Monday egg chat
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Luann, 12/1/25
Back in the ’80s, when this strip first debuted and its characters were in high school but acted like they were 12, much of its energy was put into the competition between handsome hunk Aaron Hill and awful nerd Gunther Berger for Luann’s love. This eventually ended with Aaron moving off to Hawaii and Gunther actually becoming too good for Luann, but that doesn’t mean the strip doesn’t like to return to the classics, so today, when the characters are in college but act like they’re 15, there’s a new awful nerd obsessed with our heroine, and I do appreciate that they’ve taken steps to make Alan awful in a specifically 2025 way. Like the only way “Oh, do you think there’s a problematic age gap between my belovèd and myself? Well, I’ve done my research about historical sex affairs and come up with a little factoid that proves that’s no impediment” could get more of the moment would be if Alan triumphantly showed Bernice a bunch of AI-generated erotic anime-style images of him and Luann wearing Renaissance clothing to prove his point.
Dustin, 12/1/25
I think this may be the first Dustin I’ve ever seen where Dustin’s dad tries to have a genuine moment of connection and companionship with his son. That moment will end immediately after the third panel here, because Dustin’s terrible little quip will remind his father that he’s insufferable and that’s why nobody wants to spend time with him.
Mother Goose and Grimm, 12/1/25
OK, sure, if Humpty opened up that carton and cracked open an egg in cold blood? That’s a crime, and he deserves his punishment. But if he and the victim were in that carton together? Well, you can’t blame an egg for doing what he has to do in there, in a darkness that could end at any moment or last forever, a world where it’s crack or be cracked.
66 replies to “Monday egg chat”
Dick Tracy: Of all the times Det. Tracy should “shoot first, ask questions never,” this is the time. For goodness sake, take this EVILSCARYCRIMINALSCARYCLOWN out of my misery!
Dustin:
“Let’s create a war theater where the ancient Romans are tangling with the Gauls, on their old French stomping grounds. Want to play?”
“Veni, vidi, Vichy!”
Not surprising that Dustin had just masturbated before these three panels.
Luann:
“Her cooked eggs deserve a standing ovation! Get it? — ‘ova’?; ‘ovation’?”
“Not really.”
Mother Goose and Grimm:
Humpty experiences eggsistential angst.
When an egg does a murder, isn’t it “in cold yolk”?
Luann: Bernice seems to be taking a mildly sadistic pleasure in pushing along this at the very least embarrassingly awkward situation on Luann and frankly who among us wouldn’t?
Oh dear, today I find Ed Kudlick relatable. Joining a monastery now.
Come on, Dustin, you missed the obvious comeback here. “YOU had a friend?”
Luann:
“You’re totally scrambled, Alan. Omelet this one go because you’re fried, but if I were you and I were pursuing a relationship with Luann, I wouldn’t put all my eggs in one basket!”
“Those puns of yours are absolutely terrible yolks, Bernice!”
Luann ‘Poached’? Jesus, the raw flirting energy is off the charts…
Dustin Sure, it’s all fun until the game is over and the loser is strapped to a chariot and paraded around the kitchen in a ritual Triumph.
MGG C’mon officer: he was trying to put them back together again! Unless the crime is corpse desecration? Hmmm, yeah, probably, now that I think of it.
MG&G: It took a hard-boiled copper to crack the case. Humpty will have to scramble to whip up an explanation to exonerate himself.
Mother Goose and Grimm:
“At the risk of being overly homonymic, Humpty, it appears that both you and I have cracked the case!”
MW: No surprise that Ian would like his birds how he likes his women: silent, subservient and stupid.
RMMD: I hate to beat a boring horse, but seriously, is this Summer’s first-ever book?
MG&G: It’s about time something was done about this rampant ovicide. I witnessed it the last time I bought eggs and it was crushing.
FC: “Whatever you do, do it carefully. Those antique toys are worth a fortune.”
RMMD: Sheesh Augie Doggy Ding Dong Daddy, Blondie just got here. No need to bum rush her back out the door so soon! ‘YeahyeahsuresurebooksgoodIknowsorrygotthingstodopaperstogradeg’byeg’bye!’
JP: ‘Gran’pa’s drunk himself under the table again, right Gran’ma?’
Dustin – Ed is no doubt jealous after hearing his spawn say, “I came.”
Mother Goose and Grimm: Truly, Dumpty’s greatest crime was that unibrow…that he drew on himself?
Also Mother Goose and Grimm: “Listen, Officer, we were doing Ovarian Underground’s ‘Dumpty Dance,’ and I’ll admit things kinda got out of hand…”
MGG: We all know that all the King’s horses and all the King’s men could never put Humpty together again. But what this strip suggests to me is that the brutality of one of the King’s men might have been what broke Humpty in the first place.
Fudge Packer – I’ve never made sense of this strip even after years of reading it, but is it to be assumed that Grandpa is schnockered?
Zits I guess Jeremy technically fits into the very end of Gen Z, but he should have more in common with Gen Alpha.
Luann: The Big Bang Theory was a popular television comedy that aired on CBS from 2007-2019. It’s nice to see it’s in reruns.
Dustin: Bah. May they all die of Caesar’s Legionnaires Disease.
@I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV: Dustin? Dustinian? I’m assuming the rules are complicated, but 58’s a bit early to call them Byzantine.
I knew Henry II’s wife, Eleanor of Aquitaine, was older than he was, but I had no idea that he had an even older mistress. Really had a thing for the cougars, didn’t he?
Repeating a post I made late yesterday, and begging for indulgence— Nathan Rabin, who some of you will remember for his brilliant “The Unbearable Horniness of 9 Chickweed Lane” is in the hospital after a serious accident. There’s a GoFundMe, to which Josh has already made a generous donation, and others might want to Google “Maloon and Rabin GoFundMe.”
Returning to snark: Dare we hope that this Dustin storyline will end with Ed asking Dustsis to hold his sword so he can fall on it?
MG&G: I thought the broken eggs were in a baby carriage, not a giant egg carton, but I like your interpretation because of the way it won’t give me nightmares.
Phantom: Colonel Chandelier had to go all the way the the San Fernando valley to recruit these two. Grody to the max.
Current DT episode: Fan service for all us gearheads and clown lovers.
Tracy: “Ozob the clown is the greatest of all car murderers. Go and see him.”
Ozob: “Detective Tracy….I AM OZOB.”
RMMD: ”She’s about 20% Dolly Parton. If you know what I mean.”
JP: Katherine stayed sober for the drop off. What a good gramma! Now she needs to power-drink for an hour to reach blackout stage along with the Judge.
From the police blotter: Further investigation into the shocking murder revealed that Humpty is an alias for notorious serial killer Sam O’Nella, responsible for turning whole families into quiches and frittatas.
MG&G: We see these occasional departures where the strip explores the lives of popular nursery rhyme characters. Is the titular Mother Goose telling these stories to entertain children? Or, since we’ve never seen her with any kids, does she make these stories up to ward off children? Probably the latter, right?
Dustin: Look, maybe the Dustin team have read that boardgames are back in fashion, but trust me: someone of Dustin’s generation would never play an “Ameritrash” boardgame. Hours of dense, violent game play themed around real historical wars? No, that’s not the Dustin we know and love. Like any Millennial/Gen-Z nerd, he’s a Eurogamer through and through. For him, it’s just not a board game unless it’s about peacefully building a bird sanctuary or a railroad or a galactic empire out of small wooden cubes.
JP “Don’t bother your drunk grandpa, kid, go find your toys while I talk with Neddy about what a great idea it is to bring you back here for the Christmas holidays!”
Maybe if Katharine is delusional enough to want Charlotte with them because Alan will have to pull himself together (unlike before! it’s different with the holidays!), we can end up with an actual legal issue in this strip as Neddy brings in CPS and tries to get designated guardian status to keep Charlotte out of this mess.
GT It’s back to the bad art… but are Keri and Inma – both athletes! – actually vaping??
Didn’t the early Luann stories have her rejecting Gunther’s mooning over her while she was crushing on Aaron? The only competition between the two boys was over which one would wear out the unrequited-love trope the quickest.
Wrecks Moregone:
“She’s based on you, only she’s smart, beautiful, not boring, and funny. Also she’s willing to sleep with the man she’s dating. Apart from that she’s totally you.”
_______________________________
Wary Morth:
“I was ambushed in my own home by a screaming, violent, wild creature!”
“Sunny thought you were an intruder!”
“I wasn’t talking about him.”
Dustin – There’s no coming back from that joke. Steve Kelley and Jeff Parker have crossed the Rubicon.
Lockhorns—“Thank you” is the last things I say to self serve stations as it nags me with SSS: Move scanned item to bagging area
Me: Seriously? Like I don’t know that?
SSS: Scan all items before moving to bagging area
Me: Shut up!
SSS: Scan next item
Me: I’m trying dammit! Which side is the bar code on!
SSS: Scan all items before moving to bagging area
Me: I did! Can I help it if it’s too light to detect???
SSS: Please wait help is on the way
Me: Seriously??? Quit embarrassing me! Turn off that blinking light! You piece of shit!
JP: “Grandma, why is Grandpa lying in that wooden box surrounded by candles?”
“Oh, it’s nothing but just make sure you and Neddy leave before it gets dark.”
Thanks a lot, Luanne. Now I’m going to be spending the rest of my day wondering how you can screw up boiling an egg so bad that you can tell the difference between yours and someone else’s.
***
Dustin’s dad is being nice to him? No, no, this isn’t right. This isn’t right at all. Get out of there, Dustin, go hide out in a fern bar for a couple of days until whatever this is blows over.
***
Being a sentient egg must be a nightmare, knowing that if everything goes right you’ll die as a new life ends yours as it breaks through you from the inside, but if everything goes wrong you can be boiled alive or smashed against someone’s house as a “prank”. Imagine dying because someone didn’t have the right candy for Halloween.
@Victor Von: Sometimes not even Nursery Rhymes. One comic, that I remember from yesterday had Pop the Rice Krispies Elf crushed by a falling safe.
Detective: First Snap, Crackle and now Pop. Looks like we have a Cereal Killer on our hands.
With Grimmy to the side watching, to remind us what comic we’re reading.
So eggs have eggs have egg sex in the cartons?And Humpty got a little rough with this cop’s cheating egg wife? Please complete the story, Uncle Josh!
So do eggs have egg sex in the cartons?And Humpty got a little rough with this cop’s cheating egg wife? Please complete the story, Uncle Josh!
DtM: As he inserts the needle into his scarred arm, adult Dennis hopes the heroin will relive the anguish of his memories of constantly shit-talking his late mother.
Dustup — Curse you, DustDad! I actually owned and played that game as a kid. There’s no power on heaven or earth that could entice me to go search for it in the basement now that your foul sausage fingers are touching it.
Slylock Fox-Slylock suspects the two of them did more than just “posing”.
MW-Yeah why didn’t you tell Ian, Toby?
FC-Be careful of those marbles, Billy. You don’t want to lose your marbles.
@Ukulele Ike: Phantom: The Dollar General Indiana Jones twins.
MW: Sunny reacts negatively to bloviating pompousity.
Luann – You can’t make omelet news without breaking some egg news.
Luann: Alan, definitely wait. About 23 or 24 is when you start your prime cougar bait phase. Um…or so people tell me.
SFx: “Splendor Diamond”? Is that what the Marital Industrial Complex is calling cubic zirconia this year?
Don Abundio, translated:
“So that was a sampling of food truck cuisine. Isn’t it a fascinating trend?”
“Does it include dessert, Lady Veronica?”
“Of course!”
“The best food truck of all!”
[On truck: ICE CREAM]
FG: So they’re using they/them pronouns to refer to Bones?
Wow, so many egg puns this morning. How long have y’all been sitting on them?
Dammit, now I’m doing it.
@matt w: Same; today I realized I have something in common with that wretch, even though I got rid of most of my ‘old board wargames.’ Anyway, I’m going to walk into the sea now.
9CL: News flash to all the nobodies of the world, being parents means you can’t have sex in the hallway any more. Trikes? I doubt very much that either Amos or Edda can fix their trikes.
[Cathy voice] AAACCCK! Once again I didn’t notice I was on the float. Belated thanks, Josh.
I have to hand it to today’s Dustin…that pun in the last panel was actually pretty clever.
“Yer gonna fry for this, Dumpty. You’re been arrested for poaching, illegally breaking scrambled cable channels, and consorting with the devil. A hard-boiled criminal like you isn’t getting mercy. Yeah, you’re in a real pickle this time, big guy.”
Between Friends : Calling it, Blonde Friend is being love-bombed to be tricked by the classic “Well, since you’re at the office already, why not get started early?”
I’m ready to be completely wrong about this, it’s just THAT’s where my mind goes to. “We have a friendly get together before work starts, so I need to arrive 1 hour early”, come on.**************
Dustin : I like how Dustin’s wordplay is in apparté, a sign that’s a late addition by the editor realising there’s no joke today.
Also, there’s a non-zero chance this is leading up to a storyline with the message of “Even if gainfully employed and with girlfriends, nerds who like tabletop games are bigger losers than Dustin because they’re nerds who like tabletop games”. But I’m not betting that’s where this is going (just as likely this is an inexplicable one-off).
**************
Luann : Ugh, I had HOPED that Bernice had actually quit her psychology class because Alan had frightened her away, because *I* didn’t want to see him again either!
*************
Mary Worth : “Toby, I was ambushed in my own home by a screaming, violent, wild creature!”
a) Wait, Ian Cameron was attacked by an evil duplicate of himself? Why aren’t we following up on that?
b) That’s not a nice way to refer to Toby, Ian.
c) I’ve been interpreting the “caption boxes instead of speech bubbles” as indicating that Sunny’s cries are ADR-ed in, which gives me the mental image that Sunny is actually being tame and docile, but bad sfx and Ian’s over(re)acting is trying to sell us on the supposed hostility on display.
Dustin: I can only assume this momentary demonstration of warm behavior between Dustin and his father is merely a setup for a display of competitive cruelty and bad sportsmanship that makes the average game of Monopoly look like a polite disagreement.
Luann: I’m not sure if there’s ever a right time to have an underage character arguing for a relationship with someone significantly older than them because “they did it in the old days and besides I’m so mature I’m basically an adult, right?”, but the headlines of the past few weeks make this an especially wrong time for it.
@Unca Bob: My Aunt always said she wanted a “YOU’RE WELCOME” light on her car that she could flash when automatic toll booths light up “THANK YOU’.
MG&G: Or maybe we’ll just skip the paperwork and end it right here with a painless little “fall”.
C’shaft: Can you really make it to the final round of a tournament without being aware of it?
JP: “Is Grandpa the drinking type of not feeling well today, or the crystal meth type?”
MW: Ian was hoping to be ambushed by a screaming, violent, wild creature when he came home, but this wasn’t exactly what he had in mind.
RMMD: So exploiting someone else’s trauma for personal gain is okay as long as you make them look good in the process, I guess?
MW: So, let me get this straight. Toby didn’t tell Ian in advance about Sunny and THAT is supposed to explain why Sunny thought Ian was an intruder? Wouldn’t this make more logical sense if Toby had told Sunny about IAN in advance? “My husband is coming back. You haven’t met him yet, but you’ll recognize him by his chinbeard and also by the fact that he’s a pompous, bloviating ass. He lives here. Just a heads up.”
Dustin: It’s going to flounder when they realize that ain’t nobody got time for 80s Avalon Hill war game stuff. They’re going to try to read the setup rules and quit before they get 10% done.
Luann – So…Doogie Howser has taken a shine to our gal Luann. He needs a bit more time to accept he’s gay….
Dustin – I came, I saw, I mopped it up with TP and flushed it….
MG&G – Yer a bad egg, Dumpty – long past your best used before date….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
Dustin: I call foul. There’s no way Dustdad would use the politically correct BCE/ACE system of historical dating. The plugger in him would still cling to the BC/AD system and if the wokers don’t like it they can suck his dick.
On a serious note the new system of BCE/ACE was developed because the old system was felt to be Christian-centered. But they still use the birth of Christ as the dividing line so what’s the point? If they wanted to be totally politically correct they should’ve gathered a bunch of the world’s most eminent historians, anthropologists, and archeologists to agree on when was the first date in history that can be accurately determined by written records (most likely in the late 4th Millenium BC). Make that the Universal Year One and date all history from there. Anything before can be dated backwards as Prehistoric Era and everything after as Historic Era. That’s my rant for the day.
Luann: It’s funny how the “age gap” between Luann and Alan did not matter at all and was not even notable (a gap of seven years means they’re probably both in their twenties still), but the instant the comic acknowledged and tried to justify it, it instantly became disgusting and creepy.