Thursday dining
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Blondie, 6/18/26
When Blondie started a business, back in 1991, it might’ve presented the strip with an opportunity to step beyond the tired food-mania cliches it had been orbiting around for decades. Unfortunately the business she started was a catering company, and most of the jokes it generated are about various customers coming in and making terrible food puns based on whatever their forced-zany shtick is. Anyway, today’s strip is notably sad because I’m reasonably sure Blondie’s “Do you happen to be marketing executives?” line is meant to be complimentary.
Six Chix, 6/18/26
The “mainstream media” won’t cover it, but the giant bug-things are coming and they will kill us all if we don’t prepare for all-out war against them. The gang at Six Chix has been trying to raise the alarm, and I just hope it’s not too late!
Rex Morgan, M.D., 6/18/26
“It’s sure better than the piece of shit cafe where I work. The food there’s barely edible. You can put that in your report if you want!”
65 replies to “Thursday dining”
At the same time, these guys apparently rode their boards to this meeting, Weezer-style, which is AWESOME.
That tick’s cousins are about to obliterate Buenos Aires! Join the Mobile Infantry and become a citizen! God, that movie was stupid!
Dennis the Menace: Dennis has promised he’ll get his revenge on everyone who has crossed him. He never break a promise. That’s pretty menacing.
“Seriously, we’re standing in a restaurant right now. Do you know how sad Doug’s Sad Face is gonna be after this? Pretty goddamn sad!”
RxMD: “Stop deadnaming me, you b*tch! It’s Mae Mae!”
Phantom: It’s going to be Ming the Merciless, isn’t it? Halfway to a “Defenders of the Earth” reboot. Plus, the retcon origin story of the hokey “Power of Ten Tigers” Jungle Law Mantra, riding the coattails of He-Man’s “Power of Greyskull”.
Blondie: Got it. Surfers carry their boards everywhere, talk funny surfer talk, and live off their parents. At least they’re never worked for National Intelligence.
Six Chix:
“I’m guarding a spa that specializes in skincare beauty treatments. I’m a ‘facial‘ tick!”
Hi and Lois; Is one of those stuffed animals the murderous bear from the Five Nights at Freddy’s series? Also it’s pretty sad to see Ditto so delusional that he’s setting up this scene just so he can pretend to win a game he’s playing by himself.
Blondie: Somehow, I don’t think fern fronds or daisies would be first choice of botanical surfboard decorations of these two stoners with severe cases of the munchies.
RMMD-Yes. You are literally standing in the middle of a restaurant that you could eat in.
MW-Can we get to the part where Tommy finds himself slathered in mayonnaise and is in the middle of a Weston sandwich?
Luann-The letter arrived a week after Hannah returned from camp.
Crankshaft-“My dad was a swinger!”
Blondie: The only one of those dishes that isn’t just regular food with a punning name is wasabi waffles, which frankly sound terrible. Why you go all out and serve them with Szechuan Sausage?
Alas, they’re already here.
RMMD:
“By the way, lensman — what’s your name, anyway?”
“Last name’s ‘Voltaire,’ Ms. Starr. Smile! — you’re on ‘Candide‘ Camera!”
Blondie – Cash upfront, Blondie….
6-C – I’m already ticked off….
RMMD – Has-Been lives in Shitty Little Town – film at eleven….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
Blondie: OK so did they actually come up with surf-themed dishes or just some names that Blondie will be forced to develop herself? Best of luck trying to make ravioli ‘rad’ or how to integrate the concept of a tidal wave into a tart!
RMMD “Mystery solved”? The mystery of not being an actress after being an actress? Next week: where does the sun go every night and will it come back?
Blondie: A bit of cultural archaeology in today’s Blondie. During the 60s and 70s, surfer dudes were slackers, but as Silicon Valley and the ex-Berkeley hippie tech scene picked up through the 80s and 90s, things like surfing and Burning Man became a stereotype of engineers and programmers. But tech professionalised and became the domain of nerds, while non-technical managers like marketing executives attempted to build their cred and steal valour by getting into the alternative scenes associated with the hacker subculture in the 00s and 10s. I didn’t know what had happened since then, so thanks to Blondie for explaining: they’re slackers again.
RMMD Such a missed opportunity to show the hotel/cafe guy (after the repeated manager-tries-to-edge-into-the-interview bits this week) upset in the background as Mae sends the interview crew off to the competition!
Six Chix:
Maybe we could improve that entomological endomorph’s disposition if we serenaded him with Strawberry Alarm Clock’s “Insects and Peppermints.”
Mother Goose and Grimm: Do you feel bad for elephants who are captured and killed by poachers for their valuable ivory? Well have you considered that some of those elephants might have been asshole smokers who chose to destroy their bodies with deadly carcinogens? If elephants are supporting the tobacco industry maybe they just got what they deserved.
Blondie:
“We’re actually musicians who specialize in throwback surf-themed covers of songs.”
“Really? What’s the name of your group?”
” ‘Dan and Gene‘ !”
Luann: Ye Gods, the mother of this ‘Hannah’ is a Muppet! No wonder she has poor emotional regulation, I’m surprised she isn’t flailing her arms about!
Phantom: Yes, Nomad, you’ve figured out it’s all an illusion from that ‘device’ right? We know from the ‘Admiral’s’ thought balloons that he agrees with you that Schmelon Schmusk is a dangerous fruitcake. Why aren’t you rushing him while he’s on his phone, hmmm?
RMMD: Do TV reporters in this day and age still say ‘And THERE you have it!’ at the end of a segment?
JP: Sophie’s brain just short circuited. ‘Duh… Askel hoooot….’
CS:
Hey, what the? Dad never told me I was adopted!
An 80 year old bag of weed, wonder if it’s still good?
Hey, what the? Dad never told me he was in the Ku Klux Klan. No wonder he never had any black guys in his band.
What’s this? Dad never told me he was a Freemason. That explains his funny handshake.
MW “Actually, lifesaving and competitive speed are different skillsets, but I’ll be sure to swim back to shore to report your demise really fast”
FG OK, maybe having decades of royalty rule in utter subservience to emperor Ming might screw up the normal expectations, but still… what the *bleep* is heir-to-the-throne-but-really-in-charge-because-dad-is-doddering Vultan doing at liberty in his conquered city? Even if he swore some kind of fealty, Frigia didn’t strike me as stupid enough to blindly accept it.
Neither of the surfers says “rad” or “gnarly,” even once? You guys, I’m starting to wonder if the Blondie team actually researches the various cultures it brings us, or just sort of half-asses it.
MW: I don’t recall much about Brandy’s personality, but imagine the horror of coming back and finding that you’ve been replaced by Dawn Weston.
RMMD: Not a very observant journalist-she’s failed to notice Doug frantically interview-bombing this whole time?
BLONDIE: Have we ever had reason to think that the Bumsteads live in a coastal area? I’ve never seen Dagwood having a sandy sandwich crisis.
MW: The Tommydawnship looks promising, but they have not sought Mary’s blessing! Beep! Beep! Unauthorized flirtation, that’s an HOA violation!
MW: All right, what’s the dumbest thing that could happen in this “plot,” based on what we’ve seen so far? My Take: Tommy’s gonna nearly drown and Brandy, who has returned to town unannounced to “surprise” Tommy, will happen by on the beach just as Dawn is giving him mouth to mouth. Because of her “trust issues,” she will assume Tommy is cheating on her, even as the paramedics arrive to check him out and and even though she’s the one who put them on a “break” or whatever when she left town. Tommy will try to explain, using “babe” for every other word, but she will stomp off. At Freda’s she will be frosty and Tommy will feel like shit. Dawn will likewise feel like shit. Mary will make an appearance or two to say something sufficiently noncommittal but vague hopeful to Tommy and/or Dawn so that when everything works out, they attribute it to her sage wisdom.
RMMD: Mae Mae sent them to Jordan’s because she refuses to wait on people who call her Lorna. Even though all the customers who came to see Lorna Starr have been addressing her as Lorna. It’s a new boundary she just invented, which solves the problem of being on her feet all day.
@Charterstone: Dune: that’s got to be way up there or the Dumb Scale. I’d only add: the resolution has Brandy declaring that she’s not good enough for Tommy, she could *see* how he and Dawn are Meant For Each Other. Brandy disappears and Dawn/Tommy become an official couple
RMMD -…”and it’s as good a meal as you’ll find anywhere. I’ve learned a lot about eating since I disappeared ten years ago. Can’t you tell?”
Blondie: I’m not sure what’s most depressing here, the evident payoff from Big Food, the evident payoff from Big Executive, the evident payoff from Big Surf, the evident payoff from Big Trevor and Jack, congratulations on their graduation-slash marriage-slash successful stay in rehab, or that the sum total of all this bribery to the Blondie creative team is like $15.00, minus taxes and tips.
It’s good to see Rex Morgan, M.D. return to its creative roots: unearned rewards for already well-off people, it’s a good thing. But where’s a little taste for Rex and June?
Six Chix: Insurance companies advise against posting “Beware of dog” signs because they can be taken as an admission that homeowners’ animals are vicious and/or uncontrolled. In this case, it’s more an admission that the creature in question will suck your blood and/or is poorly drawn. That’s got to jack the rates up, don’t you think?
@I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV: Adding, this would be funnier (and make about as much sense) if the sign advised Beware of guard The Tick, with the title character sitting on the porch.
6C: Well, that sucks.
@Handsome Harry Backstayge, Idol of a Million Other Women:
They should have just had them be the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Cowabunga Dudes!
@Liam:
“MW-Can we get to the part where Tommy finds himself slathered in mayonnaise and is in the middle of a Weston sandwich?”
Great. Now I’ve got to drill a hole in my skull and pour in a gallon of bleach to try and get rid of the image this put in my head.
“Et tu, Mae Mae?” Doug gasps.
This might be excused because the café isn’t open for evening meals yet, plus we have evidence that Doug is so incompetent he wouldn’t think to call Hector and get that kitchen open.
Blondie: Maybe I’m stereotyping, but two muscular blonde guys named “Jack” and “Trevor” who have their names written on their tight tank tops and plan catered events together are probably living with each other rather than their parents.
RMMD: Ugh, now Doug is going to get mad at her for telling them to eat at one of the other two restaurants in town.
@I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV:
Hell, I would buy a print of THAT. Spoon!
BG&SS: Loweezy bringing Snuffy a chicken lunch in jail would be a great way to get rid of the evidence, Lamb to the Slaughter style.
“The little square red ones”? Pluggers take more medicine for color-blindness than I thought existed.
MW: And I love how Dawn can stretch her neck like Reed Richards! Brandy could never do that!
A Dustin that actually reflects what short term work is like for young people. Well, it’s been fun, folks, I’ll catch up with you after the Rapture.
Blondie:
Blondie is of course generally contemptuous of young people, probably because the people making it are several hundred years old and being contemptuous of young people is just what old people do. But today’s strip seems even more pointed than usual, what with the crack about joblessness and living-with-parents-ness, not to mention their drooping eyelids making them look super high. (They better be careful, too much more of this and they’ll reach critical mass and exceed what experts call “the Dustin threshold”, from which there is no return.) I’m wondering if these surfers are based on real people the creative team has a bone to pick with, since they not only have a specific hobby but are actually labeled “Trevor” and “Jack”. Whoever they are, I’m sure they’re feeling real chastised right now, or they would be if they read the comics, which, being young people, they do not.
@Pozzo:
#10. BLONDIE: No jobs, living in parents basement. Make sure they pay up front, Blondie.
FG: a family is mending, just in time for Father’s Day! Hint: don’t hold on to bitterness, little girl, understanding is healthier
I don’t know if it’s ever been established that the Bumsteads live near the ocean, but it’s both funnier and sadder if Jack and Trevor* – who carry their surfboards everywhere which is why their parents cry themselves to sleep each night – only surf their local river.
*OMG cartoonists, those shirts are fantastic, please do this in every comic to label every character! Even the major ones! I’d love to never have to remember the name of Dustin’s dad!
***
That reporter is cold! She’s not an ace reporter, she’s an ice reporter! I want to see a comic based around her, dissing the subjects of every human interest story she covers until she finally gets assigned to tackle hard news!
Blondie’s face has the exact same expression in all three panels, and I think it’s great!
Panel 1: Her smile conveys polite, professional interest.
Panel 2: That same smile is friendly and inquisitive. She feels closer to her clients than before!
Panel 3: Blondie’s smile is now frozen on her face in horror! These alleged surfers don’t have money! It’s the worst thing that could happen to her.
We thought our order was clear, but the blond chick delivered ten hoagies dangling from nooses, waffles made with wasabi and maple syrup, ravioli spiked with enough polonium that the Nuclear Regulatory Commission showed up, and tarts with blue goo covering little Lego(TM) figures that appeared to be gasping for air. Now we’ve got the NAACP, the GRU, and the Japanese Foreign Ministry on our case. But the waffles were actually pretty good. Two stars.
Next week Blondie will find out these surfer dudes are part of an organized crime ring who rob banks while wearing masks of former US presidents. Dagwood will have to go undercover and pretend he’s a surfer to infiltrate the gang but he’ll form a vaguely homosexual relationship with one of them. Then they’ll go skydiving for some reason.
Six Chix:
Look, am I in favor of this nightmarish depiction of a gigantic blood-sucking arachnid whose parasitic instincts have presumably been augmented by selective breeding, training, and an actual mission to attack unwary humans? No, of course not. But if today’s Chick was going to present us with this monstrosity from the depths of her twisted psyche, I appreciate that at least she correctly gave it four pairs of legs.
@pugfuggly: Catering secret: You can attach any adjective to any food. Heat up a can of Chef Boyardee, put it in a chafing dish with a sign “Rad Ravioli,” and hey presto, it’s rad.
The waffles might need a bit more work, I’d put the wabasi in the syrup. Restaurant secret: Here in the US it’s usually green-dyed horseradish, not real wasabi.
Blondie – I have several surfers in my life. My nephew Henry, age 18 has had a regular summer job teaching surf lessons for a company called “Tommy Tsunami” for a few years. When getting into college, my sister hired a guy to help him with the application process. A guy from the local surf community known as “Party Pete”. The cheesy names completely track, but these guys are way too pale to be surfers.
C’shaft: (reading on) “Boy, this is the life. I’m sure glad I’m not at home with my wife and loser son. That kid’s a pain; thinks he’s God’s gift to music even though he’d be lucky to land a job as a high school band teacher…”
Dustin: Wait…is Dustin admitting that the title character’s inability to find a steady, well-paying job might be the result of an impossibly hostile work culture rather than/in addition to his personal failings? What’s next? Dustdad goes on a diet? Meg puts down her phone and says something nice about someone? Women don’t be shopping?!
GT: Oh, it’s a vape. For a moment I thought Dorothy or Dolores or whatever was offering her a hit off her lipstick.
HotC: Okay, so apparently Concord Theatricals does have a “teen edition” of A Chorus Line, but I’m still shaking my head at the idea. There’s a lot of songs that shouldn’t be bowdlerized for family consumption and “Dance: Ten, Looks: Three” is one of them.
MW: No, Tommy, if you drown a preternaturally gifted teenager will save you. Or telepathically compel a dog to save you.
Wasabi Waffles – If it were me, I’d make some sticky rice, put it in a waffle iron to make it crispy, and serve with some smoked salmon and a whipped wasabi cream cheese – like a deconstructed Philly roll. But that’s just me.
LUANN: I’m loving the look on the grey dog’s face in the last panel. He doesn’t even understand English, and yet he still instinctively knows just how bad the letter is.
You can tell that these surfers are men because of their bulbous noses and horrible neck folds.
@Liam: Except no they can’t, because Doug the bestest restaurant manager of all time and someone who is actively trying to promote his cafe, has the kitchen closed while the press is here. Of course he could quickly usher the staff back into the kitchen to whip something up for the press to impress them with his exquisite cuisine, but no because he’s clearly banking on people purely coming to the cafe to gawk at Lorna/Mae Mae be a “regular person.”
Those losers unemployed surfers! They should have gotten an honest job like I did: inheriting a legacy strip!
So far, no “Blondie” strip ever implied that they lived in a coastal state. I’m glad that after almost one hundred years, “Blondie” is finally deciding to define the setting!
Don Abundio, translated:
“Military genius is sometimes found in the unlikeliest places…”
… and our next guest deserves our respect as a brilliant naval tactician. Now here’s the shocker…”
“She’s a broad!”
“Are you marketing executives? Because you just invented some names for products related to a specific theme, but you have given no practical information on how these products should be made”
I sincerely hope that reporter goes back to the newsroom with her lame Lorna/Mae-Mae story and the editor tells her it’s already been cut for time.
If ticks were that big, they would be easy to spot and remove! Quick, we must genetically engineer them to be giant-size, I am sure nothing but good will come from it!
LUANN: P.S.: Tell mom her haircut is ugly and that’s why he doesn’t get a letter, Bangs and Cactus.
Love, Whoever-I-am.
LUANN (2): I was wondering how they were going to deal with the inevitable scenes of Luann fucking up at camp. I see their solution is simply to bypass any actual “camp” stuff all together and just have the campers spend all day in their bunk while Luann “solves” their contrived non-problems.
This is just Thursday, so I hope we get two strips about the reporters savaging that backwater Glenwood behind Mae Mae’s back, while speculating she must have lost her mind to decide to move there
@Ettorre: I want to see them splice the interview into the complete opposite of what Mae Mae said, like in that one classic ‘Simpsons’ episode:
‘I’m-just-old-don’t-care-just-want-Mud-kinda-like-Mud-when-Mud-normal! Mud-Glenwood-Big-Secret!’