Archive: metaposts

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Quickly! Sorry so quick! Your top comment

“I salute Apartment 3-G for spicing things up by bringing Rasputin back as a guest-character. I’m not sure if I’m more frightened by original, ultra-hair Rasputin, or the new, albino Rasputin, but I’m sure that wacky hijinks will ensue. If nothing else, he’ll give Margo a chance to live out her dream of being able to shoot, poison, stab, and drown the same man on different occasions.” –Alan’s Addiction

And your runners up!

“Maybe Tommie is the world’s first Peter Tork impersonator.” –Karmyn

“I’m hoping the raccoon will put up a fight before being taken away, because it might distract everyone else while the snake eats Max Mouse.” –nescio

It’s my son John … he appears to be a some kind of thing that came out of my wife. Who I have come to understand is a woman that I live with. I just don’t understand this situation at all, Mark. Can you help?” –Roktober

“‘No, but I remember reading about his distinguished military record.’ Where? Why? Why would he be reading about this guy’s distinguished military record? Does he have a subscription to Random-ass Distinguished Military Records Weekly? ‘Hey!’ he thought. ‘That guy’s from around here! I wonder if I ever punched out anyone we both know?'” –Geek Redux

“You’ve got to wonder when someone in the Wambesi tribe will start complaining about the Ghost Who Only Drops In Whenever He Wants Us To Keep An Eye On One of His Enemies, And Does He Offer to Pay For Feeding These Goons? No He Does Not.” –J.D. Rhoades

“Pluggers apparently have also failed to learn about advanced technology like ‘baskets.'” –Faoladh

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As the seasons change, the comments of the week continue. Here’s this week’s top spot!

“She nursed me, a complete stranger, back to health with no thought to the horrors that might come to her and her child from the same evil thugs who murdered her husband. And all you can think to ask is if she was PRETTY??? Actually, she looked exactly like you if you wore a halter top and a wig. So, no, I wouldn’t describe her as ‘pretty.’ I hope she gets back with her relatives or something. Girls are icky.” –Mustang

And the runners up — very funny!

“Looks to me like Cherry and Rusty have gotten over Mark’s disappearance and presumed death — for example, they’ve already scribbled over all the portraits of him in their house, which is stage 15 on the Kubler-Ross scale, I think.” –Oavis

“To be fair, is there any emotion Rusty expresses without ‘face twisting’?” –SecretMargo

“It’s a good thing that Mark Trail took the time to shave before he called his family to tell them he’s OK. First things first.” –Mark B

“Funnily enough, this is just how Rusty always answers the phone, what with the shouting and demanding questions and creepy mind rays oozing out of his eyes, down the phone lines, and into the caller’s skull to dig out their thoughts and memories, one by one, like ice cream being gouged with a scoop.” –Jim North

On the proposal that this gown in Luann might be a salwar kameez: “I mean, seriously, a salwar kameez is like *the* *best* *thing* *to* *wear* *ever.* It would take a kind of obsessed person with unhealthy goals and limitless free time to screw one up. Which, Gunther.” –Katy

Hopefully she got back with her relatives! She did save my life, so the very least I can do is ponder vaguely about her fate with idle good intentions.” –Lorne

“I’m playing count the mouths on Cherry in the first panel and keep losing.” –Tophat

“It’s supposed to be update on the line, ‘that and a nickel will get you a cup of coffee,’ which was coined when coffee could be obtained for 5 cents a cup. All of which means, ‘talk is worthless.’ Since he has willfully moved back to the economically and emotionally depressed center of Batiukland, the phrase would have been rendered better as ‘that and a buck will get you a slice of crappy pizza that tastes like weeping.'” –gleeb

“Morbius is ‘urban’ in the sense that he wears terrible spandex from the 1970s.” –Naked Bunny With A Whip

“It looks like Larry Lieber attended the ‘Joe Giella Master Class on Human Gestures and How To Render Them.’ Joe’s secret? Hands! Humans, like, do things with their hands when they talk to each other! ‘What do I pay you for? Hands!’ ‘Actually you don’t! Hands!’ ‘Get me a shot of that urban Dracula tonight! HANDS!'” –Krazy Kat

  • Parents Behaving Badly: The dads who coach like Patton! The moms who drink like fish! And the kids caught in the middle. If your child has participated in youth sports, you’ll relate to Parents Behaving Badly. Scott Gummer’s new novel gives the grown-ups who seek vicarious glory the send-up they so richly deserve. For video and more, click here!

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Hey all, it’s time for your top comment!

On who takes the FW flashback pictures: “I dunno, the yearbook committee? ‘Quick, beatdown of Les at 4 today, grab the camera. We can put the photos in a scrapbooky collage thing between the freshman and sophomore pages. I have some blank speech bubble stickers to put on them. Write something about Les pissing himself.’ At least that’s how I would’ve run Westview High’s yearbook committee.” –MaryAnnTheRest

And your very funny runners up!

“Maybe this mustache will make Dawn love me again.” –Chyron HR

Hamburger guy should definitely ask the waitress about pie.” –Dood

“For someone as lazy as Spider-Man is, he sure is good at rejecting the most obvious solution.” –TheDiva

“Margo laughs as she imagines Tommie’s destiny: a hungover Dan Diller, after a night of inebriated wild monkey sex with aunt Iris, vomiting on Tommie over breakfast.” –Hibbleton

COME ON FONT, BOLD! BOLD! BOLD!” –Red Greenback

“Really, Mark Trail is still wearing that band aid, how long is he going to milk this whole getting shot in the head thing.” –Rob

“Remember, if you’re not going, ‘wait, what?’ you’re not reading the real Dick Tracy.” –Chip Whittle

“Friday’s strip ends in Liza’s apartment, which is revealed to be a floor-to-ceiling shrine to Dr. Drew Cory. In the last panel, Liza, in her wedding dress, points her gun at Drew and says, ‘For you and me .. the moment is NOW.'” –frippy

“Ever the cheapskate, Dr. Drew is now taking to winning women’s hearts with romantic lunches sitting on the mat of a boxing ring. You go, Dr. Drew. I’m in your corner.” –Edgy DC

“Those who believe that Abbey will tell Soph that she should hide her intelligence are wrong, as are those who think Abbey will tell Soph to be proud of her intelligence. Nor will Abbey recommend that Soph stop competing. Instead, this story line will play out the same as all the others: completely forgotten as we suddenly switch to another plot.” –Frank Lee Meidere

“Like so many times with soap opera strips, I find myself drawn to the contents of some characters’ glass. Is the young lady in Mary Worth drinking milk? Opaque water? Opaque vodka? I’m hoping toward the latter, as it’s the only thing that would take my mind off of the cafeteria paint job, which seem to have been pre-coloured to hide my vomit the moment it hits the walls.” –Black Drazon

“Is it wrong that I hope the next three days are Les being beaten to a pulp? That’s for being so smug all the time in the future!” –S. Stout

Mary Worth is on its way to becoming the pointiest comic on the block, with characters over the last week or so pointing more and more frequently to make pointy points. I think there could still be more, though. Take today’s strip, it could have gone like this: Liza: (pointing at Drew) ‘I like your attitude! You have an attractive appreciation for life.’ Drew: (pointing at self) ‘I can’t help being thankful for my life and all that’s in it!’ Liza: (Pointing to Drew’s smiling mouth) ‘I’m attracted to that happiness … (pointing to self) and I’d like to add to it.’ Drew: (pointing towards crotch) ‘There’s a lot to be grateful for!'” –pugfuggly

“Les, like the wily garden toad, has a bladder a quarter the size of his torso. It’s the only defense he has: copious nervous urination.” –Baka Gaijin

“If Mark Trail were Funky Winkerbean, the big arrow labeled ‘TERMINAL’ would be foreshadowing.” –David Willis

“Is there anything Luann’s Mrs. Horner can’t do? Other than avoid being in this strip, that is.” –True Fable

Mary Worth is far too subtle for me — does this woman like the doctor or not?” –Gump Worsley

“Just a moment, June, my Rex-Sense is tingling. It warns me when people expect empathy from me.” –Jesse R

“What the hell club would name Momma ‘Mother of the Year?’ The Khmer Rouge?” –Doctor Handsome

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