People love daughters … daughters who kill
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Judge Parker, 7/8/26
Hey, remember when Neddy tried to be a TV writer, and managed to sell Netflix a pilot about April, the violent, terrifying CIA assassin daughter-in-law of the strip’s namesake? Well, having run out of ideas after her first idea, she’s now trying to pitch a TV show about Ann, the violent, terrifying scam artist daughter of the strip’s namesake. She’s gonna keep at it until she runs out of daughters!
Mother Goose and Grimm, 7/8/26
So the way a joke works, usually, is that you start with a setup that’s grounded in the known and the expected, and then you hit your audience with a surprising twist. Like, imagine beloved cartoon character Bugs Bunny giving us his classic line, “What’s up, doc?” That’s expected. But then the point of view expands, and we can see that he’s not just delivering a saucy greeting — he’s actually requesting medical data from a doctor, who has some tough news for him. Now, would that be a good joke? Enh, not really. But, I submit to you, it would be recognizable as a joke, in a way that today’s Mother Goose and Grimm most definitely is not.
Luann, 7/8/26
Luann, meanwhile, is beyond “jokes,” and I respect it. Bernice is going to become an influencer for toilet perverts! There’s some backstory leading up to this, but honestly you don’t need it.
46 replies to “People love daughters … daughters who kill”
I assume it has been taken off the roll to fold, and fold well, so either Bernice likes to spin the TP roll like an especially dopey cat, or her post is a BIG cry for help. Few will notice.
Bugs sure does look fat and hungover for a guy we never see eat anything other than carrots. I TOLD you Big Carrot was naught but a purveyor of lies!
No comment on the storyline, but I think that’s the first time I’ve seen any character not in the actual Marvel comics acknowledge the existence of Jubilee from X-Men, which still puts her above any Luann character in terms of relevance.
“Anyway, didn’t Sophie leave you in Norway, slightly-brownish person? Do…do we all get a slightly-brownish person? Abbey is missing out, here!”
JP – Inspired by a true story = total hogwash….
MG&G – Everything but those Medicare/Medicaid reimbursement rates…right doc….
Luann – Bernice’s new blog – My Daily Poo….
Adios Amigos, DJ.
Crankshaft vs Luann : I wasn’t expecting today’s strip to be “your uncharitable reading of yesterday’s strip? TOTALLY CORRECT!” for BOTH these strips. Harry Dinkle really DID choose to become a dictatorial asshole as a cover for low self-esteem from never having received validation from his dad (and is expecting people to feel sympathy for the latter while ignoring the despotic former), Bernice Halper really IS scolding people for posting about what they’re doing during the summer because she wants them to acknowledge her as the “better” person again!
(I swear I didn’t look ahead when I posted yesterday
because I forgot how)*************
Judge Parker : She’s gonna keep at it until she runs out of daughters!
…I thought Neddy was younger than either April OR Ann… Though I admit, I have NO IDEA how any of the Parker-Spencer-Drivers are related… I mean, I also routinely get JP and RMMD confused with each other, so…
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ALSO LUANN : Yeah, what is with this comic and Bernice doing toilet stuff? At least this time, it’s off-panel, rather than us having to watch her meticulously put toilet paper on the seat, and carefully sit down.
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Mother Goose & Grimm : “Though, all in all, you’re pretty good shape for an octogenarian in PEOPLE years, to say nothing of your age in rabbit years. Definitely better shape than my other patient, Ted Buttlick or whatever (he’s a sleazy “lawyer”, though the only thing he ever seems to do at his firm is eat all the donuts in the break room).”
MW: Dammit, I hoped I was wrong, but it looks like Moy is going there. So we’re to believe that Tommy spent weeks depressed because Brandy left him and never thought once of going back on drugs — but one unkind word from Wilbur Weston sends him back?
Luann: Ironic that Bernice’s toilet paper origami demonstrates the futility of the impermanence of existence in the most permanently stagnant comic in existence.
MG: So close to Big Chungus reaching the funny pages!
Judge Parker:
“Of course, Neddy, whatever the story, it’s better than anything this strip produces!”
Mother Goose and Grimm:
“Doc, coming to see you is a hare-raising experience!”
Mother Goose and Grimm:
“And if these conditions converge, Bugs, I’m afraid I’ll be saying ‘That’s all, folks!’ “
Judge Parker:
What’s on the end of that fork, anyway? — it looks like used Play-Doh.
MW: Last time we had a plot where Tommy was confronted by the demons of his past, an old friend shoved a crack pipe in his face and Tommy managed to resist it. And now Moy expects me to worry that he’s going to relapse due to the judgment of Wilbur Weston? No. He’s going to go to the pharmacy, buy every drug test they have, and force the Westons to watch as he urinates into the sample cups. He will maintain eye contact with Wilbur the entire time.
Give Bugs a break. Eighty-six is really old for a rabbit.
JP: Is Ronnie supposed to be eating tortellini? Shrimp? A very small, misshapen croissant? One of Ursula the sea witch’s lipsticks?
@Bob Tice, @Lauralot: I was more fixated on the way she’s holding the fork, like she’s about to perform a self-tracheotomy. But now that you point it out, this is something of a Naked Lunch moment.
MG&G: Bugs Bunny eats nothing but carrots, so frankly if he’s having cholesterol problems, the rest of us just need to give up with our diets entirely.
Luann I choose to believe this is nothing more than Bernice showing how you can get a nice point on the end of the roll like a hotel’s setup (*fingers in ears and eyes screwed shut* *lalalalalalaaaa I’m not listening…*)
@Dennis Jimenez:
#5 LUANN: “My Daily Poo”– and she has a predrawn emoji to use.
LUANN: It’s a good thing The Evans’ aren’t that internet savvy, so the infamous Princess Bride meme can roll right over their heads.
LUANN (2): I also appreciate that even though Bernice got the pity validation she so desperately wanted, she’s still moaning and complaining anyway*, because that’s just the kind of fun, pleasant-to-be-around personality that makes her such an “introvert.”
*Yeah I know it’s “mean” to blame Bernice when her creators are the ones whispering in her ear going, “Damn it, it’s only Wednesday! We need to stretch out this story, stat! Yes, that’s it girl, pad out that screentime!”
@Ken: In the context of this strip, I can think of at least one thing wrong with that title!
RMMD The finger-nerve-damage plague throughout the comics world is now spreading, with symptoms expanding from just claw-spasm phone grips to insane grabbing of wine glass bases…
(… or the artist drew the fingers on the left and right, the glasses clinking, and then noticed that having the wine stems go through the fingers reasonably would have two very different lengths, decided to plop the wine glass base wherever and go off to make their tee time.)
GT *sigh* It takes two seconds to check what an Instax-style camera looks like and where the button is. Oh, who am I kidding, if the artist took two seconds to compose the sketch, we wouldn’t have one earring floating off Keri and hovering both above the ear and several inches out from the face to be in front of the camera
MW Ditto to all the “he’s already faced worse, good grief”. What I don’t get is that from what I understand of the typical addictions program (especially 12-step), wouldn’t Tommy have the idea of you’re an addict but not a drug user, you will be dealing with this one day at a time (the “I’m an alcoholic” AA idea despite sobriety). This should be something he’s already faced in himself, so who cares that Wilbur says it
“That’s my scorn voice, not my envy voice,” says Bernice, using her “disdain” voice.
MG&G: This could be the first doctor review that reads, “Whatta maroon!”
RMMD: Dear artist: Granted, you’re not Albrecht Durer, but you do hands pretty well. Why then, oh why, are they holding their wine glasses like the people in “Mary Worth” hold phones?
MW: Upon learning that Wilbur has sent Tommy spiraling downward, what will Mary say? “Judge not, lest ye be judged?” “Everyone deserves a new start?” “If you can’t stop being a moron, at least soundproof your apartment?”
Luann: Hmm…reading from left to right: envy, anger, acedia, and lust, with implicit pride all over the place because this is Bernice we’re talking about after all. We look to be only gluttony and greed away from a remake of Seven ending with Luann’s head in a box, and I for one could not be happier!
JUDGE PARKER: Ronnie* better watch out, because super-deep tan indicates that she’s almost ready to become her own “Black best friend.”
*Sophie’s BFF is gone so this actress is free to play “Ronnie” again, right?
JUDGE PARKER (2): “By the way, that’s the sort of thing you tell in person, not over the phone…preferably to someone who won’t interrupt your explanation with pointless non-sequiturs.”
MW: does Tommy not realize Wilbur is an idiot and a waste of skin who’s never not even once, expressed an intelligent thought? I am holding out hope Wilbur’s stupidity will lead Iris to make a quick return to Charterstone for the sole purpose of setting Wilbur on fire.
MW: What in the hell is the narrative direction of this?
CS: What in the hell is the narrative direction of this?
Luann: What in the hell is the narrative direction of this?
Judge Parker: I’m going to go with “shrimp scampi” as the most interesting thing about all of this, because Lord knows Reena sure seems to.
MG&G:
Editor: “Can’t we get a name? Is Sonic available?”
But then the joke doesn’t work?!
Ed. “Ÿeah, about that.”
@CanuckDownSouth: For those with better memories and/or search skills: Did Tommy join an addiction program when he stopped using? Sadly I’d bet in this strip the answer is no, and all it took was one meddle from Mary (“You’ve just got to want to change”) for him to stop using.
Ugh, I now suspect that rather than going to either his dealer or his sponsor, he’s going to run into Mary and she’ll straighten him up with a pithy line from Spinoza or Dylan Thomas or whoever Moy is misquoting this week.
S4th: “Burma-Shave.”
Luann – I’ve been sucked down more than one rabbit hole watching people clean a rug that was stored at the bottom of a mud pit, or someone who restores wedding dresses with mystery stains. I’ve even sat through someone restocking their child’s snack fridge. So, what people will stick around for on social media doesn’t surprise me. I’m people. You want to show me your dog using voice recorded buttons to tell you he loves you? I’m in.
Judging by panel two, Bernice’s influencer shtick should be “the amazing phone levitator”
Luann: Oh, that’s why I dislike most influencers. It’s envy. Because they’re doing… things.
Apparently, I’m one of the “Bernices” of the world, and I should put down my guitar and stop editing my podcast/latest short story to clean my bathroom and take pictures of it. Don’t I feel skewered!
Chix (sic): Having momma chicken rubbing her sore ass after complaining to papa chicken about her daily pounding is a nice touch.
FC: “Ï’m tired of being emotionally stable. I want to flit around like Richard Simmons.”
Mother Goose and Grimm-“Then what’s down?” “Your carrot has gone limp.”
RMMD-Tomorrow. “Ya got my cigarettes?”
MW-“I’ll show Dawn’s father how much of an addict I am.”
“Vlogging my Log” with Bernice is surprisingly popular among the ASMR crowd.
Luann-At least Bernice didn’t post a picture of her on the toilet.
Thorpe:
“Enma, Never change! Cunt…”
Frankly, I’m having trouble following these Barajas penned GT story lines.
@CanuckDownSouth:
Re: MW, Tommy, and 12 steps. I believe you are correct, but I don’t think “addict” is the proper terminology. NA is a similar model to AA, so Tommy should be able to brush that off, especially if (as suggested) he’s been clean for more than just a few days and going to meetings regularly.
But not for nothing, everyone—even Tommy—knows Wilbur Weston is a capital Loser who has a drinking problem of his own. Why should Tommy care what a drunk like Wilbur (who can’t regulate his own behavior) thinks?
FLASH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!: Today, Flash and Fria join the Mile-High Club.
Phantom: I know the villagers are shocked by the sudden crash, blam, and boom. But they should be impressed by the aim and throw of the guards… is it still an old timey derogative term “spear chucker” being resurrected!?
Rex Morgan: These girls have a lot to learn from their uncle about grifting – being seen in their grift gear when not active, hanging around near the scene of the crime, talking about the scam in public.
DT: So, a popular chair, an order from a neo-chicago restaurant and a ping to a game server in north america leads the cyber hounds here. Please let the result be that the three digital dweebs we saw earlier accidentally got one of their computers infected and someone far away in central or east asia used it as a relay point to create the hack.
JP: Neddy is just doing what authors are always being told – write what you know. She knows about bashing people on the head with wrenches and incoherent adventures without conclusions or plotting.
@A Grave Mind: “Bugs sure does look fat and hungover for a guy we never see eat anything other than carrots. I TOLD you Big Carrot was naught but a purveyor of lies!”
Yeah, but I’ll bet his vision is fantastic! [Does ten seconds of research] Oh, goddammit!
@CanuckDownSouth: I do think that’s the intention here: Bernice mentions that she “tidies,” so in the next panel she’s posted a picture of the toilet she’s cleaned with anal (pun not intended) diligence. But since most people only fold toilet paper as a prelude to using it, the punchline creates all the wrong mental images.