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While we in the northeast prepare for further heatpocalypse, I offer you your comment of the week.

“I don’t know … maybe you’re process servers! Or maybe you’re here to steal my limited-edition Droopy Dawg bookend.” –Esther Blodgett

And the runners up! Very funny!

“I just want to know who Smokey and his lover are burying. Only YOU can prevent exposure of your dirty little secrets.” –LUJBEM FEJF

“So which will come first: Nina’s baby or Luann’s first orgasm? Yep, I went there and now you can’t unthink it. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” –Apeman

“What travel brochure just shows a random road? ‘Have a nice relaxing stay on Highway 42!'” –Dartpaw86

“Why do I get the feeling that this isn’t the first time Tommie has thought, ‘There is another way, but I’m totally inexperienced’? It wouldn’t surprised me if she has it stitched into a sampler.” –Pozzo

“Come on, Dawn, don’t you realize that Italian cuisine is famous primarily for its fresh vegetables? It’s not as if you can find fresh vegetables back home in California.” –Samuel PG

“Look, Tommie. You’re never going to learn if you don’t try. What’s the worst that can happen: your client and her baby dead on the floor of a Manhattan apartment with a major trauma center only a few blocks away, that’s all. So you have to make some mistakes, but that’s how you get better. I think it was Thomas Edison who said, ‘Yes, I invented the medical X-Ray machine. But no one talks about the fact that I poisoned dozens, including my loyal assistant to get there.’ So I say go for it!” –geekwhisperer

“The United States flag has 5 rows of 6 stars and 4 rows of 5 stars (5×6+4×5=50). The flag does NOT have 10 rows of 5 stars, except in the police state that Dick Tracy pledges allegiance to.” –Mysterion

“I forgive you for acting like a jealous nincompoop. I still need time to come to terms with you being such an indolent limpdick moocher, though.” –Doctor Handsome

“I hope Giorgio turns out to be Mary Worth in an elaborate latex mask.” –Drew Funk

“I’d always thought that ‘bighorn’ were a type of peaceful and cute mountain dwelling sheep. In fact their appearance in the Lost Forest is apparently a semi-annual terror-fest. ‘I wish Mark was here … We could go take pictures of the bighorn as they come down the mountain to feed … on brains and human flesh'” –Inkler

I must thanks to all who put some cash into my tip jar! And we must give thanks to our advertisers:

• The Hole Behind Midnight: Royden Poole is having a very bad day. “… fast, profane, full of joy, deeply intelligent, and just a lot of damn fun to read.” –Colin McComb, author of OATHBREAKER. “… like the fevered brainchild of Warren Ellis and Kenneth Hite. Smart, dark fun.” ––Matt Forbeck, AMORTALS and VEGAS KNIGHTS.

To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here.

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EVERYBODY! I helped contribute to a project coordinated by the amazing Ryan Estrada that I think you will be interested in! A bunch of comics heavyweights and I wrote dialogue that fit into awesome comics illustrated by Korean artist Nam Dong Yoon. Do any of us speak Korean? No! Were we provided with a translation of the original dialogue? No! Is the result hilarious and insane? YES!

It’s being offered as a part of The Whole Story, a pay-as-you-wish comics experiment. You’ll get Fusion Future, the collection I contributed to, at the $10 level, but there’s lots of other awesome stuff available, so check it out!

Also, since it is the beginning of the month, it is my day to remind you that, if you enjoy using and/or following jokesters on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, or Google+, why, you can follow me on any of those services, merely by clicking the appropriate links previously in this sentence! I post mostly the same things to all of these sites (links to updates to this blog, links to things I write elsewhere, announcements about projects, links to things I think are funny, dumb jokes) so probably just pick the one you like best. Or pick none at all! The choice is yours.

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Good readers! A request for you: I am thinking of doing a comedy thingie that will involve making fun of awful PowerPoint presentations, not unlike the way I make fun of comic strips. But for this to work, I need PowerPoint presentations! Do you have any that are terrible or hilarious or otherwise mockworthy that I can use? Please send ’em along if so, e-mailing them to bio at jfruh dot com! I promise to anonymize them to spare you and your employer embarrassment.

And now, your comment of the week!

“I was going to call my car ‘White Lightning’, but the more I thought about it, it’s a Subaru Forester, and I’m a grown man, so how about you just get in the car already?” –TC

And your runners up! Very amusing!

“Gravity. It isn’t just for poor people anymore.” –Poteet

“Have you ever heard Mark Trail cry to the blue corn moon? Or asked the sleeping grizzly if he can help? Can you shout with all the subtlety of a man pursued? Can you paint with all the colors of the wind?” –Nate

“Good God, that final panel is chilling. Mary staring serenely at the reader, basically saying that not even the fourth wall will protect us from an untimely meddle. It’s like the octogenarian version of The Ring.” –tb4000

“Now if I could just remember how to aim a bear.” –Honey Badger, Does not give a shit

“My greatest comic wish is that at the climax of this storyline, the A3G artists decide to break their ‘nothing drawn below the waist’ rule in the most spectacular way possible: by giving us the most graphic depiction of childbirth ever seen on the comics page.” –pugfuggly

“What I love about Mark Trail is that unlike following some kind of plot, Elrod just wanders off on a journey that may or may not have anything to do with what was going on the day before and can be entirely unhinged from reality. You can totally imagine explaining any Mark Trail plot as if you were relating a weird dream to your spouse while shaving: ‘Yeah, so anyway I dreamed that Gene Johnson, you know the guy from accounting? Yeah, him. Anyway, he was convicted of murder. Weird, right? But it turns out he didn’t shoot him, his gun was borrowed to shoot the guy, but that doesn’t make any sense, so I went to the place to look for clues and there was this gum wrapper and I took it, and then I went to talk to the guy who I thought shot him and he chased me in his plane and then he and this purple woman who looks like that crazy lady who yelled at you in the dry cleaner that one time were chasing me around this island trying to shoot me, but suddenly there was this cave with this grizzly bear in it … Anyway, I don’t care what Dr. Ressler says, I am so not taking Ambien anymore.'” –geekwhisperer

“I think Dagwood is just trying to speak what he thinks is hipster jive. So, it is best to not interpret what he is saying as being literal. He is talking in what may best described as wink-winkese. As for what he is really asking for … I think Dagwood is back on the smack.” –tallyHO

“It’s official! Google won, we can all stop using Lycos now for our web searches.” –Santa Royale With Cheese

“Mary’s feeling the weight of her years as she feeds on the sadness of Wilbur’s patrons, but not to worry, she’s lopped off a few years with a youthful lower lip piercing of blasted ebon stone! Ah, the mid-life crises of the immortal and unkillable.” –Black Drazon

“Today’s Wizard of Id … it feels like there should be more, doesn’t it? Like there should be a second panel that’s just a close up of the knight’s face so you can see flames reflected in his helmet as he stoically says ‘COMMENCE THE CULLING.’ Maybe that’s just me? I’ve always thought the creative team behind the Wizard of Id gleefully write and then forlornly crumple up a vast number of Black Death comics each year while muttering ‘someday, someday.'” –Tophat

“Even if that guy doesn’t work there, he should at least tell Skeezix that the device he’s gesturing towards is not a DVD player, but his penis.” –Irrischano

I must thanks to all who put some cash into my tip jar! And we must give thanks to our advertisers:

• The Hole Behind Midnight: Royden Poole is having a very bad day. “… fast, profane, full of joy, deeply intelligent, and just a lot of damn fun to read.” –Colin McComb, author of OATHBREAKER. “… like the fevered brainchild of Warren Ellis and Kenneth Hite. Smart, dark fun.” ––Matt Forbeck, AMORTALS and VEGAS KNIGHTS.
• Afraid to Scream, Afraid to Run: Afraid to Die! Fans of #1 New York Times bestselling author Lisa Jackson’s blockbuster, Born to Die, will be clamoring for the return of Detectives Selena Alvares and Regan Pescoli in this exciting thriller!

To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here.