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Hey guys! Just a short comment of the week list from the second half of the week — your Uncle Lumpy loved you all too much this week to pick and choose your favorite comments. But first: if you gave during the fundraiser, you should’ve gotten an email by now with a link to a survey where you can let me know what reward, if any, you want. If you haven’t gotten one yet, please email me at jfruh@jfruh.com and I’ll send you the link. (UPDATE: It turns out that due a goof on my part, I found at least five donors that I didn’t send emails to! You may have just gotten a note just now. And if you haven’t please definitely email me!) About 20% of you haven’t filled it out yet, and I can’t send you your reward if you haven’t filled it out! And even if you don’t want anything, please take a minute to fill it out to tell me so — otherwise I’m going to go a little crazy worrying you never got the email.

Anyway! That housekeeping done, here’s your comment of the week:

“Now think about this — if you had never read this comic before, you would see a toddler writing/drawing his ‘diary’ from his diaper days, with CRAYONS, and refusing to go to sleep when placed in his crib. There is absolutely NO mention of excrement. Their Pavlovian experiment has been successful — we only have to see Marvin to think ‘poop joke.’ Our minds have been trained to see what’s not there. I consider this to be more menacing than any Dennis cartoon.” –Arabella

And your very funny runners up!

“I SENSED SOMEBODY behind me — But it’s honestly a little difficult to sense anything with you so uncomfortably close and your head on my shoulder, Natasha. Do you realize you’re doing it? Is this intentional? Let’s keep this a strictly working relationship, all right? I’ve already got one wife I don’t care about, I don’t need another.” –Jack loves comics

Funky Winkerbean: “Les struggles to remember what ‘joking’ means. ‘It’s … like passive-aggressive punning, only funny?’ he hazards.” –Horace Broon

“Just when the ‘Is this Dress White or Bue’ started to die down, Pluggers drags us all back in.” –maltmash3r

“The income Henry earns clicking the ‘REJECT’ button on insurance forms is communal property, shared by The Missus. Dennis will learn this after his first divorce.” –Johnny Knuckles

“Didn’t Mark Trail stop a charging hippopotamus once by jamming a flaming tree branch in its mouth? So Mark should be able to stop the forest fire by jamming a charging hippopotamus into the flaming trees.” –KreatureFeatures

“That cyclops just invoked the name of Mistofer, the Dark Lord of The Revenuer! Hide yer still, Snuffy, The Man has his eye on you!” –Mumblix Grumph

“I haven’t been following Mark Trail too closely, but don’t tell me that Emerald Ash Borer Beetles have discovered the secret of making fire! Don’t worry about telling everyone, nice bureaucrat lady; we’re all doomed now.” –Joe Momma

“And then she trips over another branch and her hair falls down and oh my God she was conventionally attractive all along.” –C. Sandy Cyst

Thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! If you’d like to buy advertising on the site, you can do so on a CPM basis through BuySellAds. To find out more, you can go to my BuySellAds page or just click here.

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Click the banner to contribute to the Comics Curmudgeon. Details here.

Twice a year, I host a fundraiser to augment Josh’s income from the lucrative standup-comedy business, and thank him for the time, effort, and talent he puts into the Comics Curmudgeon every day. What’s that you say? “Yes, yes Uncle Lumpy, we pretty much know the drill by now, but what’s this ‘crawlspace’ business?”

Well asked! It turns out that however stylish and comfortable it may be, Josh’s and Amber’s new digs in L.A. are a little, um, compact. So some of the treasures left over from fundraisers of yore went into storage, under the house. Check it out:

What kind of treasures? Well, Comics Curmudgeon tote bags, for one:

And classic Rex Morgan, M.D., Judge Parker, and Mary Worth refrigerator magnets handmade by superfan Matt Crowe, for two:

Now, those treasures are coming out! Every contributor of $5 or more will receive a legacy comic magnet from this lovingly curated (and carefully preserved) collection. And contributors of $25 or more will receive both a magnet and a stylish and highly collectible tote bag! Finally, every contributor of any amount will receive the grateful thanks of Josh, me, the entire worldwide Comics Curmudgeon fan base, and posterity.

To contribute by credit card or PayPal, click the banner at the top of the page and follow the instructions on the secure PayPal site. To contribute by check or money order, email uncle.lumpy@comcast.net and I’ll reply with an address. Full details here.

As an added treat, I’ve dug through my own personal crawlspace (don’t ask) to select all-time best fundraising banners — more than 100 in all from the past seven years — now in rotation at the top of the page. Enjoy revisiting beloved characters from the past, or see the index on the “full details” page for even more time-wastin’ fun.

Thank you, generous readers!

— Uncle Lumpy

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Augh! Guys, apologies, but here’s a kind of truncated COTW post — been a crazy last couple days and haven’t harvested as many as usual. Still, this one’s pretty funny?

“Frogs can’t grow hair. The feminine eyelashes are false, put in to adhere to the Easily Identifiable Animal Genders act of 1947.” –Enlong

And so are these runners up!

“I like how the Perfesser breaks the fourth wall there, staring directly at the reader. ‘My misery is your entertainment. Laugh it up now because soon you’ll be the one in the chair.'” –Spunky The Wonder Squid

“If anyone’s starting an ‘Abbey Raises An Eyebrow’ Tumblr, today’s your lucky day. CONTENT JACKPOT.” –Dan

“‘Ooops … It slipped!’ [Blonde bully girl character keys car] ‘Still slipping!’ [Pokes out tires] ‘My hands are very sweaty today!’ [Begins to stab Kelly and chauffeur repeatedly in stomachs]” –Jack loves comics

“‘Nice to meet you, Mr. Wood’ is exactly the sort of thing a giant Emerald Ash Borer hiding inside a human lady skin would say.” –Jym the Wildlife Man

“Ralph is going to send a message to the city’s politicians: your assumption that the people of this city are apathetic and powerless and can be safely ignored is entirely accurate.” –Nekrotzar

“Our plugger friend here doesn’t even has his computer turned on. That’s how much of a shit he doesn’t give about this job. The people on the Pistachio Advisory Council will certainly fire him after they learn of this.” –Joe Blevins

“What the hell does a plugger tweet about? ‘Remember when we used to call twitter the bathroom wall?’ and ‘Just found out what Lovin’ Spoonful really meant & it’s not coffee grouds.Yuck LOL’ and ‘Just ate ham sammidge, contemplated own mortality.'” –Lily Sincere

Thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! If you’d like to buy advertising on the site, you can do so on a CPM basis through BuySellAds. To find out more, you can go to my BuySellAds page or just click here. Uncle Lumpy is coming! Be good to him!