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Comment of the week? Comment … of the week!

“Sure, the rhythm is important — like my Pappy used to say, ‘KA-WHACK before WHACK, that gator’ll be back’ — but it’s all just wasted effort without a hearty ‘Get out of here!’” –Handsome Harry Backstayge, Idol of a Million Other Women

Runners up? Also very funny!

“It’s kind of weird that Wilbur brought up his Matrix fandom as a way of proving he’s young and hip. He could have mentioned a popular movie that’s in theaters now — say, Joker — although the idea of a sad middle-aged loser who’s driven crazy by his anger at the world might hit just a little too close to home. Then there’s Doctor Sleep, about a sad middle-aged loser who’s driven crazy by… on second thought, maybe they should discuss music instead. I bet Garth Brooks is a favorite of both Wilbur and Zak’s dad!” –BigTed

“Is Zak an android? All he does during these trying situations is to smile. Is this how he manages his company? ‘You’re fired! [with big grin]’” –Government Cheese

“People reading the strip now weren’t around to read those WWII strips, so we are free to place Snuffy’s military service in any era we choose, ignoring the fact that for most of the strip’s history Snuffy has been shown fighting in armed conflict against agents of the US Government, especially the Treasury Department.” –seismic-2

“Dennis, get out of there and let the poor man enjoy his box of electric picture frames in peace.” –Peanut Gallery

“Visually, the saddest thing about today’s strip is Wilbur’s disheveled combover, which he had spent so much time meticulously styling before he started fortifying himself with ‘liquid courage.’ In a way, the combover is symbolic of Wilbur himself: At its worst, it looks terrible; at its best, it’s not going to impress any ladies in the least; and in the final analysis, it’s probably best to keep it covered up as much as possible.” –Guy Lumbago

“I think the Howells are about to be tried in a far higher court than ours. King Triton is a vindictive mofo, I’m trying to say, and I hear he still holds a grudge about how Ariel was treated by the humans shortly after the credits rolled.” –Ubiquitous Bob

“You know what’s really sad? Estelle will forever associate Zak and Iris as ‘Wilbur’s friends,’ while Zak and Iris will classify Estelle as ‘Wilbur’s girlfriend’. You have a source of suffering in common! It is a sound foundation of solidarity and brotherhood!” –Ettorre

“Which animal has the shortest lifespan? Whichever one makes the mistake of getting picked up for a drunk-and-disorderly in the upper east side of the Forest Kingdom. You can tell by the look on the cop’s face that this bear will be having a tragic mishap while ‘resisting arrest.’” –jroggs

“Estelle has spicy diarrhea, which made her think of Wilbur. It’s a little unfair to compare the two, because the decision that lead to the former would have been at least briefly enjoyable.” –Rosstifer

“Nothing makes a plugger wife unhappier than to know her husband is happy. Nothing makes a plugger husband happier than to know his wife is unhappy. The Circle of Life, Plugger Style!” –Only Here For The Ads

“Mary Worth could have put an Elder sign on that door. They could have used the Yellow Sign, and had the door open to grim Carcosa, where the King in Yellow awaits brooding. They could have revealed Wilbur’s true form, a shoggoth wearing human clothes. They could have given up Mary’s great secret, that she is ageless in mind and form, that she has been and always will be, that she advised pharaohs and darkling gods. But no. They’re just going to give us some old woman’s anxiety dream. Thanks for nothing.” –Voshkod

“This works better if you imagine it as the start to a very specific cuck fantasy.” –Rube

“I like that Estelle’s unconscious mind assumes that Wilbur reproduces parthenogenetically, like some kind of big dorky amoeba. I mean, it’s plausible.” –pugfuggly

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It’s time for your top comment of the week!

“That is not the way invasive species work. That is not the way ecology works. But most of all, that is not the outfit to wear on a forest inspection, Princess Pussycat! Seriously, do you wear that floor-length robe 24/7? Please, have more confidence in your vast regal powers and go ahead and don casual gear when the occasion warrants. Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown and never ever takes it off.” –Poteet

Your runners up are also hilarious!

“‘Do you want to hear what I’m going to do next summer?‘ Margaret asks during the first week of November. Who’s the real menace?” –Westing1992

“Wilbur is so drunk that he managed to stutter in a thought bubble.” –Noel

“Dagwood’s plan is just two headlines and Windows 95 clip art. Maybe Dithers is right to treat him so badly.” –Ettorre

“Wilbur is literally devolving before our very eyes. He’s been getting shorter and uglier, and now he’s starting to turn into a character from a differently drawn comic strip genre altogether. I’m guessing workplace humor, but I wouldn’t rule out funny animal or talking baby.” –T.H. Steady

“I like Daisy’s wide-eyed reaction in Panel 1. ‘Facial recognition system? Is our beloved legacy comic strip now going to be exploring social implications of omnipresent monitoring technology and how modern-day fears of one another in a polarized society could lead to the creation of a police state, run by a massive AI that constantly collects data on everyone and uses that information to subjugate us to the wishes of some technocratic overlords? Is Blondie finally becoming… relevant???’ Then in Panel 2 Dagwood proposes his idea, and Daisy thinks ‘Whew, had me worried there for a minute!’, and goes back to sleep.” –seismic-2

“I’m a little concerned that Estelle and Iris’s reaction to Wilbur’s public drunkenness is mild resignation. Do you want to end up like Loretta Lockhorn, ladies? Because this is how you end up like Loretta Lockhorn.” –TheDiva

“Just before Wilbur picked up the bottle last week I was wondering if they’d ever address the fragility of ego he must have to maintain such a terrible combover in 20-dang-19, and WELP” –Skeleton Munroe, on Twitter

“It’s kind of adorable that Snuffy and Silas are completely jaded by America’s political system yet still innocent enough to think that a ‘hunnert‘ constitutes a proper bribe. C’mon guys, most senators won’t take your call until you’ve funneled 100k through a PAC and gotten their nephew a corporate vice president gig.” –pugfuggly

“Yes, Zak’s facial expression is great, but take a peek at Estelle. Sure, it’s a look of shame, but not for the reason you think. She’s been out with so many horrific Silverdaters, it’s now developed into a kink for her. ‘Oh yeah. That’s it, Wilbur. Mock him. Mock his tofu order, right after straight-up trying to order a goddamned Mayo Lassi. When you end up face-down in your spice-level-ten Panang Curry, I’ll drive home alone and replay the carnage over and over again in my mind.’” –Carsick Yankee

“Confessing to murder is a pretty shocking way to change the topic of conversation, but life in prison is certainly preferable to listening to Les Moore talk about Dead Lisa.” –jroggs

“We’re ready to order. First, let’s do a plate of phallic symbols, to share. By sharing, I mean we’ll each stick them whole into Wilbur’s mouth, one by one by one.” –Phil A. Sheo

“Bull had a solo car date … with death!” –Sir Bagby”

“I’ve always admired the way the denizens of Hootin’ Holler let their tongues flop out of their mouths when someone tells them a joke. And by ‘admired,’ I mean ‘realized there is no point in being repulsed by a standardized drawing in a comic strip.'” –Randy

“Which would you rather have: a funny cartoon? Or, this?” –Hägar’s Horny Hat

“This guy doesn’t have to whip himself into shape — all he really needs is a guitar. The disappointed girlfriend will come along naturally.” –BigTed

“Okay, unless Wilbur gets decked tomorrow, I guess we’re in for another week of this dinner. Fine by me — I won’t be satisfied until something really socially transgressive occurs. A bunch of people have predicted vomiting, but I’m hoping for whiskey-scented diarrhea.” –Zla’od

“Dennis looks nonplussed. Here he was, all set to be served tea — to show the women that the only way to calm his menacing is to accept a place of doting servitude, thereby reinforcing the secretly greater menace of inescapable patriarchal gender roles — and all of a sudden this girl is making things about urban vs. suburban politics instead. It looks like he’ll have to do some reading before he can deal with her properly!” –pachoo

Thanks to everyone who became a Comics Curmudgeon Supporter to get an banner-ad-free site, put some scratch in my tip jar, or backed me on Patreon! If you’d like to advertise on the Comics Curmudgeon, and get your very own shoutout in this space, head on over to my BuySellAds page!

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What’s that, you say? Another in a continuing series of Josh’s beloved live comedy show, The Internet Read Aloud, is happening THIS VERY POST-HALLOWEEN EVE, TONIGHT? Yes, a thousand times yes!

Here’s the Facebook event! We’re gonna be talking about male Insta Inspo, game dev drama, how the Holocaust stacks up against popular tourist destinations, and more!

And now: your comment … of the week!

“‘YESSS!!!’ Dagwood screams, lunging forward as Dithers inadvertently stands himself in the exact right spot at the window, directly above the food truck’s open sunroof. A few minutes later, Dagwood will be biting into a sandwich of the forbidden meat, the one meat those pesky regulations had stopped him from eating, as the office staff start wondering where their boss has gone.” –Schroduck

And your very funny runners up!

“It looks like some charitable organization dropped off a few used toys for the kids who get locked out of the house while Daddy watches his program. The one standing in the middle of the lawn with a skateboard is going to be quite delighted if he ever figures out what it’s really used for.” –Handsome Harry Backstayge, Idol of a Million Other Women

“I see Jeffy’s the only one concerned enough about his health to bother wearing a woolen hat on this brisk autumn day. No seasonal head colds for him. God, can you imagine having a head cold with a noggin that size?” –Joe Blevins

“The lack of an Oxford comma is the plugger-specific content.” –Mark Jackson

“Maybe we’re finished with the section on how pluggers are different from us, and are now considering the ways they are alike and face the same problems. I don’t know how to feel about moving on without noting the very important difference that they are actually bears, dogs, chickens, kangaroos, and so on. Maybe they’re saving that for a third section, on how these different varieties coexist and reproduce? You will have to watch out for that! I’ll be reading anything else.” –pachoo

“‘I can’t imagine what she thinks when she compares me to him.’ Due to a weird angle in the drawing, it looks like Wilbur is smiling in real life, but frowning in the reflection. I like to think that Wilbur is feigning confidence and optimism — ‘how could he compare to me, a man of experience and refined taste!’ — but his subconscious is like, ‘I can’t imagine what she thinks when comparing us because if I actually thought about it I would lose the last fragment of my will to live.’” –Ettorre

“Every time Wilbur refers to Zak it’s ‘stud‘ or ‘boytoy’ or something else explicitly sexual, which at first I thought was a deliberate attempt to be hurtful towards Iris, but now we see he’s still doing it privately in his own thoughts. It’s the ‘not sure if you should feel contempt or pity for this guy but I suppose you can do both’ Wilbur Weston sweet spot.” –Dan

“She knows the routine. Every day, as soon as she walks in the door, he feeds her a spoonful of the magical potion that makes her forget everything she saw in the outside world. Pomeranians, Halloween costumes, husbands who aren’t assholes… everything. And he’s safe again, until tomorrow.” –Peanut Gallery

“Potato chips, peanut butter, The MacAllan 12: yep, the bachelor math checks out.” –pastordan

“I’m not exactly sure why Mr. Wilson’s Dennis cosplay horrified me so much this morning. Maybe it’s Mr. Wilson’s weird obsession with the neighbor boy. Maybe I’m still groggy from sleep. Or maybe it’s because it comes right out and says that Dennis never changes his clothes, everyone knows it, and no one dares talk about it.” –Larry McAwful

“So … we’re not going to see Chance punching Chet’s bearded face like a high school Mark Trail? Then what’s the point?” –TheDiva

“Chance refers to his emotional outbursts as ‘Mr. Blowtop’ while the wind BLOWS through the hair on TOP of their heads. That’s … that’s not how symbolism or allusion works. That’s not how any of this works.” –Brad

“I like how the middle lady is checking her phone in the last panel. The BFF contract is not just some turn of phrase, it’s something that these three hammered out with a lawyer before cementing their friendship. They keep a PDF version on their phones just to refer to every time there is request for transactional kindness. ‘A pick up at the airport? Let’s see… 16 BFF § 5p clearly states that this is valid on weekends and holidays but that weeknight requests are to be abrought to the council…’” –pugfuggly

“‘You should try this new cereal.’ ‘I guess so. It’s kind of weird that I got an empty bowl and brought it over to the table otherwise.’” –jroggs

Thanks to everyone who became a Comics Curmudgeon Supporter to get an banner-ad-free site, put some scratch in my tip jar, or backed me on Patreon! If you’d like to advertise on the Comics Curmudgeon, and get your very own shoutout in this space, head on over to my BuySellAds page!