Legal trouble
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Judge Parker, 9/18/26
For many years now, Judge Parker fans have wondered: whither Sophie Spencer-Driver? The girl who was once a climate-data– and geopolitical-conflict-obsessed tween has spent most of her late teens and early twenties vaguely wandering from thing to thing, ending up in Norway to work for her boyfriend’s charitable foundation only to return home having learned nothing, either about herself and what she wants to do with her one wild and precious life or about what sort of scammy tax dodge or worse her now ex-boyfriend (she also returned home without a boyfriend) was running out of Norway as a “charitable foundation.” So now, it looks like she’s turning to the rich faildaughter’s last resort: clerking for a judge who’s a friend of the family as an inside track into the law. Of course, what with the declining fortunes of the whole Spencer-Driver-Parker nexus, she’s not so much “clerking” for a “judge” as she is “printing out the schedule” for a “judicial hearing officer” because he doesn’t know how to “use the calendar on his phone,” but we do what we must.
Rex Morgan, M.D., 9/18/26
Ah, whew, good news, everyone! The Morgan boys aren’t stupid after all — or, if they are, they’re the kind of stupid that doesn’t show up on standardized tests, so it probably doesn’t count.
Pluggers, 9/18/26
Pluggers have the stench of death about them, folks, you read it here first
78 replies to “Legal trouble”
“Routine good?! Jacket Monster leap over and consume you now!”
“We should help the boys with their learning, though. Like, with a docent! Doesn’t have to be a great one either. Dammit, we just need a decent docent!”
I’ll…I’ll just see myself out, now.
Pluggers: Less of a comic strip and more a desperate cry for help!™
Pluggers: “The milk’s fine. It’s you that stinks.”
CS A “setup to punchline” would require a _joke_ (or at least some _new revelation_ but Holtron’s obvious in those old panels). If this “I will state A Thing” storytelling is what the writer actually finds hilarious, it would explain so much.
BF There are actually quite a lot of pancake recipes and even store bought mixes so the whole “I don’t get it, what could _possibly_ be different” is the funniest part of today’s strip
JP: Okay, so that is indeed supposed to be Sophie. What happened? Did she pull a Sarah Morgan and age 10 years between ‘And So….’s? She looks like she’s in her 30s now.
MW: Welp, this was inevitable…
S4th: *NEVER* do that to Ted’s face again, artist. *NEVER*!
CS: What the *%$@…
Luann: Either Whatshisface implemented that “rule” five seconds ago, or this is part of the BIG RETCON OF THE STATUS QUO and he’s *always* been a decent, responsible single parent who imposes reasonable discipline upon his still-developing child.
Oh, he’s not dying, he’s just soiled himself. Probably from drinking “milk” that apparently comes in a Carlo Rossi-style jug. Shoulda gone with the Paisano, guys!
Pluggers refuse to honor the “Best If Used By Date” for neither food nor clothes.
(Attenborough) And here we see how Pluggers use a bottle of expired dairy in their morning routine… they only change underwear when the person next to them can smell it more than sour milk (/Attenborough)
DT: Even if Widescreen had made that Sten gun out of steel would he have thought of giving the receiver and barrel a proper heat treatment?
FC: HTT Grandma is thinking, “Hmph. If that boozy slattern Thel didn’t spend all of Bil’s disposable income on liquor they could buy poor Billy a new football and not come begging to me”.
Pluggers’ spouses should have got rid of them a long time ago but just can’t face the idea of cleaning out their fridge, I can believe it.
“The boys tried the ‘too cool for school’ excuse, but I explained that they’ll never be cool, so they need to do school or they’ll blip out of existence”
RMMD: “Uh, they’re just pulling your leg ” June finds the nicest way possible to tell Rex the boys were gaslighting him because they think he’s stupid.
JP: Joke’s on these traffic scofflaws when judge-whisperer Sophie starts digging up colonial era precedent for sentencing them to hard labor on Spencer Farm.”
MW: I really enjoy how the colorist did Brigman dirty with that phone. “Oh, Ian’s thought ballooning ‘Mary’ while he moons at a 4″ x 1″ x 0.2″ sharp-cornered rectangle? Well if you can’t be arsed to make anything resembling a phone, neither will I—pea-soup green it is!”
RxMD: They way Rex says that last line, grimacing through gritted teeth, has me worried about what will happen if they boys don’t “keep up.”
Surprisingly, Plugger are fully behind Canada’s soci@listic euthanasia programme. Not even Fox News can overcome their longing for oblivion!
Judge Parker:
“Sometimes routine is good, Sophie.”
“Then why did they change, in August, 2016, what had been a fine comic strip here into an unrecognizable shell of its former self?”
Pluggers:
You’re a plugger if you think that being “lactose intolerant” means that you don’t like the smell of sour milk.
Rex Morgan, M.D.:
“June, do you think that we turn blandness into an art form?”
“I’d hate to think they are not keeping up. But I’d hate even more to have to do something about it!”
Pluggers: Yum yum, an artisan jug of milk vinegar.
@The Quiet Man:
Too much akvavit?
“Sometimes routine is good, Sophie”
“Shouldn’t people prefer excitement and actions?”
“I don’t know, Rex Morgan MD seems to do fine without them”
“Well, at least they finally learned how to draw something. ‘Frolicking malformed stick figure’ isn’t a huge step up from ‘blank sheet of paper,’ but it’s something. Tell you what, let’s have us a sit-down tonight and see how they handle the patented Morgan eyebrow-raise. That’s really what’ll help them in the long run.”
“There’s a running theme here”
“Maybe. But better not to point it out, the elected officials and voters around her consider statistics no better than witchcraft”
Wary Morth:
Mary, Mary, quite contrary
How do the rumours grow?
With Pompous Axx and forty whacks
And forty meddles all aglow?
_______________________________________
Questionable Malcontent:
Wait a robot pickin’ minute!
Didn’t Gloop Girl say just yesterday that she would have to report the Woomers to the jellyfish?
Either she’s going to have to go in person to report them, or send an email. If she goes in person, the jellyfish will know immediately that she’s purple. If she emails, why can’t she just email about being purple and ask for a solution?
[I then realised that Jephthy no longer remembers what Gloop Girl said yesterday on his own strip and that I’m wasting far more thought on it than he did.]
_______________________________________
Wrecks Moregone:
What tests did they “ace”? Their blood tests?
_______________________________________
Murky Tail:
In fifty years, the submersible Shallow One will be conducting tourist dives, er, paddles, to the wreck of the SS Cricket Bro.
MW – the worst thing about this is knowing we are eventually getting two weeks of Mary recapping and pontificating about the dangers of gossip as Doctor Jeff parrots her in mindless agreement.
@The Quiet Man:
Luann: Either Whatshisface implemented that “rule” five seconds ago, or this is part of the BIG RETCON OF THE STATUS QUO and he’s *always* been a decent, responsible single parent who imposes reasonable discipline upon his still-developing child.
Well, it could be serving the purpose of explaining why Shannon won’t throw a temper tantrum during the Big Reveal Strip on Sunday, despite
1. Shannon’s characterisation pointing more towards her reacting with jealousy the second she learns there’s gonna be another kid.
2. Shannon having every reason to be upset because the gross food TJ is serving is even grosser to a small child (especially the archetypical “demonisation of other people’s kids as spoiled brats who are constantly acting out” Shannon is).
…But you’re right, any responsibility Jonah shows is eyebrow raising, and a “Oh, Jonah was always THIS responsible” retcons kinda runs into the way Toni talked about him, about how he raises Shannon, about how he forces the burden of Shannon on others… and makes Toni look like a liar who just hates kids, and the responsibility of taking care of kids, and should probably have never tried to have one herself
and only did so at Bwad’s insistence, and even then, it was because he was tying sex to trying for a kid (she was only into the sex).Pluggers: Pluggers are incontinent, and have been for 20 years.
JP: There’s a town in Ohio called New Rome that used to be notorious for its corrupt traffic enforcement. The town police department, sheriff’s office, courthouse and town council were all controlled by the same family, who would stop passing cars, give them vexatious tickets, and threaten the drivers. Eventually, the state had to forcibly disincorporate the town. Anyway, a small town with a wealthy nepotistic family who control the justice system and spend all day prosecuting traffic offenses? Hmm, where else have I heard that?
RMMD-Rex wants one of his sons to be a better doctor than him.
JP — So now, it looks like she’s turning to the rich faildaughter’s last resort: clerking for a judge who’s a friend of the family as an inside track into the law. Of course, what with the declining fortunes of the whole Spencer-Driver-Parker nexus, she’s not so much “clerking” for a “judge” as she is “printing out the schedule” for a “judicial hearing officer” because he doesn’t know how to “use the calendar on his phone,” but we do what we must.
I don’t want to sound syncophantic, but this was worth a nomination for comment of the week. . .
MW: For a moment, there, I thought Ian was going to be the first person in the Worthiverse to crack the code for how to hold a cell phone. But I tried to imitate his method, and it only works if he has an impossibly long index finger—in which case, ew.
PLUGGERS: Does this imply that the “Best If Used By” sticker is on a certain anatomical feature?
MW: Someone has just sent someone a naughty pic.
What is wrong with me this morning?
JP: This would be a great strip to run over and over for weeks with only slight changes to the artwork as some kind of conceptual experiment/prank.
RMMD: “Talked to the boys. Immediately regretted it. Won’t be making that mistake again.”
Pluggers: “So pluggers were vital and interesting people 20 years ago?” “No, they still sucked, but they sucked less is my point.”
MW: Does Dawn look disheveled because Brigman is trying to portray that gossiping is an animalistic behavior, or did she do a line of coke before spreading the news?
JP: Sophie is angling to be the Natalie Harp of the Parker-Spencer-Driver oligarchy. This would be extremely creepy, if anything were allowed to come of it (spoiler: it won’t).
Pluggers are disgusting, and have been for some time now.
RMMD: Protip, Rex: most kids, when asked about their day at school, will talk more about the social aspect than the learning part regardless of how well they’re doing academically. Either that or you’re sending them to a crappy charter school with a curriculum focused more on generating impressive-looking test results rather than actually teaching kids anything.
Pluggers: Now wait just a minute. If pluggers can smell the approach of death, that means they’re trying to claim the late Oscar the Death-Predicting Cat as one of their own. This is blasphemy and I won’t stand for it.
JP: Look out, Alan! The Invisible Man harbors a grudge over your past rulings and he’s come to wring your neck!
RMMD: Has anyone else noticed how often foreheads are the focus of Beatty’s close-up panels? When they’re not making unprompted hand gestures, it’s just all foreheads all the time.
@Ettorre: What’s yer point
Pluggers: Eh, there are worse things than death. A plugger’s boxers, for one. Axe body spray, for another.
JP: Hear that, everyone? Sometimes routine is good, or in the case of this strip, all the time! Strap in and get ready for non-stop traffic violation action!
RMMD: “Anyhow, that’s about as much as I’m willing to investigate on this matter. I’ll check in again in tenth grade and see how they’re doing then.”
Pluggers: No no no: dogs smell butts, not chickens. You’ve got it all backwards!
Judge Parker: Entertainment value: one (1) Morgan Medical Clinic, with books in the background.
Don Abundio, translated:
“Snif! The monster’s been banished to the dungeon”
“Even though it consumes my life and brings me only anger and frustration…”
“I’ll free you again next spring, my friend!”
C’shaft: And boy, was it NOT worth it.
Dustin: “Let me rephrase that: I’m not into guys who define themselves as being ‘nice guys’ because they see the very low benchmark of basic human decency as an entitlement to female attention and affection, which proves the lie of their so-called ‘niceness’ in the first place. Now get away from me before I call for a bouncer.”
GT: “Not if I have to wind up fawning over an smug ass like my dad.”
Luann: Shannon’s probably about the age where she just needs a booster seat, and I’ll allow that there could be one just bellow panel. Still doesn’t explain the weird setup of the back seat or why her seatbelt appears to be attached to nothing, though.
MW: That’s not a phone, that’s the Queen of Diamonds! Mary’s activated Ian’s brainwashing and is going to make him kill Nelly Feeney!
JP: Sophie abandoning her interests and settling for a “job” working for a retired judge is not as bad as Elizabeth Patterson blowing up the Foobiverse by marrying that cold bowl of oatmeal Granthony, but it’s a bad step in the same direction.
Pluggers: I don’t think dog man smells of death, I think he just shit his pants…again.
@A Grave Mind:
Oh, he’s not dying, he’s just soiled himself…
How topical.
@TheDiva: “Mary Worth is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I’ve ever known in my life.” ~ Literally Everybody in this Strip Except for Nelly
RMMD: Am I the only one who thinks that the boys are cheating using AI? I assume Rex and June will learn all about the dangers of AI and cheating and how it will turn healthy young boys into the scam twins or something.
JP-“Sometimes routine is better than all these nonsensical plots about the CIA and college and tv shows.”
MW-What we don’t see is people laughing at the absurdity of this rumor.
MW-Wilbur then sobbingly rushes from the room. “How can that man cheat on me,” he cries.
Pluggers:
I don’t want to know what “using” a plugger means.
@The Quiet Man, Luann: It’s a bit early in the season, but have the Evansii been visited by the Ghosts of Thespianism, and now actors aren’t really that bad?
TheodoricOfYorkNaaaaaaahhhh.mp3
JP: Next week: “Excuse me, can you remove your balaclava mask while in court, and if you have a warrant, can you bring it to me from your car?….”
Legend of Bill: “I found the label! My Japanese isn’t that good, but I think it say ‘Ranma 1/2’.”
Terrified Pluggers sniff everything since finding out loss of sense of smell is the earliest sign of Alzheimer’s. Andy Bear and Chicken Lady share a laugh: “This milk stinks!” “And so do you!” (Together) “YAY!!”
@DAS, RMMD: Good pickup! Topical, and shows the dangers and evils of modern technology on why our children aren’t learning.
JP: “Running theme? More of a driving theme. See what I did there?”
Hooooo boy! If you thought Judge Parker was two-fisted excitement before, be prepared for white knuckle thrills of traffic violation day at the judicial hearing officer judicial hearings! Buckle up, things are going to get WILD!
***
Dr. Morgan has the look of a man who was about to ship his disappointing sons off to military school. Or leave them in a box at the side of a road like unwanted puppies. You’d better ace those exams, kids.
RMMD – It’s disturbing how turned on Rex looks at the prospect of his kids either failing to keep up, or being able to keep up despite being total morons. It’s like they say, “What did they call Rex when he graduated last in his class?”.
Doctor. Reluctantly, they called him doctor.
Rex Morgan, MD
I know we just saw Rene Belluso sitting in prison, but I dearly hope that he’s already been released and, looking for a low-level con to run to knock off the crime-committing rust, has started an elementary school test cheating ring.
RMMD: Isn’t it pretty common for kids to brush off the “What did you learn at school today?” question? I don’t think my parents ever took me seriously when I said, “I don’t know,” or whatever else.
JP:
[Defendant] I have to come to court because of a ticket but I also have a warrant. Will I get arrested when I show up?
[Sophie] This is traffic court, Silly. No one gets arrested.
Defendant shows up and is immediately arrested.
[Sophie] Oops!*
*Actual conversation between my court clerk wife and defendant.
DT: started as a ransomware issue – a very real problem – hospitals have had their systems hacked Then it morphed into ripping off Nyle and ends up with home made guns and IED. How does a guy who can make a laptop USB drive bomb power enough to kill yet couldn’t get his own 3d printer going nor now how to make a workable weapon?! Notice Widescreen was never formally charged or convicted. Where did the money go?
GT: which team are these players on? Football? Fencing?
Phantom: So is the message that the AI isn’t ready to prime time?
RMMD: The town goes to work and sleeps quietly not knowing how close they were in danger from the twin terrors.
Pluggers: Pluggers should not be buying milk by the gallon for several reasons.
JP:: “Sometimes routine is good, Sophie. For example I show up to work routinely drunk. It takes the edge off being a small town judicial hearing officer.”
Plug – Ooh, that smell. Can’t you smell that smell. Ooh, that smell. The smell of milk surrounds you.
@Schroduck: The 1991 Chevy Chase / John Candy / Demi Moore movie Nothing but Trouble?
@TheDiva: Given that, based on the empirical data, “lacking basic human decency” does not seem to be an impediment to female (or male) attention, asking why one is not receiving attention if one does have it is not unreasonable.
Of course, the answer (which is that physical attractiveness, money, and a willingness to lie count for a lot in the dating game) doesn’t reflect well on anyone.
LUANN: I know this is just incredibly unnatural and clunky exposition here on Jonah’s part, but I like how he’s implying that his little hellion should only be a “polite guest” because, like, Luann and Bernice are coming over and we can’t possibly look like barbarians in front of such peons of class and culture. Of course if it were just dinner with “Sis” and “Uncle Brad” you can act like a brat all you want because those doormats have no problem letting you walk over them.
@Ukranazi Stepan: re: QC: The solution is within her.
@Anonymous:
Silence, you fool! You might re-summon it!
@Charterstone: Dune:
Applause, an offer of handshake and a Jack Daniel’s.
@TheDiva: RE: RMMD:
Rex: “If that prevents me from having to meet with their teachers or emotionally invest in their development in any way, I’m fine with it.” (shrugs)
Girl Genius: Okay, the good guys have been trying to escape from the big airship for at least nine months (real time) several days (strip time). But they keep being ambushed by armies of clanks (robots) working for the bad guys.
Monday’s episode: Zeetha: “We’ve already walked into too many ambushes today. Now we reconnoiter.”
Us: “Phew. Thank you, Zeetha.”
Today’s episode: AMBUSHED BY ANOTHER ARMY OF CLANKS
@Charterstone: Dune: Which is why it’s so weird that the condo residents are pretending that what Ian is doing is troubling, unusual behavior instead of “Operation: Every Mary Worth Strip Ever!
RMMD: Those test scores are about to tank. The boys had been meeting the twins in the schoolyard to purchase answers.
Pluggers: In happier news, whole milk is back, baby! (Wait — milk, meat, bacon… are pluggers MAHA now? Oh yeah, donuts. Never mind!)
@Treetown: “Where did the money go?”
To the NeoChicago Police MCU, silly.
Confiscation laws.
Gotta pay for all the video game equipment they bought.
@DAS:
I was thinking it could explore how doing well on tests doesn’t necessarily mean being able to apply what you’ve supposedly learned in other contexts, but AI is another interesting angle. Of course knowing RMMD I doubt any of that will happen.
@The Quiet Man:
I’m surprised you didn’t mention that an indictment for Sophie beating up that old villain should be on the docket!
Gasoline Alley: Id like to think “impo’tent papers” is a purposeful gag, but let’s not kid ourselves.
GT: Kiddo, that’s NOT why you’re never getting married.
LUANN: Jonah: “Now Shannon, I know you’re usually in these strips to be an obnoxious brat to all the hapless adults, but this is a special occasion, so I need you on your best behavior just this once. This is the public announcement of the upcoming birth of The Chosen One and none may interrupt its solemn importance, not even your antics. It’s so momentous that Toni’s even acting as if we have a close enough relationship to invite to things instead of complaining about how irresponsible I am all the time. That’s how important this dinner is.”
Judge Parker – “Judicial Hearing Officer” has some important technical meaning in the legal community, but it’s enough to brand Parker as “Judge” Parker again for a TikTok career making wacky punishments for minor traffic violations. I feel sympathy for the drivers running late to work having their feet encased in a lead shoe for a week to punish their lead-foot driving.
Rex Morgan, MD – What the boys don’t know is how to sell a story to a listener to satisfy them. Which fits, since they are part of the Morgan family, who have retreated to tertiary characters in their own strip.
Pluggers – Two decades ago Pluggers was in it’s sweet spot – print newspaper circulation was still high, with many more smaller city newspapers to host the comic than today. AOL had allowed email submission of ideas from some of the more technically savvy Pluggers readers, boosting engagement with the audience.
But in 2006 Facebook opened up to people without .edu email addresses, accelerating the shift away from local newspapers as the main source of news and entertainment. Like Facebook, Pluggers is no longer what it once was, though history will look kinder on its gentle Boomer humor than the digital empire of Mark Zuckerberg.