Wednesday is for tragic antiheroes
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The Phantom, 7/15/26
Ahh, it looks like the promised Nomad-Python supervillain teamup really is happening, coordinated by the mysterious “Ignis Vindicta” (JUST KIDDING HE IS NOT MYSTERIOUS HE IS CLEARLY OBVIOUS ELON MUSK STANDIN “IAN MOLLUSK” WEARING A MASK). Anyway, it’s kind of funny that freeing the Nomad involved elaborately working through a web of corruption in order to extract him from Guantanamo Bay, something only someone extremely wealthy and connected could do, whereas freeing the Python just required sending some mid-range drones to blow up the big open-air cage they keep him in. Sounds like someone could’ve done that a while ago, if they had shown any initiative!
Mark Trail, 7/15/26
Meanwhile, just as Mark’s dad is trying to get married to his scam gorilla sanctuary catfish girlfriend, Rusty’s raccoon adventure has descended into full-on folk horror. Back off, scouts! Dunno if they give out a badge for “recognizing when your friend has rabies and is beginning to succumb to madness,” but your friend has rabies and is definitely beginning to succumb to madness!
54 replies to “Wednesday is for tragic antiheroes”
More terrifying: Rusty’s apparent overlordship over rabies-carrying, garbage-feasters, or that the sky is now a gigantic Simon? DISCUSS.
I enjoy that, instead of instantly fleeing, Python opts to flex so unnecessarily, it puts Top Gun Rick Rossovich to shame.
Billionaires obsessed with creating apocalyptic bunkers in which to survive the apocalypse/revolution, always face the same problem: how do you keep servants, especially armed servants, loyal to you. They fantasise about installing explosives on their neck or mind control, but the truth is that society is the only things that make the division of labour and hierarchy on which their wealth is based possible and a society considered unfair is more brittle. Now Mollusk might believe that Python is “in our debt and our service”, but I don’t see why this criminal should care about social obligations. You can disrupt and break things and you think others won’t do the same because of their low IQ? Worry about your IQ!
Phantom. “The Python is free…and in our service!” Just when you thought a comic strip about a muscular man in purple tights and a striped speedo couldn’t get more homoerotic…
What a change for good the new Mark Trail has been! Now Rusty is deranged and interesting to read. It used to be that Rusty was less interesting than Sneaky the Raccoon (remember him?). Hell, he was less interesting than a taxidermy raccoon!
Phantom:
“But remember, Python — NO TANK TOPS!”
“New friends” implies Rusty had friends. I gotta say the writing in the new Mark Trail is unbelievable.
Between Friends : Are we supposed to take this at face value and see Simon as a valuable sweetheart? He imposed himself and forced her to let him move into her appartment! He stole her cellphone, purposefully missed her calls, and deleted said calls to jealously control her social life! Now that he has money again, he’s planning to move away forever without telling her where he’s going! He’s not a sweetheart, he’s a jerk! …Or is it just me?
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Crankshaft : I wonder if Davis knew that Batiuk was going to go for a “dramatic, silent week” when he drew these strips. Because to me it looks like those strips are MEANT to have big expository dialogue speech bubbles, like, they’re not evocative enough to stand on their own.
…. this needs to be building up to a big plot twist to justify this “artistic” choice. I’m talking “Larry Dinkle was MY father too, that’s why I kept the music sheets” big.
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Mark Trail : I admit, Rusty Trail turning into a raccoon-themed supervillain wasn’t something I expected.
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Phantom : @A Grave Mind: , yeah, what if the Python just runs away in the opposite direction, and melts into the jungle, never to be seen again
(for this storyline, he’d probably return in a subsequent one)? DoesMolluskVindicta just go, “ah, well, nevertheless!” and continue his scheme one villain short?Mark Trail:
“Our heads are squished like this because we were accidentally exposed to the gravity of Jupiter!”
MT: “Can you really make friends with a raccoon?” Narration Box lays the foundation for a future stake in the raccoon fur trade.
Mark Trail
Is it truly madness as a function of The Rabies or an inherent condition of just being a Rusty Trail which is more akin to the personification of Tetanus?
That’s a great recommendation, I’ve been meaning to read The Enthusiast. The Phantom’s still a classic, and I’m excited to see what this Nomad-Python teamup brings.
Phantom:
“Do you hear me!?”
Wow. That drone is singing the lyrics to Missing Persons’ ’80s smash hit “Words.”
Ph: Let’s see if Chatu is any faster on the uptake that Schmelon Schmusk’s little ‘mind control’ doohickey merely sends the illusion of the hybrid B@tm@n/Phantom and if you simply remind yourself that it’s all an illusion you could simply snap the doohickey in two, and then snap Schmusk’s neck in two. Anyone else sensing some wish fulfilment in the offing?
RMMD: Today’s strip made me laugh. It was an ironic laugh, but a laugh all the same.
Wary Morth:
Oh, Dawn doesn’t believe in using protection?
…Mary’s meddle sense is already muffing.
Mark Trail:
Rusty looks as if he’s just ingested whatever it was that the Christopher Atkins and Brooke Shields characters took at the end of “The Blue Lagoon.”
MW: Meanwhile, Mary has invited Wilbur for BANANA MUFFINS but will serve him the day-old ZUCCHINI MUFFINS that were left over from her visit with Dawn. Let’s see if he can tell the difference…!
Mark Trail:
Now Rusty’s raccoon
Fell back in his room
Only to find Gideon’s Bible.
@Anonymous: On Phantom – As we’ve already figured out, Schmusk is a ‘flamethrower to kill a fly’ kind of person. So he’d probably just start leveling the jungle like the villain in ‘Fern Gully’ until he caught Chatu again, possibly forgetting all about why he wanted Chatu in the first place.
Meanwhile the Ghost Whose Time Passed Long Ago sits in his treasure cave. ‘What’s that?’ he wonders as he reads for the umpteenth time how his ancestors ‘heroically’ protected the childlike natives from themselves before screwing his hot wife under a waterfall.
Those raccoons are just using Rusty for his pancake and syrup connections.
MT: I don’t know what I like more- the photo-bombing raccoon in P2 or the bipedal one in P4, who is growing to human size.
MW: The implication is that someone is going to fend Tommy off with a muffin gun.
RMMD: “Uncle Jimmy” is savvy, no doubt, but I don’t think he fully appreciates the fact that these two would sell his kidneys if they could get their hands on them.
MW: I am now considering it canon that Mary bakes two dozen muffins every day, on the chance someone wants to come over. Also that most evenings, Mary sits alone, eating the two dozen muffins and hoping that tomorrow someone, anyone, will drop by.
Oh, wait, she wouldn’t be completely alone, she now has a cat. Although, when did we last see the cat? If it doesn’t show up during Wilbur’s visit, should we contact the SPCA for a wellness visit?
The Familiar Mucus: “You always gotta have the BIG salad™,Mommy!”
Mark Trail:
Perhaps this is a sign of an overly-libidinous mind, but to me “sticks and leaves in a fictional character’s hair” signifies that they just had a lot of outdoor sex, which in this case is disturbing for a number of reasons, first among them being that it’s Rusty.
I fully endorse Rusty abandoning the stresses of his modern life to live free among the raccoons.
@StripEye:
Your contributions to this site and related commentary does not go unnoticed
MW Banana muffins aren’t a good contraceptive, Mary! Uh-oh, maybe the Meddler-In-Chief needs to be evaluated for Alzheimer’s. On the other hand, it’s not like the advice she gives could get much _worse_ with dementia.
PBS “Supposed to die” today, not “isn’t likely to make it till tomorrow”, yikes. The least-grim implication is that Pig doesn’t realize the guy’s out of it on life support that the family is having withdrawn.
@Maverick: Is that the official euphemism for “spambot!” now? (:
The Phantom: [Extremely Tom Servo voice] Oh, I get it: they call him “Python” because [channel abruptly changes]
Mark Trail: Rusty, like all members of the Trail family, represents a rich source of insects, worms, and small animals, as well as fruits and nuts, such as acorns and walnuts. I am not a raccoon.
MT: Just as all animals evolve into crabs given enough time, all Mark Trail artists evolve into drawing hideous plague-infected raccoons befriending naive soon-to-be plague-infected children.
I’m imagining the Monty Python theme music accompanying the Python whenever he makes an entrance.
@Austria: Do you give him a week or just eleven minutes?
The Python? I see two pythons breaking free there, brother!
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There has been a story making the rounds recently that raccoons may be becoming more domesticated. I don’t think the same could be said about Rusty.
@Maverick:
Man, what level of unreality are we achieving here? Do I need to help a cartoon rabbit beat the rap?
@Ettorre: Hey, taxidermied raccoons are international news and far more interesting than Rusty Trail!
“The python is free and in our service!”
“What are you talking about? The Python is still behind bars!”
“Impossible; we just blew up the reptile house at the zoo and I can see the python heading into the undergrowth!”
“Oh, for God’s sake . . . can we pick a less ambiguously-named villain next time? This is just like the time we sent you to free the Shark and you killed all those poor fish at the aquarium!”
@Pozzo:
[Ol’ Man Mozz stumbles out of the jungle towards the camera]
OMM: IT’S!
*BONG!*
Voice of John Cleese: Schmelon Schmusk’s Fly-ying Cir-kussss!
[Giant purple spandex-clad foot crushes entire cast, credits roll]
Maybe this is a lead-in to Weekend at Mitch’s.
@Maverick: Now I’m genuinely starting to wonder, if trolls are pretending to be bots, just to mess with us.
@Vulpes: Mark Trail:
Perhaps this is a sign of an overly-libidinous mind, but to me “sticks and leaves in a fictional character’s hair” signifies that they just had a lot of outdoor sex, which in this case is disturbing for a number of reasons, first among them being that it’s Rusty.
Second among them being the consideration of what you get if you cross a Rusty with a raccoon–especially when they are drawn by Jules Rivera. My god, it could be ANYTHING!
The Phantom: Yep, that’s how it works! You let any dangerous person out of a cage, and they have to do what you say! Try this at home, kids!
DT: OK – with a very popular game there could be thousands if not tens of thousands of people online, people can also spoof accounts and have multiple dummy accounts. It would be nice to see Fritz Ann and Sam play games for weeks and never actually come up with any definite suspect! Maybe this will be a new modern phase of DT – like Soly Tare, the hacker will just get away…:)
JP: Neddy actually shows she is a seasoned TV/movie pro – she already understands one tried and true concept. Take an idea and grind and beat it to death again and again. For doubters see Baywatch, Baywatch After Dark, and soon the NEW improved Baywatch…
MW: And so it begins …
Phantom: Why isn’t the Python making like his name sake and slithering into the bushes. Then the drones can pursue him with loud speakers blaring “Come back Chatu, come back”. The Phantom and the Wambisi guards along with the Jungle Patrol follow the commotion and recapture Chatu and knock down the drones with more javelins.
RMMD: Okay, I get it, this is a backdoor pilot idea – where the new central character is “Jimmy” aka Rene and we see his many misadventures (like Better Call Saul) and it is produced by Neddy from JP.
MT-Tomorrow Rusty sicks the racoons on the campers. Rusty standing there with a sinister smile on his face watching the campers get mauled to death.
Blondie-It’s funny because the writer threw in a bunch of stuff that they heard is popular and current but have no idea what any of it is.
FC-Billy, stop hitting on your mother.
MW-“Maybe he’ll finally choke this time on one of my muffins,” Mary thinks to herself.
RMMD-Having Renee just stops this series dead.
“You’re too late,” Rusty said in a low growl. “Procyon rises, and so do my friends. The stars are right, and I have made the proper sacrifices and propitiations. Unlike you, I have studied the forbidden merit badges: Summoning and Control, Animal Friendship, and Citizenship in the Occult World. There will be no more Eagle Scouts, and I rise as the first Raccoon Scout! Destroy them, my friends!”
Well someone FINALLY figured out how to set the volume for Crankshaft at “Minus Ten.”
@blammers66:
Is this like Hitchcock’s Rear Window. We’ll see Eugene close on Lily and choke her out without hearing what is said?
“The Python is free and in our debt and in our service”: me when I finally learn to code
RMMD – if this meeting ends in them mock toasting “to EVIL!!” I will personally buy the original, frame it, and hang it prominently.
MT: No. Next question.
Phantom: There’s some interesting subtext to be had the expy for a man who posts extensively about Great Replacement theory and whose family may or may not have been involved in apartheid-era mining operations effectively shackling a couple of Black men and forcing them to do his dirty work for him, but I somehow doubt the comic strip that continues to sidestep the colonialist nature of its title character is going to explore that angle.
JP – Ann says what the readers have been thinking.
My intense loathing for this strip is on hold just for today. However, I still loathe Neddy and the rest of the family, especially Sophie and Alan.
Mary Worth – Remember when Mary was filling in for Wilbur on his column? Her solutions to readers’ problems was long, rambling essays on her philosophy of life.
The Big Book O’ Platitudes and the Meddle A Day calendar are going to get a workout.
Rex Morgan – Didn’t Lyle Ollman write the Mirakle Method as a serious program, and Rene was the one who stole it and turned it into a scam? In any case, this attempt at crime is laughably low stakes and underwhelming. However, if Beatty attempted to write a serious crime story, it would make the cloak and dagger crap in JP look like John Le Carre.
9CL – OMG! Guy lives! Polly didn’t do a praying mantis on him after their boinkfest.
Crankshaft – Are we supposed to have any idea what these gestures mean? Are we supposed to care?
Frazz – Add Smartphones to the list of things Frazz and Caulfield are superior to.
@The Rambling Otter:
It is possible you may be inserting imaginary compliments or approval into my comment.
@Anonymous: Re Between Friends – No, you’re not the only one.
Yes, The Enthusiast is the greatest book since Moby Dick! No need to have A Grave Mind about sinking the Pequod, here!