Mmm … sandwich
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Judge Parker, 5/10/26
There have been hints in this strip that Judge Parker Senior is slipping away into alcoholism or maybe just dementia, and … look, he’s kind of an asshole, and sure, Katherine seems to be on top of his apparent disappearance as this strip opens, but you have to imagine that she leaves those keys where he can find them even though she shouldn’t, and, well, maybe today’s the day when he’s going to drive into a wall and she’ll be rid of him and, since his kids are themselves both kind of assholes, get that money. It turns out that he was just making a sandwich, though! Oh well.
Hagar the Horrible, 5/10/26
Despite my endless attempts to parse the anachronisms of Hagar the Horrible, I do of course realize that the anachronisms are key to the jokes, like the mix of the modern concept of a “hospital” with our vague ideas of ancient medicine here. Anyway, today’s punchline is whatever but I think “Take those leeches out of here! I’m not a blood buffet!” is very funny! A hearty chuckle was had, by me.
Mary Worth, 5/10/26
“I know many people who are smart, successful, resourced, but because of loneliness, they throw almost everything away for an illusion! Now imagine how loneliness would affect a dumb, poor failure!” [SMASH CUT TO: MEANWHILE, TOMMY BEEDIE WEEPS]
54 replies to “Mmm … sandwich”
Rex Morgan: I didn’t think it was possible. I really didn’t. I almost can’t believe what I’m seeing. Tell me it’s not true. Did I just read about the most bald faced (figuratively) incompetent blackmailer ever? I mean, Toby Cameron-level stupidity. Hell, I’ll go all the way: Luann deGroot dumbassery. Oh. My. God. I think I lost a dozen IQ points reading today’s strip. Maybe more. Gad, Lonnie’s brain must have the density of depleted uranium to hatch this plot.
The last panel of Mary Worth needs to be someone’s Facebook cover photo.
MW:
What if one’s a self-absorbed jerk
And one’s rhyme doesn’t ever work?
— Justin Bieber
MW-Not enough material this week with Tommy and Brandy so Moy has to resort back to summarizing Harve.
Slylock Fox-I think it would take awhile for a candle flame to boil water.
MW-“Brandy! Why did I run out of brandy!? There’s not another liquor for miles from here!”
JP:
“Just making a sandwich.”
“That’s a lot of baloney!”
@Baja Gaijin:
I see why Moustachero is so bad at his salesman job now.
He can’t even sell a blackmail threat.
Wrecks Moregone:
“Pshh, honey, Mud and I pretending I’m a former Hollywood star is just part of our foreplay!”
Wary Morth:
Moy: “Oh, the snarkers thought they were free of Hardy Har Hart, did they? They’ve another think coming!”
HtH;
Mean Max is truly a curmudgeon — a sort of Scandinavian “Oskar” the Grouch.
@Liam:
It’s in a flask made of glass! They can just smash it and it’ll evaporate much faster than it would with a *^&%£#@ candle.
JP: “Alan, where have you been? You’re the titular character of this strip and we haven’t seen you in months!” “Just making a sandwich. That time dilation must be acting up again…”
HtH: “…but first, it looks as though we’re having a little impromptu orgy…”
MW: There’s something really funny about these two talking about human connection while sounding like a couple of customer service chatbots caught in an infinite loop. And by ‘funny’ I mean ‘sad’.
JP:
The “car” not being in the “garage,” and no one knowing why, is clearly some kind of metaphor for something, but I’m not sure what. Maybe it’s, like, the opposite of the train going into the tunnel at the end of North by Northwest.
For example, Toby, I’ve given Dr. Jeff the illusion that he can bed me at some point in our relationship. And, it will continue to be an illusion while I get endless sunset cruises and free dinners at the Bum Boat.
@Liam: You have to remember that the six or seven people who only take the Sunday paper haven’t seen any of the Tommy stuff.
As for Judge Parker, I’ll steal a phrase from the guy over at comicsarchaeology: People were paid to write, draw, ink, and publish this.
Hagar the Horrible:
It’s interesting that Mean Max is so unpleasant when you consider that Hagar, despite being labeled “horrible”, was just a few days ago gushing about getting to pet a baby bunny. Anyway, good on Mean Max for refusing the dangerous pseudoscience that passed for healthcare in 10th century Scandinavia. His refusal to undergo bloodletting was probably key to his successful recovery!
Blondie: Blondie and Dagwood must have had sex once, on Mother’s Day, a decade ago.
Christian monks introduced important innovations, such as basic medicine, in the hope of civilising and taming the Vikings. Instead, all it did was to allow violent monsters like Max to survive battle wounds they would have died from, allowing them to return to murder Christians! As usual, trying to make war more human made it more lethal!
Hagar’s understanding of Christianity is very simplistic and pagan. He conceives praying simply as an exchange of favours with the divinity — do ut des — and does not care about ethics or redemption. Brother Olaf should reconsider his evangelising programme
The last decade of Mary Worth has seen a shift from episodic, weirdo of the week storylines to more long-term plotting and a focus of fan favourite characters. This is basically the turn from 24-episodes television to prestige television. At the beginning, this met fans’ favour but now there are diminishing returns. We loved Wilbur in small doses, but now we have had a glut of his storylines, making his character more flanderized and obnoxious. Same with Toby, which has exhausted all good concepts and has to resort to stupid parrot-themed plots. But Tommy… there are still some squeezes left in that lemon!
MW: The fact that the quote box is not from “Eleanor Rigby” has ruined my day.
RMMD: Lonnie has seriously overestimated himself. And MaeMae has cast iron skillets within easy reach.
Tommy used to be the master of the silent thought balloon. Remember great classics such as ”Groan” or ”Sheesh”? Good times! But now Tommy produces a pathetic personal name instead of an onomatopoeia! You should know better, Tommy, going off drugs made you lose your edge!
The car’s not here. The fortyish adult who lives in the house isn’t here. Truly a mystery for the ages.
MW- I used to deliver the morning paper back when you could get it either all week or on Friday-Sunday only. MW is still “catching up” the readers who don’t read the paper on Monday-Thursday. Makes the Sunday strip always a throw away strip for anyone who actually has kept up with the strip
Oh no, Ann! This means… Listen, I can’t even pretend to care about who these people are. The only thing I am interested in is knowing what kind of sandwich
HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!
To all who had one, made one,are one. Forgive– no one is perfect. Sppreciate– there is good in everyone.
GA: always check with the source…
MF: (strip that must not be discussed). always check with the source…
CURTIS: …because people will tell you what you want to hear, not what you need to hear.
Rex Morgan Mashup: I wish this was the actual strip.
@Ukranazi Stepan: Forget that, what kind of “cloud” would it release that isn’t just … the gaseous form of the liquid?? Any evaporation/ boil-off trick should just speed up the soporific’s action!
@Bob Tice:
MW: What if you live in a big-ass mansion,
But you can’t even manage elementary scansion?
@matt w: Yeah, we talk about Alan’s obvious signs of senility, but Katherine also took longer than she should to put two and two together. At least they didn’t go for the “Well if you didn’t take it and I didn’t take it…” trope, though you can tell that’s going through both their minds in that silent next-to-last panel.
@CanuckDownSouth: OK, OK, we’re all agreed, the real solution is for Slylock to make Max drink the potion. He can always get another assistant — probably has to do so regularly anyway, considering the lifespan of a mouse.
MW “Would you get it through your thick heads – I’m not being creepy setting up a family relationship as a complete substitute for romantic/ erotic companionship! *You’re* the creepy ones, wanting that icky stuff! If you could just get over that and accept a nice hearty handshake or hug in the moonlight like Dr. Jeff, we wouldn’t *have* this so-called loneliness epidemic – it’s just ingratitude with what you already have!”
BF Dude… it’s a reasonable question. Some people handle this difficult stage better than others. Is Tamara actually getting rest when you take the baby? And vice versa?
DT I don’t get it, they don’t have time to eat breakfast? Is this somehow going to be A Clue when the wastebasket is found?
@MKay:
All Mae Mae has to do is sit on Lonnie.
S4th: Ah, a heart worming (sic) strip for today’s celebration.
T GROOVE: And a second one.
@CanuckDownSouth: Logic left town on the last bus out.
@Baja Gaijin:
Redacted Morgan, MD
MW Toby is going to evangelize a secular version of Shakerism to convince all the lonely people that they don’t need a romantic partner, they can fill that with communal living and ecstatic devotion to Mary the Perfect Meddler, She Who Knows What is Best for All
@Baja Gaijin:
#1 RMMD: Thanks for warning us yesterday, Baja. I was hoping Fergus would also be there so we could have a WWE smackdown with this shakedown.
@11 Ukranazi Stepan: Very true and easier than dealing with the flame.
@15 Ken: on Rex Morgan: I hadn’t thought of that. Ugh.
@20 Ettorre: I think Tommy’s problem is Brandy won’t “squeeze his lemon” anymore.
@matt w:
#23. JO: but for the Parker/Driver privilege, car theft would be another of Ann’s parole violations.
MW: Mary gained this insight into loneliness through her friendship with Eleanor Rigby, who she introduced to Wilbur Weston. The relationship ended badly and Eleanor fled to England.
@28 CanuckDownSouth: Ooh! Good catch!
@31 Ken: The best solution yet to the water-based solution dilemma!
@33 Ukranazi Stepan: Lonnie may like that.
@38 Activist: Fergus is there, remember? Hopefully, he’s in the background, hulking out into Mud Mountain, ready to give Lonnie the sharting of his life.
@Ettorre: I don’t know the name of the island, but it’s untouched by civilization and the islanders will immediately kill anyone who sets foot on it. The island is forbidden to enter for that reason.
One guy wanted to teach the islanders Christianity so he got in a boat, sailed to the island and was immediately speared to death the second he stepped foot on it.
Then his family wanted to go back and get his body for a proper burial but the British(?) government forbid it. Because again, the island is forbidden for a reason.
MW – The Beatles references are giving me whiplash. They went straight from “Eleanor Rigby” to “While Tommy Beedie Gently Weeps.”
MW – Better a vapid quote from Justin Bieber than the “Hopefully she would have been a belieber,” inscription he left at the Anne Frank House.
@The Rambling Otter: North Sentinel Island in India, the Wiki page says the Indian authorities made attempts to recover his body but the likelihood of violent confrontations was too high to justify continuing after failures. Indian law prohibits even getting within a few kilometres of the island.
MW – The bolded words tell a completely different story:
Eccentric, isn’t he? Smart, successful, resourced… Loneliness? Illusion! Human connection? Really didn’t care. All brandy.
JP – Just making a sandwich at the Parker House. Mmm, these rolls make a delicious sandwich!
Don Abundio, translated:
“Follow me, please”
“Don Abundio, the TV repairman is here”
“I don’t need him!”
JP: Dagwood Bumstead is lying on the kitchen floor unconscious, maybe bleeding, after being mugged by Judge Parker Senior, and we’re worried about ANN?! Someone call Rex Morgan stat!!
JP – I have it on good authority that Alan’s mother was a skunk….
HtH – The hospital doesn’t have any cards – that’s the problem….
MW – Brandy – you’re a fine girl; what a good wife, you would be; but your life your love and your lady – isn’t me….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
@CanuckDownSouth: All the power to the North Sentinel Islander, no reason they should get all infectious diseases because a bored westerner wants to play missionary
Mary Worthless: Look, Harve just pissed away $200,00 dollars without anyone in his family even noticing; fuck Harve. Meanwhile Tommy, without his girlfriend/the woman who holds the lease on his apartment, may be homeless soon. Dude lives like a garage band drummer.