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Dennis the Menace, 7/5/11

After years of biding his time, Dennis has finally decided to go into environmental menacing. “Once those mountains have been leveled so we can get at the coal underneath them, and the forests have been stripped and replaced by endless cul-de-sacs filled with vulgar homes far too large for their lots, this will be a vista worth looking at, by God.”

Mary Worth, 7/5/11

It turns out the only thing Drew finds more unsettling than a lady claiming to be his girlfriend when she isn’t is any indication that not everyone considers a career in the healing arts to be the pinnacle of human achievement. “You mean … she left her medical job … to pursue a career as some kind of common peddler of trinkets? How gauche!”

Hi and Lois, 7/5/11

As the fireworks of America’s Independence Day holiday fade, it’s up to each of us to ask in seriousness: What does freedom mean? To Trixie, clearly freedom denotes the ability to void one’s bladder or bowels without having to worry about minutes or hours spent sitting in a soiled diaper. Babies are disgusting, in other words.

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Hi and Lois, 7/2/11

Hi is right to look smug in that second panel: at last, his plan to arrange a marriage between his son and a young woman from a more powerful neighboring clan is coming to fruition. This can only increase the power and esteem of the Flagston family! (Alternately, what I’m reading as “smugness” may simply be drunkenness, since that thermos is no doubt full of gin.)

Hagar the Horrible, 7/2/11

Responding with “I’m a commuter” to a question about one’s profession is of course nonsense, but it makes for awkward dinner conversation when you tell recent acquaintances that all of your wealth has been stolen from faraway kingdoms where you and your men murdered everyone who resisted and enslaved the rest.

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Archie, 6/28/11

I don’t understand the joke in today’s Archie — I guess it’s either “Fashion changes and so clothes that were once nice become less so over time” or “Dames, who can understand ’em” — but panel two is actually an excellent depiction of a young man staring into the face of madness.

Apartment 3-G, 6/28/11

“Oh, Paul, stop teasing Lu Ann — you know that on Groundhog Day I make my special Groundhog Loaf, made from ground-up groundhogs!”

Judge Parker, 6/28/11

It’s really kind of impressive to me that Judge Parker has managed to squeeze an entire day’s strip out of various bland forms of electronic communications.

Hi and Lois, 6/28/11

Lois is horrified that Hi has been talking to the kids about their sex life.