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Marvin, 11/11/17

Welp, just when I think Marvin can’t veer any further past “ha ha, it’s funny when babies make poopy” into straight-up scat fetishism, we get today’s strip. See, it’s funny because Marvin eats food, just straight up masticates and swallows it, and then his digestive system does its thing, leaching out all the nutrients and leaving behind a disgusting slurry of solid waste, which he extrudes out his anus — and, because he isn’t potty trained, all this feces just goes into his diaper, where he sits in it, until one of his parents decides to change him. It’s the circle of life! This is the punchline of a joke that runs in literal newspapers across the country.

Blondie, 11/11/17

On the other hand, today’s Blondie contains a minor miracle: a panel in which an old person’s mistaken idea of what a younger person might look like says “no prob” that somehow doesn’t lead to the protagonist seething with incandescent rage about the RUDENESS and CASUAL MANNER of the KIDS TODAY

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Blondie, 11/5/17

Wow, generally I think of Dagwood as being pretty cheery and not at all prone to self-reflection, so it’s kind of amazing amazing to see him waking up in the dark and staring out at the reader saying “Time for another day” in genuine despair. The only thing Dagwood really consistently dislikes is work, and this strip is canonically happening on a Sunday! Today is a harrowing look at the yawning emptiness at Dagwood’s core, the one he can never fill no matter how many sandwiches he stuffs down his gullet. In the final panel, he learns about the Daylight Savings Time mixup and realizes that at least it’s socially acceptable to escape into the blankness of sleep for another hour.

Mark Trail, 11/5/17

Ha ha, that got grim, didn’t it? Uh, well, let’s cheer up with Mark letting us know that sometimes animals do weird stuff, and it “goes viral” online! Can anyone explain why it happens? Mostly not! Mark, innocent lamb that he is, believes the scientists who tell him this bird’s mothering instincts were triggered by the fish’s mouth-hole. Here’s the truth, Mark: they’re kissing. That’s what kissing looks like. I know you think you need to work your way up to that with a rousing game of “got your nose”, but you’ve got to understand, these are animals.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 11/5/17

Our hero Buck has come a long way since he became dangerously dehydrated from walking around a comic-book convention. But today he’s facing a foe that will challenge all the physical conditioning he’s been doing since then: stairs.

Spider-Man, 11/5/17

AHAHAHAHA

SPIDER-MAN GOT DISTRACTED BY TALKING INTO HIS CELL PHONE AND WEB-SLUNG FACE-FIRST INTO A BUILDING

THIS IS THE GREATEST DAY OF MY LIFE

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Gil Thorp, 10/11/17

One thing I appreciate about Gil Thorp is that it’s a strip about teenagers that goes to certain lengths to keep up with the cultural touchstones its teen characters would relate to, but not great lengths, if you follow me. It’s that kind of attitude that produces strips like today’s, in which someone bothered to figure out that golden-voiced Rick Soto would serenade his friends with a song from popular singer Ed Sheeran, but didn’t bother to determine what specific song that might be.

Blondie, 10/11/17

Meanwhile, nobody involved in the production of Blondie has any idea what an “app” is or how a person would go about buying one.