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Folks, your first COTW of the ’20s coming in a moment, but first: don’t forget that Conor Lastowka and I will be putting on a special version of the Internet Read Aloud show at SF Sketchfest on Saturday, January 18, featuring Bill Corbett of MST3K/Rifftrax, Laser Malena-Webber of the Doubleclicks, standup Natasha Muse, and more!

Tickets are limited so buy some now!

And now, with that out of the way: it’s your long-awaited COMMENT OF THE WEEK!

“You can tell he’s a millennial because he’s not wearing a tie with his suit at the restaurant.” –Kevin Keeney, on Facebook

Your runners up are also hilarious!

“Wait, Heloise is the Phantom’s daughter? The lady who gives me hints??” –ratnerstar

“‘But Dad, shouldn’t Khe Pandjang’s remains be returned to the homeland he fought so bravely for, instead of lying forgotten in a vault under the initials of what I assume is a colonialist approximation of his real name?’ ‘LOTS TO SEE LET’S MOVE ON’” –TheDiva

“I don’t know much of anything about raisin’ kids! Now, raisin adults? That’s somethin’ I figgered I could he’p with. Yep, back in the ’80-aughts, when I was a simple ol’ creative director at Foote, Cone & Belding SF, the California Raisin Advisory Board asked for a new commercial. I said make the little nippers sing! True story. Now, who wants some biscuits in hot milk?” –BigTed

“Maybe brain-teasers are just part of the Bildung a member of the animal elite is supposed to master, like poetry-writing for Chinese Mandarins: nice, useless, and signalling status. Slylock earns his living by holding ‘thinking outside the box’ seminars for Silicon Valley types.” –Ettorre

“Considering the glacial pacing of all stories in this strip, just what the hell is Mark’s big hurry? Is he worried about the parking fees he’s racking up at the local airport?” –Guillermo el chiclero

“What’s with the expression on the orange-hatted kid? Close up, I can’t decide if it is more ‘misery’ or ‘junior serial killer.’” –Cloudbuster

“In the background in Dennis the Menace, a child gleefully celebrates the return of the blue orb. Where has it been? What secrets will it whisper? The blue orb has seen things, child, and it knows things. Menacing things.” –Voshkod

“No, no, this is actually refreshing. Whenever Joey notices the fourth wall, he just cries and runs away.” –Artist formerly known as Ben

“But if you want to get all analytical and ‘Monday morning quarterback’ about it, the main reason those other expeditions failed is that they didn’t find him.” –Handsome Harry Backstayge, Idol of a Million Other Women

“I think ‘party members kept questioning the doctor and so were murdered before the expedition could get results’ is being strongly implied as an additional reason.” –pachoo

“For a second there, I thought Vitamin had taken serious liberties with his revival of West Side Story.” –Joe Blevins

“Much like everyone else in this strip, Tildy is not a character and will never be one.” –Noel

“I think the product placement for Ensure really crosses the line.” –Dennis Jimenez

“You will note, Watson, the gray splashes of mud on Miss Fifi’s paws. It is the distinct shade of gray found in the clay soil at Toad Hop and nowhere else in the vicinity. When it comes to soil, there are far more than 50 shades of gray — I have written a monograph on the topic of some small repute. Note also, the splashes are still wet, testifying that she has here directly from there. This means she could not have been in Gnaw Bone at the time of the murder. Now, Miss Fifi, give us your story. It will go better with you if you come clean.” –erdmann

Remember, if you want to buy ads on this site and get a shoutout in these metaposts, head on over to my BuySellAds page! If you never want to see banner ads on this site, and get cool comment-editing features to boot, for a mere three dollars a month you can become a Comics Curmudgeon Supporter! If you just want to give me money directly, you can put some scratch in my tip jar, or back me on Patreon! Thanks to all for your support and readership!

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Folks, it’s taken me a bit to get up and running this post-holiday week so I’m letting the current COTW stay up there until the 10th. But I am going to engage in the honored Friday tradition of plugging stuff in this metapost:

WANT TO BUY ADS ON THIS SITE? Head on over to my BuySellAds page!

WANT TO NEVER SEE BANNER ADS ON THIS SITE, AND GET COOL COMMENT-EDITING FEATURES? Became a Comics Curmudgeon Supporter!

WANT TO JUST GIVE ME MONEY DIRECTLY? Put some scratch in my tip jar, or back me on Patreon!

WANT TO SEE ME DO LIVE COMEDY IN LOS ANGELES TONIGHT? Come see the Internet Read Aloud at 8 pm (Facebook event here):

WANT TO SEE ME DO LIVE COMEDY IN SAN FRANCISCO IN A COUPLE OF WEEKS? I’ll be putting on a special version of the show at SF Sketchfest on Saturday, January 18, co-hosted by Conor Lastowka, and featuring Bill Corbett of MST3K/Rifftrax and Laser Malena-Webber of the Doubleclicks, among others!

Tickets are limited so buy some now!

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I’m not quite ready to sign off on comics-mocking for the decade yet, but nevertheless, this’ll be your last COTW for a while, so enjoy it! BUT FIRST: enjoy the anticipation of the first Internet Read Aloud of the ’20s, coming your way in only two weeks!

Here’s the Facebook event! YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO BE THERE!

Like I said, I’ve got a few more days of comics mocking in me, so please refresh ad-serving joshreads dot com pages constantly for updates, but for now, here’s your comment … of the week!

“Leroy has figured out the truth. The DEA never inspects ‘Tube Socks.’ Month after month, socks come up from Colombia. Month after month, Leroy repackages them and sends them on. Month after month, Leroy is paid well for this and, month after month, he refuses to spend a dime of it to do a damn thing for Loretta. The money just sits there, accruing interest, and Leroy imagines dying first. Loretta at the lawyer’s office for the reading of the will. ‘The remainder of the estate, amounting to $15 million in cash, is left to … the fire. I am directed to burn it all, and I quote, in front of my wife.’ It’ll be so great, Leroy thinks. Just wish I could be there to see it.” –Voshkod

And your very funny runners up!

“‘What’s new in the funeral home business?’ He’s got his reporter’s notebook out, which makes his question legit, so I guess he’s expecting to publish a big scoop in tomorrow’s Treetops Tattler. At least, Brookins/MacNelly didn’t go with an answer of ‘nothing, it’s a dying industry.’” –Just John

“God, look at the shit-eating (sorry) grin on Marvin in the last panel. That is the face of sociopathic malice, right there. ‘Yeah, I gave my mom post-partum depression,’ he’s thinking, ‘Life is good.’” –TheDiva

“Apparently, Lorenzo was a magician who would escape from an alligator. He couldn’t do that now — the animal-rights folks would be all over him, and buying a new alligator every day has gotten super-expensive.” –BigTed

“No one else ever interacts with Harry. I think he’s a ghost that haunts Becky.” –Tom T.

“Okay, look, we all know I make these stupid puns to delay actually making you guys play anything, because whenever you do, it sounds like an owl fucking a capybara, which I realize is a highly specific comparison to make, but hey, the poster’s on the door for a reason.” –els

“I’m not sure how I feel about the comic pointing out its own inability to tell jokes. If Batuik mocks his own comics so we don’t have to, aren’t we all out of a job?” –JJ48

“Sure, shoppers, there is a pissy-faced girl blocking the path and throwing off a hundred-foot zone of ‘don’t-give-a-shit,’ but that plain, black lettering on a white posted board ‘Visit Santa’ sign is inviting, right?” –Handsome Harry Backstayge, Idol of a Million Other Women

“I know this isn’t really a ‘gag a day’ strip, but is there supposed to be a joke in there? I mean, it sure looks like Cayla finds the idea of her husband alone and miserable at Christmas kinda funny, which, yeah, I guess I kinda get.” –pugfuggly

“When you’re an experienced country doctor, you don’t start right off with, ‘Whoa, that’s a hell of a shiner you’ve got there!’ You lead up to it with small talk first.” –Peanut Gallery

“Estelle, Wilbur is not any better to be around when he’s predictable.” –Rosstifer

“If you keep missing Wilbur, maybe you should hire a hit man? I hear they don’t miss.” –ZeroWolf

“Dagwood said no to putting this product on his head. He ended up wearing it anyway and walked away reflecting how the person who gave it to him was right not to accept his rejection. And now multiple people are giving him nigh identical greetings, one telling him how good he looks for wearing it, all smiling and friendly in the midst of what should be frustrating purchasing sprees. Are there any ways to read that other than a mind control cult? Probably, but they rely on the idea that ‘extendo licks’ proved a good idea, so I’m ignoring them.” –pachoo

“That ‘sniff‘ reminds us that for decades pluggers thought fuzzy dice were air fresheners.” –Spunky The Wonder Squid

“So she used Google to find other, more interesting book readings in the area.” –nescio

“Panel two shows a man who is both terrified and getting exactly what he wants simultaneously. Mark secretly always wants a bear attack. You think when he’s talking to Cherry or, god forbid, Rusty, he isn’t praying for a bear to come bounding in? Of course he is! This Himalayan red is a manifestation of Mark’s subconscious, much as the Id Monster is for Dr. Morbius in Forbidden Planet.” –Joe Blevins

“I have bear repellent! Unfortunately I only brought enough for one person. Later bitches! Ha Haw!” –Danielakiiki

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