“Look at the way those kids are dressed; Merlin didn’t just magic them up out of nothing, he abducted them from the modern era! And, in exchange for fifty families being thrown into endless mourning where they’ll never even get the closure of finding a body, those kids aren’t even going to be Hamlet’s ‘friends’ for long. Remembering how the unfortunate kid with bad BO was treated back when I was in middle school they are quickly going to turn on a boy who only bathes once a week.” –Cass

“I shall sleep, which is a normal human behavior, as I am a normal human, and definitely not an android of some sort! …Initiate Trailbot Hibernation Subroutine” –Thomas Keith, on Facebook

“Pluggers characters have names? This changes everything. And not for the better.” –Lee Sherman

“Doc’s on this trip because it was his idea and his map. JJ’s along for the ride because of his intimate knowledge of the area. Mark’s there to avoid having to sleep with Cherry. But can someone remind me why they let Leola come? I thought she was supposed to be the guide, but so far the only thing she’s led anyone to is an outdoorsman store. I know Mark and Doc are pretty rustic, but I think even they could manage a Google search.” –jroggs

“You know, for a guy who supposedly loves nature, Mark Trail sure prefers jammering away about contour lines on maps to watching the cool animal stuff that’s invariably happening like 10 feet away from him.” –Schroduck

“The strained cleverness! The self-congratulations! The soggy goo they’re supposed to put in their mouths! Mason Jarre would find this all revolting if he weren’t using every molecule of his being to hold it together and not let on that he’s tripping balls.” –Handsome Harry Backstayge, Idol of a Million Other Women

“I like to think today’s Dustin represents the sort of non sequitur the family is used to from their idiot son. Today it was ‘I should get a smaller checkbook,’ but it may as well have been ‘I like dogs’ or ‘Fish don’t have wings, except for flying fish, which I guess are birds.’” –Voshkod

“Oh, it’s the reader! He’s fallen asleep again! Heh … I see Doc’s already taking advantage of his chance to finally take a leak. Speaking of which.” –Old Man Muffaroo

“Pull back for a wide shot, and you’ll see that the house is abandoned. Mommy and the others are on vacation in Carlsbad Caverns right now, and they neglected to bring Jeffy. It’s like Home Alone except that the parents never realize their offspring is missing.” –Joe Blevins

“Radio silence? Estelle has been trying to contact Arther on her short-wave radio? Meanwhile, Arther sits by his cell phone, heartbroken, and says to his one-eyed, two-legged dog, Lucky, ‘Nothing but phone silence.’” –LXIX

“He said he would break up with me if I didn’t send him money, and by golly he did! He’s a man of his word, and I must have him back!” –JJ48

“Hi, Estelle — I spent the last three weeks looking for store-bought tuna casserole before realizing that’s not a thing, so I brought a HOME MADE tuna casserole for your cat and — what the HELL???” –DNH

“I’d like to think that in between panels one and two there was a good 15 minutes of complete silence between those two as the rest of the pizza was cooking, Dagwood staring intensely at the over door the entire time.” –pugfuggly

“All the clues are there. Dan’l, as in biblical Daniel — whom only God judges — is gone, presumably to his judgement. Much like Snuffy’s midnight trek to the mill, sleepwalking leads poor Amina to her near death at a mill in Bellini’s La sonnambula. And when pressed, Snuffy drops the Ace of Spades, the death-card. Yes, Snuff and his card-playing friends have been dead from the start. Truly M. Night Shyamalan’s The Snuff Sense rewards repeat viewing.” –Voshkod

“No, Mary, Love Is a comic strip about two naked people. That’s what I want for me and Arthur. I’m sending him that money right now. Thanks, Mary, you’re the greatest.” –Zerowolf

“If you ignore the text in the balloons (you really should), it looks like like Snuffy was facing the difficult choice between starving and eating his dog, but then suddenly decided that he and his dog could eat his wife.” –Ettore

“Like most men who retire before their wives, Alan is visibly disturbed by the prospect of having an on-site supervisor once again. Mark my words: this will lead to nothing but madness, despair, and the completion of house projects.” –pastordan

“As much as I enjoy the ‘sit in a rocking chair in the corner’ punishment trope, I am entirely fixated on whether, at the Gina Ethnicstereotype-o home each morning, after a bracing breakfast of pasta fagioli, the discussion goes, ‘Gina! Don’t forget your headscarf!’ or ‘Ma! Have you seen my headscarf?!’” –Handsome Harry Backstayge, Idol of a Million Other Women

“So did Doc dress as a mountie for any particular reason, or is this just part of his fun slide into dementia?” –pugfuggly

“Another theory: Dennis isn’t on timeout. His new thing when friends come over is to just sit in a rocking chair and spout cliches with a look of contempt on his face. Like when Joey comes over tomorrow, Dennis will just glare at him and say, ‘Power corrupts … absolute power corrupts absolutely.’ Pretty menacing, I’ll give ya that!” –Jenna

“Let’s not screw it up! I’m going to show you one more time, slowly and deliberately, how to do the Charleston!” –Ned Ryerson

“I think if the blond-haired guy had just said, ‘You’re welcome,’ this unpleasantness could have been avoided. But, no, he decided to make a flowery little speech about meaningful interactions. He brought this on himself.” –Joe Blevins

“So if Arthur is such a successful scammer, why does he live in such cartoonishly exaggerated squalor? Because that’s no ordinary squalor. It’s meticulously curated dilapidation, the latest fashion trend, for which well-heeled hipsters are paying big bucks to squalor-lifestyle designers and personal dilapidation coaches.” –Peanut Gallery

“You want to make Six Chix even more horrific? Think about why Gargamel would want to eat the smurfs. It’s got be because they’re an aphrodisiac, right? I mean, it can’t possibly be because he likes their taste, since he’s never successfully captured a smurf. There’s about to be three horny campers in the comic strip, is what I’m saying.” –Thelonious_Nick

“What’s up with Snuffy’s infant-sized head? Everybody else in Hootin’ Holler appears to have a normal, if sometimes lumpy, head. Snuffy’s is small and round. Is he the human equivalent of a Pug dog?” –Lothar of the Hill People

“Dying is merely the gateway to another level of existence, according to the 1970s mystical novel Jonathan Livingston Seagull, which, if that isn’t the birds’ Bible, I don’t know what is. Frankly, I can imagine the Shoe characters in someone’s pad, drinking Scotch and gathering around a hi-fi playing songs from the movie version’s soundtrack, which were written and sung by Neil Diamond. And if Neil Diamond isn’t the Shoe characters’ troubadour, I don’t know who is.” –BigTed

“Roz, her eyes always half-closed in a dismissive state of perpetual ennui that can only be achieved when life has beaten you down and you work almost non-stop in a dead end job where you see some things, wonders why anyone would want to try and avoid the sweet embrace of death.” –Dread

“That withering look! That gun placed close at hand! Alberto Famoni’s second wife: ‘You’ll drop that i from your name, or I’ll shoot it off! Capisce?’” –The Mighty Untrained FOOZLE

“Dick Tracy gently eases readers into its world with the Crimestoppers Textbook. ‘Never trust anyone! Never let your guard down for a second! There are criminals everywhere, just waiting to prey on you! Okay, now here’s our hero gunning down some guy we don’t care about in a dump. Enjoy!’” –Joe Blevins

“This is inappropriate for Easter. People were happy when Jesus returned from the dead.” –nescio

“So Bonnie Tracy gets asked out to a nice restaurant by a successful sportswriter, and Dick shoots him dead, halfway through their first date. ‘Oh Dad — again???’, sighs Bonnie, as she stares wistfully at the pack of condoms that she has kept in her purse since 2003, and that she knows she will never, ever get a chance to use.” –seismic-2

“Anyone who’s been to Hoboken in the past quarter century knows that its high rents and well-to-do young professionals have transformed it from its former image as a rough, unglamorous, working-class town. Using that stereotype of Hoboken already stopped making sense by 1990. The fact that the strip got this wrong is the most Pluggers thing about it.” –Larry McAwful

“…and I mean a really lousy shot! Did you see yesterday’s comic? We were less than ten feet apart and not moving! I know some people criticize us for being too blasé about the deaths of our fellow human beings, but when you see ineptitude like this, does the guy even really qualify as human?” –JJ48

“Thank you, narration box! ‘A quiet afternoon at the Morgans’’ is the summary we all needed of the snoozefest that Rex Morgan, M.D. has become.” –pastordan

“Just realized Free Comic Book Day isn’t until May 4 this year, so we have another full 2 weeks of FCD jokes to come. Looking forward to the next mini arc where Atomik Komix realize they’re getting too many Starbuck Jones returns, so they hastily staple new covers on the old issues, add in a 4 page sponsored story where Starbuck Jones says ‘The only thing faster than my jetboots is your weekly fresh meal kit delivery from Blue Apron!’, and unleash their deeply disappointing free comic on an unsuspecting public.” –Schroduck

“The central angel’s puckered mouth is unsettling. Everything else around it is drawn with the same loose carelessness we’ve come to expect from Six Chix, but that mouth is a perfect, circular void of emptiness.” –TheDiva

“It’s very hard to imagine how anyone draws that picture of a balding, goateed, overdressed man with his hands clasped together and thinks, ‘this is my story’s main protagonist’ instead of ‘this is the stuffed shirt character who accidentally gets a bucket of something disgusting dumped on him for quick, cheap laughs.’” –Dan

“What’s really sad are the presents. Sure, this is Heaven and your every desire will come true instantaneously, but because we know how ridiculously insecure and in need of constant reassurance you are we’ve conjured a mountain of ‘gifts’ that hold no intrinsic value whatsoever. No, excuse me while I water ski on the back of a shark in a river of pure, molten gold in a human pyramid including perfect facsimiles of every girl I’ve ever had a crush on. Enjoy your brightly wrapped boxes of knickknacks and gaming systems your parents refused to buy you when they were still new.” –WLP

“It looks like sunbeam has indeed been taking vitamins. Specifically, draining them from Trixie’s increasingly exhausted and unhealthy father.” –jroggs

“Comic strips remember a simpler time, when bullying and making people cry were done in person and in the open, not on Twitter! Also, it involved older kids at worst, not thirty-year-old influencers promoting their paid newsletter.” –Ettorre

“This is the date Estelle will remember as the day she made the choice to go all-in for love, which resulted in her losing her retirement savings and living the rest of her life in her grand-niece’s basement. It’s also the date Mary will always remember as the day she found those deck shoes that go so well with her favorite scarf on Zappos.” –Handsome Harry Backstayge, Idol of a Million Other Women

“I like how it looks as though Mary’s phone isn’t even on, just a prop she uses when she wants to give her musings a bit more weight. ‘Oooh, and look here, this article says that pastel purple is the hottest thing in fashion right now! Isn’t that interesting?” –pugfuggly

“Just wanted to say I am totally here for the apathetic Narration Box. ‘Just got a back massage. Or whatever. They could have said this out loud, but then I wouldn’t get paid. Speaking of, it’s time for my smoke break. Narration Box OUT!’” –The Mighty Untrained FOOZLE

“My name is Martina, and I am good old all-American molodezh’, I mean youngster, da. I am enjoy fine town of … of … not Sverdlovsk, nyet, fine town we are in here now! I am in America to run and skip and jump like frivolous child, not karlik assigned to sleeper cell, nyet! So, do any of your papas work in defense or intelligence?” –Voshkod