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THIS WEEK’S TOP COMMENT IS HERE: RIGHT NOW!

“‘Exterminator,’ huh? That dog has the calm, cold eyes of a trained killer. Billy should be glad he’s a dullard — any Keane kids who get too much heathen book-learning will one day see those eyes, and then nothing more.” –stepped pyramids

And also? The runners up. Hilarious!

“Yes, there’s a fine line between ‘Food Taster’ and ‘Garbage Collector,’ a line that Sam dutifully erases.” –Pozzo

“This strip makes a lot more sense when you realize that Comrade Amoshya Haftrakov was actually an officer in the Soviet army who fought in the proxy wars of central Asia before being recruited by the KGB and sent to infiltrate an American military installation, and subsequently was forgotten when the USSR collapsed. It also explains in more ways than one why ‘General Amos Halftrack’ fills himself with a gallon of vodka every day. He’s a tragic hero, a warrior trapped in the terrible future he swore to prevent. Also, he’s Russian.” –jroggs

“Feeding people cancer causing nitrates is Les’s specialty. Not as instantly satisfying as Montoni’s explosive diarrhea causing pizza, but cancer sells books.” –ZeroWolf

“The deal with those two guys is that they’re overwhelmed by the level of sheer excitement in this strip. Watching The World’s Oldest Teenagers sit around talking about a vintage car show? Maybe even with bands!? STOP THIS INSANITY!” –Peanut Gallery

“I love the defeated, slouching posture of the mustachioed guy in panel two. He doesn’t know how it’s possible to fuck up hot dogs, but he’s pretty sure Les can find a way to do it. This teachers’ picnic is gonna suuuuuuuuuuuck, y’all.” –Joe Blevins

“What’s the deal with those two guys? They’re twitching and vibrating like there are hordes of bugs roaming under their skins, like they’ve been hollowed out by insects. Like they’re just skin-robots for insectoid overlords. [sip] Anyway, what was that about a car show?” –Voshkod

“Have you any idea the level of horniness required to lose $210 million in romance scams? 15,000 horny people, mostly old, mostly ugly, always desperate trekking the web in search of a target. The level of human misery reaches at least 3 MegaWilbur.” –Ettorre

“Dear Sam and/or Silo: Considering that we probably already have your tax money — it was withheld from your paycheck — good luck getting it back. And if by chance you do owe something, send it in or we’ll show you what else your tax dollars pay for. Have a nice day. –The IRS” –But What Do I Know?

“It starts with citizens trying to specify what their tax dollars will be used for, but it’ll quickly escalate into citizens deciding that the government can’t be trusted to look out for their best interests and seceding altogether. If Sam and Silo is any indication, the Second Civil War will be far less interesting and more poorly drawn than we could have possibly imagined.” –JJ48

“OPHTHALMOLOGIST is spelled wrong on the diploma. Yes, I found an error in a completely unfunny cartoon. It’s only 6:15 am, and I’ve already peaked.” –Weaselboy

“The implication is that Leroy is so turned on by the attractive nurse that his pupils are not just dilated, but FREAKISHLY dilated, reaching a level that usually requires special eye drops. I’d sorta assumed that Leroy was too miserable to feel any kind of arousal, so ‘Leroy has an all-consuming nurse fetish’ is a surprising if not entirely welcome revelation.” –Jenna

“Have we ever seen Bill’s eyes fully open before? Can we never again?” –The Mighty Untrained FOOZLE

“I’d now like to announce the results of this morning’s faculty water balloon fight, at which you were all present and thus already know the results. But first I’d like to announce this year’s winner of the always competitive ‘Flimsiest set-up for a pun’ award…” –pugfuggly

“In a court of bald people the one with hair is always found guilty.” –Roof Canal

“‘There’s nothing more irresistible than driving a sports car across deep sand dunes in an area where there isn’t a paved road for hundreds of miles,’ said no woman ever, including either of the two who exist in the Crock universe.” –BigTed

“Is the shading on the jester’s nose meant to indicate the ‘lovable drunk’ stereotype, or that years in a dank, unsanitary dungeon have induced necrosis?” –TheDiva

Thanks to everyone who became a Comics Curmudgeon Supporter to get an banner-ad-free site, put some scratch in my tip jar, or backed me on Patreon!. And we need to give a big shout-out to our advertisers:

• Sunday 2am: A weekly webcomic about life, love, happiness, creme-filled snacks (and only occasionally talking animals).

If you’d like to advertise on the Comics Curmudgeon, and get your very own shoutout in this space, head on over to my BuySellAds page!

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Top comment of the week: YOU KNOW IT BABY

“Also, don’t shoot because I’m a talking deer who appears to have human-level intelligence! You could have just asked me to stop eating your flowers, or put up a sign that I would have been able to read, just as I read the label on that bottle! But no! You just went straight for the poison!” –Rosstifer

Runners up: HERE THEY ARE FOR YOU TO ENJOY

“‘And now you’re out ten thousand dollars, and left with a broken heart! You have to report him! For the money, I mean. Any way you look at it, the broken heart is your own fault.’ ‘But you said no judgment!’ ‘Yes. I was criticizing you for having no judgment. Did you think I meant I wasn’t going to judge you? I was clearly pointing at you when I said it.’” –A Concerned Reader

“Old jungle saying or detergent slogan? You be the judge!” –TheDiva

“This is another comic where the throwaway panels make it a totally different story. Up top, we see how Cookie and Alexander were really looking forward to this. They’d put a lot of thought and effort into their Mother’s Day surprise. This was important to them. Only with that context do we realize that, in the last panel, they’re dying inside, with false smiles plastered on their faces.” –Joe Blevins

“Hi, Dad! You still alive? Cayla hasn’t killed you yet? Oh, well.” –Schrödinger’s Droopy

“It should be pretty difficult to time an annual phone call that precisely. Either Les and Summer have been practicing their timing, or else hours have passed between the second and third panel, as Les gestures in increasing discomfort toward the phone that should ring at some point that day.” –JJ48

“Oh, what a time that was! The boys got the eggs out of the fridge — and then — [both gasping with laughter] — and then we had to put them all back!” –Peanut Gallery

“Locating his shins to kick is quite the accomplishment.” –Rusty

“I think maybe Elmo is leaving out the part where his ‘high-tech crush‘ is sexting him and then later retrieving his phone to delete the evidence. Elmo realizes it’s for the best Dagwood doesn’t know what a sext is, or else Blondie would be getting a lot of NSFW photos of sandwiches.” –Marcus Theory

“Curtis’s generation wants NEW stories, like Captain America and Iron Man.” –Chyron HR

“‘Kids today just don’t understand the simple ways to enjoy life,’ says Greg, kicking back on the couch with a relaxing sip from his ice-cold can of green beans.” –jroggs

“Starting a GoFundMe today to double the salary of whoever is still churning out this comic (what would that be, like, ten bucks a week?) if they’ll put Frank Nelson at the end each and every strip saying, ‘I don’t get it.’” –Handsome Harry Backstayge, idol of a million other women

“‘Just extras‘ says the character who’s primary job in the strip is to set up punchlines for a sun-worshipping baby.” –Guillermo el Chiclero

“Look at the way Jeffy is cupping his hand against his mouth there: do you figure he’s stage whispering or all out yelling across the table? I’m figuring the latter, as a result of his pudding mania.” –pugfuggly

“Unless the guy who drew the map likes playing cruel practical jokes, or had a vendetta against you personally, or was simply extremely incompetent … any number of reasons, really! You can’t trust anybody and anyone could betray you at any time! But at least you’re not crazy.” –Navigator

Thanks to everyone who became a Comics Curmudgeon Supporter to get an banner-ad-free site, put some scratch in my tip jar, or backed me on Patreon!. And we need to give a big shout-out to our advertisers:

• Sunday 2am: A weekly webcomic about life, love, happiness, philosophy, and marshmallow chicks.

If you’d like to advertise on the Comics Curmudgeon, and get your very own shoutout in this space, head on over to my BuySellAds page!

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Hello everyone! A quick technical note: Last night I changed webhosting companies, moving my site to a server hosted by Digital Ocean. This all seemed to go very smoothly from my end, but if you are noticing any technical quirks on the site, please let me know via email (jfruh@jfruh.com). Thanks!

And now it is time, as it is every Friday, for your comment of the week!

“Look at the way those kids are dressed; Merlin didn’t just magic them up out of nothing, he abducted them from the modern era! And, in exchange for fifty families being thrown into endless mourning where they’ll never even get the closure of finding a body, those kids aren’t even going to be Hamlet’s ‘friends’ for long. Remembering how the unfortunate kid with bad BO was treated back when I was in middle school they are quickly going to turn on a boy who only bathes once a week.” –Cass

And your runners up! It is time for them as well!

“I shall sleep, which is a normal human behavior, as I am a normal human, and definitely not an android of some sort! …Initiate Trailbot Hibernation Subroutine” –Thomas Keith, on Facebook

“Pluggers characters have names? This changes everything. And not for the better.” –Lee Sherman

“Doc’s on this trip because it was his idea and his map. JJ’s along for the ride because of his intimate knowledge of the area. Mark’s there to avoid having to sleep with Cherry. But can someone remind me why they let Leola come? I thought she was supposed to be the guide, but so far the only thing she’s led anyone to is an outdoorsman store. I know Mark and Doc are pretty rustic, but I think even they could manage a Google search.” –jroggs

“You know, for a guy who supposedly loves nature, Mark Trail sure prefers jammering away about contour lines on maps to watching the cool animal stuff that’s invariably happening like 10 feet away from him.” –Schroduck

“The strained cleverness! The self-congratulations! The soggy goo they’re supposed to put in their mouths! Mason Jarre would find this all revolting if he weren’t using every molecule of his being to hold it together and not let on that he’s tripping balls.” –Handsome Harry Backstayge, Idol of a Million Other Women

“I like to think today’s Dustin represents the sort of non sequitur the family is used to from their idiot son. Today it was ‘I should get a smaller checkbook,’ but it may as well have been ‘I like dogs’ or ‘Fish don’t have wings, except for flying fish, which I guess are birds.’” –Voshkod

“Oh, it’s the reader! He’s fallen asleep again! Heh … I see Doc’s already taking advantage of his chance to finally take a leak. Speaking of which.” –Old Man Muffaroo

“Pull back for a wide shot, and you’ll see that the house is abandoned. Mommy and the others are on vacation in Carlsbad Caverns right now, and they neglected to bring Jeffy. It’s like Home Alone except that the parents never realize their offspring is missing.” –Joe Blevins

“Radio silence? Estelle has been trying to contact Arther on her short-wave radio? Meanwhile, Arther sits by his cell phone, heartbroken, and says to his one-eyed, two-legged dog, Lucky, ‘Nothing but phone silence.’” –LXIX

“He said he would break up with me if I didn’t send him money, and by golly he did! He’s a man of his word, and I must have him back!” –JJ48

“Hi, Estelle — I spent the last three weeks looking for store-bought tuna casserole before realizing that’s not a thing, so I brought a HOME MADE tuna casserole for your cat and — what the HELL???” –DNH

“I’d like to think that in between panels one and two there was a good 15 minutes of complete silence between those two as the rest of the pizza was cooking, Dagwood staring intensely at the over door the entire time.” –pugfuggly

Thanks to everyone who became a Comics Curmudgeon Supporter to get an banner-ad-free site, put some scratch in my tip jar, or backed me on Patreon!. And we need to give a big shout-out to our advertisers:

• Banana Triangle: Poor Tom and Scotty and Rosemary, lost on an island somewhere in the sea. Frightened and desperate, hungry as could be, devoured each other; problem solved — one, two, three! A webcomic updated thrice weekly.
• Sunday 2am: A weekly webcomic about life, love, happiness, philosophy, and marshmallow chicks.

If you’d like to advertise on the Comics Curmudgeon, and get your very own shoutout in this space, head on over to my BuySellAds page!