Honestly surprised that toilet lid isn’t carpeted
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Pluggers, 8/29/26
The key to unlocking this scene, to my mind, is the cobwebs. Pluggers now spend all their pooping time doomscrolling just like the rest of us, but unlike the rest of us are letting their long-abandoned late ’00s Reader’s Digests moulder, unread, untouched, and unloved, which really raises questions about when the last time anything in that bathroom was cleaned in general.
Rex Morgan, M.D., 8/29/26
Against all odds and the pressures of the very fabric of their reality, the scam twins were on the verge of talking themselves into doing something interesting like kidnapping Sarah. That’s why the strip had to call in the big guns, in the form of their grandpa Lyle Ollman, inventor of the Ollman Technique, the self-help/brainwashing process now being marketed as the Mirakle Method. I don’t know that we’ve ever actually seen the Technique/Method in action, but based on today’s strip it seems to mostly involve an old man berating you to get your life together and maybe go back to community college, which is frankly a little underwhelming.
Beetle Bailey, 8/29/26
I genuinely enjoy Beetle’s silent body language here. “I’m just gonna … I’m gonna go eat these chips in my bunk, I think.”
37 replies to “Honestly surprised that toilet lid isn’t carpeted”
Pluggers:
But of course, the articles in National Geographic Magazine are timeless.
RMMD:
“Dang it, Grandpa — you’re no fun at all. In other words, you’re just like Rex Morgan!”
RMMD:
“Can’t you, like, bust a move to amuse us, Grandpa? — you know, like ‘Do the Freddy’ or something?”
Beetle Bailey:
“They get intoxicated by eating fermented fruit. That’s what gives them that ‘deer in the headlights‘ look!”
RMMD: “Now get out of here before I use my magic wand on you!”
B. Bailey: “Hmm, I saw some rotten apples in the mess hall dumpster.” Thinks Beetle.
BB: I really thought this was building to a ribald joke – maybe the drunk deer got HORNY! – and I think Beetle did too. Look how underwhelmed he is that Sarge is just busting out the cervid trivia.
Pluggers: The proportions of that toilet just seem off. Do pluggers buy High-Flow models just to stick it to the jerks at the EPA?
RMMD: Just an incredible ending to this storyline. Ocean’s 11 really could have used a scene where Brad Pitt’s grandpa just wandered in and told them not to do that, ending the whole heist then and there.
BB: Sarge finally figures out a use for fruit.
Mary Worth:
“Thomas, something really eldritch is happening in this joint! — someone has insinuated themselves into our first panel today and replaced Mary’s and my regular eyes with crazy eyes!”
Yeah Otto. They can’t hold their liquor, that’s why they’re drunk. You’re the smart one, shouldn’t you be able to think of a pun here?
RMMD “Yes, stop that Con artist nonsense right now and go to school to learn enough to do it _properly_ – those only-work-on-the-brain-damaged schemes of yours are _embarrassing_, and I can’t believe you had to be _told_ kidnapping gets investigated more seriously than dine-and-dash!”
RMMD: Instead of Scared Straight the twins were mildly unbent.
GT Scholarship? Did they forget this is high school? I suppose it could mean available after graduation for college, but a full ride *where*? There are some huge differences in US college costs, and frankly if he plays well the *college* he applies to would be vying for his talent with money, not the *high school* he went to.
MW Actually, vaguely shrimp-shaped lumps *does* look delectable compared to Mary’s usual Beige Balls.
So they kept the Bum Boat going through Saturday. I am still vainly hoping for some Dawn Drama showing up as they bump into her on Sunday, but yeah, it’ll probably be the boat ride platitude fest. Or they’ll still be at the Bum Boat talking about how *exciting* they are as they vary their food order. Yeah, 4 quatloos on Bum Boat “we are *such* rebels” tomorrow
JP Was he really only in jail/ prison awaiting trial? I thought he was convicted of something minor, is this a retcon?
Luann: So after all these years, she’s eleven classes away from getting a two year degree? That’s not even halfway there!
CS: No, Mindy, a South Park character would have said something funny. Or at least something that advances the storyline, a thing we haven’t seen in Crankshaft in at least two months.
@Banana Jr. 6000:
On Luann : she’d probably get it quicker if she took more than one or two classes per semester, but I guess she has to leave time for her part-time job at Weenie World, which leads me to ask : Why is she still working there? And how? She left for several months, and they just saved her spot?
On Crankshaft : It took me a while to understand that Mindy was saying that because she was referring to Pepper’s voice being high-pitched, sped up, and electronically modified. Calling Pepper an “Autotuned Automaton
/Trash Can” would have been better!(also, I won’t drop that Pepper’s debut should have been last week storyline; Crankshaft and Ralph Meckler roll up to Montoni’s, Crankshaft orders, tuesday he’s surprised by something we can’t see, wednesday it’s shown that it’s a robot waiter rolling up to deliver his order, thursday it’s “Meet Pepper, grandpa!”, and friday and saturday it’s Pepper demonstrating that it can keep up with Crankshaft’s malaprops while cutting a few barbs of it’s own. I just think that it’s a better debut than everyone just standing around talking, Mindy constantly whining that getting Pepper is a bad idea, and barely any indication that Pepper can even MOVE)
@Schroduck: I kind of thought BB was setting up any joke at all. “Have you seen this? Have you heard about this?”
RMMD-That’s not Grandpa! That’s Uncle Jimmy in a Grandpa skin suit.
The first panel of Beetle Bailey sounds like the setup for a joke. The second panel reminds you that you’re reading Beetle Bailey and how foolish it is to expect anything resembling humor.
Wary Morth:
“It looks delicious”, Mary says, scarcely able to control her anticipation as she eyes the arguing couple on the far side of the room.
@CanuckDownSouth:
Some of the big sports high schools in the US rival college in tuition costs.
“Did you hear the one about the drunk deer? They get intoxicated on fermented fruit!” – worst joke ever. There isn’t even a way to make it work. “A drunk deer walks into a bar. The bartender says, I can’t serve you any more fermented fruit.”
Six Chix: Women and their clothes! Ammirite? Wait – this is a woman cartoonist writing this?
DtM: “Oh, don’t worry about school, Dennis. I plan to let the rip tide take you out to sea.”
GT: Assault, kidnapping, and unlawful imprisonment may not be major offenses in The Valley, where coaches rule like lords, athletes are akin to knights, and those bound-and-gagged bartenders are mere serfs who exist to only serve and spectate, but having escaped the consequences of his actions, Gerads has moved on to more serious crimes: pay-for-play athletic headhunting at the secondary level!
RxMD: Don’t forget the third element of the
OldmanOllman Technique, Josh: Threatening to call the cops.RxMD Redux: I wonder how many other plots there are against the Morgans that never come to fruition that we never see and they are completely unaware of? I wouldn’t mind if the step entirely considered of those from now on and we never see the Morgans again except in the background.
“Did you hear about the drunk deer? It happened during a stag party!”
Speaking as a retired teacher, I don’t know who I’d rather see LESS in my class; The Dingbat Twins or Luann.
“Sarge? Aren’t we in a comic about military life?”
“Fuck if I know, private. Everything’s a blank for me after the Korean War. Is General MacArthur OK?”
@MKay:
Luann has the “advantage” that she always lets whoever is teaching the class she is attending single her out for humiliation; Mr Fogarty did it, Prof Zebo did it, Mrs Phelps-Fogarty did it, even Mrs Horner did it!
Cyclops Sarge holds Beetle et al. prisoner, to be devoured later. Explains why Sarge is frequently shown mashing up Beetle. Beetle’s too lazy to sharpen and fire-harden a wooden spear for an escape, anyway.
BB: This truly is an extraordinary age: plant-based meat substitutes are readily available, diamonds can be grown in labs rather than excavated from the earth by slave labor, and Beatle Bailey gives us the first completely punchline-free joke.
RMMD: Did Beatty catch an episode of Dora the Explorer and assume most criminals can be deterred with a “Swiper, no swiping!”-style scolding?
@MKay: Definitely the twins. Luann’s an idiot and you’ll have to explain everything to her at least five times, but she won’t make waves. The twins are the type of students who always try to pull fast ones on the teacher and can’t seem to grasp the fact that the teacher is in fact smarter than they are.
@Anonymous was me. Apparently I accidentally unclicked the “save my info” box.
Beetle Bailey: “Did you hear the one about the drunk deer? It’s not a punchline, just a fairly well-known fact!”
Also: Is it bad that Otto the man-dog hybrid has opinions about other animals’ drinking habits? Thinking it through, I’m certain that Sarge gives his dog beer. I just can’t figure out if Otto has enough agency to commit to alcoholism or not.
@pugfuggly: “Do pluggers buy High-Flow models just to stick it to the jerks at the EPA?” Pluggers never replaced the original toilet in the house they bought in 1952 with a VA loan.
FG: Ah, Ming, bless that man. He sure knows how to unite people! Though let’s not confuse winning the battle with winning the war.
FRAZZ: hey, Frazz, “Argyle Sweater” has a new challenge for you today.
JP: Was Alan really acquitted? He was certainly guilty and certainly in prison. Anyone know better?
LUANN: Community College I–She should be able to successfully complete 11 substantive courses in, say 20 years.
RMMD: Community College II– Without a goal to work for, the airhead twins should be able to successfully drop out in one week. Gramps, let them know they’ll then pay their own rent.
PHANTOM: Sure hope Python realized he could tear off his ankle bracelet because realistically Phantom cant dodge all that ammo. Kit knows about drones and should have calculated to take cover from the mind sending them.
S4th: are Sal and Ted going in with their socks on! They’ll be miserable with he rest of the day.
Plugger bathrooms are important to historians and archivists. Rarely do you find complete runs of The New American and The Dearborn Independent.
MW: Thomas uses an old bar towel to serve the platters because he ain’t putting *his* thumb in that slop.