Somewhat sexual Saturday
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Beetle Bailey, 9/5/26
Look, sometimes your partner is going to float some specific sexual kink — voyeurism, say — that you’re not on board with. How do you let them down gently? Many sexologists suggest deploying a terrible pun, which is widely recognized as the least erotic form of wordplay possible, as a good strategy to break the tension.
Dustin, 9/5/26
Gotta hand it to Dustin’s little friend here: obviously Dustin’s dad is the sort of guy who loves to rant about how the kids today with the selfies are ruining society, but is also a huge idiot who can barely work a phone, so by posing this question he was guaranteed either an entertainingly out-of-touch diatribe or a humiliating admission like this one.
Rex Morgan, M.D., 9/5/26
Oh, cool, the scam twins have been denied their chance to commit a major felony to avenge their uncle, so now they’re going to commit a major felony to get revenge on their uncle! This will be extremely fun, if it ever happens, which I’m sorry to report it almost certainly won’t.
Mary Worth, 9/5/26
oh no oh no where is Mary’s left hand where is Mary’s left hand
33 replies to “Somewhat sexual Saturday”
Mary Worth Mashup: Do you like Nelly, Unfiltered? How about Unfiltered with Reaction Shots?
Snuffy Smith: Will anyone under the age of Old Plugger understand this “joke” without Googling?
Dick Tracy: What’s the big guy sitting in front of, a dick lengthener for the massively obese? Pluggers’ll want in on that.
Rex Morgan: Focus, girls, focus! I can see it now: they’re going to waste their ire targeting their imprisoned uncle with the pseudonym instead of who should be their target, Rex Morgan and family.
Beetle Bailey: “Do you see what’s going on out there?”
“I do … they are doing actual boy/girl stuff, not just exchanging terrible puns. Any chance *we* could do some of that??”
Mary Worth:
“So I’m at this picnic years ago and I slide my music magazine effortlessly across the forest floor, and Helen says to me, ‘What exactly are you trying to depict by doing that, anyway, Ian?,’ and I say to her: ‘A Rolling Stone gathers no Moss!’ “
Dustin:
“Mr. K., are you one of those guys who basically constantly wears a pullover sweater, even though there’s no objective reason based on the temperature to have that additional article of clothing?”
“Pretty much, yeah.”
MW: Mary lifts Ian’s wallet during the hug. Later when alone:
“Okay, let’s see what’s really going on, Mr Cameron. —if that’s really your name. …Ha!”
(to be continued…)
Beetle Bailey:
It always heightens being in romantic clutches to be sporting a cap that you pull so completely over your head that your inamorata can’t even see your eyes.
Rex Morgan scammer twins…
Have you considered the crippling effect it will have on your scams if your faces get stuck like that?
FC: Jeffy puts his newfound knowledge to use when he gets home. He points at Thel’s breasts:
“That one’s for hot milk and that one’s for cold.”
MARY WORTH; What, Josh?! Pay attention! According to
Helen’sNelly’s own words, Mary is merely hugging (his reproductive organ.)MW: at first glance I thought angry woman was accusing Isn Cameron of rubbing Mary.
@holmegm:
“She likes him even though, as you can see, he has a thick scull!”
Mary Worth:
“So Italian author Giovanni Boccacio appears to me in a dream, Mary, and says, ‘Are you de Cameron?,’ and I say, ‘The one and only!’ “
MW: Just because Nelly is bitter doesn’t mean she’s wrong. It would explain a lot actually.
BB: Contra Josh, Miss Buxley seems to be totally into it, and is likely about to continue the nautical theme by asking Beetle to demonstrate some docking techniques in the bushes.
MW Welp. Maybe if Ian’s “O” face is the same as his ‘ha, ha’ guffaw chiming in with the parrot it finally explains why he gave in so completely to living with the bird.
BB Beetle, that is clearly not a canoe. Ill let it pass, since I can’t think if a more appropriate pun. “He’s slipping her the skiff”? Eh, I’ll keep working on it.
RMMD Did you ever wonder what Waiting for Godot might feel like as a serialized comic? Probably better than this.
Rex Morgan:
“Remember Bruce Lee’s ‘Fists of Fury’? — well, this is half of that in today’s second panel!”
Happy Labor Day Weekend, to all who have labored inside or outside US. Hope it ts restful.
Gentle Humor to Wake Up to–
yARGYLE SWEATER: Proof the Loch Ness Monster is real!
JP: young love is courted (by ma)
CURTIS: Young love is courted with makeover
GA: Finding puppy love
RHYMES w ORANGE: love is a matter of perspective
6 Cx: Makeovers work
BF: Makeover won’t.
Did Mary and Ian remove the steering wheel? Considering Ian’s girth that may have been a practical solution.
REX MORGAN M.D.: Evil Wakefield Twin #2 (or maybe Evil Wakefield Twin #1. None of these dumbasses have a distinguishable personality from each other, so who cares at this point?): “No, you fool. We need to plan revenge on our uncle! Something that will ruin his life and get him locked up behind ba…oh wait.”
@Baja Gaijin:
On Snuffy Smith : I’m more concerned about how Snuffy seems to own one of those cursed/magic radios that only receive broadcasts from the 1950s.
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Beetle Bailey : Wait, is this THAT much of a pun/a new kink? I thought it was called “canoodling” specifically because it was done secretly in a canoe!
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Dustin : DustinDad has NO idea what a “selfie” is, thinks it refers to instances where one acts selfish, which he is pretending he doesn’t do intentionally.
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Luann : what Frank and Nancy don’t know is that it’s viewed to be in very poor taste to talk about this guy’s past music career during public appearances because his memoirs are about being the sole survivor of the keytarist going nuts and killing the rest of the band, and then himself, and becoming Born Again after realising the wounds he suffered made him unable to play his instrument.
…Too far?…*************
Mary Worth : I wish this storyline would just be Nelly reacting to increasingly insane and bizarre scenarios involving the usual main characters of this strip, and then the storyline ends without Nelly acting upon what she has seen, or the audience receiving any explanation for what REALLY happened. (Like, why were Ian and Mary riding a car together and hugging? YOU’LL NEVER KNOW!)
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Slylock Fox : Which two images are the same? One and Three, where the pirates are mad that their accomplice who’s not tied up is just standing there, instead of going to get help. In image Four, they’re mad it hasn’t tried untying the really flimsy knot keeping them prisoners yet.
MW: Oh, I see. Ian’s drunk.
Dustin: Dagwood and Elmo they’re not.
SPECIAL TO SCRATCHY SCROTUM: I thought you’d think this Looks Good on Paper looks good.
@TK: Wait – the steering wheel could be just below the sightlines, but maybe *that’s* the resolution – Ian’s become too large to fit behind the wheel and when Toby can’t drive him somewhere, Mary sometimes acts as chauffeur. They are, of course, laughing at how his morbid obesity will *finally* allow him to have a heart attack and escape this world.
@2+2=7:
“My goodness, you ravishing Scotsman, you! — is that the Loch Ness Monster?”
“That doesn’t sound like you”
Then why’d you ask in the first place?
@Anonymous: On Mary Worth, speaking of… I seem to recall there was a show, maybe a cartoon where everyone was an insane weirdo to some degree.
Then a perfectly normal person shows up and questions all of the illogical stuff happening, before either leaving in confusion or going insane themself.
(And no, I’m not thinking of Simpsons’ Frank Grimes)
I don’t know about Mary’s left hand, but her right hand is patting Ian’s back, trying to get a burp out.
There’s something like one million pairs of identical twins alive in the world, which is probably how many are produced each week in the world of fiction. It’s overused, sure, I can admit I’m part of the problem. In my novel I’ve got two generations of identical twin pairs, for supernatural reasons, just cause I wanted to do some cool stuff with them. But I think a writer can get away with it just as long as you are serious about writing your characters as human beings. At least give them some individuality, some personality beyond being one of a pair. If we’re looking at Rex Morgan‘s scam twins, do you believe the creative team was even bothering to identify who is who in any given shot? Gave any thought about who is saying which line, rather than basically having one character with two bodies talking to herself? I do not. My twins (the elder pair) as kids often pretend to be each other to try and trick their mom and it never works for them once, as mom cares about them enough to basically subconsciously keep track of each of their location at all times. The scam twins I can imagine spent years fooling their parents, moving on to switching their parts and pretend to be themselves pretending to be the other, possibly getting so many layers of deception down they had a simultaneous psychotic episode and actually forgot which one of them they were before realizing their parents never even cared. That’s all just based on the vibe of thoughtlessness I get from this storyline.
@nescio: This just shows how ridiculous people’s runaway imaginations, both in and out of universe, are about this story. If Mary was patting anybody’s back, it would be her own!
MW: OK, I have to go with Lemon-Puss Nelly on this one – that’s just FREAKY.
RMMD: Revenge is a dish best served…later.
GT: Is Gil not familiar with his own book? Or was this book fortuitously written by ANOTHER paragon named Thorp?