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Ha ha, this week, right? Ugh. Hopefully this comment of the week will distract you:

“So now you can say ‘fartsy’ in the comics? It’s probably best that my mother did not live to see this.” –Arabella

And the runners up! Very funny!

“The real crime here is that frilly-collared thing with the heart on the front. That’s what polyester is for, people.” –The Rt. Venerable Pastordan

“Silk may be the finest fabric, Slylock, but pelts bring top dollar, so watch it.” –sporknpork

“Yeah? Well, fuck Wilson. WE’RE the ones who are liable for you. He has to deal with what, like one pun a day?” –Doctor Handsome

“I’m impressed, actually, that Herb and Jamaal’s social-networking site got a name, not just ‘that popular social-networking site.’ But giving Jamaal’s ‘pal’ a gender of any kind would have been too much specificity for one strip.” –Mark

“I’m not particularly a fan of reality shows but The Neurotic Shut-ins of Charterstone is something I might actually watch.” –Violet

“Best case scenario: Beth is hit by an asteroid and Mary spends weeks reminding us how fragile life can be, especially when it’s smashed by a space rock travelling at 20,000 mph.” –Ed Dravecky

“Surely I can’t be the first person to suggest that that ‘Les, Miserable’ would be a great title for the Dead Lisa movie.” –Lumaca Morente

“I’m figuring if you want to start introducing someone to outdoor life, you don’t start off with primitive camping. You rent a deluxe cabin, or a room at a luxurious lakeside lodge. Then, as you say, you start of with a short hike, or some nice lakeside lounging. Maybe some relaxed spin-casting with a nice cooler of beer and some comfy chairs … After a day or two of that, you turn her loose in the woods with nothing but a knife and forbid her from coming back until she’s killed a deer and eaten its heart!” –Cloudbuster

“I know that Rex tends to looked perplexed at the best of times, but it seems that Milton’s knowledge of his wife’s pregnancy has literally blown his mind. ‘Women talk … to each other?’ he thinks, smoke billowing out of his ears.” –pugfuggly

Mark Trail: “Why can’t I get a cell phone signal out here? Oh right, we’re in the middle of the wilderness, and it’s 1955.” –Artist formerly known as Ben

“Poor, poor businessman. Shouldn’t a man of his age and wealth know, just as you never start a land war in Asia, never start a smug-dick-off with Rex Morgan?” –He Brought Queenie Baby Jesus

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The weekend is here, and with it, your comment of the week!

“Cayla’s face demonstrating how much she is enjoying the fruits of Lisa’s death is the very heart and soul of the strip.” –Jack Scat

And the hilarious runners up!

“If Shelley doesn’t like the outdoors now, I have a feeling she may hate the outdoors by the time this camping trip [cue ominous music] is over.” –Poteet

“I compliment Slick Smitty for his sheer ballsiness. When making a sales call with carnivores, he dresses in a meat colored suit.” –Hogenmogen

“Mary, please give Wilbur his advice column back. When did he return from his trip, six months ago? Alone he sits, eating mayonnaise straight out of the jar and perusing Kite Action magazine. You monster.” –KreatureFeatures

“If I don’t slow down, my heart is going to explode! In fact, it might cause a BOOM on the market! Hah hah, no seriously I will die.” –Notebooked

“So, Mark, I’d like you to take Shelly on a tour of Lost Forest. Teach her that the forest is peaceful and has nothing for her to fear. Maybe start with a tour of the places that your hideous ward was either kidnapped or shot at from above. Show her the drug fields and the famous skeleton tree. Then maybe after a hearty pancake lunch you can show her Cherry’s giant beaver. That should all help her see what she’s been missing.” –Mikey

“The cardiologist ran no tests but pronounced his patient a ‘time bomb’? Seems legit. Rex asks the first man he sees to remove his shirt? Of course. Rex’s nurse giving the guy a hot cup of coffee right before an EKG? Sorry, that ‘ping”’was my suspension of disbeief snapping.” –Ed Dravecky

“I remain deeply suspicious of time-traveling Harry Truman’s motives in this particular Mark Trail plotline. I can’t tell you how, but I’m quite sure that it will develop that Cherry and Shelley’s presence in the woods will result in an attempt on Gov. Thomas Dewey’s life.” –Crankenstank

“Kingpin must have spent a fortune on that funky retro-sci-fi floating video monitor, so he can Skype with his mind-control victim: The blind guy.” –Doctor Handsome

“Telling your girlfriend what to wear/ Is boorish and intrusive/ You can’t write poetry for shit/ And you’re quite possibly abusive” –Mustang

“‘Hey, did you see that, Bob?’ ‘What, Bill?’ ‘That floating, bobbing television with the commanding visage of a fat man? You know, the one following that guy dressed in a red costume around?’ ‘Huh. Well, that’s New York for ya.’ ‘Aren’t we in San Francisco?’ ‘Hell if I know, Bill. The art looks the same, and they never draw the weather.'” –Voshkod

Thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here.

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GUYS YOU GUYS I THINK SPRING IS FINALLY HERE MAYBE? And so let’s enjoy this springy comment of the week!

“Bluegill’s UPS uniform symbolically launches itself from his body as he ascends to become part of the rich elite.” –revenge4Aldo

And the runners up — very funny!

“I feel a bit sorry for Billy, carefully arranging his equipment around him, the ball at his feet, and only then glancing out the window directly ahead to check the weather. ‘No time to raise my head slightly! I gotta hang that glove on the end of my bat just so!'” –Adam

“Sounds like Billy has finally realized how cruelly misshapen his cranium is.” –Doctor Handsome

“These aren’t our jumbles! Because the jumbles aren’t made here at the paper, but somewhere else and sent here by a syndicate! We just pretend to make them because it makes us feel big!” –Horace Boom

“The one way this wouldn’t be a completely silly and time-wasting would be if these two actually worked for the Kingpin and the milk contained some kind of liquid form of the mind-control gas. Of course, Spidey wouldn’t actually drink it then because his spider sense would HAHAHAHA, no. I swear to you that I literally could not keep even a straight face in real life as I typed that.” –Ratiocinator

“‘So, you want me to drink this day-old rancid milk in order to provide the parenting skills you so desperately lack?’ [pause] ‘Why not?'” –Little Guy

“While Spider-Man promotes healthy drinks like milk and Apartment 3-G reinforces the importance of having a good lunch, Dick Tracy shows us how uncool cigarettes are. See kids? Start smoking and soon you’ll find yourself in a bowler cap and a ridiculous green suit solving newspaper riddles for a living.” –pugfuggly

“Dennis is simply getting ready for his role in the new world economy — collecting junk and dismantling it for the small amounts of valuable scrap metals to be harvested. It’s an excellent career path, with early retirement available through the disabling and/or fatal heavy-metal poisoning generally contracted by the age of 26.” –Derelict

“Whose … whose hand is that, Rusty?’ ‘It was yours, Bluegill. I’ve claimed it. Now it’s mine.’ Slowly Bluegill looked down at his left arm. Nothing protruded from his sleeve. His screams echoed across the lake as Mark and Rusty drove off into the deepening night.” –Voshkod

“That’s not a laptop. Marty Moon has taped a mirror in the lid of a Whitman’s Sampler so he can shame himself as he binges on nougat and cremes between innings.” –Ed Dravecky

“I don’t think there’s a joke in Heathcliff at all. I think it has just embraced out-and-out insanity, and future installments will feature nothing but illustrations of bizarre, nonsensical scenes (Heathcliff drives a motorcycle inside an office building, Grandpa builds a model of the Grand Canyon out of discarded tires) with absolutely no explanation given, and the caption will be the punchline from some unrelated joke that was never set up. I for one welcome this change.” –Mikey

“I’m vaguely disgusted by the fact that Marvin tucks his shirts into his diapers.” –DrGnu

“I’ve got Spider-Man’s straw, Kingpin! I’m also handling it with my bare hands and holding it right in front of my mouth while I speak to you! It’s gonna be the most perfect, untainted DNA sample you’ve ever seen, boss!” –Chareth Cutestory

“A corduroy couch topped with a pillow darker than the blackest night, purple cameo curtains and a small picture frame containing a stock image of a panda? Looks like Marvin’s parents subscribe to the ever popular ‘who fucking cares’ philosophy when it comes to life.” –Tophat

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