round over their heads, just outside the frame. But I don’t know why they’re so good-natured about it. Maybe Olive is in psychic contact with its fly-brain.
@The Rambling Otter: #59: Not in today’s army, but remember that the army of Beetle Bailey is the army of Mort Walker’s youth, frozen in time. In the postwar era there still plenty of beer-bellied sergeants and alcoholic officers, waiting out their 20 years to collect a pension. Most of those lifers were weeded out by the late 60s. In his memiors General Shwartzkopf describes the peacetime army between the Korean and Vietnam Wars as being the worst for quality of personnel.
@Guillermo el Chiclero: As I understand it, they also weeded out goldbricking career privates and thugs who signed up as an alternative to going to the county jail.
In other words, pretty much everybody at Camp Swampy.
@Ken: 57- Thanx for the feedback. I never followed Prince Valiant-hell I barely had the attention span for Kirby or Nomad. But a whole summer of adultery and diddling? The artwork in P.V. is beautiful. Mary would be moved to tears. Olive would want to go back to medieval times. Or has she already?
Crank: “Some people say there is no pursuit nobler than teaching. Les Moore and I call those people ‘losers who aren’t famous’. Still, at least I had the decency to quit to concentrate on my work, rather than sticking with the day job but completely half-assing it, like Moore did! Also, you wouldn’t believe how much creative freedom you gain for a comic strip about a school once you stop actually being in one! It’s called writing!”
DT: Okay, I think I’ve finally worked out how the whole Greek mythology riff fits into the overall symbolism. We’ve got someone named Leda with swan imagary … and we’ve got someone who can hurl thunderbolts! But their genders and roles in the story have been reversed! I can’t decide if that’s so convoluted it’s probably just me seeing patterns that aren’t there, or if it’s exactly convoluted enough to be one of Costello’s “look how clever I am” bits.
FG: “We’re still doing the bread and circuses, but for good reasons!”
JP: Seriously? We’re doing avocado toast gags in 2025?
Pluggers: I SAID “YOU’RE A PLUGGER IF MOST OF YOUR MAIL…”
S4th: Can we just skip to the part wher Hil learns this teacher is gay, or married, or gay and married to another guy who is also gay?
OTF: Remember, a strict nondisclosure agreement to keep a project completely and totally secret doesn’t mean you can’t discuss it with your family! Fastrack’s grasp of secrecy evidently operates on the same basis as Judge Parker‘s CIA.
Sarge is wearing civilian underwear?
@Ken: Prince Valiant seems to take forever because it’s a weekly strip, but I think if you actually look at how many installments it takes to get through a storyline it’s actually not that many.
@Baja Gaijin: Did you lose the image of Wilber saying “Well,I’ll put an end to that!” ?
Sales OrganV.D.: For tonight’s performance of Sex Organ V.D., the part of Cody will be played by Lupin III!
FG: I supposed they had been holding the Tournament of Death on Mongo since well before Ming, and they were continuing the old custom. One good thing is the truce between kingdoms, to allow for negotiations, while the populaces are distracted by the slaughter in the Arena Mongothic. That way the people don’t realize what they’ve lost until it’s too late, which only makes sense for a planet with a monarchical system of governments. The truce probably fell into disuse under Ming, since he told everyone what to do, with no need for time-wasting negotiations.
@Scott: @Peanut Gallery: I can only assume there’s a little fly buzzing round and round over their heads, just outside the frame. But I don’t know why they’re so good-natured about it. Maybe Olive is in psychic contact with its fly-brain.
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Thats no ordinary fly! That’s Sid’s Dad’s star client Fearless Fly!
@The Rambling Otter: Beetle Bailey: Are overweight people even allowed in the Military?
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On MASH one episode had a fat guy give Klinger the idea to try to eat his way to a discharge out of the Army. But, of course, MASH also shows two Doctors with a still in their tent so its probably not that reliable as an example of correct military protocall.
Beetle Bailey – Luckily “Sarge” is merely a title, and they will pull out a spare, just like they used a spare one to fill the role of Cookie.
Marvin – Bitsy is the sort of kid who is going to have a lot of pets move to a farm upstate.
Rex Morgan, MD – Cody is the sort of guy to have a half-brother move to a farm upstate.
@The Rambling Otter:
Umm… has anyone ever done Show and Tell at a young age?
The kids take turns showing off their various toys/pets/stuff
__________________________________
School Management put an end to that once Marin realized his used diapers and the contents within came under the heading “/stuff”.
MW: after Creepy Mary has Olive fully groomed she will hand her over to Wilbur.
@Stacker:
#18. MW: Stacker, your list of California attractions can all be viewed from Marys condo (cough). Reminds me of when I went to Disneyland as an adult. One attraction promised to take us around the world in 15 minutes. What we saw was a lame series of picture of Eiffel Tower, the Pyramids, Tahiti, and a few more sites. Do NOT go to Disneyland if you’re too old for gullibility.
@Rube: #68: A Vietnam vet I knew back in the late 70s said his platoon had a 40 year old buck private who was drunk about every day. Back then they needed warm bodies. During the Vietnam era the army lowered the mental standards, originating the term Macnamara’s Moron Corps. In the 70s some genius finally determined that all those drunks, thugs, goldbrickers and sad sacks were a liability and would only get in the way of the good soldiers.
@Anonymous: The remainder of my comment can be found at the Castle aaargh
@CanuckDownSouth: FG So the Tournament of Mongo is an all-out melee where you’re not out until you’re at least so badly injured that there’s about a 90% death rate
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The Tournament of Finger quoting Margo has a 96% death rate.
@GarrisonSkunk: “C’mon, Olive,” said Fearless Fly telepathically, “help me find my damn glasses!”
Hagar the Horrible: Why are the contents of the box in panels one and two different?
Marvin: A toddler whose pet has a venomous sting? Must be agitating for a transfer to Li?.
RMMD: Lorna: Can I see my brother?
Doctor Who’s Secretly a Grammar Nazi: Well, he didn’t turn invisible, so you just have to be in the same room.
Beetle Bailey: Beetle and Killer can try all they want, they’ll never be able to jut like Thel Keane does.
C-Shaft: In the admittedly monochrome flashback scenes, Young Battom has been depicted with a mayonnaise complexion. Why show when you can tell?
DT: Considering that Tess plans to kill Leda for unrelated reasons, his now ex-secretary informing her that he’s a sexual harasser and doing so like a character from Pal Joey feels a little extraneous.
Dustin: There’s only one difference in the pictures between today and yesterday. Kelley and Parker are clearly not ready to take over Slylock Fox.
GT: To get that kind of laugh Coach Babu must have a gun in the hand that we can’t quite see.
JP: Karen just needs to keep her timeframes realistic, given that it’s taken a full decade for the strip to discover garden variety “Millennials love avocado toast” jokes.
Lockhorns: Is it meant to be part of Lockhorns lore that Leroy and Loretta got married when they were about 50, or is it just too much of a hassle to draw Leroy with hair? The question answers itself.
Luann: Monstro wins by virtue of being in the water and not being able to hear the two land bipeds.
MW: When Olive gets back to school she can give a presentation on how she spent her extended vacation, complete with slides. And since this will cover the subject of Wilbur Weston, also with trauma counseling available for the other students.
FG: If your country faced a national emergency that required skilled fighting men in large numbers wouldn’t it be self-defeating to have your best warriors slaughter each other for entertainment? Even in ancient Rome the gladiators were mostly slaves, war prisoners, glory seekers, and people from the lower classes so desperate they felt they had no other choice.
Marvin: Can’t we all just be happy the creators of Marvin found a second “brown squishy thing that’s starting to smell” they can joke about?
The Family Circus Spanish to English.
FC: If Thel turns into a werewolf and eats Jeffy I’ll take back everything I ever said about this strip.
@Sequitur: Carrot Top came by to borrow some things and return some other things.
@94 Artist formerly known as Ben:
Carrot Top! Why is it always Carrot Top?
@Sequitur: In my day it was always Gallagher.
@Artist formerly known as Ben:
This solves the mystery of why the camera panned upward for the third panel yesterday. In today’s cloned strip, extra space is needed for the speech bubbles. I almost admire that kind of planning in the service of lazy art.
@Guillermo el Chiclero: Yes! Of course Ming probably *wanted* to get rid of the best warriors. Makes one wonder if before Ming’s time, it was (a) less deadly (b) all glory-seekers not the best champions of kingdoms, or even (c) understood as a form of human sacrifice for the Peace of Toa
BB: Sarge is not dead. X’s for eyes is comicese for passed out (unconscious) or drunk. Death is indicated by crosses for eyes, as the cross can be a symbol for death. I am of course making all this up.
A medical emergency occurs in Rex Morgan, M.D. Not pictured/needed: Rex Morgan M.D.
Every time I look at Cody’s brother-in-law, I think he looks like a doctor from the original Star Trek. And God, I hope that’s what he believes.
@NotThat Stan:
#99. BB: even agreeing argumendo for Not-Stan’s theory of cross-eyed death in comics, Josh’s header is still accurate. Someone, anyone, please toss that fish in a water-filled bucket before that innocent bystander departs this life!
Number of times I, a junior enlisted, hung out with an E-7 under any circumstances: 0
At some dopey Huck Finn-esque swimmin’ hole: 0
Wished agonizing pain/injury/disfigurement on an E-7: Many! Who says Camp Swampy is just a sad abyss?
RMMD: Someone I know had a heart attack of the kind called a “widow-maker,” and was told at the hospital that if he had arrived at the ER half an hour later, he would likely not have been breathing when he left. He had an operation involving stents, don’t remember details. But I do remember that he was sent back home after only three days or so. I’m curious about why Jonah will be hospitalized for an entire week, and of course if there’s one person unlikely to tell me the answer, it’s Rex Morgan, Alleged MD.
Q: What was the last thing to through Sarge’s mind?
A: His vertebrae!
@Charterstoned: You knew the Addams Family???!!
@Poteet: It is remarkable how operations that once required weeks of recovery in the hospital are now done with only an overnight stay, or even outpatient. I tell myself this is because medicine has gotten much better, and not because insurance companies have gotten much stingier.
@taig: Luann: Is there supposed to be something inherently funny in the notion of a creator hating on their title character? I don’t get it.
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Sherlock Holmes always got the feeling Doyle was trying to kill him.
@GarrisonSkunk: I heard that when Thomas Harris was writing the Hannibal Lector novels, he would picture the scenes in his mind, with himself looking over the characters talking and such. But he always had this creepy feeling that Hannibal Lector knew that he was being watched.
Then when Anthony Hopkins was given the role of Hannibal Lector for the Silence of the Lambs film, he phoned up Thomas Harris in character as Hannibal Lector.
I heard that Thomas Harris nearly had a breakdown over that.
@Poteet: Yeah, pretty sure my dad wasn’t in the hospital for more than 3-4 days after his heart attack; I’m sure they’ll keep you longer if things aren’t going the way they want but the doc probably wouldn’t know that until after Jonah had been in the CCU for a couple days.
Meanwhile Rex is sitting at home wondering when he’s going to get his slice of wedding cake…
@TheDiva:
…and perhaps sitting on a bench, talking to a squirrel that, thanks to poor-perspective drawing, is gigantic. And is hoping he drops some cake.
@Poteet:
#104. RMMD: today, Sat., im listening to an npr program that says doing CPR is the only really effective way of keeping a person alive until paramedics arrive.
When Macys agreed with Post™ cereals to have a Linus the Lionhearted balloon, the show made a special cartoon about it…is Mary and Olive going to witness the maiden flight of the new Mary’s Worst™ balloon, come November?
@Activist:
#104. The show is Radio Lab and includes instruction on when and how to do CPR. And save someone’s life. (But do call 911 first)
Late Thread Cuisine: What can I say? They’re almost spherical!
@The Rambling Otter: Too bad he didn’t write “Zero Hour!”/” Airplane!”, the worst that would happen would be Leslie Neilson opening his front door and exclaiming, “Just wanted to say ‘Good luck, we’re all counting on you!’ ” Which I understand he did a few times on flights, with the help of mischievous flight attendants.
@Baja Gaijin: Late Thread Cuisine: What can I say? They’re almost spherical!
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Don’t forget the creamy Tabasco™ filling, and you have Snuffy Smith’s famed Grey Balls Of Fire!
@Baja Gaijin: Makes it easier to roll under the table.
@A Grave Mind: and perhaps sitting on a bench, talking to a squirrel that, thanks to poor-perspective drawing, is gigantic. And is hoping he drops some cake.
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One of those Flemish Giant squirrels that J.Nebus has been breeding, no doubt.
@taig: @Baja Gaijin: Makes it easier to roll under the table.
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“A meal fit for a King! Here King, here King, fetch the entree!”- Henny Youngman, adapted.
@Baja Gaijin:
One of my personal favorites from Letitia Cropley’s “Dibley’s Delectable Delights”.
The Familliar Mucus: “Were Jeffy? There! There! Jeffy!”- Mel Brooks, ” Young Melonhead” (adapted)
@GarrisonSkunk: The “Were wolf? There wolf!” I always found as cute as “Who do voodoo? You do!”
Both I know from phrases on the loading screens of The Sims 4. Because I am a little uncultured…
@A Grave Mind: Every time I look at Cody’s brother-in-law, I think he looks like a doctor from the original Star Trek. And God, I hope that’s what he believes.
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He’ll give Jonah a pill to grow another heart.
@Baja Gaijin: Chicken liver timbales! Perfect for playing Latin jazz in a traditional Jewish deli.
@A Grave Mind: How many times did you fall off a cliff,only to be saved by a Horizontal Hanging Tree™ at the last moment?
@115 Baja Gaijin:
Wow! They shunned the tomato.
@A Grave Mind: Dr. M’Benga? I see it. And it’s cool because he got to slap the shit out of Spock in that one episode.
@Baja Gaijin: I like fried chicken liver on occasion. I can’t imagine what unfried chicken liver is like, however.
@Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol: If I recall, with the infamous Tribbles episode, where Kirk is being swamped with Tribbles and they keep falling on his head.
A stagehand who didn’t like Shatner was pelting him with the fluffballs. It must have felt really good.
@Baja Gaijin:
Every other form of chicken liver I’ve tasted was AWESOME. I’m giving this one the benefit of the doubt.
And thanks, Baja, didn’t see the Shadow COTW until this morning. Grand thing to wake up to.
Can we call getting on the Float, Shadow COTW, and Scratchy’s Scrotums the same week a Triple Crown? It sounds cool, but I can’t be the only one doing it. It’s like picking your own nickname.
@73 GarrisonSkunk: I don’t think I ever had that Wilbur, which is irrelevant because I’m laying off showing him in mashups for a while. I have a feeling the next storyline is gonna be Wilbur-heavy. I don’t want anyone to suffer from premature Wilbur-exhaustion.
@Baja Gaijin: Good thinking!
@118 taig: That totally makes sense.
@121 Anonymous: So THAT’s where they got the recipe!
@125 Peanut Gallery: Timbalero!
@127 Sequitur: Shunned the tomato or is the tomato trying to escape from the timbale?
@129 Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol: Unfried AND covered in thick glop! Imagine what that tastes like.
@131 A Grave Mind: It’s been called a hat trick in the past. The Triple Crown sounds far classier.
@The Rambling Otter: , with the infamous Tribbles episode, where Kirk is being swamped with Tribbles
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No one ever talks about how lucky it was for Kirk that the Tribbles had eaten the grain,because otherwise Kirk would have been pounded by tons of grain. Who designs a storage bay hatch directly above the release mechanism, anyway?
@A Grave Mind: Every other form of chicken liver I’ve tasted was AWESOME.
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“Remember to save the liver!!!!!”- Dan Aykroyd , ” Julia Child Sketch”
@135 Baja Gaijin:
Damn, you’re right. That tomato wanted no part of that!
@GarrisonSkunk: Very good point.
That’s like that odd oversight in King’s Quest V “Oh no, your character was kidnapped and locked in a basement, thankfully you can pick the padlock that’s on the INSIDE of the door for whatever bizarre reason” xD
@139 The Rambling Otter:
I really liked Kings Quest V. The music was really good.
decor fan V.D.@Sequitur: Hagar the Horrible: Why are the contents of the box in panels one and two different?
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The
Baby shark couldn’t keep a straight face after it heard Hagar’s punchline.
@The Rambling Otter: @GarrisonSkunk: Very good point.
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Thank you,kindly :)
@Sequitur: Hagar the Horrible: Why are the contents of the box in panels one and two different?
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Wizard of Id did it.
@Sequitur: Yeah, I agree :3 I know many fans hated on it, but it was very atmospheric, and I didn’t mind Cedric the Owl really, I found his voice was rather cute. Added to the games’ charm.