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Mary Worth, 12/9/10

Can there be any more delightful phrase in the English language than Jill saying “I’m not finished yet!” Let us hope that her drunken outburst goes on for days — nay, weeks! She appears to be attempting to pick up that table in panel two, so one assumes that she’s about to start bludgeoning people with it.

My favorite new character in today’s strip is David Niven, who looks up in sudden surprise in panel one despite the fact that this tirade must have been going on for a full minute or two at this point. Perhaps he was so enraptured by the little lemon slice on his water glass that he’s just now noticing the commotion.

Curtis, 12/9/10

She-bully Veranda becomes today’s unlikely hero, as everything she says to Curtis is in fact 100 percent accurate.

Funky Winkerbean, 12/9/10

“My therapist tells me that isn’t so much ‘Lisa’ as ‘my own deeply internalized sense of self-loathing,’ but what does he know? In my heart, I’m sure that Lisa is always with me, telling me that I’m a failure!”