Babies, monsters, bird-men
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Marvin, 9/20/26
Now, if you were a normal person, by which I mean someone who has no idea what Marvin’s whole deal was beyond “Isn’t that a comic about, like, a baby?”, you would probably be taken aback by this strip, which seems to be a pretty harsh indictment of modern millennial parents, sucked into social media and checked out from what the wondrous moments of their kid’s toddlerhood, precious memories they’ll never get back. But Marvin realheads like you and me know that Marvin, the character, is the worst baby around, and deserves his father’s neglect. Who cares what he’s wearing? He sucks!
Shoe, 9/20/26
Given that the uncle-nephew bond is apparently the closest intergenerational relationship the bird-men of Shoe can experience, it’s too bad for the Perfesser that his uncles keep dying. Anyway, I think they should wait to make sure Uncle Walter’s coffin successfully lands in the grave before carving anything into marble.
Panel from Slylock Fox, 9/20/26
OK, yes, he should’ve been smart enough to take the cap off the pen. But the legal status of this monster — is he a sapient animal and therefore a citizen of the Forest Kingdom who needs liberation? a creation of an unclean human and therefore a lesser beast? a dangerous criminal who is competent to be tried and must be jailed? — should send the newly established animal political establishment into a frenzy, and you have to admire the good Count for his gumption in creating it.
34 replies to “Babies, monsters, bird-men”
Slylock:
Um, because he’s a malcontent and a recidivist who would lie when the truth would serve him better?
Mary Worth:
“Continuing with the potato chip leitmotif, Tommy, I hear they go to Cape Cod together to get good Lays!”
“Cosmo, I’m sorry about the loss of your uncle! Not sorry enough that I won’t eat him, though! I’m a vulture, after all”
Rex Morgan: “What about the other residents of the town of Glenwood? We’ll see.” It doesn’t take a Nostradamus to predict an up-nose Buck Wise panel in the near future. OH NO!
Jeff digs his hole even deeper. “It’s brown, right?” Thinking why would you dress the kid in any other color.
Marvin literally only has one outfit, his parents never change him, and going from what we know about him, it’s probably drenched in urine and feces.
Marvin-Uh shitty?
FC-“PJ hears ya. PJ don’t care.”
MW-“That is so funny. That Nelly is such a jokester.”
RMMD-I just might stop reading ‘Rex Morgan’.
Shoe-“Tombstone? Hell no. I’ve already sold him to the Colonel.”
I reject this Marvin. I refuse to believe that anyone likes this horrible shitbaby, especially his mother.
Shoe: “At last, a hole in one…” I guess that’s kind of funny, but shouldn’t Cosmo be more upset after his uncle was shot to death?
Slylock: So does Weirdly actually have a mother somewhere, and is she also human? Well, human-ish? Also, is she Elphaba? Because that would be some heavy-duty intellectual property they’re messing with.
Mark Trail: So Mark, you’re using your Sunday lecture today to tell us that rain is water droplets from the sky? If you’ve run out of things to talk about, you could just, I don’t know, maybe just tell us a joke or something. (And no, quoting the line from the Morton’s salt box doesn’t count as a punch line.)
Shoe – “But, confusingly, also a birdie.”
Typo in the last Marvin panel, Jeff’s response was supposed to be “Touched by shit.”
Shylock Farm– Apparently some animals are more equal than others
Marvin:
Reading Marvin is like watching the movie Ishtar. Nothing about it is remotely funny or entertaining — and if you say to yourself, “Gosh, maybe I’ve missed something the first time around,” and you peek at it again, you reach the same conclusion.
Luanna Huge news! We have a fully-developed infant stashed inside Toni’s firefighting-trim torso! The ultrasound tech had to call in for second opinions and the hospital chaplain, although after the exorcism’s null result the leading theory is Toni’s got a pocket dimension with time flowing faster than out here. The NSF is sending _several_ teams to study her and everyone around her, so be sure to cooperate to give us the best chance of _not_ having the world end as universes collide or something!
MW Interesting detail that Brigman added an apple snack to how Dawn delivers the gossip – making a parallel to the temptation of Eve? But I don’t think anyone buys that Charterstone was the garden of Eden paradise before Nelly’s whispering campaign.
Phantom OK, Ok, we’ve *finally* gotten to the latest iteration of the Phantom Origin – I Swear We’re Not Racially Condescending _This_ Time! Ancestral Kit’s body is so over this that his right nipple is trying to slide off and escape…
Shoe:
“Mort, why is it that every single conversation which ever takes place in this strip evokes the dour cynicism of Peggy Lee’s ‘Is That All There Is?’ ?”
SFx: “And by ‘frighten,’ we mean ‘eat.'”
@CanuckDownSouth:
tl;dr : the Evansii didn’t learn anything from everyone assuming Ann Eiffel’s ultrasound showing a fully-formed baby in her millimeter-thin waist was a hoax.
if they learned anything, it was to edit the picture so the baby isn’t waving anymore, so it’s not recognisably the exact same pictureALSO : no delivery pizza, and in fact the dinner table seems to have disappeared… I should have known, they had the “Hey, isn’t this supposed to be a dinner? Where’s all the food?” lines coming out of SHANNON and LUANN, implying only a childish and frivolous
and stupidperson would expect to be served food at an event they were explicitly told was going to be a dinner where they would be served food.Plugger Weekend – Pluggers know how they look in their outfits and go out in public anyway.
Mary Worth: Forget about this stupid gossip plot line — can we talk about the fact that Wilbur seems to have gone on Ozempic? The man is looking good — now all he needs are some hair plugs, and he’ll be ready to disappoint the middle-aged single ladies all across Santa Royale.
Blondie: So Blondie dreamt she was Dagwood, but it didn’t even involve eating? It was just about how awful it is to have a regular 9-to-5 job. Luckily, she’s still a woman from the 1930s at heart — she started a catering company because she knows that ladies should only work at hobby businesses that involve cooking.
Rex Morgan: “Why is the stuff that’s bad for you so tasty, and the stuff that’s good for you not so much?” There’s actually an answer for that, kid — cruciferous vegetables like broccoli contain sulfurous compounds called glucosinolates, which are healthy but have a flavor that many people find unpleasant. Luckily, your medical-professional parents mostly serve you a carb-heavy diet of pasta and garlic bread, so you can enjoy a flavorful dinner without worrying about whether your low nutrient intake is making you too dumb to know the difference between lasagna and spaghetti.
“It escaped against my will, I’m not responsible for the crimes it committed”. I see that Weirdly has the same legal team as AI companies
“You should treasure this moment, it’s a gift. That’s why it’s called ‘present’”
“Well, it looks a lot like Marvin’s little presents!”
Mary Worth Mashup: The rumor spreads across the comics page.
NOTE: Westons are removed from the linked content.
How does Slylock know the intruder didn’t cap the pen to frame Weirdly?
Usually, scientific laboratories are covered with signs warning about caution and how to avoid accidents. Weirdly wrote “A mad lab is a rad lab”. I mean, I see his point. Humanity is basically extinct already, what’s the worst that could happen?
Weirdly’s most loyal creation, the mini-Grimace, is distressed. But the one-eyed green thing (or half-on-panel frog) is ecstatic. Ceiling tentacle just does what you gotta do… you see a tiny bowler, you seize it.
“Dear Mommy…” I guess the dowager countess is still alive. Wonder why we never see her? Maybe she is confined to a reserve, since the Animals do not see her as anyway useful for the regime, as her son sometimes is. If so, I applaud the monster destroying the system!
“Well, you should read “Man are from Mars, women are from Venus”, dear! I’m a man, our brain is not made for remembering details about clothing!”
“So you’re saying you care about your son?”
“Oh, not at all! But I wouldn’t remember his clothes even if I did!”
@6 Schroduck: Probably? As if there’s a chance, however slight, Marvin isn’t stewing in his own personal septic tank? I think not.
@12 nescio: “Touched by shit.” I think you misspelled “covered in.”
@21 BigTed: Could be Belle Bats-in-the-Belfry’s brother, the taller, slimmer Wilbur?
Another golfer is dead? Newspaper comics are marching towards death one day after the other!
SLYLOCK: Perhaps the monster could be unobtrusively slipped into another comic. The Forths wouldn’t think twice if it showed up in their back yard.
SHOE: If The Perfesser were my next of kin, I’d have made damned sure I had plans in place.
MW: I’ve never seen this much non-stop jocundity displayed by either Mary or Ian, so I’m officially declaring. I BELIEVE.
Shoo, shoo! Has Cosmo’s father ever been mentioned? And if HE died, would his demise get more reaction than a feeble pun? How close to his blood relatives IS Mr. Fishhawk, anyway?
RMMD: “Is a meatball just a round hamburger?” “Is garlic bread made from garlic flour?” “Is it spaghetti or pisghetti?”
Rex looks at June: “You were saying about ‘not stupid.’