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Click the banner to contribute and receive a Commemorative Comics Curmudgeon Bible Bird Band! Details here.

Twice a year I host a fundraiser to thank Josh for the considerable time, effort, and talent he puts into The Comics Curmudgeon. This time, every contributor will receive a one-of-a-kind Mark Trail-themed Comics Curmudgeon Commemorative Bible Bird Band in appreciation of your generosity. Behold:

These are gold-anodized aluminum butt-end bird bands (three are shown), 1/2″ inside by 3/8″ tall — appropriate for pheasants, ducks, and young (4 – 10 weeks) geese. Each is stamped “Genesis 1:20”, “Lost Forest”, and “CC11-nnn”, where “nnn” is a unique serial number starting at 001. The referenced verse is “And God said, let the waters bring forth abundantly the moving creature that hath life, and fowl that may fly above the earth in the open firmament of heaven” (KJV) — the very same verse worn by Mark’s Rescue Goose and Mountie McQueen’s wall.

Made by America’s premier manufacturer of game bird, poultry, and livestock tags, these fine bands have been wet-tumbled to a satin sheen, and are ready to ship — First Class, of course — to Comics Curmudgeon contributors of any amount. Your one-of-a-kind Bible Bird Band will arrive packed with a length of linen or leather cord and a pinch of feathers, ready for you to transform into a necklace, bracelet, talisman, or fetish object — the possibilities are endless! Bands will be mailed in numeric order, so act now for those coveted low numbers. Don’t just read about Mark’s Canadian Bible Bird Band adventure — live it!

To contribute by credit card or PayPal, click the banner at the top of the page and follow the instructions on the secure PayPal site. To contribute by check or money order, email uncle.lumpy@comcast.net and I’ll reply with an address. One band per contributor: full details here, along with an index to the 60 or so banners in rotation at the top of the page.

But wait — there’s more! When your personal Bible Bird Band is released from the Comics Curmudgeon‘s West or East Coast wildlife sanctuary, a goose icon will appear at an appropriate pond, park, lake, landfill, or fast-food joint in your ZIP or Postal Code (not at your address) on the interactive GOOSETRAX®* map, courtesy of Google Maps and young codemaster Spiff Lumpy. Personalize your goose by adding a comment in the PayPal “Enter your screen name …” field, or along with your mailed contribution. Full details, Privacy Policy, and opt-out instructions here. GOOSETRAX will go live Wednesday, but check out this preview:

Finally, in honor of the Mark Trail-themed fundraiser, this week features “Mark Trail’s Greatest Hits” — iconic fistic feats of Mark Trail pugilism, stretching back to the misty origins of The Comics Curmudgeon. Here goes:

Mark Trail’s Greatest Hits – a Fall Fundraiser special, part 1

Mark Trail — 9/25/04, 10/13/04, 12/9-10/05

MEOW BOW-WOW POW — OW!

— Uncle Lumpy

* GOOSETRAX is not an actual Registered Trademark.

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Hey everybody! I am about to depart for a week off. But have no fear! Your favorite Uncle Lumpy will be stopping by to take care you in my absence, and I’ll be returned to your computer screens next weekend. But, I leave you with … this week’s COMMENT OF THE WEEK!

“Didn’t Margo use to be wedding planner before she was almost-married into being in charge of (owning?) a gallery? Why isn’t she in charge of this certain catastrophe? For god’s sake, Lu Ann, if something has to blow up in someone’s face, you got an explosions expert right there.” –Lord-z

And the runners up! Very hilarious!

“I’m a fan of the blue-collar uniform worn by the agent/secretary. It’s like he’s working at Big Earl’s Tires and Soccer.” –Chris

“And thus the sub-genre of socially aware furry redneck porn is born.” –A.E.F

“Take a lesson from me, kids! I can’t escape the cops, just like you can’t overcome your terminal illness. You can spend your few remaining hours watching TV, which is what I’ll be doing in jail. So long, you’ve been a great audience!” –ArchieNemesis

“What’s with the sky’s black rounded edges in Hi and Lois? Is this all taking place in Thirsty’s alcohol-induced masturbatory dream bubble? I guess we’ll find out for sure if his wife and Lois start making out while being sprayed down in booze.” –sporknpork

“Hmm, all the caveman characters are already long-haired and unshaven, so how to communicate visually that this one’s a filthy stinking doper? Of course! We’ll slap a Volkswagen hood ornament on his chest, and give him some of those ‘sunned-glasses’ the kids are always wearing! Nailed it.” –Doctor Handsome

“You know, all I really want out of this storyline is one simple week of Mary Worth versus the Soccer Hooligans. Is that so much to ask?” –commodorejohn

“The phrase ‘medically possible’ rings false when coming from Li’l Billy. It’s the kind of thing that I might have said when I was seven or eight, just to show that I could. Am I saying that I was smarter as a kid that Billy is? Yes, I am saying that.” –Artist formerly known as Ben

“I dunno, guys. It looks like ‘New York Blasés’ to me. This is Mary Worth, after all.” –Effluvius Erratus

Thanks to all who put some cash into my tip jar! And we must give thanks to our advertisers:

• Slylock Fox comes to your iPhone: Cartoonist Bob Weber Jr., creator of Slylock Fox and Comics for Kids now offers his spot-the-difference game to you on the iPhone and iPad. Bob has selected 50 spot-the-difference panels for this initial app release. There is also a free “lite” version.

To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here.

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Guys, it’s come to my attention that some of you are unconvinced that a professional soccer player would have so many groupies that he’d need his manager to screen them. Faithful reader Gal Friday points out that there’s an entire Website dedicated to hot soccer-playin’ dudes, the name of which is suspiciously similar to Kicking It. Also, if Bobby rejects Gina, maybe he she could purchase the affections of a member of Chivas USA.

Also, several faithful readers drew my attention to this story about the most depressing comic strips. Funky Winkerbean isn’t even on the list!

Anyway, now it’s time for your comment of the week:

“The funny poo says: ‘Thank you … I’ll be here all week. No, really. Ziggy’s toilet is broken.'” –Mark B

And your runners up! Very funny!

“‘Do you like it, Lu Ann?’ ‘Do I like what?’ These words will be repeated on their honeymoon.” –Pozzo

“Meanwhile, in Apartment 3G, we learn the only thing whiter and blander than Paul and Lu Ann are the houses they live in.” –bbofun

“I find it hard to believe that Tommie and Lu Ann count for just as many ‘G’ as Mighty Margo does. I’d say Margo is about 2.5 G all by herself, leaving Tommie with (say) 0.3 G and Lu Ann with 0.2 G, so if Lu Ann moves out they will only have to move slightly to one side into Apartment 2.8-G.” –Shrug

“I’m not buying Rex’s incredulous unfamiliarity with the notion of cutting, partly because he’s a trained medical professional but mainly because I refuse to believe he watches any fewer Lifetime movies than I do.” –Violet

“Apparently in high school football it’s totally legal to karate chop an opposing team player’s knee tendons with your … wait, is that his left or his right hand? Wtf?” –sporknpork

“What if Marty Moon is a disgruntled call center helpline operator? ‘Paris keeps around left end … he’s in!’ ‘Uhm, can you tell me why my computer doesn’t boot up?'” –Dood

“Ha ha! God pisses on your Lisa Worship. ‘What part of “You shall have no other gods besides me” do you not understand?'” –Little Guy

“Seriously, pluggers are held together with carpenter’s glue, prescription meds, spit, and misplaced down-homey smugness.” –Nervous Newbie

“I’m wondering why Carla looks so sad in the last panel. Ha Ha, just kidding! How else would she be allowed to look? Sad and smug are the only authorized emotions in this strip, and Les has claimed the smug quota for the next 175 years.” –A New Day

“The real joke here is the suggestion that Marvin will ever, ever be potty-trained. The moment he started eliminating waste discreetly and uneventfully, the strip would go from reprehensibly lazy to completely unsustainable.” –Mollie

“FLDS compound! Wait till she meets his other wives. Oh yeah, the reunion. She probably has.” –Snowshoecat

“KickingIt Magazine sounds uncomfortably like a deathstyle guide for would-be suicides.” — T Campbell

“The ‘hotel chocolates’ that Mr. Fulton gave Ditto were actually miniature bars of soap. It was worth a shot.” –Lorne

“I believe Ditto is just out casing a few houses, using a pretext only his senile neighbors would believe. ‘Gee, Mr. Wavering, you say it isn’t halloween? That’s weird … Hey, that’s a nice coin set. Are those real silver dollars?'” –pugfuggly

Thanks to all who put some cash into my tip jar! And we must give thanks to our advertisers:

• Slylock Fox comes to your iPhone: Cartoonist Bob Weber Jr., creator of Slylock Fox and Comics for Kids now offers his spot-the-difference game to you on the iPhone and iPad. Bob has selected 50 spot-the-difference panels for this initial app release. There is also a free “lite” version.

To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here.