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An embarrassment of riches in today’s funny pages! I present to you five one-panel short takes.

From Luann, 4/18/05

I dare you to use the phrase “She’s a honey … but you’re sugar” in conversation with someone with whom you’re trying to ingratiate yourself romantically. I dare you.

From Apartment 3-G, 4/18/05

And by “she,” I’m pretty sure she means Margo. “Seriously, I can’t believe they let you in. What are you doing here?”

From Rex Morgan, M.D., 4/18/05

“Why weren’t you invited? Because Buck likes men, June. Real men with cleft chins and tight jeans and thick coats of forearm hair. Now you make sure that thumbsucker is out of my sight and my breakfast is ready by the time I’m back from the tent-pitching, you hear?”

From Mary Worth, 4/18/05

Be careful what you wish for: after three weeks of Mary filing patient reports, you will beg to see Anna and Brian quoting Richard Bach at one another again.

From B.C., 4/18/05

No, but seriously: what the f— oh, why do I even bother?

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Mary Worth, 4/16/05

I thought that maybe it would stop when cruel fate and Dr. Brian’s need to earn a living briefly separated them, but apparently Anna’s brain has been completely taken over by the majesty and fullness and wonder of their love and now she can talk of NOTHING ELSE. In panel two, the extreme closeup on her blank face, unlined by any worry or coherent thought, seems to reveal that she’s so in love that her left eye is about to roll back into her head.

The people I really pity in this situation are her poor yoga students. “Let your breath be your teacher. Leave the rest of your day behind and focus on the present … and on the INCREDIBLY TRUSTING BOND OF TRUST YOU HAVE WITH YOUR MOST TRUSTED LOVED ONE. Seriously, mastering a headstand is one thing, but unless you have the OPENNESS and SHARING of a TRUE LOVE TRUSTING RELATIONSHIP, your life is crap. Did I mention that I’m going to have a BABY?”

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Mary Worth, 4/6/05

As one of the New Kids on the Block once so memorably put it: I love love, and I hate hate. But seeing days and days of Brian and Anna mewling and agreeing and assuring each other of their eternal, unconditional love, sitting there in their matching electric blue pants on their hideous turquoise couch — well, it’s enough to begin to make a guy hate love, and, conversely, love hate. If Anna’s unexpected (and I shudder to even type these words) “honeymoon baby” proved that any problem will go away if ignore it long enough, then Dr. Brian’s loving, nurturing, caring response to Anna apparently proves that difficult news is always best shared after it suddenly and magically becomes no longer a problem. All I know is that if this conversation doesn’t make Anna want to hurl, she’s in for a fairly easy pregnancy.