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Marmaduke, 11/15/11

I don’t usually find little visual flourishes to enjoy in the loopy, face-melting world of Marmaduke, but here one is: Marmaduke’s owner’s license plate bears the single letter “M”. Actually, that ought to make one question whose car this really is. Usually the DMV doesn’t issue license plates with only a single letter on them, unless they’re compelled to do so by a terrifying power beyond their ken, which reinforces the emerging consensus that this vehicle belongs to Marmaduke, its purpose to carry its demon-hound owner wherever He wishes to go, via highway, carpool lane, sidewalk, canal, whatever, so that nosey cop had best do obeisance and walk away slowly, unless he wants to get eaten nice and painfully.

Herb and Jamaal, 11/15/11

“Here, let me set up a really convoluted analogy for you. You know how sometimes you just lose your grip on your wallet, and slips out of your hands and flies into a fish tank? And sometimes that fish tank is filled with pirañas, which are never kept in tanks? That’s what it’s like with the ladies, who take your money and bite you with razor-sharp teeth when you try to take it back!  Ha ha, women, who needs ’em, amiright? Say, want to come upstairs and look at my etchings?”

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Ziggy, 11/1/11

Oh, Ziggy, you keep making the mistake of thinking that you and your cold-blooded aquatic friend have any sort of shared values. We already know that he dreams bloodthirstily of the day when the mammals wipe each other out in a genocidal war, leaving the planet to him and his fishy compatriots. Thus it should come as no surprise that he’s pleased by the thought of a great flood rising up and wiping out all land-life, allowing him to happily swim about the rooms he can only dimly perceive from his bowl today. These “underwater homes” might be bad for you, Ziggy, but they’ll be very, very good for him!

Fortunately for us air-breathers, fish are still unable to fully grasp metaphors, which are our main tool for planetary domination.

Marmaduke, 11/1/11

Marmaduke of course dreams of sitting atop a throne of skulls as the demon-king of hell, so there’s actually a bit of pathos in seeing him woof out bluster from some ratty suburban armchair.

Spider-Man, 11/1/11

Whoah, has it been a while since we’ve seen the Amazing Spider-Man failing at something? Well, here you go! Ahh, that’s the stuff.

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Click the banner to contribute and receive a Commemorative Comics Curmudgeon Bible Bird Band! Details here.

The geese are coming home to roost! Today is the last day of the Fall Fundraiser. Bands will still be available for late or mailed donations, but this is the final reminder. If you’ve already contributed, thank you — your band is on its way. And if you haven’t yet, consider what the comics would be like without the unique perspective The Comics Curmudgeon offers every day. Now isn’t that worth a couple bucks? You bet! And seriously, do you really want to spend the rest of your entire life without a Mark Trail-themed Bible Bird Band?

Marmaduke, 10/14/11

Eva, wistful in her drindl, dreams of a second chance for the Thousand-Year Reich.

Crankshaft, 10/14/11

At the risk of horning in on Mary Worth territory, here’s a page from Uncle Lumpy’s Guide for the Young in Love:

Proposals:

• Proposals must be made in person, or by telephone or video chat only if the matter is urgent and a face-to-face meeting is impossible. Billboards, faxes, scoreboards, and above all letters are unacceptable means of soliciting a lifelong commitment — there is simply too much opportunity for error or misunderstanding, and no chance to correct such quickly when they occur.
• The person who makes a proposal is within his or her rights to demand an answer, which must also be made in person as above. “Yes” and “No” are the traditional alternatives, although “I need to think about it”, “Why can’t we just go on like this?”, and “Oh, baby, oh, oh, oh!” are acceptable variants of the latter.
• As a corollary to the above, under no circumstances should “No answer” be accepted by either party as the basis for ending a desired relationship.

Eugene, Lucy — this is not romantic, touching, or poignant. It is stupid, and you two deserve exactly what you got.

Spider-Man, 10/14/11

You know, it occurs to me that I’ve neglected Spider-Man this week. It felt great, and I’m gonna keep it up.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 10/14/11

Loweezy is disappointed with her copy of Lisa’s Story: the Other Shoe: why hasn’t anybody shot Les yet, and what in tarnation are these “shoe” things, anyway?

Fundraiser update

Bible Bird Bands are now arriving by the gaggle — and that’s a lot! Don’t delay: make a generous donation of any amount, and get your very own. And when you receive it, don’t forget to send Josh a picture at bio@jfruh.com. And to faithful readers throughout South America, Africa, and Asia — time to step up, folks:

GOOSETRAX (full details and Privacy Policy here.)

Comics Curmudgeon Bible Birds are winging their way to faithful readers worldwide!

Mark Trail’s Greatest Hits – a Fall Fundraiser special, part 5

Mark Trail — 5/14, 11/18, 11/21, 12/14, and 12/23/09

Stay tuned for tomorrow’s exciting conclusion of Mark Trail’s Greatest Hits!

— Uncle Lumpy