You can fly, man. Why even bother running. Makes no sense
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Shoe, 11/13/25
“Plus I forgot we live in a tree! Like where am I even supposed to go? The end of that branch is maybe fifteen feet away, tops!”
Garfield, 11/13/25
Garfield is of course the title character of the comic strip Garfield, making him by far the most important being in his own narrative universe. You might think it’s depraved that these foodstuffs are begging him to not restrain his appetites, but being consumed by such a divine figure would surely be the apex of their existence.
Pluggers, 11/13/25
I feel like this is the most at odds I’ve ever seen a Pluggers caption and cartoon be. Look at that bear-man’s face! He doesn’t think bacon is the only critical part of a BLT. He thinks he’s made a huge mistake!
Mother Goose and Grimm, 11/13/25
Look, after years of reading some not-so-great comic strips, I think I’ve given up on demanding that everyone recognize that the comics are a visual medium. But I think we can at least all agree that the comics are not an audible medium and write jokes for them accordingly.
92 replies to “You can fly, man. Why even bother running. Makes no sense”
FC-And to help Dolly get to sleep here is a tumbler of gin.
MW-“Got to find a new agent,” the parrot thinks to itself.
Clairawns.
Cleeransuh.
Clayuhrahnsuh.
Cleeuhranseh.
Clarence?
Nah, Josh, that’s the exact moment Andy Bear realized he’s wandered outside, into a…pine forest? He’s just so distracted by that bacon, which is totally a thing we all can’t stop talking about here in 2006!
Pluggers:
And here I thought it was the slathered-on mayo.
@A Grave Mind: “Pluggers still think bacon jokes are funny” is the most accurate a Pluggers has been in a while.
Mother Goose and Grimm:
“Does this make each of us a coq au vin?”
Kudos to the Plugger artist for capturing the exact instant an overweight slug who’s been warned about his health feels the first pang of his fatal heart attack while biting into a sandwich of pure pork belly.
Notice the snacks’ word balloons are not thought balloons, like Garfield’s. This would imply they could speak to Jon, and all other humans, too, no? I’m trying not to be offended that my box of Cheez-Its is giving me the silent treatment. It’s because I looked at the box of Cheese Nips, isn’t it? I think I need to go have a very strange talk with a florist.
Garfield:
“To make you especially tasty, I’ll warm all three of you up in a confection oven!”
Pluggers – The poorly drawn bacon receded into the background and became insignificant since the drawing focuses on Bearman having his finger up his nose.
@Bob Tice:
Hiram is drinking jars of his own piss, labelled “Pisse de jars”.
…Why did I go there? Just because that’s what “gander” translates to?…Shoe:
“I’ve got more jaws than a Roy Scheider movie vehicle! — no…wait a minute…that’s not the idiom, is it.”
Birds can’t hold their poop, so wouldn’t jogging in those pants be a terrible idea? Trick question, darlings, gray sweatsuits are ALWAYS a terrible idea.
Shoe: So the whole of Treetops, WV consists of birds that not only can’t fly, but can’t even run? Man, as soon as a predator stumbles on this town, it’s going to be like the arrival of cats and rats to the dodo buffet of 17th century Mauritius.
Shoe: I like the little shift in perspective between the first and second panels; it’s a nice touch of visual flair. However, the effect is slightly spoiled by the Perfessor and Skyler looking directly at the camera.
FC: Dolly doesn’t fall asleep because she can’t understand her mom’s Australian accent.
“Don’t Spit the dummy, Sheila. We’re just getting to the bonzer!”
DT: so your evidence is that he drives that road regularly? Don’t most accidents occur on the most travelled roads? Any hard evidence? No cut brake lines? No weird skid marks? Was he wearing seat belt? Did your ME do a careful autopsy to be sure he wasn’t dead before he went over the edge? Was the car running and in gear or was it in neutral? If it was in neutral then maybe he was dead and loaded into the car and the vehicle was pushed over the edge.
JP: did they ever establish the nature of the “charity”?
RMMD: umm… since this is all happening seemingly in same day, did she ever finish the book??? ? The first chapters of Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy would confuse her because it seems to be about a lonely student at a private school.
As I’m feeling especially reality-based this morning, I can only be grateful that Garfield is naked, as a cat should be. Snacks don’t talk, you say? Oh yeah, they do.
RMMD: How long before Summer, like Dorothy, realizes that there’s no place like home? (on the couch with ice cream)
Shoe: The Perfesser, like so many of us who attempt to go for a run late in life, has just realized that his knees are on backwards. (Like the rest of us, he could also stand to cut back on the flies at bedtime.)
Say what you will about this morning’s Garfield, it’s going to make for an epic Garfield Without Garfield.
MG&G: Re today’s audible joke: blame the staff for printing the alt-text accompaniment instead of the actual word balloons.
Luann: We’ve got at least another week of this nonsense, because we still have to see what the third blow-up doll has in store for this dog.
@Treetown:
On JP: Yes, it’s ‘give mopey white girls and their token best friend of color free European vacations’.
On that note, buckle up everyone. It looks like we’re about to see just what CIApril and her useless husband have been doing all this time. Maybe instead of just having a brawl in a charming cafe, they’ll burn down the whole damn city.
Mother Goose and Grimm readers will have nothing to do with your silly French diacritics indicating syllabic stress and pronunciation! Accents, my left scapular feathers, fancy continental orthography is for those who don’t drink wine from the discount shelf!
Pluggers: I’ve only now noticed that the contact email is aol.com. That seems strangely appropriate for pluggers. Also, only just noticing it makes me worry I might be a plugger.
@A Grave Mind: Birds can’t hold their poop….
I was thinking the exact same thing, seeing the parrot on Toby’s dining room table.
It’s anthropomorphic animal day at CC!
MGG: It’s only real Clearance if it comes from the Clearance region of France. Otherwise, it’s sparkling Kirkland Signature Wine.
Shoe: At least he tried.
Garfield: The touch of stomach acid is the only way they can feel alive.
Pluggers: The ‘LT’ stands for Large-scale Tachycardia.
DtM: It’s too easy to make a joke about Mr. Wilson being passed-out drunk or whatever, but he’s an old man. Old men take multiple, long, deep naps every day (at least, my 85YO father does). No, the real menace here is that a four-year-old knows what “passed out” is and looks like, probably from when his mom takes her “nerve pills,” with a generous pour of chardonnay!
BF I don’t read this one much, is there something I’m missing that would explain Maeve’s goggle-eyed shock at her nearly-fiancé boyfriend’s insistence that (1) they determine together how to handle a difficult relative’s attempts to sabotage their relationship and (2) she actually goes to visit if they’re going to maintain a relationship? Couples… usually want to be around each other, don’t they? Somehow I don’t think the disruption in the world’s geography that allows it to be the same late night time in France and Canada explains her confusion.
MW – If this is going where I hope it’s going, we’ll soon see Toby and Ian at the dinner table and Sunny will start in with “SQUAWK! Hurry up, my husband will be home soon! SQUAWK! Oh yeah, baby! You know what I like! SQUAWK!”
FC: Cats are capable of feeling boredom, Dolly.
MW: We’re definitely going to get a scene with Toby and Sunny at karaoke.
Dustin: Good job, careers lady! You’ve just assured Dustin will be four hours late!
Garfield: What kind of muffin is that? Caramel and carpet lint?
Shoe: “Plus, I appear to be shitting myself…like, present tense…”
Pluggers: I would going to make a cannibalism joke here but it occurs to me that I’ve never seen a Pig Plugger? Maybe that a drawing of a ruddy pig in a sweater vest hits that uncanny valley between human and humanoid animal.
MGG I had no idea that geese were such close talkers. No wonder that avian flu has been so devastating…
Luann: Tiffany knows the makeup has been ethically tested on animals. Also, as Poteet posted yesterday, it’s very difficult to feel any sympathy for Dez. She knows what these dopes are like, and, yet, she still subjected this poor foster dog to them.
CS: “I asked the choir to pray for us, but I don’t think God wants anything to do with us.”
9CL: Gibbering, capering madness.
@taig: Nice! I might add that Clearance is one of the least-populated departments of France, ever since that “Everything-Must-Go” promotion of 1983. . .
Loose Parts: Canola? Is that your real name? / It’s a nickname. My given name is—” / Geez, look at the time. I gotta go.
@But What Do I Know?:
Is IS still the world’s capital for DVDs of Breakin’ 2, Electric Boogaloo.
@But What Do I Know?: A very short-sighted decision according to the history books…
We’ve seen the inside of the Perfesser’s house. This may be the first time I’ve seen the outside. Are trees TARDISes, just without the ability to travel through time and space?
***
A BLT isn’t haute cuisine, but imagine living a life where lettuce and tomato are too refined for your palate.
Gasoline Alley: Sorry, Howie and T-Bone, that’s not big of all of us.
DtM: Dennis, not every sleeping guy carrying a bit extra and sporting a pink nose in the funny papers is Thirsty Thurston.
@taig:
MGG: It’s only real Clearance if it comes from the Clearance region of France. Otherwise, it’s sparkling Kirkland Signature Wine.
Today, the President signed an executive order stating that any Clearance wine produced in the United States shall henceforth be called “Clearance” wine. “To hell with the French!” Said the VP
MG&G: Isn’t “clearance wine” just vinegar?
Pluggers, regardless of what people think, do eat their vegetables. One leaf of iceberg lettuce and one slice of tomato every week, whether they need it or not!
Shoe: Can the birds of Shoe fly? I mean, they wear shirts, and the tips of their wings have evolved into grasping appendages. Do they merely live in trees as a formality at this point, unable to get any closer to to the vast expanses of sky that their ancestors soared through with such freedom? No wonder they all look depressed.
“God damn but Paula Pig made for some tasty bacon!”
Pluggers: We have a peek into the faith of a Plugger. We at least know what they aren’t.
Mother Goose and Grimm does not make visual sense today. Father Goose (?) is dressed like a waterfowl hunter, isn’t he? Don’t waterfowl hunters sit in blinds by ponds or lakes and consume Snickers bars and schnapps to keep warm? Isn’t there a goose season as well as a duck season?
@TheDiva:
I AM pretty sure we’ve seen them fly, haven’t we? Like, Shoe and Cosmo flying somewhere while Shoe does a bit? Anybody else recall this? If I’m nuts, that’s a really lame manifestation.
And please, madame. “Clearance” is clearly synonymous with Barefoot Vineyards. Or that Bully Hill garbage, but that’s a local problem.
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: Pluggers: I think bear-man is biting off a few fingers, along with the bacon.
Hi and Lois follows up July 4’s call to the barricades with a cutting analysis of the fetishization of commodities.
Pluggers begrudgingly try a British-style bacon bap to say they’ve given foreign food a chance before returning to straight ol’ ‘Merican classics.
Shoe – I started my jog when I realized, I already had the runs….
Garfield – Talking to snacks doesn’t necessarily make you crazy. Now when they start talking back….
Pluggers – A Plugger knows the only critical part of one’s diet is grease and fat….
MG&G – Claire’ le ran cid….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
@A Grave Mind: Yup, they’ve flown, and I am shocked – shocked! that a comic featuring newspaper offices and bars precariously perched on tree limbs peopled by half-clothed birds lacks a complete sense of internal consistency!
@Hibbleton: More distractions…
Pluggers – Liposuction and Tummy Tuck.
MG&G – He could at least have added “Accent grave over the ‘e’.”
Don Abundio, translated:
“Marsha looks sad!”
“It’s understandable… She has to live alone in that fishbowl”
“Poor thing”
“Hmmm… I have an idea”
“Can I leave her here for a little play date and come back in an hour?”
[Sign: CARNIVOROUS PIRANHAS]
@richardf8 (yesterthread): Thanks! Today, Don Abundio actually shows some sympathy for the fish’s plight, but of course he goes for a cheap and inadequate solution.
A true Plugger never adds guacamole to his BLT, because then it becomes something else entirely.
“What’s your favorite water?”
“It’s French. Vichy.”
And that was the last time she dated a Bohemian waxwing.
Chix (sic): I’m sure someone somewhere is laughing at today’s strip and they might not even be in an institution.
Pluggers: Andy Bear is attacking that bacon sandwich with the same expression and gusto as shown in Goya’s ” Saturn Eating His Children”.
@A Grave Mind: #46: Yes, in the early strips they did fly. Cosmo even accomplished it wearing his herringbone sportcoat.
C’shaft: Church choirs, in my experience, don’t do “dress rehearsals”–they tend to lean more towards “run through the song an hour before service, work the same spot that has been giving the basses problems for the past two weeks, and pray that THIS time it sticks during the service.” My local chorale does have dress rehearsals but the “dress” part isn’t literal; it’s more a time to run through the program in order with all accompanying musicians. But let’s pretend for the sake of this, um, “joke” that both of these things are true: why would Crankshaft wear his robe bowling? Wouldn’t he just leave it in the closet at the church and pull it on when he gets there? Unless…oh god, he’s naked under that thing, isn’t he? That’s the only way this makes sense: Crankshaft is completely starkers under his choir robe. Enjoy your breakfast!
DT: Maybe, like the real Buford Pusser, he died of not wearing his god-damn seatbelt, especially since he was thrown far enough from the car that his body was recoverable but the car was not.
Dustin: If someone was consistently two hours late for work, I would be less likely to dismiss them as “lazy” and more likely to question what outside factors are involved. In Dustin’s case we can rule out child or elder care responsibilities, but lack of reliable transportation seems to be a good bet (you just know Dustin’s parents would insist he take the bus). Then again, if I were a business working with a temp/hiring agency I would wonder why this agent only seems to have the same loser showing up for everything.
GT: This flashback would be a lot more interesting if it revealed how Keri had to pull a Back to the Future to get their parents together.
Luann: Is the shelter really desperate for foster volunteers, or is their vetting process nonexistent?
MW: This isn’t how parrot mimicry works, but you know what, we’ve had a teenage dog telepath and a severely mentally ill woman whose brother lets her wander around the country despite being a danger to herself and others, so it’s the least stupid thing that’s happened in the strip all year.
RMMD: Since the strip is firmly wed to the notion that Augie is a Nice Guy(TM) and incapable of doing wrong, there are only two ways this can play out: a) Summer somehow becomes okay with all of this, deciding she’s happy and flattered to be Augie’s inspiration or b) Augie pulls his book from publication, declaring “the money doesn’t matter, YOU are what I care about!”–even though if that were in the slightest bit true, he wouldn’t have put Summer in this position to begin with. I can’t decide which one would be more infuriatingly stupid.
Pluggers: The look on bear-man’s face is due to his sudden realization that he’s trying to eat a squeaky dog toy.
Mother Goose and Grimm: I refuse to believe that this guy likes to drink expensive wine, even on sale. I mean, look at his hat. Look at his overalls. Dude’s a plugger, man.
@Guillermo el chiclero: Saturn Eating His Neighbors.
@TheDiva: (on Dustin) It seems like it would be bad for repeat business, and I’m sure word would get around that this agency sends unreliable workers. Maybe she’s trying to tank the company in a super passive-aggressive way because she got passed over for a promotion that went to someone deeply unqualified, because of, let’s call them, surface-level attributes.
Pluggers want a BTL sandwich that is just bacon, but deep in their heart they know that without T and L, they won’t poop for weeks
@Dennis Jimenex: #50: re-Pluggers: Pluggers always eat from the four food groups, sugar, salt, grease, and starch.
Garfield: Garfield’s newest story arc explores the daring question of whether or not cats can be schizophrenic.
@TheDiva:
Luann: Is the shelter really desperate for foster volunteers, or is their vetting process nonexistent?
We saw the full extent of the vetting process, remember? It went a little like this :
R.A. : Are you and your roommates passionate about taking care of this foster dog?
Dez : Oh, my roommates made their feelings quite clear about how they felt about me bringing in a foster dog into our room!
Imaginary Tiffany and Steffi : WE DON’T WANT A DOG IN OUR ROOM UNLESS IT’S CUTE!
…Man, it sure is good for Dez that Dash turned out to be the exact kind of cute little pocket dog her roommates were hoping for, and not the kind of big, old, mean mutt they were afraid of! Otherwise, the fact that she forced this responsibility on people who clearly weren’t ready for it would be her fault, for lying that they wanted this responsibility in the first place! But since her roommates are (overly) enthuisiastic, that means that everything that goes wrong is THEIR fault!
MT- Judging by Olive’s haircut, she lacks enough good judgment to be judging anyone else. Can she communicate telepathically with feral hogs?
Those corks indicate each of these wines have been opened. Is “Clea-ar-ance” located in the BacqueWash region of Frawnce?
MW: Might I suggest starting with the Guess Who? Sunny already has part of “No Time” down.
Dirk Twacy: Check the position the seat is in, just like in that “Columbo” with Robert Culp!
Am I the only one who finds Mother Goose & Grimm completely interchangeable with Shoe?
@Virginia: BacqueWash region of Frawnce?
____________________________________________
I didn’t know Raquel Welsh was a region of France, located in the mountain range I assume. RIP Raquel.
@CanuckDownSouth: re: BF: True. It doesn’t seem like Slut Friend is all that….invested….in the relationship, does it?
Time discrepancy: It’s 11AM in Paris. Benoit simply prefers to spend the day in bed with the curtains tightly drawn. Like his hero, Charles Baudelaire. He also is supporting a mulatto mistress, to whom he plans to leave all those vineyards.
@Guillermo el chiclero: My thoughts exactly!
Garfield – In the battle against Ozempic, Big Snack has to fight. Luckily, Garfield can take some payola to promote gluttony by reheating the same old jokes enabling poor eating habits.
Pluggers – Pluggers have finally caught up to the bacon era that was big on the Internet in the 2010s, which means either Pluggers are 10+ years behind the times, or Millennials are aging into Pluggerdom.
In any case, if you find this comic
funnyrelatable, your cholesterol levels indicate you should be cutting out bacon from your diet.@TheDiva: #62 RMMD- What gets me is, she hasn’t even gotten to chapter 5 yet. You know, the part when they’re in the shower and she asks him “If you have both hands on my shoulders, then what the hell are you scrubbing my butt with?”
Gasoline Alley – If he does go into the comedian business, he could give Shorty and Beanpole some competition.
9CL – Let’s see – Alistair professed undying love to Lolly and is engaged to her, but now he’s making out with her twin sister Polly. Polly is checking her schedule to see when they can boink. With normal people, this situation would cause a huge family uproar with estrangement for generations. Lolly looked like she was peeved, but no one is particularly upset. I guess Amos and Edda are too preoccupied with their admiration for Edda’s matchless beauty to give any thought to their children.
Keep in mind that world class musicians and sex maniacs Alistair and Lolly are only twenty years old, but the parents didn’t give a crap that maybe they were too young to get married.
The artwork is slapdash today. Alistair’s head is enormous, and Polly looks barely sketched.
Get help, Brooke.
Edge City (GoComics) – I hope they’re going to put on some blaze orange clothing before they go out hunting. I used to live in a rural area, and we put on blaze orange hats when we went from the house to the car during deer season.
Pluggers – I can understand not bothering with the hothouse tomatoes available now, but I question the judgment of anyone who passes up a real tomato during the summer.
DT: Hey, I know this one! Sheriff Somner could have suffered a violent attack of the sneezes, causing him to lose control of the vehicle! Did anyone check the corpse’s shirt for boogers?
Six Chex: Why is Depressed Chix’ iPhone throwing up through its camera lens?
@Ukulele Ike: Curtis Armstrong? I liked (well, hated) him better as Metatron.
Props to Blondie for showing everyone sitting on all sides of the dinner table. Lots of visual depictions of multiple people eating together has everyone on just one of two sides. It gives the viewer a clear look at everyone, but in reality would make for a preposterous seating arrangement.
@Rover Berkeley: Oh, and I found the joke funny, too.
@Ukulele Ike:
I think the inconsistencies of how Slut Friend is treating this relationship is explainable in that the story is trying to frame her as being the VICTIM : so, it’s purehearted true love when she’s confronting mean people trying to get her to drop Benoit, but it’s her being stuck with a jealous, possessive madman when Benoit is punishing those said people.
In-between, you get Slut Friend going all “OF COURSE I’M FLUENT IN FRENCH AND ALWAYS METICULOUSLY DO MY CONSULTANT WORK, WHO DO YOU TAKE ME FOR”, to cover the fact that it’s WAY too late to undo the part where she got someone fired for
correctlyaccusing her of only having gotten hired because Benoit wanted to date her.(well, at least that’s how *I* am reading it…)
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX: I thought he was just daintily extending his pinky.
@Ukulele Ike:
You also could have gone Marcel Proust!
His doctor has long given up on him. His wife is checking his life insurance policy. He knows his diet is killing him, but he cannot stop. “Next time” he promises himself, but “next time” will never come.
His fate is sealed as the future body at an open casket funeral where a dog man asks his wife “who is this for again?” and the caption “You’re a plugger if you’ve been to so many funerals, you’ve lost track.”
Can any of the bird-people in Shoe actually fly? We’ve never seen them fly in strip, have we? I assume the wings are vestigial, before they evolved to be dumpy and sarcastic.
They can never get down from their tree-prisons.
MG&G: I know birds don’t have eyelids, but Mother Goose’s eyes are starting to creep me out. Maybe she should invest in glasses with opaque lenses like her farmer buddy there.
@A Grave Mind: Not enough absinthe and opium and hashish.