Adopt, don’t shop (for horrifying nightmare beasts)
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Six Chix, 11/29/25
Big news, everybody: By the year 2045, frenchies and dachshunds will have been somehow bred to be more than six feet long, and capable of bipedalism and matchmaking to boot. What has driven mankind to take these steps, and what will the societal effects of these giant and apparently intelligent dogs walking among us be? Please, Six Chix, tell us now, I need to prepare myself for this terrifying future while I can!
Dick Tracy, 11/29/25
“Yeah, so, for the criminal guy, can you use some pics of Jason Lee from the mid ’90s as reference? Just pick whatever name you think makes sense for him.”
Mother Goose and Grimm, 11/29/25
Ah, man, looks like Grimm’s dead? Rest In Power Grimm, 1984-2015, you were one of the title characters of this strip so they’re probably going to have to change the name, assuming they keep running it.
24 replies to “Adopt, don’t shop (for horrifying nightmare beasts)”
Whaddayou mean, Jason Lee? My name is Earl!
DT: Okay, I had him pegged as Jason Lee even before reading the dialogue balloon. “Oh, so on the last weekend of Movember they arrested its patron saint Earl, did they?…Holy crap, they actually did? That’s kinda messed up.”
Dick Tracy-Looks more like Jason Lee from his ‘My Name is Earl” days than his “Mallrats” days.
FC-“And not when you’re hurling whiskey bottles at me.”
MW-“But Ian was gone for all those weeks and there was no way I could get in touch with him.”
MW-And cue the dream sequence.
Today’s Six Chix could be a prequel for Slylock Fox.
Dick Tracy-Did Jason Lee give permission for any of this?
Chix (sic): Wait. Anthropomorphic dogs are the owners and people are their pets and subject to selective breeding?
Piro’s nightmarish vision of the future makes Orwell’s 1984 look like Shangri-La.
Dick Tracy-“We wanted to get Brandon Lee but he wouldn’t return our calls.”
And the Dick Tracy team didn’t even mention he had very small genitals in an attempt to keep Jason Lee from suing for misappropriation of his likeness and defamation of character…
@Liam: too soon?
Between Friends : You’re being love-bombed, you naïve idiot.
(Now, from what I know about love-bombing, based on where I first learned about it, eventually Blonde Friend is going to be coerced into feeding a demonic statue shovelfuls of gravel)
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Dick Tracy : Is the bad guy in the third panel calling him “F*** Tracy”, or is he calling him his actual name, just from his tone you can tell he means the word “Dick” as profanity?
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Dustin : He’s not being charitable, he’s passive-agressively fighting with you because you said he was entirely, annonyingly negative the entire night, and he’s all “NUH-UH I LIKED SOME OF IT!”
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Hagar the Horrible : doesn’t know that Lucky Eddie’s menagerie is also his harem.
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Luann : Okay, this is DEFINITELY a case of “Though Mom did most of the work, Grandma got all the credit, because the Father-Daughter duo, having never lifted a finger to help, never noticed or cared”
Yeah, I’m doubling down on this, because I’m not accusing ONLY the fictional Father-Daughter duo, I’m accusing both*************
Mother Goose and Grimm : actually, Grimm is fine, it’s just that he checked “cravings of human flesh and/or brains” and “loss of higher brain functions” on the symptoms list, because, according to him, “well it’s not untrue!”
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Six Chix :
a) It’s okay, if you’re drawing human-sized bipedal dogs, you can cheat and give them human limbs, saturday chix.
b) So, 2045 is the start date of the Animalocalypse, and it begins with pets deciding to reverse who is the “parent” and who is the “cute baby”. “This is my boyfriend” is a VERY EUPHEMISTIC way of saying “these two dogs forcibly adopted me and now I’ll be living in a tiny shed in their backyard
*for the rest of either my life or theirs”*which, according the comic strip Luann, isn’t THAT much of a humiliating circumstanceB. Bailey: Guy riding toy car comes upon Camp Swampy and actor playing the mythical Beetle Bailey.
“Yeah, this part of the theme park sucks”
SCx: You know, I have to give a little credit here: a lesser strip would have imagined some futuristic scenario where humans are assigned romantic partners by cyborgs using psycho-biometric deep learning algorithms instead of …dogs. It’s almost as if they’re imagining a Dune like scenario when society has gone through a Bulterian Jihad against technology, only instead of replacing it with magic space dust, we’ve replaced it with…dogs.
DT: Wow, the censors are really clamping down on the comics page: they won’t even let them use the titular character’s first name anymore.
MGG: Wait a minute, Grimm: did you read the results or the AI summary? You can’t just read the summary. The last time I asked if I had strep it told me i had Paris Syndrome.
(Also, Josh, are you saying that Grimm in fact died 10 years ago and has been putrefying ever since? I mean, I guess that is a pretty unnatural colour for a dog…)
The lettering in this Mother Goose and Grimm is unsettling. Looks like, though they usually hand-letter the dialogue, they’re using a font today.
Marvin: While his parents are sick in bed, Marvin is allowed to roam around the house unattended? Presumably, free to use kitchen appliances or his father’s power tools? He’ll either kill himself, his parents, or both which, all things considered, is a win-win for every party involved, audience included. I’ll allow it.
Pluggers: And Pluggers wonder why they can’t fit through the bathroom door.
@10 Anonymous: on Hägar the Horrible: Lucky Eddie’s aquarium is his harem.
Six Chix-What Marmaduke has joined together no man may tear asunder.
Crankshaft has read Moby Dick, but learned all the wrong lessons from it.
GT: Kit Mills is doing a good job with the art, just in time for the writer to confuse Milford and VT.
Gasoline Alley: “Hey, this guy with the fancy car prays? Mebbe he’s a good fellow after all!”
Blondie: Dagwood was doing ASMR since radios had tubes.
Beetle Bailey is on guard duty again. Camp Swampy is defended by the best thing imaginable: Every threat, foreign and domestic, knows it’s not worth conquering.
RMMD: Augie is wooing her with words, in a way we didn’t expect.
H&L: “When was the last time we went to a movie together?” From the sound of it, when it was cheap enough to take a family of five to the theater on the spur of the moment.
6C: The freaky show dogs are getting their revenge. This woman may find her dog-mediated pairing cute, but let’s see how she feels a few generations down the line when her deeply inbred great-grandchildren all have huge jowls and stumpy little legs and are about 10 inches tall.
@Liam: That’s exactly what I thought when I saw this. Especially since they are clearly setting up this drug mule for a horrible, gruesome death at the hands of Bozo* because why else would they plaster his face all over the TV if it wasn’t to flush Bozo out of hiding? Because, as we all know, criminals cannot resist exposing themselves to arrest (and their own gruesome deaths) out of sheer, petty spite.
I wouldn’t have thought a lawsuit from Jason Lee of all people would bring down the Dick Tracy strip, yet here we are.
Luann: The Evansii must live in the largest glass house in the world.
MW: Well, since you clearly now live in Scarlett Johannsen’ inky void from ‘Under the Skin’, I don’t think you have to worry about Ian anymore.
RMMD: Yup, that’s all it takes to make this situation all better. The book is just ‘really good’. Take Blondie’s word for it, folks, because we’re clearly almost to the end of this storyline and it’s too late to make any real drama out of it. No time to tell the audience what the book actually says!
*Can we drop the backwards name pretense, already? Even Chester Gould himself realized he’d overused the trope and dropped it by 1941!
Six Chix:
Like all depicted comic strip animals, Rex and Fido here have been bowdlerized (bow-wow-wowderlized?) in the style of the Pillsbury Doughboy.
SXCHX: For true dystopia, I would’ve made the next generation quadripedal.
RMMD: “Wow, if you read more than just the title page and dedication, there’s a whole STORY. No wonder people like these book things!”
MW: Please don’t make us watch Toby dream of birthing Ian-birds.
MG&G: Well, “The Bob & Tom Show” hasn’t changed its name, even though Bob retired, like, ten years ago, so maybe not. And don’t even get me started on the Allmann Brothers Band.
Six Chix:
“We’re not sure he’s our daughter’s type. We’ve got a bone to pick with the two of you!”