Do you want to chew your cud all day, buddy, does that sound appealing
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Herb and Jamaal, 4/21/26
I went to grad school for history (NOTE: DO NOT DO THIS) from 1996 to 1999, which was about at the tail end of the period when it might seem reasonable for someone to be going to grad school and not own a computer. Our department had a tiny little “computer lab” for grad students that was basically a little cubby off the admin office with a couple of outdated Macs and a printer. The whole time I was going there I would often see this one guy using the computers, a heavy-set dude with a shaggy beard and thick glasses who would never talk to anyone else and always be typing away furiously, which was normal enough grad student appearance/behavior/vibes that I never thought much of it, except to notice that I never saw anyone else using the lab. Anyway, one day, not long before I finally left the program in disgrace and relief, I noticed that he had left some printed pages behind, and I picked them up to finally figure out what his specialization was in the department, only to discover that what he was writing was in fact no-paragraph-breaks all-caps paranoid ideation. The question that immediately occurred to me: Did a genuinely crazy person somehow figure out that our computer lab was never used and that nobody would question him if he came in to type up his little manifestos? Or had he at one point been a normal (“normal”) grad student who was driven mad by academia, in a turn that validated my decision to quit?
Anyway, just thought of this little episode as I read today’s Herb and Jamaal. When I told my stepmother my story, she asked “Did you, uh, tell anyone? Because he might be dangerous?” And I was like “Nope! Ha ha! Not my business!” But I can see that Herb is taking his responsibilities a little more seriously than I did.
Pluggers, 4/21/26
It’s kind of interesting that there are no plugger cows, right? I sort of thought that maybe it’s because their society is tilted towards predators and aggressive herbivores like Rhino-Man, but maybe it’s actually because plugger envy of the gentle bovine’s digestive prowess has led to cows being pushed out of their society.
Dick Tracy, 4/21/26
“What with them all being freaks of nature with weird skull shapes and all. They’re easy for us to spot and catch! Hey, you ever think there might be a bunch of normal-looking criminals getting away with stuff around here because we don’t really notice them?”
Heathcliff, 4/21/26
What do you think goes on at the nightclub for frogs named after their main prey animal? Probably some real fucked-up shit, right?
93 replies to “Do you want to chew your cud all day, buddy, does that sound appealing”
Heathcliff:
“It was easy driving to this nightclub in our amphibious vehicle, boys.”
Of course, it’s impossible to say exactly what freaky behavior goes on at Fly, or what various vices a frog might indulge in as opposed to a human (or any mammal, really), but I think we can all agree that the mascot frog is high as hell, so we can extrapolate from there, if we wished to.
Pluggers:
“I guess that’s what they mean by ‘intestinal four-titude’ !”
Was kinda expecting the computer lab story to end “And that bearded man grew up to be… Bruce Tinsley.”
Well, it’s Herb and Jamaal, so even if this guy is batshit, his manifestos will consist entirely of “I am angry about these things I disapprove of!” “Events and some notable people trouble me!” “Bland vaguery!”
Pluggers dine with a framed portrait of three ice cubes adrift in sewage.
H&J I guess the joke here is that Herb is thinking about his own stupid inane thoughts and is horrified at the thought of someone reading them. Buddy, I have bad news for you…
I’m just yroubled that the frogs’ “night out” appears to be taking place in broad daylight. It’s just gonna be fall-down drunks and total lames in there before 10 PM, guys!
Pluggers apparently dine with their hats still on. I dub you gauche, sir!
FC: Yeah, Jeffy, you talk gooder but you’re still a moron. We have to put your name on all your clothes so you’ll know who you are.
Pluggers: Pluggers are fat #58,482.
Pluggers: I’ll give them one thing. That plate looks more like real food than anything out of Mary Worth’s kitchen.
Pluggers: Come on, a Plugger doesn’t stare a big plate of peas and carrots and… is that humus?… and think “Mmm, I just wish I could eat more of these healthy vegan treats”. A Plugger envies a cow’s four stomachs because KFC sells bucket meals that feed four.
RMMD In a sane world, this guy is delusional if he thinks the “Lorna’s here!” tip would be worth big bucks, but apparently this world was hit with a mentally-crippling virus that leads to both obsessive interest in roots country music and utter desperation to know the activities of every single actor who had a few hit roles a decade-plus ago.
JP Forget giving back your ill-gotten gains, can you give back the concepts of perspective, consistent shading, and relative sizes to the artist? Or maybe just start with giving the artist a chair to draw so Bogdan isn’t sitting trussed up to nothing with a pole rammed up his butt??
Bizarro vs Snuffy Smith : 4 out of 5 doctors means 80 %, which means the remainder is 20 %. Getting something you only have a 20 % chance of getting twice in a row is a 4 % chance. Crazy, huh? (but not as crazy as the two medical professionals featured today).
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Crankshaft : “We used to call them ‘chalk talks’ because we used ACTUAL CHALK back then! And nickels had pictures of bumblebees on them! So you’d say ‘Give me five bees for a quarter’. Anyway, the important thing was, I had an onion tied to my belt, which was the style at the time…”
*************
Dick Tracy : TOMORROW : Smash cut to B.B. Eyes, Double-Up and Mumbles wearing fursuits.
B.B. Eyes : How’d you talk me into this?
Double-Up : Hey, once we put on the heads, no one can get a good look at our faces! Good look at our faces!
Mumbles : Cmngys, dsizmhhbby. Dnt knkshaym.”
*************
Heathcliff : Michigan J. Frog is risking exposure to get a smile out of Jimmy, who remains with his stone-faced, hang-dog look. Jimmy is the Rex Morgan of frogs.
************
Pluggers : and their envy turned into homicidal thoughts, and now they’re eating the object of their jealousy.
***********
Safe Havens : that final panel highlights that this storyline could have went with Alex and Palmtop being stuck in a “Ladyhawke” situation where, when one is a human, the other is an animal, and vice-versa, and they can’t be together, but that would have meant inconveniencing a Holbrook strip protagonist, so Alex and Pam can totally be humans at the same time, and also Alex’s transformations don’t interfere with him holding a job.
Heathcliff: Seeing that Freddie, Michigan, Kermit and other frog are nude or pantsless, they are ready for anything. The 90’s throwback Fly Girls should prepare themselves for quite a tongue-lashing!
H&J: Not much of an audience these days for a Joe Gould origin story but kudos for trying.
DICK TRACY: Actually I suspect “Junior” can’t give an answer because he’s still trying to solve the mystery of whether he should date Betty or Veronica.
@Ukranazi Stepan:
Comment stuck in moderation alert!
DT:
“I have to call you by your last name, ‘Tracy,’ because even though we’re officemates who work closely with one another, calling you by your first name might trip the censorbots in some comics milieux!”
I don’t know if the location fits, but the time fits for Mr Comics Curmudgeon to have gone to grade school with Gene Ray, or “Timecube Man” as the Internet would soon know him. You’ll tell us if this paranoid ideation looks familiar, right?
H&J: First of all, been there. It’s pretty much how I’ve maintained my “normal person” image.
Second, “journal” as a verb; hate it. Worse, was the meeting I was at when someone said, “Let’s calendar that.” I had to go journal how much I hated it.
HEATHCLIFF: So, the pub food here is…And you attract those with… So every day, the delivery truck arrives, loaded with…
MW: “One condition: I can have women in my room. ‘Cause THIS player’s not done yet!”
DT:
“Tracy, why is it 2026, but we’re dressed as if it’s 1936? — are we like that ‘Rudolph Fentz’ guy who traveled through time to show up in Gotham in 1950?”
Wow, it tool me a minute, but is that the frog from the New Zoo Review?
@Anonymous, Heathcliff: That is Freddie the Frog from New Zoo Review. Massive Deep Cut for the funnies these days.
Heathcliff: Well, feline reproduction amounts to basically rape, involves spiked penises and insemination through multiple partners, and frogs use their eyeballs and eye muscles to help stuff whole prey down their throats, so pretty horrible all around. But yeah, stay out of Fly’s amplexus room, if you know what I mean.
@Little Guy:
Freddie is there for a Nude Zoo Revue.
@Little Guy: @Anonymous: You can’t say the comics don’t know their audience: Gen Xers and Boomer drug fiends.
I’m assuming that the tall, besweatered gent in today’s Heathcliff is none other than Frog from the “Frog and Toad” series of picture books. If so, it really hits home that those are man-sized amphibians in those books; they do wear human clothes and ride bicycles. However, the really shocking thought is that anybody from Heathcliff’s world has a connection to a literary character; in keeping with the vague ’50s-style anachronistic world of every comic strip, they should only be aware of things they see on TV, read in the newspaper, or hear from the milkman.
@I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV: Wait, shit, I got my cards mixed up again, this one may be for Dick Tracy.
Pluggers: Cows shit. A lot. At random. All over whatever — or whoever — happens to be back there. This both explains why there are no Plugger cows and, given Pluggers’ devotion to Metamucil, prune juice or the occasional finger, the source of their envy.
Herb and Jamaal: As someone who both went to grad school in the mid-90s and used to journal obsessively, can confirm, but have to wonder why no Unabomber jokes.
Where is Ub Iwerks 1930s star Flip the Frog? Why wasn’t he invited to the “Freak Off”?
Also Pluggers: Seems to me the real question here is whether cow Pluggers would leave their chewing cud on the bedpost overnight? Would it lose its flavor?
LUANN: I love how these clowns are utter slaves to their houseguests. That’ll show they have the maturity and assertiveness to raise a family!
LUANN (2): Panel #2: By the way, that’s supposed to be a three bedroom house. For who, Barbie?
LUANN (3): This is a real dilemma for TJ because obviously in the Luann-verse, these “best friends” will never interact again if they aren’t in any type of proximity with each other (see Bernice and Luann for details)
@Bob Tice: And as your adopted son I don’t call you ‘Dad’ because you have only one son, Justice!
Is Pluggers admiring cows’ four stomachs the equivalent of “they are good at basketball” or “they are canny with their money”?
Heathcliff – Okay, Freddy the Frog (New Zoo Revue) is a true relic of the 70s. Heathcliff is making me feel pandered to.
“Fly” is part of a franchise of night clubs named after Jeff Goldblum movies. “Wicked” is a fine locale. “Jurassic” is well beloved. “Death Wish”, not so much
Josh, I also went to grad school for history. Now I’m an HR office drone, my hopes and dreams naught but dust in the wind. “Do not do this,” indeed.
It’s unclear whether in “You wanted to see me, Tracy” “Tracy” is vocative (I am addressing you, Dick Tracy) or accusative (you wanted to see me and by me I mean Tracy, since I am Junior Tracy). Latin would not have tolerated such confusion!
As Chauncey “Flat-Face” Frog enters the club with his pal Jimmy, Heathcliff secretely wishes he were a Courageous Cat.
Dick Tracy: “Jeepers, Dick! The only disguise I know is Jimmy Olsen, Superman’s pal! Do you think they could all be dressed like him?
It’d be cool to look just like Jimmy Olsen, right, Dick? RIGHT?”
Heathcliff: I’m glad Kermit and Michigan J. Frog aren’t hanging out with Pepe anymore. We all thought he was charming for, like, a minute, but then his politics got really weird, and he started a cult that maybe destroyed America? Anyhow, I don’t think he deserves to be in conversation with such august company, and I’m glad he’s not.
@2+2=7:
On Luann point 2 :
a) What, is EVERYBODY in this strip living in a small
playhouseshed in someone’s backyard?b) At this rate, eventually, the characters will be shown dwelling in enormous, palatial rooms, while the establishing shots are like, cardboard boxes under an overpass or such.
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On Luann point 3 :
a) …did the strip just retcon away TJ being independently wealthy from getting several inheritances
and also all the insurance fraud?…b) Going back slightly to point 2, if they do go through with TJ moving into a small tent in Bwad and Toni’s backyard, do you think eventually it’ll be portrayed as being as roomy and well-furnished as everyone else’s place?
REX MORGAN: I’m pretty sure that the paparazzi will love a pic of Mud being absolutely flummoxed by a third-rate Applebees (“The oh-so klassy ‘Live-at-the-Improv decor’ makes me feel like we’re at Spagos. It’s too fancy for my blood!”)
REX MORGAN M.D. (2): Also a big “whatever” at this place not having “chicken-friend steak.” Yeah it’s just all the caviar and foie gras you can eat at this TGIFriday’s rip-off.
“Nah, they’re performers. Kermit and Michigan J., they can really bring the house down. The other two, not so much. They’re more leeches than frogs, know what I mean? Anyway, not sure why they’re going to the airport; guess they got a gig out of town. Good on them. Anyway, what I really wanted to talk about is why the city built that huge Cheez-Whiz cannister that dominates the local skyline. What? Really? I never would have thought Godzilla was lactose-intolerant. You think Cheez-Whiz actually contains enough dairy to keep him away? I dunno, man. But I gotta say, haven’t seen the kaiju around here lately. Maybe the mayor is right. Election’s comin’ up, maybe he gets my vote.”
H&J-“And one day soon they shall all be reading my manifesto!”
MW-Hrvey is continuing on with the belief that there really was a Trixie and he wasn’t scammed.
Grad school in English Lit here. Actually got out with an MA. I now write JavaScript for a living, which lends itself poorly to iambic pentameter. But, I am also doing technical writing. So there’s that.
Pluggers – Note, it doesn’t say that pluggers envy cows for having four stomachs. It says they envy the stomachs themselves. Oh what bliss, to be nothing but a giant stomach! Or possibly four of them, even better.
DT: “I mean, one of them has this weird verbal tick where he repeats the last part of his statements, and another is barely comprehensible. They’d betray themselves the moment they open their mouths.”
Heath: They’re going to be disappointed when they go in there and it’s a zipper warehouse.
H&J: I only read this strip when it’s featured here, but based on that evidence I can only assume this guy’s disturbing, transgressive thoughts are along the lines of “Looks like those clowns in Congress did it again. What a bunch of clowns.”
Pluggers dream of subsisting on dense plant matter that can only be digested through a complex biological process.
Don Abundio, translated:
“Who are all these portraits?”
“Don Abundio’s celebrity crushes”
“That one’s a singer; that one’s a model…”
“And over there, the star of Attack of the 50 Foot Woman…”
“They’re all life-size!”
FC: Bil “The Red Hammer” Keane makes a mental note to remind Jeffy to address his mom as Madame Thel during Struggle Sessions.
CS: “I was so nervous to give my first Chalk Talk because even now I see the truth, that compared to other professional comics artists I am a hack and a pretender, even in a field that has its share of them” :Batton’s interviewer just nods along and smiles inanely like he has been doing since the interview started about ten months ago:
HeathCliff —
Mr. Frog went a’ clubbin and he did ride, oo ho
Mr. Frog went a’ clubbin and he did ride
All his posse by his side, oo ho. . .
H rode up fo the Olde Fly’s door, oo ho
He rode up to the Olde Fly’s door
Where he’d often been before, oo ho
He said, Ms. Mouse are you within? oo ho
He siad Ms, Mouse are you within?
Yes, fine sir, I dance and spin, oo ho
I’ll stop before I totally ruin anyone’s childhood, but just two items.
First, the Watering Hole was right there.
Second, is Pepe going to be there?
H&J: This incident is going to haunt Herb, a man whose own thoughts are so wholesome he can say them aloud whenever he chooses. It had never occurred to him that some thoughts are not fit for public dissemination. What could those thoughts be? WHAT IS ON THOSE PAGES???
Pluggers: “I really wish I had three more stomachs I could fill with iced tea and vegetables,” said no plugger ever.
DT: Boy, it’s a good thing Dick Tracy has been around for (checks) 95 years. Otherwise, I might have easily mistaken panel one for softcore gay erotica.
‘cliff: You can tell the other three frogs are trying to do a supercool Reservoir Dogs/”Little Green Bag” thing, but Michigan J. Frog is fucking it up with his corny-ass “Hello Ma Baby” schtick.
RxMD: What cracks me up about this storyline is that the paparazzi have seen Lorna’s “maid” go in and out of her mansion/compound dozens, probably hundreds of times, presumably as she gradually put on weight, over 10 years and never made the connection, but one random travelling salesman sees her one time in a diner 2,000 miles away from her Hollywood home and almost instantly makes her. We’ll chalk it up to Hollywood’s unrealistic standards blinding them to the beauty Salesman Lonnie has learned to see in everyday people—either that or he’s been using AI to make bespoke Lorna Starr plumper porn this whole time. I mean, the road is a lonely home!
Remember the Mary Worth ballooning incident, where Olive had to use her psychic powers to summon a dog rescue? As it turns out, you can just crash land a balloon in somebody’s backyard, and they’ll be cool with it.
April 21. I eat again at the so-called Soul Food place, and yet again I fail to consume a soul. Am I misinterpreting the signs, or is this place lying to me? The owner pries into my writing. I tell him only truth, and he seems troubled. Perhaps his soul is troubled. I could calm it. I could devour it. His partner is nowhere to be seen. The restaurant is empty. Today I will eat soul food.
Heathcliff-Massacre at The Fly film at eleven.
MW: Oh, God, here come the terms…!
Invite List for the Froggy Freak Off:
Kermit the Frog
Michigan J Frog
Tijuana Toads
That Frog in the Blender
Hypno-Toad
Frog from the Video Game Frogger
Flip the Frog
Pepe
Wind in the Willow’s “Mr Toad”
The Bigheads from Rocko’s Modern Life
Uncle Remus “Brer Frog”
The Battletoads
Pluggers – Imagine the bowel movements! Now that’s living….
Dustin: “Fine, flunk your science class then, see if I care you smug little brat.”
GT: Only being able to get ten participants for a walkout in what is generally depicted as a diverse and progressive student body doesn’t speak well for Keri’s organizational skills.
JP: Yeah, there’s a huge black market for one-by-fours, old PBS tote bags and boxes of Christmas decorations that are too worn out to display every year but you haven’t gotten around to throwing them away yet.
Luann: So, there’s only three houses in this entire town and everyone in the cast has to either live in them or in their backyards.
MW: “I can bring along my new girlfriend Mitzi! We’re going to be married just as soon as I help her pay off the loan sharks she’s indebted to…”
Pluggers
Statement 1: We’ve never seen any cows as Plugger characters.
Statement 2: Pluggers love steak.
While Statement 2 is only an inference, the implications are nonetheless unsettling.
Heathcliff-Wait until they attempt to rough up Brundle Fly.
H&J: I probably wouldn’t want to place a laptop on that counter either.
@Chance:
He’s not a mascot. That’s Freddy the Frog from The New Zoo Revue.
Luann-I hear there’s a nice serial killer shack down the street.
@2+2=7:
I watched part of Riverdale Season One and that made me look at Betty, Veronica, and especially Grundy with new eyes.
RMMD: I guess that Black Widow cat suit doesn’t fit Lorna anymore.
I went to grad school for history and I am now working at the university. That part of my life went well. The rest not so much, but you must count your blessings
rex morgan -after we finish these fancy vittles would you like to see a comedy show these 2 young rascals shorty and beanpole can tickle a funnybone
H: Freddie is a child. Why are three adults bringing a child to a nightclub for boys night out?
Well, in Cuphead (both the game and the cartoon) had two frogs running a nightclub for flies to attend.
In the latter I can’t remember if the frogs were rounding up the flies to eat them.
@Joe Blevins: ME TV Toons had the Michigan J. Frog cartoon last night.
It’s still funny after all these years.
MW: Curious how Sharon shies away from H___y when she suggests he spends more time with her boys.
“Okay, but only on one condition!…They stop calling it an ASScot!”
@Anonymo: They also like BBQ, and I don’t think we’ve seen any pig Pluggers. The conclusion is obvious; when the animals took control, they split into factions. The ‘peaceful’ coalition settled Slylock Fox. The ‘eat or be eaten’ coalition settled Pluggers. And the ‘hey, we’ll try anyone once’ interbreeding folks ended up in Kevin and Kell.
@Charterstoned:
C’mon, Hervey, now’s the time to bring up your destiny of building a Polynesian longboat in the garage.
Bet that’s not any dumber than what he wants.
6Chx: Jesus, Bianca’s really outdone herself today. Thank god she didn’t finish the drawing.
But guys, befuddlingly enough, a main member of the Pluggers cast is a chicken. Now, chickens WILL eat other chickens, but isn’t she married to, like, the bear? We’ve only begun to peel this onion, people.
Heathcliff: “I’m into that!”– JavaFrog, Funday Pawpet Show.
Pluggers: Is that a glass of iced tea or bourbon?
BLONDIE: Regarding smart glasses: I know someone who wears them (I suspect we all either know someone or we wear them ourselves by now). I have no doubt that I am in hundreds, maybe thousands, of photographs I never knew were being taken. I recall hearing that the YMCA tries to ban phones and cameras in their locker rooms for obvious reasons. But now what do you do about people wearing glasses? Also, using a phone while driving is outlawed in many states (and I’m hoping my home state outlaws it soon). But what if you see a driver wearing glasses?
Dick Tracy: “How would you disguise BB Eyes and his gang?” Well, maybe have them all dress in normal everyday 2026 clothing instead of BB’s 1930s outfit, Doubleup’s retro-’40s suit and Mumbles’ 1950s lounge-singer look would be a good start. Then BB himself could wear some sunglasses so his most distinctive feature wasn’t so bloody obvious and Doubleup could wear a hat. And Mumbles could do all three and not talk.
(Lore Alert: Tracy is probably asking Junior about this because Junior is the police sketch artist)
The Familliar Mucus: Yea you talk just great,now shut up and give Jibby his shirt back.
DT: Speaking of disguises, Tracy, how do you like my Mormon missionary getup?
RMMD: I’ve got a feeling some pushy paparazzi is going to end up with a knuckle sandwich by way of Mud/Fergus when he goes full hillbilly on him. Or would that be too interesting for this strip?
Herb and Jamaal:
Herb is right to be concerned! Considering the fact that this customer is writing down forbidden thoughts, perhaps even composing the Necronomicon itself, immediately after consuming a meal at his restaurant, there’s a distinct possibility that he and Jamaal have accidentally stumbled into a profoundly mind-altering recipe for cornbread, or maybe the garden in which they grow okra is on ground cursed by the Old Gods.
Beatup Bailey: Say, Beatup, can you please help me get this guy out of my nose? His feet have been dangling out of my nostrils since the Hoover Administration!”
@A Grave Mind: I’m betting Harv wants a promise that after he finds and marries Trixie, she’ll be able to stay at Sharon’s also.
Six Chex and A Cat Named ‘Doh!’ in search of A Punchline: Well, now we know who ended up with the Guatemalan Insanity Peppers Homer Simpson didn’t scarf down.
Herb And Jamaal: Herb is actually just shaken by the realization that he can jot his thoughts down in a journal instead of pondering them aimlessly while staring at an imaginary audience with smug expression. This totally changes the game for him.
Dick Tracy: Detective Jimmy Olsen is on the case! Hopefully he won’t suffer any of his many bizarre Silver Age missdventures on the job. Crimefighting in Neo-Chicago is messy enough without the investigator turning into an alligator because Lex Luthor zapped him with infared kryptonite which turns you into a walking pun.
Heathcliff: This feels like a gag you’d see in Amphibia. All that’s missing is Brenda Song being adorable and a purposefully disconcerting punchline implying murder!
DT: Hmmmm…I wonder if the three of them could fit into a pantomime horse costume?
RMMD: “Looks like the only thing this Jordan knows how to make is Hungarian food. Try the diszno csulok kaposztaval.”
Gasoline Alley: Between a retired nurse, and what I take to be a pharmacy tech, how much stock should I put in medical advice from people who say aspirins?
BG&SS: Doc Pritchart isn’t fooling anyone. He got his medical diploma studying under “Dr.” John Brinkley.
Both of them: My theory that Gasoline Alley borders Hootin’ Holler looks more plausible with every passing month.
Lockhorns: The weariness which the server gives is just the right attitude here. Leroy and Loretta don’t want to hear corporate training video overzealous cheerfulness for meals which should have hit the table half an hour ago.
This is the kind of customer service you can’t teach.
RMMD: Who else is surprised Glenwood has a restaurant with a Cinzano marketing banner? Everything about this town screams Natty Light.
@Anonymous:
Prince Naveen
Dig ‘Em
Plastic Man’s pet, Flexi-Frog