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Mary Worth, 5/26/24

Jesus, Wilbur, did you ever think that Willa has probably even more reason to mourn than you do, and you’ve never tried to reach out to her so that the two of your could support one another? No, instead you’ve turned your grief into a narcissistic wallow, and have further alienated your remaining fish by making it clear that Stellan was your favorite.

Meanwhile, in the final panel Mary has revealed how long this has been going on, and I have to say that “several weeks” is one of the less amusing options. Like, it would’ve been funny if we found out that Wilbur had been living in isolation and increasing squalor for a year, and very funny if we found out he had been living in isolation and increasing squalor for six hours.

Hagar the Horrible, 5/26/24

Damn, with all this talk of sacrifice, I assumed Hagar was going to offer a fine stallion or heifer up to the gods of the Norse pantheon to propitiate them for safety on his next raid. But with a larder full of cuisine brought back from Italy and the mysterious lands south of Vinland, I guess he’s a little soft now to go in for the old ways.

Hi and Lois, 5/26/24

An underrated aspect of the Hi and Lois mythos is that Hi has one friend, who is his nextdoor neighbor and also his coworker, and he really doesn’t like him very much.

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Pardon My Planet, 5/22/24

As a hopeless Coke Zero addict, I of course respect any monument to those who fought and died in the name of delicious soda pop. But why is this monument out in the middle of the countryside, rather than gracing one of our great cities? At first, I was upset, but now I see that patriotic Americans are willing to hike great distances to see it in all its majesty, which makes it much more meaningful, I think.

Hi and Lois, 5/22/24

As no punchline His and Loises go, this one is pretty good! “It’s fun to rip” is a nice catchphrase for a baby — it is indeed fun to rip, for kids and adults alike. I also enjoy Chip telling his dad, who is almost certainly a Millennial, that he needs to “go digital” to keep up with the times.

Mary Worth, 5/22/24

Yeah, yeah, Wilbur is falling further and further into despair, but are you telling me that some plebeian Doordasher was allowed through Charterstone’s walled perimeter and is now wandering freely through the grounds and hallways without being accompanied by a resident at all times? Wilbur’s going to be hearing about this from Mary, just like he’s going to be hearing about the condo association bylaws’ surprisingly explicit rules about corpse disposal.

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Mary Worth, 5/18/24

Remember when we learned that Old Man Wynter purchased a headstone for his dog that was significantly larger than the one he bought for his wife? Well, it still wasn’t that big, and I hope that Wilbur plans to outdo it by building an enormous obelisk, or perhaps a pyramid, down at the pet cemetery, large enough to blot out the sun, tipped with a lifelike glass sculpture of his favorite fish (non-alive division), Stellan. Or maybe he’s just going to eat him, slurping him out of that little net like he’s doing a shot of his beloved purple drank. Excited to find out!

Hi and Lois, 5/18/24

He’s like, what, ten, fifteen feet away? You could wake him up just by having a conversation at a normal volume! This isn’t very impressive at all.