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Many funny comments this week, but this one was my top pick!

“Dolly knows that even with her bundlers she’s going to need to rely on soft money if she has any hope of unseating the incumbent Thel, who has a hefty war chest and the support of the high-waisted slacks lobby. Pretty sure this conversation with Jeffy qualifies as illegal coordination of campaign activity, though.” –Shoe Substitute

And yet I mentioned the many other funny ones, didn’t I? Here they are!

“I can already see the headlines: BILLIONAIRE POWER-COUPLE FOUND DEAD AT RANCH OF APPARENT HEART ATTACKS! RANCH OWNER TO INHERIT ENTIRE FORTUNE! ‘NOTHING SUSPICIOUS ABOUT THAT AT ALL’, SAY POLICE!” –pugfuggly

“Don’t worry, Max will have his revenge. Judging from the strange angle and lack of diffusion or flickering, that’s not really Max’s shadow — it’s a hell-dimension ghost-demon that will make sure ‘every word’ of Max’s story comes true tonight.” –BigTed

“I love the last panel of today’s Mary Worth, to the point that I wouldn’t mind seeing it as part of every strip from now on. There’s something comforting about the thought that no matter where you are, no matter what’s happening, somewhere, someone’s taking a ride in a hot air balloon and thoroughly enjoying themself.” –Enlong

“I may not know much about art, but I know it isn’t drawing hydroencephalitic five year olds that look like Newt Gingrich.” –Mikey

“Whoa, there, Voiceover Box! BETTER SWITCH TO DECAF!” –boojum

“I still insist that Sarah is not a child at all but rather folksy NPR humorist Garrison Keillor in a very bad wig.” –Joe Blevins

“Speaking of leadership, when do I get to be the Phantom? Do I have to kill you?” –Liam

“I saw the Rex Morgan strip right after the Judge Parker one and was confused/outraged that there were two of the same stupid soap strips in one day. I’m pretty convinced that despite the two separate ‘storylines’ they’re really just the same bland rich white people who never actually have to do the jobs in their titles. I’ve only devoted enough space in my brain for unholy hybrid Rex Parker, JD, and I’m comfortable with that.” –Revenge of Chestnut

“This whole thing is starting to make my HEAD hurt! But not as much as my arm right now. Dear God, how am I doing this?” –Jack loves comics

“‘This whole thing is starting to make my head hurt!’ Well, tough luck, Spidey. That blanket is staying modestly clutched about MJ’s clavicle until you answer her riddles three.” –Tonya

“There’s a fantastic place I want us to check out! It’s called a barn. Do you like eggs? Ever tried ’em raw? How about sucking milk straight from a cow’s udder? Since we’ve been apart I’ve totally gotten into the whole locavore thing.” –Spunky The Wonder Squid

“I’m pretty sure Sarah’s neck is getting narrower with each passing day. Apparently her oversized head is devouring the rest of her body.” –dmsilev

“As a three-year old I was chased by a homicidal flock of geese for no reason at all, so ‘aaah geese’ is the first line in Mark Trail I can truly relate to.” –C. Sandy Cyst

“Evil? I’m coming, Gabby! But to be honest, you had me at ‘dangerous.'” –Hogenmogen

“That was so exciting my human skin mask almost came off!” –TheDiva

“‘Monies’? Prithee, methinks Dolly hath been left in front of Shakespeare ’pon the television.” –Horace Boon

“Someone needs to splice the hot air balloon that’s carrying boring ex-cop #1 (female) and boring ex-cop #2 (male) from Monday’s Mary Worth into the last panel of today’s Mark Trail. We could all then imagine, with joy and satisfaction, the last words of the boring ex-cops as ‘Aahhh! Geese!’ as their anserine assaulters take down the hot air balloon in a welter of blood, feathers, and flame.” –Voshkod

“There’s some serious ‘Check these out!’/’Oh, I am’ action going in panel three, which Dashell is totally missing.” –Pozzo

“I’m not in the movie business, but isn’t it traditional for the actress and the stunt double to have the same colored hair?” –But What Do I Know

Thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! If you’d like to buy advertising on the site, you can do so on a CPM basis through BuySellAds. To find out more, you can go to my BuySellAds page or just click here.

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Let’s get right to it with this week’s top comment!

“Mark seems so unnatural when he smiles that you just know it’s a task he’s broken down into smaller steps. ‘Okay, Trail, raise the eyebrows by 20 degrees. Now, use your facial muscles to bring up the corners of your mouth a little. That’s it. Don’t forget to flash those upper teeth just a little. Not too much.’ He hasn’t quite mastered what to do with his eyes, though, so he still looks like there’s a gun to his back the whole time.” –Joe Blevins

And the hilarious runners up!

“Pluggers are so old that they disdain this newfangled ‘literacy’ idea.” –Danel

“If you didn’t get the joke in Pluggers, it’s because you didn’t figure out where Grandpa is.” –vewatkin

“I thought that after Herb used the barefaced sexual euphemism ‘Complicated crossword puzzle’ he might stop there, but he just kept doubling down on it. ‘I must’ve shoved a few pieces in my pocket without realizing it’. ‘We were both so exhausted we decided to call it quits’. For shame, comic strip. Think of the children.” –Jack loves comics

“The walk was … revealing. I may have to button my blouse next time.” –Pozzo

“The joke here, of course that it was Dennis that shit on his dad’s car, dressed as Grover.” –pugfuggly

“What was the Band Box’s criminal offense at trial? Was its music too upbeat?” –Dood

“And where we’re going is a place called Aldo’s Curve. It’s the only way I could think of to end this thing cleanly.” –Artist formerly known as Ben

“A guy stumbles into a rundown fleabag hotel, sweating, with pie-plate dilated eyes, sputtering something about wanting to see a gorgeous redhead dressed like a superhero. Temporarily he’s distracted by his own shriveled desiccated hands. It’s nothing the clerk, himself a holdout from the time before the hotel decided to go seedy, hasn’t already seen twice since he came on duty this morning.” –handsome Harry Backstayge, idol of a million other women

“Why is nothing never easy? Why is the head of a sneering man growing from my shoulder? Should I get that looked at by a doctor?” –Voshkod

“And when you do work, you can use it to move an object or bring it to a stop. And the path of least resistance is usually through a copper wire. If you need more advice, please order the Physics Platter.” –Enlong

“I don’t want my wife to think I’m some kind of creep! Now where did that tracker that I force her to wear at all times say she was?” –Brad

“It’s too bad he didn’t get a teaching position, because then he’d have pupils.” –A Concerned Reader

“But I would assume to presume to assume you didn’t assume I knew … wait, let me start over.” –TheDiva

“I’m gonna take a cue from Rex and try that out. ‘No, I don’t know how fast I was going, Officer. Sarah wasn’t involved.’ [let off with warning] ‘Sorry, I can’t make the rent payment at this time. Sarah wasn’t involved.’ [wins the lottery] ‘I have six months to a year, doctor? Oh, come on. Sarah wasn’t involved.’ [death itself no longer exists]” –made of wince

“Yes, it’s the car that has been attracting bad vibes all along. Not your creeptastic blackmailing pseudo-prodigy daughter, it’s the car.” –bad wolf

Thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! If you’d like to buy advertising on the site, you can do so on a CPM basis through BuySellAds. To find out more, you can go to my BuySellAds page or just click here.

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Hi all! A quick few items on the recently completed fundraiser:

• I just sent out a batch of rewards today, polishing off my reserves of magnets and tote bags. Both reserves should be replenished by the end of the month, so don’t panic if you don’t see your reward just yet. I’ll put up another note here when the second and final batch goes out.
• You are only in line for a reward if you filled out the Google Form like I asked in the thank-you email I sent you! So, if you are one of the eleven people who got that email and didn’t fill out the form, you are not getting any rewards, unless you fill it out, which you are still welcome to do!
• If you’re saying “Hey, wait, I never got any thank-you email with any link,” you may be one of the three people whose email addresses just bounced back any attempt to communicate with you! Or maybe you’re one of the other people and it went to your spam filter or something. Please email me either way at bio@jfruh.com and we’ll get you taken care of!