Taxes, but no death
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Pluggers and Hi and Lois, 4/15/26
Look, I actually feel strongly about this: excitement is very much not “getting [your] income tax return submitted on time.” I guess racing to complete your return could be exciting, but that’s not what’s being portrayed in today’s Pluggers. The emotion we’re seeing is instead “the satisfaction of a job well done.” Now, in Hi and Lois we’re seeing other forms of excitement around today’s big deadline: the excitement of realizing that you are definitely not going to get your taxes filed on time and you’ve moved one step closer to just failing out of polite society completely, for instance, or the excitement of seeing your neighbor and coworker screw up once again, keeping you on top as the “sensible one” in the friendship/office. But that plugger isn’t excited. He’s smug. There’s a difference!
Rex Morgan, M.D., 4/15/26
Oh, hey, were you worried that Rex Morgan, M.D., was getting kind of interesting, as Mud Mountain Murphy struggled to keep a secret? Well, don’t worry, we’re instead going to be focusing for a bit on how suspicious diner guy can’t hit his sales numbers in today’s uncertain economy. This probably won’t ever get interesting at all, and if it does, well, we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.
165 replies to “Taxes, but no death”
Pluggers:
Never one to become too bogged-down in detail, a plugger views his tax return as his first offer to the government.
RMMD:
It’s always a winning marketing strategy for guys like Lonnie to come to a business premises dressed like a stevedore when, as is apparent from “Mel” ‘s suit and tie, his company hasn’t yet embraced the concept of “workplace casual” here in 2026.
Phantom:
“Commander, sir! — don’t look now, but there’s a huge white stickie affixed to your left shoulder!”
“What the Falk!?!”
Today’s Plugger is just happy that he can still find a mailbox.
RMMD: “We’re cutting costs across the board. As you can see, we even have to settle for bootleg MacBooks where the logo is upside down.”
Damn, Thirsty. After this, it’s a real short ride to ripping the tags off of mattresses. Told his dad he should’ve hit him harder for not rewinding the VHS tapes he rented!
Phantom:
Worubu’s big boo-boo was hamstringing Dai
He should have just let her explore on the fly
He shouldn’t have tried to restrict Lu Han’s role —
You go all the way when you’re Jungle Patrol
Now, Kit was around to observe what she did
When Lu Han attacked, Chuma ran off and hid
She acted magnificently well in her role —
Democracy‘s safe, thanks to Jungle Patrol
Worubu’s displaying a world-class frown
He figures he’s due for a real dressing-down
But Ghost-Who-Walks’ instant reaction is droll —
He knows that she’s perfect for Jungle Patrol!*
*The usual props to Uncle Lumpy for inventing, and being the master of, the Phantom dialogue-as-rollicking-sea-chanty genre
“In fact, Lonnie, it’s so bad we can only order black ink pens, no more of your blue ones. I suppose I could only order blue, but I’m just not a Fancy Dan like you.”
In the world of RMMD, learning mustachioed guy’s first name is enough excitement for one day.
RMMD: “Moving on — are our taxes done yet? I’m sort of obliged by the syndicate to mention that today.”
Pluggers Granted it has been a long time since I’ve sent in an actual paper tax return, but should it fit so nicely in a little envelope like that? Or maybe CatMan simply writes “I do not recognize the authority of your False Corporatist Government” on a sheet of paper along with a scanned copy of his signed social security card.
H&L Yes the only certainties in the Walkerverse are hump and taxes (death having been denied it’s unholy denizens)
RMMD It’s amazing that this strip has managed to invent an entirely new narrative structure by removing the very idea of ‘conflict’.
That Plugger is feeling so good, he’s not gonna open the mailbox a second time to make sure his return went in. He’s gonna close that hatch and walk the fuck away. Then spend the rest of the day wondering how his glasses stay on his head.
Hi and Lois:
When one really doesn’t do anything for a living other than play golf and drink beer while collecting a paycheck, it’s not that difficult to do a tax return quickly.
H&L: Thirsty doesn’t care about taxes. He just remembered he hasn’t had his Hump Day hump yet, and he’s going to try to catch Lois before her lunch break ends.
H&L Sheesh, it takes all of a few minutes to google which eFile programs offer the 4868 for free, sign up, and submit a 6-month extension. They work in an office with no sidejobs, the withholding = your estimated taxes paid on time, no need to panic.
MW Not sure whether to be more amazed that moneyed whitebread Santa Royale has such a vibrant restaurant scene that you can get Chinese-Salad bar fusion cuisine takeout, or that anyone in Santa Royale would use those darn foreign chopsticks!
Laptop feng shui: Do (like Hi) place your laptop open on your desk, so you can see its screen and type on it. Don’t (like not-Lonnie guy) place it closed on your desk, with the part that opens facing the guy you’re brushing off.
RMMD: Does Lonnie sell weight-loss products? Trying to figure out how Mae Mae fits in. Of course, if today’s economy is forcing everyone to tighten their belts anyway, I guess weight-loss products would be unnecessary. Maybe he sells encyclopedias.
Mel. Not-Lonnie guy’s name is Mel. Is inability to remember a Rex Morgan character’s name, when you’ve just read the panel, a sign of incipient Pluggerdom or of incipient normality?
@Charterstoned: My bet on how it fits in is “unrelated blackmail.”
Despite Mary Worth‘s tendency to focus on its non-eponymous characters, you can be sure of one thing– that, occasionally, the focus character will check in with Mary Goddamn Worth herself, or she’ll check in on them. Not so with Rex Morgan, MD; I get the impression that its creators desperately want to change the name of the strip to Mud Murphy, SSM (where SSM stands for Self-Shitting Musician), or Some Guy Who Was Once Within 500 Yards of Rex Morgan, MD, and I encourage them to start filing the paperwork today.
RMMD: To misquote Rifftrax, “HI! I’m Bob Middlemanager! Which way to Business?”
@CanuckDownSouth: There was an episode of “All in the family” where they went out to a Chinese restaurant, Archie never using chopsticks before, asks for a fork. And he’s called out as a racist bigot for it…
I mean he is usually a bigot but still, I think this one can slide.
9 Snatchweed Lane – I’d like to think the censors made Brooke change “face” to “hand.”
RMMD: So, since Lonnie can’t sell enough who-knows-what to keep body and soul together, he’s going to take a side job selling juicy “Whatever Happened To” stories to the tabloid media?
Sure, that happens ALL the time.
MW: Way to lay the pathos on with a trowel! Ascot Man is even starting to tug at MY heart. (and, depending on who you ask, I may not have one)
GT: This guy makes a golf swing with the same physical grotesquerie that the “Mary Worth ” characters display when handling cell phones.
Hey, Pluggers, weren’t you gathering a wheelbarrow full of receipts just a couple days ago? And now you’re mailing in your 1040-EZ form? Can we get a little moral coherence from this comic strip, please?
Pluggers: He won’t be so smug when he notices that he’s missed the pickup time – after he’s dropped, the envelope in the box.
9CL: Why it’s necessary to ALWAYS keep bleach wipes close to the piano.
GT: So, what, that golf ball is going to sail clean out of the course and give the ICE officer we saw last week menacing the father of one of the nonconformist graffiti’ers a case of Bonkus of the Konkus?
JP: Just clout Neddy over the head with the paddle now, AnnDoris. It’s going to save you a LOT of trouble later.
@Gil Bates:
Ugh, “Mel Middlemanager” was just sitting there!
Pffft, real Pluggers have an accountant do their taxes because they can no longer see their receipts and it gets a little confusing to know if you’ve made the quarterly payments on Social Security income and how did that password get changed anyway and
Rex Morgan, M.D.: Strongly disagree that we’ve moved back to uninteresting today. Look, there’s a potted plant! And also something growing in the corner!
@The Rambling Otter: Oh, I didn’t intend to call it racist, just note it’s that solidly not-on-the-cutting-edge-of-even-decades-ago community dominated by oldsters. American Chinese food is often eaten with forks, that’s standard local culture and I would expect Santa Royale to not have enough people familiar with using chopsticks for a takeout place to bother stocking them.
Pluggers No e-filing for these folks. No, siree, Bob! “The USPS offers door-to-door service, and the price of a stamp or two these days is worth it to keep this fine institution going. I even used the missus’ good stamps – the ones with birds and flowers, and not one of those flag stamps. Not that I’m not a patriot. God Bless America! But for paying taxes, it feels like a celebration is in order!”
“But, Lonnie, don’t despair! Maybe you should consider sifting to another line of work. I’m told pig butchering scam centres are earning in the hundreds of thousands right now!”
Hi and Lois: The eternal battle between the Irish and the forces of William of Orange continues, except Thirsty seems to have defected to the Scots-Irish side? Seems awfully abstemious and invested in paying land taxes to the crown to me…
@els: They should try to poochie gambit – and have Rex die on his way back to attend his medical school reunion.
FG So pre-Ming Mongo was ruled by ineffectual monarchs who could neither prevent massacres amongst their subjects nor effectively provide justice afterwards as a deterrent for the future. Was Ming’s draconian rule at least applied to keep the peace? I’m beginning to get strong “the Empire was right” vibes here.
RMMD – “What if I dug up some dirt on a reclusive movie star? Would that get you to place an order?”
@CanuckDownSouth: It’s true, Ming does give strong “making the trains run on time” vibes.
JP: Has the strip given up on serious drama and gone the way of total satire á la Get Smart? Since when does hitting someone on the head with a wooden bat hard enough to knock them out not warrant a trip to the emergency room? What’s next? Bogdan stumbling into a pool of quicksand?
Hi is a lot happier paying his taxes than he is at the prospect of playing golf with his wife. Don’t get him wrong, he loves Lois. He just can’t stand spending time with her. Taxes? He can do those in a manly office setting without her.
***
“Lonnie… sorry. I was bullshitting you. It’s your moustache and hair style. They’re creeping everybody out. You look like you have secret cameras hidden in the ladies room. Get yourself a pompadour and a nicely curled handlebar and you’ll fit right in round these parts, then maybe we can do business again.”
@Bob Tice: The usual props to Uncle Lumpy for inventing, and being the master of, the Phantom dialogue-as-rollicking-sea-chanty genre
I always thought it was parody of Kipling. . .
FG: Are we heading towards a moment then Ming dropped all his illusions and belief in civilization and was reborn as a fear mongering despot who has signs of the dark triad?
MW: So far no mention of the money – it is keeping us on dangling waiting and hoping. By the way, most of the newer wave of Chinese restaurants in the US still offer chopsticks, but when dining in, some will offer reusable metal ones out of the same alloys as the knives, forks and spoons.
DT: These three were dumb enough to be beaten by Dick Tracy and the MCU but aren’t that dumb. Big boss is using them as cannon fodder – when (not if) they are caught or killed, that 30% (10% each) is exactly zero.
JP: Ann is thinking that Neddy clearly doesn’t get the picture. Bogdan is down and out permanently. He is sleeping the Big Sleep, and “hiding” him means a shallow grave or maybe a deep one on the property… hmmm, maybe use some of the construction gear from the barn raising?
Phantom: Let’s all sing the Jungle Patrol song! (and sweep all of the unpleasant details under the rug).
RMMD-Rex Morgan for instance is cutting back on the amount of ether he usually buys.
MW-What they really remember is cruising with their grandfather but Shannon is so clueless she thought Hrvey was talking about boating.
FC-Wear that short little black number that you like to wear to get out of tickets.
Blondie-The employees use actual rocks and scissors when playing Rock, Paper, Scissors.
Hi and Lois-“Happy Hump Day. Now I’m off to the Secretarial Pool.”
MW: Tribbles and marshmallows eaten with chopsticks. There’s normal eclectic and then there’s Mary Worth eclectic.
@But What Do I Know?:
Maybe “Uncle Lumpy” is Kipling — I mean, if my given first name were “Rudyard,” I’d probably go by “Uncle Lumpy” instead, too!
@CanuckDownSouth: Re: Mary Worth: The Hell if Mary knows, because right after this storyline ends, she heading right down to her “old familiar” and eating all the reheated fish-sticks and undercooked carp a D-list seafood shanty can make. (The fact that they’re not eating at Santa Royale’s
432ndbest restaurant around is why these folks will never be more than one-off guest characters.)MW: They’re holding the their chopsticks wrong. This may have been mentioned previously. Reminds me of the cell phone issues.
REX MORGAN M.D.: Oh come on, “Mel.”, the economy can’t be doing that badly, if companies can still pay for business trips that could have easily just been an e-mail.
@CanuckDownSouth: At least he made the magna-trains run on time.
Hi and Lois – Way to shoot Thirsty down, Hi. He was really hoping for some humping!
RMMD – It’s tough out there for a freelance hit man. Couldn’t you at least throw a little kneecap-busting work his way?
Don Abundio, translated:
“This is an experimental composition of my own…”
“How did you like it?”
“It stinks!”
“I was right, it does sound better without the philistines…”
Rex Morgan, MD has resolved to send us to a special Hell, where even the side characters who have side characters have side characters.
Pluggers: Some days, the caption of a Pluggers cartoon reads like a joke an anti-plugger comedian might tell. Today is one of those days. No, really. Say it out loud in a contemptuous tone of voice, and you’ll see what I mean.
H&L: I see this office has already replaced their old, manual Hi Flagston with the new cyborg model, the iHi. It’s capable of reciting bland, neutral facts and generic cliches. I mean, what else do you need it to do?
RMMD: I’m not so sure, Mel. You say that business is down, but you can obviously still afford one of those color-changing walls for your sad office. Those things aren’t cheap.
H&L: Oh please, like Irma trusts her drunken lout of a husband to do something as basic yet essential as file their taxes. She sent them off in February and carefully squirreled away the refund in her escape stash.
RMMD: “I’m sorry, Lonnie, but I can’t keep buying from a guy who still thinks traveling salesman is a viable career path. What do you think this is, The Music Man?”
rex morgan – who came in and painted the wall orange in panal two ?
@CanuckDownSouth: “Chopsticks are fine. They’re just inefficient.” –Ed Kudlick.
RMMD: Lonnie sells office Dieffenbachia houseplants. “Look how big and healthy it is! We can’t seem to get them to die. I’m afraid we won’t be ordering any replacements this season, sorry.”
Dustin: I’ve figured it out: the Kudliks are in No Exit Hell. Any one of them could chose to change their circumstances at any time, but they refuse out of a desire to justify themselves and/or make the others suffer. L’enfer, c’est les autres indeed.
C’shaft: Just saying, Pam, that tree would grow a lot faster if it had about two hundred and fifty pounds of organic fertilizer buried beneath it…
FG: Maybe Ming was just bitter because his boss made him dress like a C-list superhero.
JP: This whole caper is so inept I just know it’s going to end with someone being fed into a woodchipper.
Luann: Well, that explains how you wound up with Frank.
MW: With the way they’re holding their chopsticks I’m surprised the table and their clothing isn’t covered with sweet and sour sauce.
@Bob Tice: Point taken!
@CanuckDownSouth:
#36. FG: Massacre? Show me the bodies, please. Unless the survivor has super burying skills, her family and like ved ones were taken captive
If you want to do the monarchy justice, prince, take care of the survivor (build her a shanty to sleep in, get her some food, leave her a guard) and then find and free the hostages so they can rebuild.
@Hibbleton: What’s next? Bogdan stumbling into a pool of quicksand?
Not with Ann taking charge. Now if you’d said a pit of quicklime….
@treetown:
#42 PHANTOM: Ann knows if the cops are called, her parole is revoked.
MW: HH is basically the new Keith Hillend: a boring, unlikeable character with a boring, unlikeable family he has boring drama with. While Mary struts and frets her hour on the stage, and is aggressively unhelpful. How long can this story go without even referencing the central issue of the $200,000? Get on with it! Or acknowledge that it’s not that much money in light of what it must cost to live in Santa Royale, and move on. This may be the most tedious story they’ve ever done, and Mary Worth runs on tedious.
FC: Dolly should be asking if the judges wear anything under those robes or do they go commando like Thel.
JP: Anybody hit that hard on the head to be out cold that long would probably have permanent brain damage.
AC: Since the UK has a totally different tax structure Andy will spare us any lame April 15th jokes.
RMMD – So the connection to 4/15… um…Medicaid/Medicare fraud is a booming business consuming tax dollars. ‘Merica is on the grow!!!
@CanuckDownSouth: Eh, as a life-long Californian, I might expect SoCal residents to be more a little more familiar with chopsticks than residents in other parts of the U.S. of A. Eating takeout with a fork though? Yeah, that tracks.
MW:
“And I understand that your neighbors at Charterstone are excited about you, too, Dad! — apparently former resident Iris Beedie’s hub Zac has invented a video game in which an 80-something person who looks like you is chasing someone 50 years his junior!”
MW: It just occurred to me — Sharon doesn’t know about the fake girlfriend or $200K since Mary didn’t tell her. And Harv doesn’t think there’s a problem, other than that he hasn’t heard from “Trixie”. So it’s possible we’ll have another week or so of idle chit-chat before they part without Sharon learning about the scam.
Though if that happens, Mary will undoubtedly still take a victory lap because she got them to reconnect.
@CanuckDownSouth: #36: I’m getting those same vibes. Pre-Ming Mongo was like medieval France, with a weak, ineffectual monarch who ruled basically Paris and its suburbs while the rest of the country was under feudal nobles who owed the king token fealty but did whatever the hell they wanted. The way this is going we’re going to end up on Team Ming.
Pluggers: Today’s Pluggers is brought to you by the U.S. Postal Service. Remember us? You can still use us to send your grandma a birthday card, or pay your electric bill, or even file your taxes! Sure, you could do those things online more quickly and easily, but why not stick to the classics? We’re the all-American delivery system — heck, we even put some purple mountains’ majesty in the background of this cartoon. And look how happy this plugger is! Sure, he forgot to put a stamp on the envelope — so it will be returned, and he’ll end up missing the tax deadline and owing a big fine — but that’s the price you sometimes pay for using the good ol’ U.S. Mail!
Rex Morgan: “Sorry, but with the rising of beef and chicken, while customers are simultaneously looking to spend less on eating out, we just can’t see investing in a McDonald’s franchise at this time. So you may as well take your red-and-yellow-striped folder and go.”
Plugger:
Growing up in a small midwestern town, I remember my post office staying open until midnight so people could get their tax return envelope stamped on April 15th. So I guess I could be a Plugger but somehow I quit filing my taxes by mail over twenty years ago. Now I’m thinking Pluggers aren’t just old and set in their ways, they are actually kind of stupid.
GT: Lucas Martin buys his golf clubs at the Big & Tall Men’s Shoppe.
Jesus, Thirsty, just file an extension. It’s a signature, a Social Security Number, and you’ll have until October 15. You can sober up by October.
RMMD: I’m worried that the new “AI”-influenced artist (“Simon”?) isn’t going to do the signature Large Hand Gestures that Beatty did once or twice a month. I know “Simon” has had a few shots at them last week, but since J. Receding Hairline’s hands change size between panels, I’m not optimistic. I mean, we lost the Up The Nostrils perspective when Beatty took over, now we’re staring down no Big Hand Gestures. RMMD will never be the same.
@But What Do I Know?: “I always thought it was parody of Kipling. . .”
Don’t be ridiculous. Uncle Lumpy never kipples.
9CL: Erica Jong’s sequel. Fear of Flying IV: The Zipless Piano Duet.
LUANN: Nancy: “Ugh! Kids these days, thinking a “lack of interest” is an impediment for dating someone.
LUANN (2): Um…has Mama Degroot ever interacted with Piro in any way or even met him? Judging but her odd assessment of the situation, probably not. (But this is good news for Luann if she were “jealous” of the attention her mom is lavishing on Bernice, since seems like Nancy doesn’t listen too closely to her either.)
LUANN: Also got to give it up for the “Ms. Magazine’s panel of the year” recipient here for have a mother figure chastise a young women for focusing on her studies over giggling about boys. You know Nancy maybe if you prioritized your education way back when, you’d be able to do you own bookkeeping instead of hoping upon hope that your daughter’s tightly-wound, sexually-frustrated friend has nothing better to do.
@Banana Jr. 6000: re: MW: The $200,000 is the MacGuffin, like the $40,000 in Psycho. After the shower scene, who remembers the $40,000? ….and who’s that woman buried out in Greenlawn cemetery?
Pluggers:
As Josh has previously noted, cat-man Claude Manx is often used for activities that aren’t quite Plugger-y enough. Cheerfully paying your taxes definitely qualifies.
GT: SMAK! Sealed Minus A Kiss.
@Situation Normal: “Work ’em like a claw,” whispers Randy Parker. “Oh and you can hold chopsticks like that too.”
@2+2=7:
On Point 2 : Choose one :
a) Of course Mama DeGroot knows who Piro is! He’s that guy that went after Luann when she told the entire town about the time she electrocuted her gonads, where HE told the entire town about his “family drama”. But it’s a secret he only ever confided to Bernice so SSSSHHHHH!
b) Mama DeGroot doesn’t know who Piro is, she doesn’t even know he’s Tara’s cousin, she doesn’t even know who TARA is, even though Tara lived inside her house for a while, then inside the Fuze, and the whole “police had to be called because a crime occured on the premises” part, she also unaware of THAT.
************
On Point 3 : These are Karen’s self-inserts talking to one another here; she’s wishing someone had told her to act on her hormones as soon as possible, because as things played out, she ended up with Nancy’s age, but Bernice life path : never ended up with anyone, fired from her position in school management, ended up having to become Luann’s father unofficial accountant…
…Too far?… And by that, I mean; am I wrong? Is Karen Evans actually married and with kids and I didn’t know?…Sex Organ VD: Will Me!Me! teach Sonny Bono how to tell Mel to “Kiss my grits!”?
Look, Lonnie, the Traveling Salesman Problem might be a classic topic in Computer Science, but frankly it’s not my problem and I really don’t care what you need to do to minimize the mileage on your car to help make ends meet.
Hi And Lois: I feel like there’s an unseen third panel where Thirsty snaps and breaks Hi’s skull open with his own laptop after that ‘downhill’ stab.
Rex Morgan: I would usually guess what they’re going for is that Weird Guy is going to be desperate for money, so he’ll leak Mae-Mae’s identity and location to the papparazzi for a quick payday. I say this because it’s the only thing that feels like a logical, interesting progression of the story, but this is Rex Morgan which generally avoids logic and interest like the plague. It’s thus more likely that Weird Guy will just spend another three weeks thinking to himself about how he swears he recognizes Mae-Mae but can’t be sure before ultimately deciding that it’s none of his business.
Mary Worth: This storyline is quickly becoming one of the great demonstrations of everything that makes Mary Worth as a series so insidious to me. Like, we were introduced to this whole situation like it would be a story about a man enslaved by traffickers to run a scam, maybe even getting a bit PSA about it. Instead, it’s becoming apparent that all of that was just setup for a power fantasy catering to the strip’s target audience of bigoted, isolated puritans who have driven away all their loved ones with their shitty behavior; imagining the relatives they’ve alienated will randomly decide to come back without expecting anything in return and tell them that they were actually in the right all along.
The final punch really is the Chinese takeout for me. I’ve observed before how freaky it is that Mary Worth in the Moy years at least has been almost totally devoid of any minorities of any kind. And this storyline is the zenith of that weird, implicit racism. Even though the plot Moy is going for pretty much requires someone who is not white or at least isn’t American, the stock Foreign Telemarketer Scammer is a blonde white guy who may very well be in the States. And while the characters may be eating Chinese food, we have not and will never see the presumably Asian people who made it.
Charterstone is a Truman Show-esque parody of everything awful about nuclear family white suburbia as was pushed by the government for decades. Only it’s played totally straight and Moy clearly thinks that this is how the nation SHOULD be, with anyone who thinks otherwise being a naive child in need of teaching at best, a depraved pervert at worst. Hell, it even LOOKS like the real life town Truman Show was filmed in, which was used as the filming location expressly because it’s an infamously creepy and insular gated community of that sort where anyone who isn’t a miserable, hyper-conformist and ascetic white liberal is not welcome.
I can really see why Mary Worth is, in many ways, one of the centerpieces of this blog. It’s all the worst newspaper comics rolled into one and than some.
RMMD- Mel’s gonna go to the No-Tell Mo-tel cafe, recognize MuMu, and she’s gonna tell him to kiss her grits!
RMMD: Whatever random business Suspicious Diner Guy works in, Bossman should be more motivating.
Why not kick him in the pants like J. C. Dithers and Dagwood?
Slylock Fox: None differ. They all suck the same, as bouncing the ball to your own side of the table is not how Ping-Pong works.
BG&SS: There’s a gag to be had for the sheriff to arrest Barney for painting without an artistic license. Good thing they avoided it.
DtM: A less honest plumber would leave Dennis in there with all the wrenches. I’d certainly be tempted.
@Ken: @Banana Jr. 6000: It does bolster my theory that this “family reunification” was the actual plot of this arc, and the pig-butcher scam stuff was shoehorned in at the last minute in a clumsy, awkward stab at “relevance.” (Moy: “Some of you Philistines think Mary Worth isn’t hip and with-it. How dare you?! Well, I’ll show you dumb bastards that we are totally “down” with all the trendy social issues that me and June saw once on Newsweek com. Ya dig?!”)
@CanuckDownSouth: Very true! Everyone in Mary Worth is practically a Plugger anyway xD
Blondie The Neighborhood Bumstead: “……and then the Boss throws in Lizard,Spock from out of nowhere and I need to apply for workers comp!”
RMMD- Bye the way, don’t most budget hotels, even Holiday Inn, just have like a continental breakfast? Rubbery eggs, burnt bacon, Lumpy gravy on stale biscuits, that waffle machine that always seems to be “out of order”?
@Anonymous: re: The Long, Unhappy Life of Karen Evans: You paint a bleak picture, but it could have been much worse. Karen could have paid a Sorbonne tuition to become a puppeteer.
Brooke: “Where’s Nicky this morning?”
Missus Brooke: “In the kitchen, eating a bowl of Cap’n Crunch, reading the want ads, and crying.”
@Ukulele Ike: @2+2=7: Your interpretations would explain a lot. But good lord, how out-of-touch can Karen Moy be? “Yeah, let’s just tack white slavery and a six-figure financial loss onto a story about what’s really important: elderly people reuiniting with their descendants!” This isn’t just awful – it’s sick. Never mind the fact that HH’s descendants might have good reasons for not wanting to be around him.
Luann-“Yeah. Your husband mentioned that you give lousy head.”
RMMD: my guess is Lonnie will realize Mae Mae is in fact a movie star and will be able to a picture, which will sell for a fortune and a large fortune if she’s not wearing any underwear.
@ectojazzmage: Moy is an Asian-American herself, isn’t she?
Wouldn’t it be fun to wake up tomorrow morning, turn to the funny pages, and find everyone in Santa Royale has mysteriously turned Japanese? I really think so.
@Activist: She has no reason to care for a brokered solution, there’s nobody left to save. We don’t need to see every charred bone and smashed-in skull laying at the below-frame base of the broken walls in the panel, good grief.
@Ukulele Ike:
Doo doo doo doo doodoo doodoo DOOOOO!
@2+2=7:
Newsweek.com in 2007, to be precise
The Schlockhornies go to an IRS location to pay their taxes, does this concern or oppose their designation as Millionials?
Pluggers: This strip is known for reversing itself on just what a Plugger is, but “Pluggers are boring” seems likely to stand, regardless of what time of year it is.
RMMD: Tasteful is one of the region’s top distributors of tasteful framed pictures of clouds, but sad to say, this pencilneck has chosen to stop at one for now.
Honest question: does any American in real life still wait until the last minute of April 15th to file anymore? Most people I know filed back in February or March.
@GarrisonSkunk: The Schlockhornies go to a brick and mortar IRS location to pay their taxes, does this conform or oppose their designation as Millionials? (repeated due to spell check created errors).
9CL: Congratulations, Brooke. I have to admit that this is one of those times you made me wince in pain.
C-Shaft: Credit where credit is due: The joke may be barely identifiable as such—never mind funny—but apparently some research has gone into it.
DT: If I’m decoding Mumbles right, he’s extending a hypothetical to Solly on whether he, BB Eyes, and Doubleup are deep cover law enforcement. That would be a hell of a twist, considering the fact that two of the three have been at this crime thing for 90 years.
Dustin: The Duncans from Zits could threaten Jeremy with exile to Dustin, but Dustin is already in Dustin, so how could things get any worse?
GT: Golf strips where the head of the club goes outside the panel. What a time to be alive.
JP: Ann “knows a place” to hid bodies, living and perhaps otherwise. “Like sister-in-law, like sister-in-law” is a confusing idiom, but it seems to apply here.
Phantom: They all know the corporate branding, which probably includes an official “Jingle Bells” parody as well.
6C: Who would have thought that work-from-home policies would give birth to a distaff Dagwood Bumstead? Besides everyone, I mean.
CS: Why does Ed need to collect those buckeye nuts? They’re poisonous.
Fun fact: Only squirrels can safely eat buckeye nuts. They can smell the toxic part from the edible part.
Pay no attention to @Guillermo el chiclero:, Crankshaft. I’m sure those buckeye nuts will be a tasty and satisfying snack.
I made up a budget shortfall by blackmailing a famous actress I found working in a diner, then got my legs broken by her 300-pound musician boyfriend — here’s what it taught me about B2B sales.
@Artist formerly known as Ben: re: Mumbles: I first translated that as “What if we were fuzz?” also, but from the context I revised to “What if we refuse?”
I mean, the slang would be way off. Mumbles debuted in the 1940s, not the late 60s. And his original speech was so incomprehensible that Gould needed to translate literally everything he said. I bet Chaz got REAL tired of that after a few weeks.
@Artist formerly known as Ben: In an alternate reality, we would have the comic strip “Blandie” starring Blandie’s wife Dagweena.
@Ukulele Ike: SHE IS?????
9CL: Palm up or down?
@Ukulele Ike: On your first suggestion: “What if we were fuzz?”
Mumbles either wants to get out of crime and become a Cop.
Or he’s contemplating on “what if we embraced Furry culture”?
The streaming channel Tubi has been airing Hamlet.
Although other streaming sites have as well.
Tubi or not Tubi?
@ectojazzmage: Looks like it.
@The Rambling Otter: In this reality, we have MAD magazine often parodying Blondie with the “Blandie” name.
@The Rambling Otter:
Which Hamlet?
@Ukulele Ike: Ah, that does make more sense, especially in the light of Solly’s reply. Of course, why refuse when you can take the job with a tacit option to double cross the boss if the opportunity arises?
@I was told there would be no permanent record.: I used to live across the street from the P.O. and every Tax Day deadline cars would line up on the street where the outside mailboxes stood. Sometimes there would be snacks and coffee available to the late filers as they filed by. Alas, not any more.
FG: Young Ming must’ve pumped a lot of iron. He’s got a pretty impressive set of guns. No wonder he prefers to go sleeveless.
@113 The Rambling Otter: GROAN!
@Guillermo el chiclero: Huh. I would say that Young Punk Ming looks kind of spindly and pale. Definitely giving off a Steerpike vibe, the antihero/antagonist of Mervyn Peake’s Gormenghast books. Although the mask adds a touch of Carl Barks’s Beagle Boys.
@Garrison Skunk: re HtH: Whatta week for Skunks! First that photo op in the Sunday Mark Trail, now the featured “punchline player” in Hagar the Horrible! A great job conveying suspense and anticipation! You know, any journeyman Skunk actor can pull off the straightforward “shoot and spray” but the real talent is in the set-up. And that sly grin says it all!
MW: Well, we seem to have had a “misunderstanding” with The Ladies about plot direction. They have chosen to stay with this insipid “family drama” after things were clearly wrapped up. Muffin was ready to resume her role as Mary’s
familiarconfidant and soulmate, and is now frustrated by the delay. We learned she was trying to pick up unauthorized ‘nip in the alley, and have had to tie a bell around her neck to keep her “under observation.” I don’t know where this can lead unless she gets back on panel soon…@treetown: @els: They should try to poochie gambit – and have Rex die on his way back to attend his medical school reunion.
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Rex went to medical school?!?
@Guillermo el chiclero:
Is it a traceable poison? Ed might be planning to kill someone.
@Liam: 87% of Ohio homicides are traced back to buckeye toxins.
Late Thread Cuisine: No more cookies. How about a pizza?
@Baja Gaijin: I’ve had “macaroni pizza”, “thai peanut chicken” pizza, and “loaded baked potato” pizza (as well as NorAm and Italian standard ones), “bacon and eggs” pizza, sure, why not?
@Artist formerly known as Ben:
Oh, God, Zits kid and Dustin in the same universe would create a rupture that consumed Gozer
The gas station across the way from work does breakfast pizza, perhaps a similar concept here? It looks great!
@Liam:
Luann-“Yeah. Your husband mentioned that you give lousy head.”
Even “lousy head” is pretty good.
@A Grave Mind: Try their sushi!
@Liam: #124: Nah, there’s this confection sold in Ohio called a buckeye. It’s a ball of peanut butter dipped in chocolate so it resembles the nut. It tastes like a Reese’s peanut butter cup. Ed is so stupid he probably thinks the candy grows on buckeye trees.
Despite being the Buckeye State the trees are now quite rare in Ohio, found mostly in public parks, the state capitol grounds, and the campus of Ohio State. The early settlers cut most of them down because they got tired of their horses and cattle dying from eating them.
If you physically mail your physical tax return in a physical mail box, you’re a Plugger if you stand there jiggling the letter lever far more than you jiggle the toilet handle.
@Hibbleton: Luann-“Yeah. Your husband mentioned that you give lousy head.”
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“Your head was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO lousy!” ” How lousy was it? It was so lousy it had dandruff!”-Luann demention Johnny Carson and Ed McMahon.
@A Grave Mind: Gozer would welcome the sweet release.
RMMD — One can always hope for someone to fall to a Death of a Salesman-type dementia.
GA: hope Meow Meow is one of Sid’s clients because she seems to be enjoying performing today as we are watching her. While Walt’s refusal to take meds is serious, Meow’s tail adorning his head lightens the mood. Brilliant move!
I hope “Muffin” also gets a chance at comedy.
@Anonymous:
#82. LUANN: I read Karen is married with kids, BUT WHO CARES! We older singletons may or may not have kids or cats, but we all have full, worthwhile lives . Do you have a problem with single older men? (Grrrr)
@Activist:
You know what? You might be right. I was probably wrong on Karen’s marital status, and am definitely wrong on equating it with success in life (I’m a singleton myself!).
I guess I *did* go too far implying that the turn Luann had taken towards being more horny recently was fueled by a woman in her fifties going “Why was I ever that much into abstinence, how could I not see the fact that I’d miss my hormones once they were gone coming? I wish I could go back in time and tell young me to treasure her hormones and horniness while she still had them!”…
@2+2=7: Well, I’ll show you dumb bastards that we are totally “down” with all the trendy social issues that me and June saw once on Newsweek com. Ya dig?!”
Fo shizzle.
@Banana Jr. 6000: Never mind the fact that HH’s descendants might have good reasons for not wanting to be around him.
Misread this as HtH, but your remarks remain pertinent in Hagar’s universe too.
@Anonymous:
#139. Thanks for the explanation– single people rock! Of necessity we need to be strong, self-motivated, resilient. Unfortunately, I’ve also been showing traits of self-righteous stubbornness lately. And been judgmental too, so please call me out as well. Thanks.
@Ukulele Ike: Wouldn’t it be fun to wake up tomorrow morning, turn to the funny pages, and find everyone in Santa Royale has mysteriously turned Japanese? I really think so.
Got the reference!
@ectojazzmage: SHE IS?????
Does that change anything in your view?
@Ukulele Ike: “What if we were fuzz?”
“What if we were picked up by the fuzz?”
“Better than letting someone grab you by the dick and swing you around and around.”
@Ukulele Ike: Looks like it.
Minus the hairstyle we’re getting a real Zippy the Pinhead vibe from that mugshot.
MT — Last Sunday, MT had a nicely-drawn interesting strip about American badgers, which are among the most totally-wonderful mammals on Planet Earth in my unbiased opinion. Even if I didn’t like badgers so much, I would have enjoyed that strip. But starting Monday, we were back to the story about land and development in Nevada, which is apparently a state in which the usual rules of land ownership, zoning, and development, as I have always understood them, do not apply. I wouldn’t even mind so much if Jules would make more of an effort to explain what’s going on, but noooooo.
At this point, I think Jules owes her faithful readers, however many of us are left, at least three solid weeks of Lucky The Young Badger, and that time should include at least a week of an adorable hunting partnership with Fortuitous The Young Coyote. C’mon, Jules, you know I’m right.
Badgers rule. They’re so cute!
@Poteet: I’ve always considered Badger’s pantry to be among the coziest interiors in literature.
@A Grave Mind: In the videogame “Tales of Vesperia” the protagonist, one of his attacks is “Azure Edge”
Yet the way he pronounces it, sounds like he’s saying “Badger Edge!”
If you mash the button enough times, causing him to attack repeatedly, you get him yelling “BADGER! BADGER! BADGER!”
@The Rambling Otter: This was meant to be replied to Poteet’s Badger comment as well, but I goofed. Sorry!
@127 CanuckDownSouth: It’s actually Teritama Chicken Pizza. Teritama chicken is “A Japanese-style dish made with rich teriyaki chicken, soft-boiled eggs, and a sauce filled with cheddar cheese.”
@129 A Grave Mind: See above. I guess it could be a breakfast pizza.
@147 Poteet: I’m all on board if the badger and coyote can somehow knock that sparkly hat off Mark’s head. I don’t care if Mark’s head flops onto the ground with the hat.
@Guillermo el chiclero:
The site Nuts.com sells mini buckeyes.
@Baja Gaijin: Eggs on pizza is amazing. We used to enjoy an upscale Italian restaurant on Chicago’s Taylor Street, where they would crack a raw egg on each quadrant of a pizza, then slam it into a blazing hot oven. The baked eggs came out beautifully sunny side up, and you would cut into the yellow and let it goosh all over your portion. There was enough heat left in the pie to turn them into jammy yolks.
@Activist: Given the way Luann is typically written I think the people who’d have the biggest “problem with it” is the Evans’ themselves. I mean this very arc has Nancy scolding Bernice for not chasing after someone who’s clearly not interested (even though Bern’s done nothing but chase after Pyro like a lovesick puppy, because Nancy’s can be as dense and dimwitted as her daughter sometimes.) This, of course<, is still "better" than "focusing on school" like a nerd, so better start enjoying being Alan’s unpaid au pair, Bernice!
@154 Ukulele Ike: Chacun à son goût and all that. The thought of a slimy egg and gooshy yolk all over my pizza makes my innards twist.
@2+2=7:
Kind of reminds me of that Johnny Bravo cartoon, where this guy was teaching Johnny how to attract women in the form of School House Rock songs (the guy was voiced by Jack Sheldon, in fact)
The advice was terrible, and all of the women that Johnny alienated, realized who was truly to blame, became an angry mob, tying the School House Rock guy to a large stake to do who-knows-what with.
DT: Solly is taking a big chance, threatening to doublecross three hardened thugs, any one of which could beat him to a pulp. Double Up alone could snap his scrawny, pencil mustached neck with one hand. With one hand.
@Sid, Agent to the Animal Stars!: @Garrison Skunk: re HtH: Whatta week for Skunks!
____________________________________________
Thanks for the great placings,Sid, I cant do it without you and your staff. Without you,I’d still be doing “Skunk On A Hot Tin Roof” in that church basement.
@GarrisonSkunk:
By the way,Sid,did you tell Bob Webber,Jr’s people I’m interested in that part we discussed in the Slylock Fox Movie?
@Ukulele Ike: You are soooo right. Just reading about it as a child made me feel safe and sleepy.
@The Rambling Otter: That would be a great general-purpose battle cry. Or a great alarm call for ground squirrels, depending.
@Baja Gaijin: Re the hat, bwahahaha!
@A Grave Mind: I suspect that is not how badgers view themselves, but yes, absolutely.
Pluggers – Pluggers are happy to pay taxes because it means the government is still functioning, at least enough to keep the Social Security checks coming and Medicare running.
Hi and Lois – Thirsty wore his special Hump Day Pumpkin Orange shirt to bring cheer to Hi, who took more joy in shooting down Thirsty’s bit. Hi knew Thirsty would forget his taxes, but chose not to remind him. Hi is not a very good friend.
Rex Morgan, MD – Lonnie’s plan is to extort Mae Mae by threatening to out her secret to the world unless she gives him a job at the Glenwood Motel cafe. Lonnie is not an ambitious extortionist.