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As muggy July settles in, enjoy this fine comment of the week:

“This is the first time the Crock lettering was big enough for me to realize they’ve gone to a font instead of hand lettering. Where are the standards?! We’re definitely devoting an entire session to this switch at Crock-Con this year!” –Edgy DC

And the runners-up! Hilariousness!

“That rabbit doesn’t strike me as stoned. More like depressed, probably because this is his first glimpse of the nightmarish police state that makes up the Slylock Fox universe. While his friends are cowering in fear at their red, furry judge and jury, Rabbit-Boy has taken up quiet resignation at his helplessness against the vulpine and rodent based justice system.” –KevinK

I love Slylock’s absolute lack of interest in this case. ‘Yeah yeah, sorry about your, you know, broken thingy. It was probably Slick Smitty, or Count What’s-His-Face, or — HEY MAX IT’S MY TURN TO BE ISSAC NEWTON.'” –Irrischano

Mary Worth: “Okay, I’m becoming convinced that the artist uses urethane and silicon Japanese robots first as models and then, making sure they are stiffly and unnaturally posed, goes to work. (And by ‘work’ I mean has sex with them.)” –Greg

“Ziggy applied for political asylum when Castro’s pro-pants party took over. ‘These cheeks must never be denied!’ cried Ziggy as he rowed a boat fashioned from his giant nose towards freedom.” –Dennis the Two and a Half Menace

“At least Loweezy prepared for the hangover by going to bed with an icepack on her head. That *is* what that is, isn’t it? Because otherwise she’s wearing a nightcap over a shawl, and that’s just fucked.” –Pozzo

“Ha ha, there goes my cell phone again! Phones totally go, ‘Beep beep beep’ in 2011! That is in no way a medical device informing me that my colostomy bag has reached its capacity! So, how about that rapscallion Archie Andrews, huh?” –Doctor Handsome

“If don’t get any answers, Dr. Corey’s gonna karate chop a bitch! I’ll show them for coming to a hospital for healing!” –Black Drazon

“I like how, in a joke about editorial cartoons, the Crock artist went ahead and just wrote the word ‘outpost’ on the outpost. Now he only needs to write ‘taxes’ on one rampaging horde and ‘runaway spending’ on the other, and he’s home free.” –Dan

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Let us pause momentarily before we go all COTW to be sad about yet another newspaper comics cull, this time at the Denver Post. The Westword blog has a good wrapup, and Comics Riffs has the complete list. It is saddening but not surprising that many of the ones being pulled are new or at least new-ish (Frazz, Heart of the City, The Knight Life, Rhymes with Orange) and the ones that stayed are mostly legacy strips being drawn by the sons and grandsons of the creators (do I even need to list them here?) which at least set up this joke. If you’re in the Denver area, do contact the Post, politely, and let them know what you think!

And now, your comment of the week!

“Every 40 years, the hideous ritual begins again. The new Ziggy and all the animals eat the old Ziggy in a grotesque feast. The new Ziggy thinks he’s got the upper hand, but he doesn’t realize he’s the one suffering the cruel fate: 40 years of being Ziggy. At least the old Ziggy gets to die.” –Rantingdude

And your runners up! Very funny!

“As painful as I’m sure it must be, being kicked in the groin might teach the sheriff a thing or two, specifically that hats and rifles will go flying if they are not secured by straps.” –Charterstoned

“The reason why John Thrasher is living like a hermit up in the back woods now becomes clear: he was tired of being mocked for his dainty little ankles.” –Trilobite

“My dream for the current Spider-Man storyline is that ‘Big Boss’ is actually Spider-Man, who has grown tired of this whole ‘great responsibility’ gig, and just wants a few million dollars to help relocate him and his wife to Hollywood, so that he can save his troubled marriage by getting her a job on TV, so he can bear to look at her.” –Ian C.

“Framing Kenny Loggins for livestock theft? Look out, Sheriff. You just entered the Danger Zone!!!” –Doctor Handsome

“Mountain Man Moccasins, from J Peterman: You walk the high country alone, in retreat from you boot clad past. Your steps caress the ground, leaving no traces and taking orders only from your heart. Supple, oil-tanned, full-grain leather envelops your feet so your soles commune with the spirit of the earth, but if things get trying, as you knew they would, a swift kick to the nads of the establishment can deliver the message: ‘I wish to walk this land in peace, but these feet are still registered weapons.’ Men’s whole and half sizes: 8 through 13.” –Ned Ryerson

“While I’m thankful Ziggy isn’t going to make us suffer through a grating parade of self-congratulation à la Blondie’s 75th anniversary, I wouldn’t mind a crossover where the other depressing loser comic strip characters attend Ziggy’s party only to find themselves more miserable than they could ever think to imagine. Basically, I want to see Ziggy, the Lockhorns, and a few pluggers, all in the same panel, wearing party hats and forlorn expressions.” –Irischano

“I love the combination of smug and wild-eyed terror in the final panel. Ditto just seems so pleased with himself that he got his dad to share the intimate details of his love life. Lois is probably just tweaked, and Ditto sounds like a million cockroaches.” –MyUsernamesMud

“Are we missing the third panel where the kid slips on the immaculately polished floor of the stadium-sized kitchen and breaks his coccyx? Someone please tell me we’re missing that panel.” –Greg

“So let’s have that talk I’ve always wanted to have. You know how your body’s changing, Lu Ann?” –Dood

“Let me show you a couple dresses that I picked out, just in case I ever had a daughter of my own. Oh, and by the way, the doors and windows are sealed shut, so escape is futile.” –Scott Bot

“I missed the middle panel, in which Mary punched Liza in the neck.” –Squeak

“Of course, you’ll have to gestate in my uterus, LuAnn, but … that’s how it’s done.” –Mibbitmaker

Thanks to all who put some cash into my tip jar! And this is where we’d thank our advertisers — if we had any this week. To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here.

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As we head into lazy summer, do enjoy this comment of the week, won’t you?

“Anyone else feel bad for Lu Ann here? Look at that innocent smile in the second panel. She … actually thinks this person is psychic. This person could tell her she’s a mongoose and she’d believe it. I guess Margo and Tommie are being economical, since a real psychic would probably cost a bit more than some crazy woman in the middle of the woods somewhere, and because giving Lu Ann a mind reading would be like reading War and Peace, except all of the words have been replaced with adorable puppy pictures.” –Tophat

And the runners up, as well!

“Isn’t Archie a little old to still believe in the Yearbook Fairy?” –Doctor Handsome

“I love how Tommie feels compelled to demonstrate to Lu Ann how to ring a doorbell, even though she’ll probably speak into it or try to eat it anyway.” –Walker of Dog

“I’ve always tried to avoid using public restrooms, but now I’ll be even more reluctant to use them since I’ve learned Meddlin’ Mary lurks there. Now I’ll be terrified that she’ll suddenly pop her head over the stall door and say, ‘Sounds like you could use some more fiber in your diet, dearie.'” –Perky Bird

“Mary’s contemplative look in the second panel is telling. She’s thinking, ‘Do I go with the salmon-squares-for-lunch private meddle or the pool-party public humiliation meddle that possibly ends in tears and suicide? Or we can stay right here and start with a private meddle that becomes public when others walk in. But then she’ll only be shamed in front of women. Men need to see this. Damn it, Mary, stop overthinking it. Just go with it. Like you did in the old days.'” –Johnny Knuckles

“I like how Lu Ann appears to be visibly star-struck in the second panel, even grasping her chest (or she’s having a heart attack, either one is good).” –Alan’s Addiction

“I like the way Mary got herself refreshments, but nothing for Liza. ‘Hi, I’ll have a black coffee. Her? No, she’s just here to cry, thanks.'” –Ellie

“Poor Daddy. When he was little, he had to watch his favorite TV shows when they were actually on. Um, just like we’re doing now. No, I’m sorry, this material is just not acceptable, even for us.” –Artist formerly known as Ben

“So just where are Jughaid’s parents anyway? He seems to be an orphan, unless ‘Aunt Loweezy’ and ‘Uncle Snuffy’ are just sly Hootin’ Hollar conventions winking at the fact that his parents are siblings.” –cheech wizard

Spider-Man: “Hahahahaha! I enjoyed your little joke. Now seriously, who’s actually a threat to your operations? Come on, I’m a busy hooded figure.” –Esther Blodgett

“Beyond Ms. Worth’s worthless (see what I did there?) pontificating, I’m more upset by the laughable perspectives going on with the coffee cups on the table. Mary’s is ROUND while Liza’s is ELLIPSOID. Artists could get away with this in Giotto’s time, but … I don’t know how to finish that sentence.” –Greg

“The true solution to the puzzle is FIRE U-BRAT. Obviously they are planting a ton of trees on a mountainside sloping down towards the city, and then setting a fire, using the slope to have the fire spread quickly and burn the city down with little warning to the people. Their picnic baskets will be full of roasted humans.” –John

“Hmm, let’s see: We have two partially-clothed bears engaged in a post-shrub planting conversation. I’d say the solution to this Jumble is: GROW OPIUM.” –Red Greenback

“The dippiness of the self-immolation in Funky Winkerbean is encouraging me to eat all the carbohydrates in my house.” –Katy

Thanks to all who put some cash into my tip jar! And we must give thanks to our advertisers:

• The Monster Doodle Book: This book is illustrated by you! The monsters in this book are waiting for you to finish drawing them. They can be scary, disgusting, cute, or weird. It’s up to you!

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