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Completing my Monday evening lightning round blogging, I give you your COMMENT OF THE WEEK!

“Lu Ann is trying to decide if kidnapping Margo’s fiancé, tying him up in the closet, and faking his death in Asia counts as ‘boyfriend stealing.’ Give her a moment.” –Black Drazon

And the almost-as-hilarious runners up!

“This can only end with Sassy trapped in a well.” –Dingo, the Essence of Purity and Virtue Incarnate™

“Glad to see that Herb and Jamaal made that vital leap from AOL to Hotmail, proving that they are always at least five years behind the most popular Internet program. Can’t wait until the 2015 version of the strip that tells us to visit the Herb and Jamaal Facebook page.” –Taquelli

“Come on, there is no way Lu Ann would be able to refrain from verbalizing her every thought, Spider-Man style.” –Steve S

“Wait, come back! You didn’t pay your bill!” –Calico

Re: Spider-Man: “The fact that the [comic book] is pretty good only serves to make newspaper Spider-Man worse. It’s a bit like if they made the New Testament into a newspaper strip, and it was Ziggy.” –Push Trot

“As a dog owner, I know that the best way to deal with a runaway dog is to stand in the doorway and try to reason with it.” –Iconoclast

“Luann’s mother clearly needs to be blitzed out of her mind to deal with her daughter in any way, shape, or form. This makes her the closest thing in the strip to an audience surrogate.” –Dragon of Life

“Why would anyone tell a young person, ‘Why do you feel the need to be romantic toward anyone?’ Maybe because I’m fueled by raging hormones, you lifeless, spirit-crushing robot. Her track goes somewhere: straight into the void where her soul should be.” –Joike

“Only in the world of Jack Elrod does one find a vet so dispassionate that he merely comments on a pup’s sure death as the collar-less stray runs off into Big City traffic. Mark’s next Sunday InfoStrip nugget: ‘Many veterinarians are avid taxidermists!'” –Bennui

“You’re a plugger if you think diabetes is a myth invented by lettuce farmers.” –mustang

“I wouldn’t be so sure that Bonnie has her shopping habit under control, considering that she just stopped to purchase a liter of blood.” –BigTed

“And I have good news about Ernie! He died in a car crash near the Aldo Memorial Crevasse while he was fleeing our loveless marriage! I can shop all I want, now!” –Snuggs

Big thanks to everyone who put cash in my tip jar! And here’s where we might be giving thanks to advertisers like you! To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here.

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You guys! As you may have heard, this past Saturday, for only the second time in recorded human history, I emerged from my hidey-hole to interact with readers at a scheduled event, in person! This glorious happening happened in our nation’s capital, and the organizational efforts were entirely on the part of faithful reader Bourbon Babe, unbuckled, with whom I actually got to drink bourbon! I had a great time, and was even gifted with a special purple lorikeet-themed t-shirt, from faithful reader Écureuil Écumant! (Mr. É-É also sported a genuine Dr. Jeff Corey-style green suit jacket for the occasion.) Other attendees included faithful readers Miss Othmar (and her son!), Mooncattie, Wossname, Seismic-2, Perkybird (and Mr. Perkybird!), The Ridger, Paul, Spunkyzoo (aka Susie), and Razmytaz and his wife and son! (And I think that’s it? Write me if I’ve left you out!) You should check out the Flickr photo sets of the event from Bourbon Babe and Mooncattie to see not only the event itself but the outing to the zoo organized earlier. If you need any incentive to look at these pictures, I have one thing to say to you: Rusty’s head on a stick.

Thanks to everybody who came out! (And special thanks to the Perkybirds who went totally out of their way to drive me back to my DC friends’ house, as the Washington Metro Red Line was undergoing track work and was apparently quite the fright.)

And now: your COMMENT OF THE WEEK!

“Poor Lu Ann. She finally gets up the courage to give Margo ‘the finger’, without ever realizing it’s a specific finger, and that isn’t it.” –Concrete Queen

And the runners up! Quite amusing!

“I’m starting to think that Curtis’s hat isn’t a conscious decision on his part, but maybe some kind of Flyspeck Island cursed artifact that’s attached to his head, constantly making him look like a moron. Look at panel 3, where he eyes his eternal punishment wearily.” –Taquelli

“Luann: ‘Something came up.’ ‘Something? Like…?’ ‘Something like MY PENIS! Bahahaha!! …Seriously, though, I can’t make it.'” –Austria

“I love how Mark specifically tells Rusty, ‘You’re not going to rest until Sassy comes home.’ Had there been more room for dialogue, I’m sure that Mark would have added, ‘As for me, well, I’m gonna look for half an hour, forty-five minutes tops. Then I have to hit the hay, ’cause tomorrow I’m gonna have a long day of acting like I can see what’s different about Cherry’s hairstyle.'” –The Poster with No Name

“Going by the Shirt-Off-Yore-Back Feller’s appearance, I’d guess the M is for Manscaping.” –Red Greenback

“Today’s Luann wins the award for the worst sexual metaphor ever. The phrase ‘Could you freeze my goodies’ should be forever outlawed by the Geneva Sexy-Talk Convention.” –Stu

“I don’t think those are shoulder pads. I’m not an oncologist, but I think I know a malignant clavicle when I see it.” –wagmore barkless

“Dennis the Menace has shown young Dennis praying at his bedside for decades, but I don’t know that they’ve ever explicitly told us he was praying to God.” –Ed Dravecky

“I’m imagining the visual of a scrapbooking party in the Funkyverse. ‘Take the picture of your dead wife/attempted suicide/failed business venture and paste it onto the colored paper. Now delicately sprinkle the page with your tears. Don’t forget to take this out to scare off any of your offspring’s potential mates!'” –Dr. Dread

“Speaking of which, Mary might take a page from one of the Five Books of Moses, who A) was a humble and reluctant leader, B) learned that the Hebrews could be helped only when ready to help themselves, and C) rarely if ever wore a neckerchief.” –Comics Fan

“Q: What do Pluggers have in common with Mark Trail? A: Dog hairs and skid marks.” –Ned Ryerson

“Nothing more romantic than a road flare lit dinner for two.” –zerowolf

“Dolly asks a legitimate question. When Daddy is under the weather, he is sick. When Daddy is flying over the weather, he is high.” –survivor

“By ‘X-pensive,’ Cosmo means ‘thinking about porn’ — hence his posture in front of the TV, lack of pants, and surprised expression.” –Uncle Lumpy

“9 Chickweed Lane, October 30th, 2009: ‘Juliette, did I ever tell you how I met and fell in love with your father?’ 9 Chickweed Lane, May 24th, 2010: ‘–he mounted me again. Our sweaty bodies were writhing and grinding as he rhythmically thrusted his–‘ ‘Will you look at the time! Mom, I … I really need to go.'” –Push Trot

“Slylock’s normal mystery has been replaced by an annoying numerical mystery that only a meth head could solve. ‘Is it 15 spiders or only 14? In all this excitement, I can’t tell. You’ve got to ask yourself one question: do you feel delusional? Well, do you?!'” –Jumper

Big thanks to everyone who put cash in my tip jar! And we must of course give thanks to our advertisers:

• Wereling: A book to sink your teeth into!: Is he boy or beast? Trey’s ordinary life is wrenched apart when he discovers he’s the last hereditary werewolf, demons are closing in, and the most psychopathic bloodsucker to rock the Netherworld wants him dead.

To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here.

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Your COTW coming in a moment, but first: It’s another podcast starring your favorite blogger (assuming that I’m your favorite blogger, which I OBVIOUSLY AM). I did the War Rocket Ajax podcast with comics bloggers Euge Ahn and Chris Sims. We discuss, among other things, our secret love for Curtis, and fought our way through various technical difficulties. I even took questions from the newfangled Twitter machine. Good times!

And now, your COMMENT OF THE WEEK!

“You gotta admire Peter Parker. It takes a lot of skill, determination, dedication, and guts to watch as much TV as he does and still be unable to work the remote buttons with one hand.” –Dragon of Life

And the runners up! Very hilarious!

“Mark Trail has got to be Monday’s funniest comic strip. Look at Sassy run from Rusty and his terrible, perverted promises!” –sloopygoop

“It appears to be a fashion frump-off. Who can have the highest neckline?” –Rusty

“Peter is going to surprise MJ by going to his wife’s show instead of watching TV all night? Who is he trying to fool? Kudos though on setting the marital bar so low that any effort to care about MJ gets you showered with sex.” –Shawn S.

“‘Too close’ to Marvin means ‘within smelling distance’. So … pretty far, actually.” –Sue D. Nymme

“I’ll surprise MJ by finally pretending to show interest in something that she does. I truly AM a hero … now for my morning bowl of gin and breadcrumbs.” –Cooler King

“What’s that can in Peter’s hand? Is it a special energy drink for whiners?” –Artist formerly known as Ben

“The rain is just a red herring. Dennis is holding a newspaper over his head, asking if he can stay with Mr. Wilson until the inevitable demise of print media. Luckily, that will happen well before the thunderstorm is over.” –Patrick

“Am I the only one who gets that Margo, in order to set an example, is going to assault Lu Ann using sticks and stones?” –Push Trot

“The intimate moment between skilled farmer and nostalgic cow would be easier to bear without the two pairs of eyes staring directly into my soul, probing me for judgment. You will find none here, you two, continue for all time.” –Nachos Supreme

“I fear that the terrible green shirt in Mary Worth is headed for the ‘keep’ pile. Oh Mary, haven’t you hurt Bonnie enough?” –Les of the Jungle Patrol

“I completely connect with the Senator’s need to announce the vague details of his job. Many’s the time I stopped by the local watering hole, proudly held my finger aloft, and said ‘I delivered educational instruction to fourth graders today!’ Then an old guy talks about poop.” –salmo

“You know what would be a really funny Luann strip? Quinn: ‘So, tomorrow we’ll both get naked and I’ll thrust my penis into your vagina repeatedly until I ejaculate.’ Luann: ‘Be sure to stimulate my clitoris so I have an orgasm.’ Tiffany walks in and for some reason gets the mistaken idea that Luann & Quinn are planning on having sex. Hilarity ensues.” –Nekrotzar

“Luann’s eyes have always looked like a Muppet’s eyes to me. Vacant, soulless Muppet eyes.” –Josh N.

“If this storyline follows the Trail template, the overalled driver’s next move will be to break into a closed store to get some kind of canine first-aid kit. Meanwhile, Mark will punch the horse because its face is hairy.” –Steve S.

“Since there are no bottles at the ‘British Pub,’ should we assume that the Bloody Mary will actually be made from blood?” –Digger

“I find it fascinating that the Gossip Fence in Hootin’ Holler is constructed merely by threading its railings through holes that have been cut into the uprights, whereas the barrette in Elviney’s pony-tail appears to be firmly riveted into place, if not in fact anchored in reinforced concrete.” –seismic-2

“The one-on-one intervention in Mary Worth has clearly been harrowing on our helmet-haired protagonist. She may look as fresh and put-together as always, but her usual icy rictus grin can’t hide her visibly missing index finger, no doubt bitten off by Bonnie when Mary tried to take the former’s credit cards.” –Paddy

“The letter M on the runner’s cap marks how far he got in learnin’ the alphabet before he had to quit school. Since he made it into the double digits (13 letters!), he is alternately feared and mocked as the community’s sole interlekchual.” –boojum

Big thanks to everyone who put cash in my tip jar! And here’s where we might be giving thanks to advertisers like you! To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here.