“It’s not enough that Zak is a gorilla. He is an ugly gorilla. Man, that Wilbur is a master of nuance.” –Bob Tice

“[choke] My one weakness, Wilburite! Growing … weak … (Wilburite is his word for a woman asking him to do literally anything for another person.)” –Dan

“My favorite part of this strip is the throwaway panel, where we see Jeff silently tapping away at his computer with a look of disgust. It just makes me happy to know that he’s living a miserable life between these strips, as he deserves.” –pugfuggly

“Unfortunately Cookie could only afford to get half of Claire’s name removed, but thanks to the supernatural center-alignment formatting baked into each tattoo, it’s still a pretty solid piece of body art celebrating Cookie’s terrible fury. Can’t blame the tattoo artist for getting upset, though, because it looks like some tradition or custom of shame required him to remove his own tattoos as well.” –jroggs

“Look here, Moy, you shouldn’t give us the setup of Zak and Iris getting boxing lessons along with Wilbur imagining her as a damsel in distress needing to be saved (by Wilbur) unless you’re planning to show us Wilbur getting his shit rocked.” –Corynaut

“If I were Young Smokey, I’d be more concerned about why I have to wear pants, while the rest of the class gets to luxuriate in the altogether.” –Pozzo

“I’ve never attended Bible class, but I’m pretty confident that each lesson doesn’t have to be carved into a big stone slab, for effect. Apparently it’s what separates us from the beasts.” –Handsome Harry Backstayge, Idol of a Million Other Women

“Boo! Do 2 Kings 2:23-25!” –taig

“I don’t know about Iris. She has the opportunity to walk away and not talk to Wilbur and she is not taking it.” –matt w

“As an incipient (or current) (at least age-wise if not culturally) plugger myself, I can assure you I also forget where the Advil is in addition to everything else.” –Vulcan with a Mullet

“You’re a plugger if you are a drug addict but not one of the bad ones!” –Ettorre

“I know the good folks over at Marvin Inc. have their particular brand on lock, but must admit I never could have predicted this scene, an illustration of the Bristol Stool Chart depicted as the lunches on offer in a cafeteria for babies.” –Kevyn on Video

“Well, great. Half of Blondie’s demographic are already some of the few people still using Facebook and have been fully radicalized, and the other half are about to be after their grandkids show them how to find it and sign on.” –Tabby Lavalamp

“Loving the posture of Morgan Kid 2.1 … 2.2 … anyway, the one with the black hair. Pray, little boy, pray! Pray to the black-haired goddess to save your dog ‘Candy!’ [Black-haired Goddess: ‘I wonder how much the taxidermist would give me for this kid’s skin?’]” –I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV

“Doc, we don’t use the word ‘fix’ within earshot of the patients, it makes them nervous.” –Old Man Shadow

“In what world can the news be able to see Gearhead Gertie up close enough (on a blimp!) to know what color her earrings are, but not recognize the obsessive NASCAR granny who spends her entire life committing outrageous stunts to show her devotion to the sport? This guy probably has to report on her antics weekly!” –Schroduck

“Y’know what’s faster than running alongside a horse? Riding the horse! I mean, I know Mark always wants to put the animals’ preferences first, but I’m pretty sure Artemis here would rather carry a couple of dopes than be turned into prosciutto di cavallo.” –BigTed

“Alas for Wilbur; the guy he knocked down was also daydreaming. He’s the Doddering Dynamo, and once he manages to get up, it’s not going to be pretty.” –MKay

“If ‘in perpetuity’ means ‘forever and a day,’ then the town charter says the name ‘Gasoline Alley’ will last forever and two days. This is somehow apt for this benighted, pointless and never ending story.” –Lawyerbob

“Hey guys, an app that can load the dishwasher is called a robot. How soon we forget the tropes of yesteryear.” –Hibbleton

“Hey, if Wilbur had been walking just a little faster, the kid would have barreled into him and WILBUR would have exploded under the wheels of the mysterious army-green van. I think the kid was given a job by the syndicate, and he just fucked up.” –Charterstoned

“Pavel wants my death to be a private affair, I want it to be catered with at least twenty close friends in attendance. I already have my coffin pattern registered.” –Garrison Skunk

“The enemy must be nearby. Looks like a foot patrol. [‘Booooo!’] We always knew our adversaries were trying to get a toehold in the region. [‘Booooooo!’] Truly, these heels have become our arch-nemeses. Destroying us is their sole purpose. This is just the first step to- [*gets pelted with rotten fruit, expired eggs, and stray feet*]’ –jroggs

“Now we see why Kit Jr. suddenly, and without advance notice, returned to the Deep Woods from Himalayas Tech — he flunked out. It isn’t that he struggled with the advanced courses such as ‘Philosophical Defenses of Colonialism’ or ‘Tax Loopholes Regarding the Plundering and Hoarding of Antiquities’ or even the intermediate-level courses such as ‘Wearing Ridiculous Costumes’. No, this dunce couldn’t even manage the very basic courses such as ‘Skulking Silently’, ‘Situational Awareness 101’, and the lab course on ‘The Hazards of Chains’. Up in the big Skull Cave in the Sky, 20 previous generations of Phantoms are watching this sad spectacle, shaking their heads, and saying ‘No. Just no.’” –seismic-2

“Well, I learned something today: the characters in Crock don’t seem to have any kind of blood or bones, they’re made of a kind of homogenous pink matter, like a kind of living pâté. It doesn’t really increase my enjoyment of the strip, but it does remove the last bit of sympathy I had for the characters, as at least avatars of humanity.” –pugfuggly

“Kit Jr. is learning why you can’t do this job in regular clothes like a dumbass. The reason for wearing a garish skin-tight costume is that the confusion is audible in the bad guys, alerting you to their presence behind you.” –Tabby Lavalamp

“I love the Dumb Disheveled Dad podcast.” –Norbizness, on BlueSky

“No OMs either. He’s dead, Killer. That’s rigor mortis setting in.” –astroboy

“I love Brigman’s choice of having the panel’s frame cut off the bottom half of Wilbur’s face, leaving the expression his mouth is making to the sick imaginations of her readers. I personally am picturing him tongue lolling like a Snuffy Smith character.” –Drew Funk

“You know what, I think he did mean AI, because … he just said that? I’m not trying to be an asshole here, I just think that you might not be really paying attention.” –pugfuggly

“Man, now I have a new reason to fear death: I really don’t want a ghostly cloaca.” –Lionheart

“There is no pavement, no modern infrastructure around the computer store. I’ve seen enough cartoons to know a mirage when I see one. Both ladies are suffering from heat stroke and hallucinating a futuristic store selling futuristic goods. Is the joke that they will both die soon or that their last thoughts before their inconsequential lives are snuffed out by nature are how much they hate Maggot and would like to sell him into slavery, but there would be no buyers? Or is it a meta-textual joke on how I’ve spent five precious minutes thinking about this and will never get those back?” –Old Man Shadow

“Fortunately for us, and perhaps the beneficiary of Gertie’s will, that combustion engine doesn’t appear to be connected to a drivetrain, only an exhaust system, the better to make her specialty kale-banana-carbon-monoxide smoothies.” –I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV

“Say what you will about Wilbur, at least he invested some of his Ask Wendy Advice Column money in a shaving kit.” –A Worthy Foe

“Historically (or mythologically I guess) the Greek gods visit human women for sex. That’s what’s meant to be happening here, right? So Poseidon’s line about hydration is intended sexually, like ‘Time to hydrate, because you’re going to lose a lot of fluids during the ensuing hours of sweaty intercourse we’re about to have!’ You’d think a god could come up with a better pick-up line.” –Stuart F

“I’ve had worse. From a C-ration on day four in Bastogne. I ate it cold because a flame would have have drawn snipers. So, yes, dear, I’ve had worse — but with better company.” –Voshkod

“We are dangerously close to Wilbur deciding that women like ape-like men, Googling Ape-Man seeking some illegal steroid that promises results, but accidentally falling down the Furry rabbit-hole (no pun intended) and emerging as a terrifying ape persona! However, if this ends up being a King Kong storyline with Wilbur shot down from the tallest tower in Santa Royale, it will have been worth it.” –Philip

“Now let’s be fair, there are plenty of valid reasons for this lady to call Wilbur ‘pretty good.’ Maybe she just got a cochlear implant and this is literally the first time she’s ever heard singing. Maybe she’s an extraterrestrial just now encountering music. Maybe she has a head injury. Early onset dementia. The list goes on.” –Lauralot

“I’m less concerned with the theological implications of snowmen in heaven than I am the meteorological ones. I get that the upper atmosphere is probably cold enough to sustain a snowman’s corporeal form but does that mean the human angels are freezing under those diaphanous robes? Maybe they should be wearing celestial parkas or at least some holy longhorns. And if heaven is freezing, does that mean, for people who were always cold, it’s actually hell? Hmmm … I guess I am interested in the theology after all.” –Where’s Rocky?

“Is this months-long discussion of The Count’s mobility aid just a setup for some cheap ‘Muddy Boots’ gag? God, I hope so.” –Uncle Lumpy

“Randy is at least showing some body tension that accords with what he is yelling, but April’s body language says ‘Meh, who cares.’ I’m guessing that the actress playing April got together with the actor playing Pavel in his trailer dressing room and is now feeling very relaxed. Yes.” –Poteet

“Oh, come ON, Crock! ‘I hear the rains in Africa’ was right there!!” –I’m Not Cthulhu, But I Play Him On TV

“I have two iPods. One barely works, but the oldest is an iPod Classic. It rules! Holds thousands of songs! ‘Celebration’ included! But it also needs headphones or earbuds, and Seymour has neither. Dammit, Seymour, you were almost a Gen X hipster, but it turns out you’re just dumb. I thought maybe we gonna celebrate and have a good time.” –made of wince

“Don’t worry, Trixie still doesn’t understand the difference between an illustration (the seed package) and the object it represents (the seeds themselves), so she’s still just a baby! A sad, neglected baby sitting in bright daylight with sparse hair and no hat. (‘Even Mommy got to wear a hat!’ she’ll realize while sitting in her expensive therapist’s office one day.)” –BigTed

“At first I understood ‘Judy: Left in Walt’s Car’ to mean that on Feb. 28, 1935, she’d had enough of the strip’s whole (waves arms in futile gesture) … whatever all this is … and hot-footed it out of town, stealing Walt’s car to add insult to injury. ‘Go, Judy, Go!’ I exulted. ‘Go and don’t look back!’ Alas, I was wrong. Gasoline Alley seems to exert a gravitational field that no one can escape, not even poor comics readers. Please excuse my bitter tears.” –Doctor Moreau

“The seeds drink the water from the Earth, then devour the sunlight. Yes, Trixie, all plant life eats sunbeams and your favorite animals eat the plants which means they eat sunbeams, which means you eat sunbeams. Keep that in mind the next time there’s a cloudy day. You made that happen, child.” –Old Man Shadow

“If the scene was one panel longer we’d see that cat’s monocle pop.” –Dyanmoe, on BlueSky

“Estelle’s vacant stare and incomprehensible invitation to Wilbur shows that Dr. Ed has found the perfect combination between outright sedation and zombie-like bliss in her ketamine dosing.” –Hibbleton

“For the sister of someone who died a sinister death while escaping from Dick Tracy in the 1940s, Croptop looks fantastic. She should stop robbing banks and start marketing her workout routine!” –matt w

“The three of us should get together sometime. Because knowing you’re thinking of me having sex with another man doesn’t do it for me anymore. I want to see your face.” –cheech wizard

“Gonna be straight up here, I really don’t care about the angry entrenched perspectives on what counts as a ‘silly name’ from people called T-Bone and Baleen.” –jroggs

“So wait, has Walt not heard a single word of dialogue since this whole story began? That’s not fair, we should all be that lucky.” –pugfuggly

“Eggs, plural?!?! That means she’s following the instructions for cake-like brownies. CAKE-LIKE! Why not just make cake? This child is evil and must be stopped!” –Old School Allie Cat