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You know what time it is, y’all: it’s comment of the week time!

“Here’s a friendly tip: If a cop comes up to you while you’re drinking with stolen money and stands with his hands on his hips and his groin in your face and asks, ‘Hey, Pal. Are you [your name here]’ … even if you’re proud to have a clever nickname (such as ‘Scooter’), the correct answer is, ‘Nope.’” –handsome Harry Backstayge, idol of a million other women

It’s also time to enjoy some runners up:

“She makes me a Big Brother! With the cameras installed in her glassy eyes, I can watch the citizens and neutralise the Outer Party subversives while inspiring absolute devotion in my followers. First the kindergarten, then Oceania!” –Schroduck

“I’m trying to picture what it must be like to try and sell Shoe to a newspaper. ‘Have I got a comic strip for you! It’s about these birds, see? And they spend most of their time drinking to forget the terrible things they’ve done! … Hello? Hello?'” –Joe Blevins

“By failing to give us the title of Smith’s farce, the strip skips over dozens of potentially amusing puns. It could have been Bye Bye Birdie, A Wing & A Prayer, La Cage Aux Folles … but clearly the writers of daily comic strips aren’t aiming for jokes.” –Spunky The Wonder Squid

“Jesus, does the Perfesser writer all his reviews with that same kind if overdetailed introduction? ‘Roz’s cafe, with its selection of plant and animal matter, can provide sustenance…’” –pugfuggly

“So, you are telling me that Dad faked his death because he could not stand you, his horrible wife, and he did not care for his terrible sons. Could you explain me how he did it, step by step? I am asking for a friend.” –Ettorre

“A college student whose father just told her that he’s going away for a year and leaving her living rent-free in a condo well stocked with cookies? ‘I’ll be fine’ might be the year’s biggest understatement.” –Lacey Wootton, on Facebook

“Nah, kid, we got the Tooth Vulture. Look, could you hurry up and die of exposure already? I don’t have all day.” –Doctor Handsome

“All my friends have flown the coop or gone home to roost. Did I mention I’m a chicken? Yep, still a chicken here.” –BigTed

“A little bit of today’s headline is cut off in The Daily Bugle. The full headline reads ‘The City is a Safe!’ and details the villainy of ‘The Locksmith,’ who has enclosed New York City in a giant safe. It’s a brilliant way of setting up Spider-man’s next failure.” –Voshkod

“It’s rare to see a joke on the comics page that was clearly not vetted by any part of a rational mind. ‘Are this vulture and this kid friends?’ ‘Sure, sounds good.’ ‘Yeah, but birds … do birds have or understand teeth?’ ‘Nightmare birds do.’ ‘Okay, cool!’” –Victor Von

“Hold your fire, men! Seriously, you’ve already blown off one of my arms, it looks like!” –Proteus454

“I am charmed by Peter’s phrasing — ‘o’coffee’ could be a hip new way to say ‘Irish coffee.’ And let’s face it: it’s not like hard liquor could make him any worse.” –Irrischano

“Whole swaths of research have been written about the Pygmalion effect, something that frames up how higher expectations lead to an increase in performance. Did we create Dennis? Are we the reason he must snarl and bite and play the menace? Nope! Some kids are just shitty.” –Chareth Cutestory

“Ah yes, good old Arthur’s Bar, where it’s less than six feet from front door to barstool, where they hang framed geometry on the wall, and where The Nothing waits right outside the only window. I can see why Leroy is the happiest person there.” –Steve S

“Frikkin’ Mitchells had to set up a goddamn spotlight for their joke. Sure Henry, you’re a goddamn Neil Simon.” –Dan

Thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar or backed me on Patreon! And let’s give thanks to our advertisers:

• Bluebeards Original is proud to join The Comics Curmudgeon as an advertiser! Company owner Paul Kaniewski is a longtime follower of this site, to the point that it inspired him to created the famed Aldo Kelrast MySpace profile. Bluebeards has been making top-rated beard care products for ten years now, so any bearded folks or those that love them, please check out the site and try their stuff.
• Two Party Opera: A daily comic that features the Presidents of the United States as they live on the stage of history with the day-to-day news of political mudslinging.
• And if you haven’t bought my novel yet, you should! You can get it in hardback, paperback, or ebook forms. It’s called The Enthusiast, and it’s about trains, comics, stealth marketing, capitalism, and joy.

If you would like to buy advertising on the Comics Curmudgeon, you can do so on a CPM basis through BuySellAds. To find out more, you can go to the site’s BuySellAds page or just click here.

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Hey folks! Just FYI, I’m moving this here website to a shiny new server today, with the process beginning around 5:30 pm Pacific Time and lasting several hours. There may be some downtime, and there also may be some comments that get lost during the transition, so don’t panic or fret if you encounter either of those scenarios this evening. I’ll post an update to this when the job is done.

UPDATE: If you’re seeing this, you’re on the new server. Hooray! Go about your business, safe in the knowledge that you have reached the promised land, server-wise.

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Without any ado at all: here’s your comment of the week!

“‘The Falcon & Guzzwanker’ are a ‘Morning Zoo’-style radio team. What ‘Morning Zoo’ means in the Shoeverse is anybody’s guess.” –Horn O’Plenty, on Twitter

And here are your runners up! Very funny.

“Precinct is a funny word. Try it. Precinct. Precinct, precinct, precinct. See? I daresay it’s the funniest part of this strip.” –Proteus454

“A 3 month time jump and two people directly involved in an event that would certainly involve multiple criminal cases and civil lawsuits are living in Alaska, presumably far, far from the scene. Sam must be a much better lawyer than we thought.” –UncleJeff

“Finally, Ces’s master plan is revealed: He’s going to turn Judge Parker into a grittier, more realistic remake of Moose and Molly. It has always bugged the hell out of him that Moose Miller is not an actual moose.” –Peanut Gallery

“Looks like someone’s getting his penis hot-glued to his thigh while he sleeps!” –Steve S

“Uh, Vic, when you make copies of money you should get color copies.” –Liam

“And with control of the newspaper comes control of the NATION! Stop laughing, guys, I’m serious.” –Chyron HR

“The fire ants have not only developed trebuchets, but they understand the danger enemy air supremacy poses.” –Voshkod

“Interesting choice for Wilbur to channel Darth Vader. ‘If you came with me, we could explore the world together as blogger and mom.’” –Mr. Bunn

“I like how Wilbur is pitching this as a fun voyage of exploration instead of what it actually is: a miserable global search for survivors of tragedy. C’mon, Iris, don’t you want to be able to learn the phrase for ‘Sorry for your loss but can you please speak into the mic’ in a dozen different languages?” –pugfuggly

“I’ve never realized this before, but Charterstone is apparently a gated community. I’m certainly glad that its fixed-income retirees, food-service workers, and mid-level university and newspaper employees are safe from having their belongings stolen by the criminal underworld that surely infests this idyllic beach town. (Oh, but P.S.: The drug addicts are on the inside!)” –BigTed

“I never thought it’d be Mark Trail that’d fill the Mythbusters-shaped hole in my life, but I’m not going to look a gift horse shown exploding from multiple angles in the mouth.” –Truckosaurus

“OK, so in this bird-society that practices the death penalty, what exactly is this ‘electric chair’? A Kenny Rogers Roaster?” –Dood

“I know I could have just said I put a camera here, but I’m the insufferable type. So really, it’s a delayed-action camera. I use a Leica M-series rangefinder, and recently I upgraded to a Leica Monochrom M because I like the shutter speed. I like a good lens and something to indicate depth of field — hey, wait, where are you guys going??” –Chareth Cutestory

“Hoping that boat explodes too. In fact, hoping Mark Trail becomes a never-ending roll of amusing onomatopoeic transport-splosions. ‘Hey, Abbey’s hovercraft!’ BLOOOSH ‘Hey, Abbey’s zeppelin!’ WHAAANG ‘Hey, Abbey’s ekranoplan!’ KLAAAAM” –Schroduck

“It comforts me slightly to know that Crankshaft will be made wretched by the inexorable march of progress until the day death takes him.” –TheDiva

“He may have ripped out the back or his coat, but I’m glad he can still wear his belt of big toes. Wear it with pride, Snuffy.” –greenantler

Thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! And let’s give thanks to our advertisers:

• Bluebeards Original is proud to join The Comics Curmudgeon as an advertiser! Company owner Paul Kaniewski is a longtime follower of this site, to the point that it inspired him to created the famed Aldo Kelrast MySpace profile. Bluebeards has been making top-rated beard care products for ten years now, so any bearded folks or those that love them, please check out the site and try their stuff.
• Two Party Opera: A daily comic that features the Presidents of the United States as they live on the stage of history with the day-to-day news of political mudslinging.
• And if you haven’t bought my novel yet, you should! You can get it in hardback, paperback, or ebook forms. It’s called The Enthusiast, and it’s about trains, comics, stealth marketing, capitalism, and joy.

If you would like to buy advertising on the Comics Curmudgeon, you can do so on a CPM basis through BuySellAds. To find out more, you can go to the site’s BuySellAds page or just click here.