“Does today’s Gil Thorp seem like the setup to a horror movie to anyone else? Like, Jamaar will die and then come back on prom night covered in tape?” –SamECircle
“‘It’s 52-19, in favor of the Skyhawks, as the Mudlarks continue to struggle with the loss of their star player. Jamaar, what do you think about this development?’ ‘Mr. Moon, if I answer your questions, will you let me down?’ ‘No way, kid, you’re my -hic- best interview in years! Now what do you think about your shots in the playdowns?'” –Black Drazon
“‘I’m more concerned about our guests,’ Adrian says, looking at two people who very clearly have no idea who she is, and wishes she’d stop staring at them.” –Patrick
“In nursing homes around America, today’s Spider-Man was pronounced the pinnacle of comic strip entertainment for the elderly. It will be tough for future competitors in the newspaper comic market to match the sheer joy contained in a strip that contained both a young man being thrashed by a cane and a matron whose relatives actually listen to her.” –NoahSnark
“I like how Dr. Jeff is all, ‘Fuck alcoholics! They have no place at weddings! Seriously, fuck you if you can’t hold your liquor.'” –Gold-Digging Nanny
“Phantom: ‘For those of you who came in late, the Phantom is still gay gay gay!'” –Jack Parsons
“Hi, Les. It’s me, Lisa, calling from beyond the grave to tell you to break down and get a cell phone already.” –Garnet
“I think it’s Lisa Loeb. She wants her glasses back.” –Mr. Goboto
“What’s with those action lines? Did they kiss or just suddenly smack their heads together violently like two dueling giraffes?” –Caroline
“It goes without saying that Mary’s cheerleading is far more annoying than Jill’s ranting. Jill at least has discernible motives — she could be still very bitter from a hard breakup or (more likely in real life but not in this strip) inexplicably in love with Adrian. But Mary just cheerleads insanely at any aspect of heteronormativity, yet won’t marry her own boyfriend or put out and likes to have attractive young female friends … hmm … well, perhaps her motivations are also apparent. I can’t wait until the end of this story arc when everybody in the closet comes out of it. That’s going to happen, right?” –Les of the Jungle Patrol
“It was only a matter of time before Mary made the jump from annoying meddler to outright puppet master. In panel 1, you can see her throwing her voice to Scott from around the corner. In panel 2, she has her hand up Scott’s back controlling his every move. Next week she’ll make Scott recite his wedding vows while she drinks a glass of water.” –Thomas B.
“Maybe she’s just ecstatic to be going anywhere that’s across a river from Margo. Can Margo cross rivers? I’m not up on exactly what kind of evil spirit she is.” –commodorejohn
“People, relax. Mary is just practicing, as she’ll be popping out of a giant salmon square later tonight at Scott’s bachelor party.” –Mikey
“Mark used three contractions in the space of three panels! Can sex with Ben Smith be more than moments away?” –Mardou Fox
“How is telling someone they’re ‘good’, perhaps the most vague adjective ever uttered, at fishing exaggerating? Now, if Ben had said ‘Cherry tells me you have mastered even the most basic social skills’, Mark would have good reason to screw up his face, knock his bowl of soup off the table, and make odd mewling cries in the corner.” –Zork The Mighty
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