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Hey, no Comments of the Week from me — look for a double dose when Josh gets back next week. But we can’t let the day pass without thanking our advertisers:

• Blood of the Lamb: Don’t miss this new thriller from Sam Cabot! The Historian meets The Da Vinci Code in this supernatural thriller set in Rome, where rival groups search for a mysterious document that could shatter the Catholic Church. On sale now, or connect with the author on Facebook!

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Have a great weekend, everybody!

— Uncle Lumpy

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Your comment of the week is here! Isn’t it exciting!

“That’s a pretty sophisticated navigation of verb tenses for a Keane. I’m just sayin’.” –Damian

And the runners up! Very hilarious!

“I’m digging the doorbell on Reeky’s cot-sized house.” –Naked Bunny with a Whip

MW: “The only possible relief in sight to this non-stop blither would be for Mary and June to trip over a pile of bones out in the desert, and for June to say, ‘Oh Mary! I told you I was unhappy because I lost my husband, but look — here he is! Yep, that’s him, all right. I’d know that tibia anywhere. Well, he’s not lost any more, so now I’m OK. Thanks, Mary. Bye!'” –seismic-2

“In the first panel, Perfesser is saying ‘Yeah’ during breaks in the conversation, in order to maintain the fiction that some kind of meaningful human interaction is taking place. By the second panel, he’s even given up on that, because he’s dead.” –Nekrotzar

“The true selling point of this comic is the angry child’s reaction. ‘Flying magic wee-wee pads? Damn, I wish I could urinate in public like dogs. Then I could fly too. Wait … what’s stopping me?’ We can be grateful Heathcliff isn’t a multi-panel strip.” –Christopher

“Notice that the caption of this particular cartoon does not even end with an exclamation point. If any situation called for an exclamation point, it’s this one.” –Joe Blevins

“There’s no better place to appreciate bean bags of any size than in a dedicated bean bag room, bereft of any other furniture, decorations or other non-bean-stuffed distractions. Speaking of which: Archie, grab a bean bag or get the fuck out.” –pugfuggly

“Remember when everyone wore Beanie Babies on their head? Yeah, neither do I.” –Dood

“Pop quiz: Which of these two women is the tallest? If you guessed Mary, then I’m sorry — see panel 2. If you guessed That Other Woman, then I’m sorry — see panel 1. The correct answer is that it depends on the position and movement of the women relative to the observer. (Note, accordingly, that That Other Woman is in the process of approaching the speed of light.)” –vewatkin

“Marvin’s dad in that last panel is just … just mellowin’ with the trees, ya dig? No problem with the baby, man. You can keep him! You can — can pick up all the chicks! You just let me have a little more of your fantastic weeeeeed.” –Black Drazon

“Spider-Man/ Spider-Man/ Ugly American Spider-Man/ Can he speak/ Your native tongue?/ No he can’t/ Cuz he’s too dumb. Look out! He is the Spider-Man.” –Bunivasal

Thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here.

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Why, is it that time of week already? Comment of the week time? I believe it is!

“Archie pauses. ‘…food court!’ Betty stares at him for a moment, uncomfortable at the idea that she’s been in a constant battle for this man’s affection for more than half a century. This is the pun that breaks me, she thinks. I wonder how Ronnie feels about blondes.” –Bunivasal

And it is also time for your runners up!

“Yay, musk oxen! It’s fun to speculate that if Rusty attempted to name one of them ‘Oscar’ and cuddle it in his arms, he might get stomped to death.” –Poteet

“‘Oh, sorry for assaulting you, miss! I thought I was defending myself from a small child. It’s not like I have any extra-sensory powers to warn me of danger. Also, I completely forgot that I asked you to wake me up. (Hang in there, Tarantula! Relief is on the way! –Hey, where’s my phone?)’ [INHALES SODA, CHOKES, SPIT-SNEEZES ALL OVER EVERYONE]” –damanoid

“That burrito is going to get a early parole because of prison overcrowding.” –tallyHO

Phantom: “‘The 19th Phantom races across No Man’s Land! To save the Aeronaut!’ –As opposed to the guy he just ran over with his horse. He’s probably dead, anyway.” –Lumaca Morente

A3G: “‘I left South Dakota, came to New York and here I am.’ I guess with Tommie on vacation, Lu Ann has to be the dumb one and the dull one.” –pugfuggly

“I like the fact that Sideburn Q. Burnside’s word balloon has its own word balloon. He may not be worried about Mark, but the word balloon sure is.” –Pozzo

“The Phantom! Uses Exclamation Points! Strangely!” –jim, some guy in iowa

“As usual, this strip strains credulity – no one has ever wanted Mark Trail anywhere.” –WeatherServo9

“It says a lot that Spidey has to seek protection from a mob so weenie that it’s led by Rick Moranis.” –commodorejohn

“‘Ha Ha! They’ll find Trail dead, frozen, and think it was an accident! Then they’ll look at his camera and … oh crap, I have to go in there and get the camera after all.’ [UNSLAM]” –Little Blue Bicycle

“If Margaret were truly a competent attorney, she would know that just throwing on an ill-fitting black blazer over her pastels will not provide the gravitas needed to confront the authorities. A pleated skirt and ruffled polo shirt? Mary Janes and pink knee-socks? Puh-lease.” –Fashion Police

“Shame Lu Ann can’t see speech bubbles, because that’s a crazyman’s lettering if I ever saw it.” –C. Sandy Cyst

“The blond took two steps forward; she heard something, maybe a twig snapping. But out here in the desert there were no twigs. She turned, and the white-haired biddy was pointing a revolver at her, cocked and ready. The barrel was as wide as death itself. ‘So what do you think, girl?’ Mary Worth snarled. ‘You think they’ll remember you well? I know what I think.’ The blond could see Mary’s knuckle whiten as she tightened her grip on the trigger. ‘I think you’ll be a pile of bleached-out bones in a few weeks, and the only thing people will remember about you is that you crossed Mary Worth.'” –Voshkod

“I love the gap in body language between Mary Worth and Whatsername Widow Purplesmock. Mary’s running a Zig Ziglar seminar in the middle of the desert, while Whatsername is just shivering as she gazes into the distance, waiting for this to be over.” –lorne

Thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here.