Do not give the Daddy Daze daddy an axe
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Daddy Daze, 7/7/26
One of my favorite aspects of The Shining, which is one of my favorite all-time movies, is that for most of the movie’s runtime it’s not clear whether the evil hotel ghosts are real or creations of Jack Nicholson’s increasingly deranged mind, until a point towards the end when they unlock the pantry where Shelley Duvall has managed to trap him. My experience with Daddy Daze is informed by a similar narrative tension: Is the Daddy Daze baby really communicating something with his “ba”s that only the Daddy Daze daddy can understand? Or is the Daddy Daze daddy merely projecting his own thoughts and concerns onto incoherent babble, possibly knowingly and possibly delusionally? Today, the Daddy Daze baby’s whimsical antics seem to have produced a real physical object, which implies that the Daddy Daze daddy isn’t so much mad as he is living in a mad universe.
Blondie, 7/7/26
Real joshreads dot com heads know that I enjoy what Blondie has to tell us about how old people are navigating the modern age. Remember when there only used to be three TV channels, and the weather gal on every channel told you it was the same temperature? Now there’s a million channels plus apps on your phone and what not, and everyone is talking about “Real Feel,” which is different from just the regular old temperature in some way that’s hard to understand. How’s a person supposed to stay tethered to actual, physical reality in this kind of information environment? I guess you should probably just go with what your boss says, right? He must know what he’s talking about, that’s why he’s the boss.
Dennis the Menace, 7/7/26
Damn, Dennis, it seems like your notorious antisocial behavior is starting to have an impact on your personal life! I guess the person you’re menacing the most is … yourself.
48 replies to “Do not give the Daddy Daze daddy an axe”
I love everything about the Family Circus today including Jeffys look of utter disappointment that the sink won’t swallow. It will prepare him later in life when he finds out there are other things that won’t swallow for him.
Daddy Daze:
I’d like to see this kid intone the children’s rhyme “Ba, Ba, Black Sheep,” just to see how it would end up turning out.
Dennis the Menace:
“My mom says that you wear that clothing ensemble more frequently than Mary Worth wears her purple blouse!”
Blondie:
“And that’s 108 Centigrade, Bumstead — that’s 216 degrees Fahrenheit. We’re in hell here!”
“That’s for sure.”
Blondie: A co-worker once asked me, in all seriousness, “When it’s 93 degees out, what does it feel like?” I had no idea how to answer without making it sound like I thought she was an idiot.
CS: Is Tom Batiuk trying to do a Pulp Fiction here? You’re supposed to confront your daddy issues *before* you do the long, pointless, symbolic trek to the abandoned amusement park in his honor. And the story needs to end by Father’s Day.
DD To be fair, it seems like you came across this child’s ride in the middle of an open field, so maybe its not surprising that it doesn’t work? Also, maybe a tetanus shot is in order?
Blondie Congrats to Blondie! You’ve managed to take the most pointless conversation on earth (“durability hot outside!”) and somehow made it more boring.
Blondie: “It feels like 108º but I’m perimenopausal. You’ll probably need a jacket today.”
DTM: Is there some sort of sadist barber who enjoys giving all the kids terrible haircuts? Also Dennis on that skateboard like he’s trying to emulate Bart Simpson which is hilarious because I think originally Bart Simpson wanted to be Dennis.
Family Circlejerk – Now that Jeffy’s plugged up all the toilets in the house, he’s starting on the sinks.
“Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody comes up with a funny joke about it, especially not the writers at Blondie.” – attributed to Mark Twain
@Anonymous: Wow, Jef Keane really teed up that one. I wonder if Bil had done this when this picture originally appeared.
For I Speak Jive – Paul McCartney tells a dirty joke
Sorry I don’t have one of him telling the fucking Goofy one.
And, of course, the punchline to my favorite joke is, “Lady, if you think I’m hanging around for 66 more of those, you’re crazy.”
DtM: Is Dennis actually pondering reform? The prospect of no more cake for life could do that to a guy.
MW: Wilbur puts his figurative foot down and slips on a blob of metaphorical mayonnaise.
RMMD: A lot of effort is going into making the twins look as reprehensible as possible, to prove that yes, you doubters, June Morgan Is Always Right.
SF: Much is made of the perfection of Ronan, but really, how smart is he? He’s gone on more than one vacation with the idiot Forths.
DD: I don’t know what’s going on with Dad, but the baby’s communication skills aren’t bad, considering his trapezoidal head. Maybe call the pediatrician? Or SETI?
DtM If this is an update for Gina’s look, the backstory must be that not only did they not have money for a trip to the hair stylist, they also can only afford broken bowls and dull scissors
DT Love is blind… and maybe the artist’s eyesight is going, too, with a tuxedo that day to day gains and loses a breast pocket and lower pockets at different times (and sometimes inconsistent colours)
GT Is Keri left-handed in P1? Is Keri the one signing in P3 with the right hand, as implied by P2 or could that be Inma? Has the artist seen the typical class photo layout with names and quotes, not a blank field? Can the artist try to be consistent??
@Banana Jr. 6000:
On Crankshaft : you put it better than I could, because I can only express confusion as to where this story is going and what it’s trying to say.
IMHO, this segment WOULD have fit better PRECEDING the “Harry Dinkle plays his father’s magnum opus in his home as a sign that he has forgiven his father” sunday, since now it would explain his having invited the entire church choir to his home as “he wanted his father’s song to have an audience”. But I guess they needed to do a pilgrimmage to the burnt-out ruins of a venue that might mean NOTHING to any of them? (Like, the dance hall was only important to Larry Dinkle, Lucy and Eugene, right? And there’s decent odds none of the other characters even ever set foot there?)
****************
Luann : there you have it. It isn’t about how Bernice is an “introvert” and all her friends are “extroverts”, it’s about how Bernice is a self-righteous, judgemental person, and was feeling envious that her friends have a more active life than she does, and she wanted an easy way to convince them that it’s more “correct” to stay at home doing nothing, making her the “better” person again.
S4th: Awww, look at them! Trying to make some sense out of their psych0tic break! The innocent people desperately trying to get out of their path as they speed the wrong way down part of the four-lane divided highway they are actually driving on (in someone’s junker they stole out of the McDonald’s parking lot) would be *so* proud!
Blondie – I am hesitant to disagree with Josh’s interpretation, but I believe the joke-like (joke-adjacent?) message here is that it’s safer to contradict your boss than to contradict your wife.
@Anonymous: Tom Batiuk writes like Jackson Pollock paints. He’s got several cans of glurge, which he throws at the canvas in a random order and lets them land wherever. Then he expects an award for the result.
Six Chix – In this obvious political allegory, the appearance of a pillow with a human face — accompanied by artillery fire — presages the invasion of Six Chix by the Warsaw Pact countries.
Daddy Daze –
You jump in front of my bus
When you, you know all the time
That zero miles an hour, Daddy
Is the speed I drive
I tell you it’s all right
Pretend this post-it is a transfer
I say I just want to
Take a little ride
Ride on the…
(Crosstown horsie) So hard to get through to you
(Crosstown horsie) You don’t get the things I do
(Crosstown horsie) All I say is ‘ba ba ba’
And I never seem to travel very far
Don Abundio, translated:
“How’s business?”
“Not so great, Don Abundio”
“I wish I knew how to improve it”
“First of all, you’re too honest for a used car salesman”
[Sign: USED LEMONS FOR SALE CHEAP]
DtM: “Tell your mom assholery is a congenital condition and not my fault!”
DtM: Dennis seems upset by the news, probably because he is too clueless to realise that by falling out of favour with the parents he’s established himself as the forbidden bad-boy. Might have something to do with the fact that he likes nothing more than hanging out with his old neighbours.
If he figures this all out, I would imagine that the negging he would employ would be quite menacing.
One of my favourite Simpsons “Treehouse of Horror” was the parody of The Shining.
Marge locks increasingly insane (unconscious) Homer in the pantry.
Marge: Stay in here until you’re no longer crazy! (turns around and looks at the shelf of canned food) Chili sounds good tonight. (Takes a can and leaves)
DT: The awareness or lack of awareness of how VPNs work is just painful.
Nancy: The 4th wall has been torn down so completely that reality and the imagination easily cross over into each other’s realm – nah, just didn’t have any other ideas.
FG: Flash has a death wish doesn’t he? Does he has some insecurity? Inadequacy? Guilt complex over something? Why is he always trying to get killed.
JP: Charlotte is so polite – she figures that Sophie’s dog/horse figure is so bad, that maybe she can help and encourage Sophie. Soon Sophie will be drawing at a 3rd grade level.
Phantom: Putin on the phone again, pleading with the Bagallan’s to get some of these crack anti-drone javelin guards. Forget EMP, anti-drone missiles, shotguns, lasers, just good classic shafts of wood. Solid, replenishable eco friendly wood.
I guess Dithers didn’t need to send Dagwood to Room 101 to get him to admit that 2+2=5. I’m… relieved?
MW: sigh I fear they’re going with “Tommy hears one bad thing and immediately goes back on the drugs.” I could almost accept that, except it means Wilbur was right about Tommy all along.
DtM: No, her mother knows that Dennis has a penchant for “innocently” repeating the judgmental gossip that he hears from adults. She’s afraid that her trash-talking of Henry and Alice will get back to them.
Daze: There are viewers who have a non-supernatural explanation for the pantry opening in The Shining. I’m sure they’d also explain away today’s Daddy Daze, the daddy himself gave his son the fake bus transfer sometime between panels one and two.
Blondie: I’m impressed that Blondie has captured an actual ritual of modern day offices: standing around in front of the flatscreen in the breakroom and having just awful conversations.
DTM: This is one of those days when I wish Dennis the Menace were a multi-panel feature on the weekdays, namely so we could just get a few extra silent panels of a shellshocked Dennis standing alone on the sidewalk, staring at those clouds that are … right next to him? Wait, where they hell are they?
FC-“The sink won’t swallow.” Neither does Mommy.
RMMD-It’s a shame that Uncle Jimmy has to live underground way out in the middle of nowhere.
It’s a yellow card! Very subtle, Daddy Daze. Very subtle indeed. A tie in to World Cup fever! You thought you’d get away with it to, what with not having it do anything in any way with yellow cards in soccer, but it wasn’t subtle enough. FIFA will be contacting you to get their share of the profits from this comic.
***
As a Canadian I’m not going to bother with temperature conversion and will just pretend everyone in Blondie is dying in agony as the water in their bodies starts boiling.
***
Dennis’ behaviour has him being ostracized by the families of short Avon representatives from 1970.
JP: No! Draw you!
Sophie draws the flesh eating horses of Greek myth
“That’s better”
DD — “Heeeeere’s Daddy!”
Blondie — Dagwood must be one of those sheeple I keep reading about on the internet. . . And frankly, demanding that he wake up is pointless when he’s napping.
Dennis, Menaced — That young lady has quite a future as a wedding planner, , ,
DD: Okay, this one is good.
Blondie: “She also said that I should get a raise….” *POW POW POW* “Yeah, but she’s a woman, but I can get away with beating you up and kicking you! After all these years, workplace violence is still fun! Ha ha ha ha!”
“My mother was afraid you’d actually show up! She hates the Irish, said she didn’t want that ‘Mick Menace’ in her house. I mean, she’s got No Irish Need Apply signs all over the house. Not sure what it’s all about. Oh, you’re Scottish? Well, she hates them too. All Gaelic types. You should hear what she says about Bretons, and I think she might actually have murdered a Cornishman!”
@Scratchy Scrotum LXIX:
And, of course, the punchline to my favorite joke is, “Lady, if you think I’m hanging around for 66 more of those, you’re crazy.”
Love the fucking Goofy joke – it’s a standard in our house.
My favorite punchlines are:
His pants fit like a glove!
Uhhh… I’ll take the soup…
What can I get for a rib?
Dennis might’ve shown up and said something modestly ruder than one of the Keane kids.
Blondie: I mean, Dithers does have a point: the apparent temperature is the one people experience, and Dagwood trying to console him buy saying “you know, it’s probably only about 99, practically chilly!” is small comfort at best.
DD: Today’s strip sent me down a rabbit hole of nostalgia as I remembered the horsie ride at the grocery used to cost a mere penny, and that the local King Soopers had such a ride up to the point when the Divalings could enjoy it and the cashiers would give them pennies at checkout for it, and now not only is the ride itself gone but pennies are also on their way out. So congrats to Daddy Daze for actually eliciting an emotional response from me today, even if that response was deep mourning for a world lost.
@Old School Allie Cat: You have to do the Goofy punchline in The Voice. It’s ten times funnier that way.
MW: A distraught Tommy runs through the halls where he runs into Mary standing with a young woman in an outfit of questionable taste. Mary takes his hand and puts it in Trashlee’s. “Stay in your lane, son.”
C’shaft: On one hand, this would explain Harry’s obsession with being the World’s Greatest Band Director, as he desperately seeks approval and accolades from others in order to feel validated. On the other hand, he’s still an insufferable jerk.
DT: I mean, when you’re referencing World of Warcraft, a game that hasn’t been culturally relevant for about a decade, you’re already admitting you didn’t bother to research your story. The bizarre conception of what a VPN actually is and does is just further confirmation.
Dustin: Clearly defining and expressing your goals is an important first step in achieving them…except in the Dustinverse, where clearly defining and expressing your goals is an important first step in being mocked as a loser who will never achieve anything.
FG: Let’s give Flash Gordon credit for having characters that not only don’t look they were drawn by aliens who had humans described to them but are actually kind of attractive. I mean, I don’t go for the blonde action hero type but I wouldn’t kick last panel Flash out of bed for eating crackers.
JP: You know what, let’s forget about Ronnie’s relationship problems and follow Charlotte messing with Sophie instead.
MT: Happy’s topper looks like something the Cat in the Hat would wear to a funeral.
MW: Wilbur’s being hypocritical and overprotective regarding Dawn’s relationship with Tommy, but Tommy’s about to do something rash and stupid based on incomplete information he’s just overheard, so who’s the real jerk? (Trick question, it’s still Wilbur. It’s always Wilbur.)
RMMD: They’re so evil, even their wine is black!
Blondie:
Today’s strip doesn’t really seem to have any discernible punchline, but considering the Blondie creative team’s well-established fascination with current events, I think it’s actually a very meta gag about all the discourse around Europe’s lack of air conditioning that was prompted by the recent heat wave. “Hey Europeans!” says Blondie. “Thanks to air conditioning, during our heat wave our old people aren’t dying in nursing homes and instead are idly discussing the weather while still wearing their heavy waistcoats! Get on our level!”
@Joe Blevins: I think they’re supposed to be bushes.
But the colorist said “I don’t give a f***”
Which is really, the mission statement of every comic creator Josh features on this site.
Dennis the Menace
I’m intrigued by the fact that this little girl seems to have sincerely wanted to invite Dennis to her birthday party. She would have loved to have him ruin all the careful planning her mother put into the event. This shows that while Dennis may have lost this particular battle, he’s winning the war for the hearts and minds of the neighborhood children. Soon he will have enough followers to end the Tall Ones’ tyranny once and for all.
“What’s that? A piece of yellow paper has manifested from thin air? How strange. Allow me to peruse it. Ah, a fragment of a play.
Camilla: You, sir, should unmask.
Stranger: Ba ba?
Cassilda: Indeed it’s time. We have all laid aside disguise but you.
Stranger: Ba ba ba ba.
Camilla: No mask? No mask!”
“Ba ba ba!”
“Yes, I have seen the yellow sign.”
Wow, Dagwood and Dithers are members of entirely different hominin species, aren’t they? Dagwood and Blondie herself are too, now that I think about it. I wonder what racists (speciesist?) in the Blondiverse have to say about their marriage, and offspring? I wonder if Elmo is in the same species as Dithers? He sure isn’t in Homo Dagwoodicus
Blondie – Blondie’s boobs are only 38DD, but they feel like 42DDD….
DtM – Oh…and I think you’re a selfish, inconsiderate asshole. Nothing personal, though….
Adios Amigos, DJ.